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28 July 2012

O&K 16

*5awla*

They expect me to smile and greet people I don't even know when I'm broken and vulnerable. They expect me to forget about someone who will always exist in my life and be a part of it. They expect me to let him go not knowing that he was my soul. They expect me to be happy for them even though their marriage has destroyed the only thing that I was confident about, my relationship with O. 
I don't blame them, they don't feel what I feel. They're happy that O is finally going to be a married man that will bring cute kids to the family. It doesn't matter if he loved his wife or if he loved me, they wanted O to get married and start a family of his own. His mother was the happiest, she got what she wanted. Her son away from me and happily married to a girl that she chose for him.
Are you satisfied K? Are you happy with your life?
If you asked me those 2 questions 2 years ago, my answer would be; " yes! I'm happy! Really happy! Everything is happening according to my future plans."
But if you ask me those 2 questions now, I'd say; " no I'm not happy, I forgot how its even like to be a happy person. I lost everything and I'm not afraid to lose anymore. I've lost the one thing that I cared about the most so now nothing matters. Happiness doesn't exist for me, its way too far and I can't reach for it."
But all of this doesn't matter now. O is getting married, shamma is his wife, and K is his cousin.



Dana: 5awool! Wainch enty! Tra bnnzl now bsr3h

5awla; yalla etryaini

Dana; balah 9otch?

She came close to me

5awla; ma balah shay. T3banah bs

Dana; kl ha ma yswa ya 5awla. Mb mn n9ebch w 5ala9

5awla; 9a7 kalamch.

She hugged me and left.

Mb mn n9ebch ya khawla, mb mn n9ebch.

------

3afra; shftii hathech danoo mdri shu esmha a'6ni sara, tlw3 blchbd!

Dana; adrii!!!! Fstanha 3ad mool mb 7loo!

3afra; wla amoon eldbah, 6a3 mkayjha chnha g6wa.

Dana; a7enh amoon w saroo 5lehm 3la 9oob, shofi hathech ely fstanha shway w byn6r mb rayma 7ta tmshi!

3afra; hay allah yslmch rbee3t shamma, esmha 79a.

Dana; 79aaa 7ta esmha bay5

3afra; bs 7lwa

Dana; ay 7lwa 9dg ma3ndch thoo8

3afra; e3trfai t'3arain -.-

Dana; a'3aar! Eskti bs gbl ma afrch br3

They both laughed.

-----
*shamma*

I was about to get married to the sexiest man in dubai.
He's perfect ya allah, maba ydsh 3shan a5af elbanat y7sdoni 3laih.
A'3ar 7ta youm dano wla 3afoor wla 5awol yklmoonh or yshofonh.
A7bh wayd wallah. He took my heart away, I can't wait to carry his babies and be his wife jdma elnas w el3alm.
3mair, 7ta esmh y5bl.

----
*3mair*

M7md; bs 3ad eyls mkan wa7d , b3d shwei bn6l3.

3mair; bs a7taj aseer mkan shway w bared!

M7md; 3mair allah y5lek ma nba mshakl, la tswelna flm hndi

3mair; aba aklmha bs! Tra mrat snh w n7na 3la hal 7al 7ta salam ma tslm!

M7md; wayd zain b3d! Tb3don 3n b3'6 ya5i mrtk ttryak hnak 3l kosha wnth tfkr fe 5awla!

3mair; 5awla hay ya m7md

M7md; 5awla byeha rayal y7bha akthr 3nk

3mair; shu etgol entah, ya5i ekrmna b skootk, mat3rf thdi elwa7d. E6l3 tra 39btni w a5af aswi shay yz3lna

M7md; bt'6rbni btsbni sawi ely tbah bs hal kalam ely lazm tsm3h, mn n9eb '3airk!

3mair; mst7eel , ya 3mair ya wla 7d.

M7md; mafek '6amer enta? Elbnt m5ltkn 3la kaifk w ra'6ya b zwajk, 5lha fe 7alha.

3mair; w enta laish dash 3ar'6, hay malty.

M7md; allah yhdek

3mair; yhdi eljame3 enshallah

------
*5awla*

I was wearing a red dress, O's favorite color.
I had a red lipstick that even girls would turn lesbian for me.
Lol I'm trying to make myself laugh but its not working.
I know I look hot.
I've lost weight for this wedding and I've looked for a dress just to make O regret this. To know that its his loss but O has nothing to do with this. I guess. He didn't choose shamma.
I had my hair on one side with really luxurious red diamonds.
I feel gorgeous.

Dana; yalla elryayel bydshon b3d shway 5awool, yebi 3batch.

5awla; UFFF mt2kda? Now?

3afra; hayh 5awla yalla!

I went to grab my 3bah and shaila then headed back to the 8a3ah.
My heart was beating so fast, I don't want to see him. I don't won't to cry.

The dj announces that elm3rs we9al w bydsh.

I quickly head outside, yes I can't handle seeing him wearing the bsht and all.

I put on my shaila, grab my bb and head outside the 8a3a.
I sat on a brown couch in the reception and stared at the blackberry screen hoping someone would call or anything that would make me stop thinking about him.
But who am I kidding? Mno byt9l 3lay hal wagt -_-



Suddenly, a tall tanned guy appears and sits infront of me.
I kept staring at him for no reason, he distracted me and I needed that.

Guy; shfeech?

He laughs and I curse
Walla shu hal 7alah, akeed ygol mno hal habla

Guy; shklch 7ta enty yaya mn hal 3rs.

5awla; ana?

I look around to see if he's really talking to me.

Guy; 3yal akoo '3airch

5awla; ma3rf

I smiled and he smiled back.

5awla; t3rf elm3rs?

Guy; la2...

5awla; ooh ymkn tgrb 7g shamma?

Guy; shamma.. La ma t9erli.

5awla; 3yal enta laish yay el3rs enshallah -.-

Guy; entay laish yaya?

5awla; ana cousin elm3rs. Yalla jawb su2ali.

Guy; ana 89tii 89ah.

5awla; tell me, I need something to distract me.

Guy; why? What's wrong?

5awla; drama.

Guy; my life is all about drama

5awla; well this drama is really lame.

Guy; ill tell you my drama and let's see if its lame as yours?

5awla; go ahead..

He moved closer and sat next to me. I don't know why am I even talking to him.

Guy: well the shamma we were talking about was meant to be mine.

5awla; E7LF! Shamma 7aaabeeebtk :o

He shushed me and laughed.

Guy: hadaay ya m3wda shfeech!

5awla; shu shfech entah b3d! Tra my cousin bytzwjha!

Guy; well tgdren tgolen 7ub mn 6araf wa7d. Ma tabeni hal shamma.

I looked at him and felt sorry. So he came to her wedding even though she didn't want him. He had the courage to see her get married to another guy and look at me, escaping mn el8a3ah 3shan mashoofh. Lame.

Guy; is it lame?

5awla; not at all! Its really brave walla!

Guy; brave?

5awla; yes! To come here and watch her get married.

Guy; well I'm happy for her... Shu aswi y3nee life is unfair, enzen yalla w 89tch

5awla; well my story is similar to yours. A7b elm3rs but we're not meant to be too.

Guy; look at how lame we sound. Tra hmm el5sraanen walla.

5awla; you don't get it. He loved me back but they don't want us to be together and now I'm a moron sitting out here just to ignore the fact that he's in there with her.

I started to cry and he looked at me.

Guy; la tbchen 3ad, tra eldnya ma tswa. Kani jdamch, mt7ml w 9abr w 7bebti ma3 wa7d thani.

5awla; allah y3een but you sound like you're over her already

Guy; it happened a long time ago and were ok now but I just wanted to see her happy. So I came.

5awla; I wish I can get over it...

Guy; you will trust me. You'll forget about him.

5awla; kaif y3ne w ana agdr ashoofah kl ym3ah fe bait yadoo w ashoof shamma w ashoof 3yalhm b3d. Walla 8ahar.

Guy; 3ad 9eeri gwya, hal shay beedch, lw b'3aiti tnsainh btnsain enshallah.

I smiled and he smiled back.

5awla; thank you stranger.

He laughed

5awla; so I'm sure you're not emarati!

Guy; yeah , kuwaity.

5awla; knt mt2da! Tbchen w entay.

Guy; mashay a7la 3n 7chena --.--

5awla; wna ma glt shay -.-

Guy; eee 7sbali b3d

We both laughed.

Guy; ma glteeli, shsmch?

5awla; ana esmi 5awla, w entah?

Guy; 3ad hay 5leeha sr.

5awla; 6a3 sr shu yalla 3ad gool

Guy; excuse me, mnjbr aseer.

I was about to say NOO DONT LEAVE ME! But wait, I don't even know him lol.

5awla; well it was nice talking to you tall tanned kuwaity stranger.

He smiled

Guy; yalla ma3a elsalama.


He was walking towards the parking lot but I couldn't. He was the only one who had the right words and felt what I felt even though he's over it, he went through it.

I started running with my 3baya and huge fstan underneath and my ka3ab.

5awla; entaaah kuwaity!

He turned around and stopped.

5awla; 3ad ystwi che trk"6ni wrak to the parking lot.

Guy; shb'3aiti -,-

5awla; naaaaaa7ees maleeee8 3la gooltkm

He leaned behind his car and looked at me.

5awla; LOOK this is really weird and what I'm about to say would sound way wrong but atleast you're not local eiy?

Guy: bring it on.

5awla; I think I need your number, I can give you mine, you're a person I can talk to.

I looked down and he was laughing his ass off.

Guy; tr8meeni ya m3wda!

He couldn't stop laughing.

5awla; never mind

I wanted to head back inside and never see his face again. What did I just do. Am I that stupid? Asking a stranger for his number and giving him mine just because he made me feel secure and calm.


I started walking slowly but then...


Guy: 5awlaaaa!

I turned back,,

Guy: tlfoonch?

5awla; why?

Guy: 36eeni eyah shway

I ggave him my phone without hesitating, WHAT ARE YOU DOING KHAWLA?

He typed something and then gave it back to me.

I looked at my phone and there it was, his name and number.

Guy: I miscalled myself to have ur number too.


I smiled.

5awla; tshrfna 7aidar.

7aidar; tshrfna 5awla.

And we both smiled again.

24 July 2012

O&k 15

3mair; 5awlaa bs 3ad t3bt wna ark'6 wyach *laughing*

5awla; 5ala9 trak kbrt w 3yzt wna b3dni feeni 7ail

3mair; ely ygool 3mri 50 snh ela 20

5awla; 7ta law you're still old -.-

3mair; ana arawech mno elold

I picked her up and ran around like a stupid kid
She was laughing and laughing and laughing. She even teared from all the laughing.

5awla; nzlnii 3mair walla b6ni bynfjr

3mair; mno el old?

5awla; entaa

3mair; ana? Matooben? Tbaini adwrch elpark klh y3ne

I raised my eyebrows and placed my hands on her cheeks.

She looked at me and I looked at her for 30 seconds without moving my eyes.

5awla; shu

3mair; mtnana

5awla; SHU! Hhdni 3mair nzlni -.-

3mair; a9ln a7la

5awla; chub walla tnzlni, a5af eydk t3wrk mn MTNI :)

3mair; hahaha balach 5awool , atm95r walla

5awla; enzen yalla nzlni , 36sht

3mair; enzen enser na5th water?

5awla: w ice cream?

3mair; btmten zyadah che mb shay

She slapped my shoulders and started walking as fast as she can to the man selling water, chips, chocolate, ice cream, etc.

I started laughing and chased her

3mair; 5awlaa!

5awla; na3am

3mair; a7b al3wzch shu aswi

5awla; wa'67 -_-

3mair; yalla ay ice cream tbain

5awla; ma bgoolk ba5th bro7i -.- goom b3eed

She pushed me

I grabbed her hands w dzaitha waray

3mair: baba yreed thnaina ice cream kakaw w thnaina may

Ylst tt7r6m waray w tsbni sab wna mswlha akbar 6aff

3mair; kam?

Hindi; 15 dhs

I gave him the money and handed 5awool the bag.

5awla; wshdarak aba chocoalate y3ne

3mair; kaif shdrani? Ana 3mair

5awla; w shu y3ne

3mair; a3rfch

I winked.
She smiled.

-----

Shamma; ya waily ya waily! Bythb7haa w bythb7ni! Mat9l lain al7een akeed m39b!

Dana; ya allah shamoo haddi tra 3mair wayd open minded w cool

3afra; open minded raylch! Ma shfti kaif ywdha w d5lha elsyarah

Dana; y3ne aked byw9lha elbait

Shamma; w lw ubooha shafha, walla bamoot. Galby shwei w bywgf. Shu bygol 3ni a7enh!

3afra; shamoo may59ch! Lw s2lna bngol n7na we planned w b3dain knti labsa 3dl. 7ta sh3rch m'36tnh

Dana; hayh 9a7 kalam 3afoor!

Shamma; ufff brood feekm! Ana bt9l feeh

Dana jumped out of her place and grabbed shamma's phone!

Dana; enty habla? Maynoona? 5dya?

Shamma; 36eeni tailfooni! Aba aklmh!

Dana; 3afoor fhmeha tra bnjl6 , mat3rf 3mair!

3afra sat next to shamma, placed her hand around her shoulders

3afra; esm3i ya shamma ya 7beebti. Raylch ensan 39bi w may7b 7d yklmh w hoo m39b. Y3ne akeed a7enh lw et9lna feh bybhdlna w byg63na w b3dain tra klh wla 3mri. Mar'6a ysbni jdamkm (a) w shay thani tra 3mair mst7eel yrd 3laich.

Shamma; y3ne shu aswi 3afoor plz golele

3afra; ana agoolch 7ayati, fri eltailfoon w t3ali 5lna nakl pizz.

Shamma pushed 3afra away

Shamma; seeri kli pizza broo7ch, ana fe 7alah wnti fe 7alah.

Dana; UFFF tra bayekm kaff , 5ala9 ya5i lw3tu chbdi bs bs bs!

3afra; goomu dano 5lna nseer nakl pizza w 5leha t9e7 hay hni broo7ha

Shamma stood behind the door

Shamma; walla ma t6l3oon! Klmu 3mair

Dana; rdainaaa?!!!! Ya allah ya kareeem

3afra; t3ali danoo b6li eltv maba asm3 9ootha

shamma; a7sn -.-


--------

*5awla*

I was very happy, I can't even explain or describe what I'm feeling.

Were here , alone, no one is judging. Nobody knows that I'm 5awla and he's 3mair. I wish it could be like this forever. Me, him, and strangers that don't judge.

I keep looking at him and he keeps looking at me. I'm scared that this moment will end soon w ana ma shb3t mn shoofth. Were walking, hand by hand, he's telling me stories about jam3th w t59'9h wna asm3 w a'67k.

3mair; y3ne shu aswi a7eenh? Akml engineering wla?

5awla; shoof ana a7s engineering. You're smart, you can pass it with high grades bs its not your thing. Mn youm wnth 9'3eer etgol tba tstwi a doctor.

3mair; 5ayf 5awool tra mb shay shl

5awla; walla adri 3mair! Bs hal shay 6moo7k w a7lamk. T7eed youm kna nl3b awnh ana mree'6a w bamoot wnth eldector ely by3yshni!

3mair; walla ayaam.

5awla; edrs 6b.

He looked at me, came close, kissed my forehead, and smiled.

3mair; enshallah.

I grabbed his hands and looked into his eyes.

5awla; m7d et9l feek?

3mair; mdri

5awla; aked ys2lon 3na now

3mair; mayhmni

He was pulling me back and it was so dark that I couldn't see where he was taking me or if I was going to step over something. I was walking backwards , facing him.

Suddenly, my back touches a huge tree.

He touches my hands and I can feel him staring at me.

5awla; 5lna enrd elbait.

3mair; laish

I felt his breathe, I was going to dye.
My knees were going to bail on me and make me fall but I was strong.

5awla: mdri

It was hot, really hot. I was sweating, I couldn't even move.

3mair; 5awla

5awla; hmm

3mair; 5awool

5awla; na3am

3mair; aba aswi feech jremah.

He kissed my ears and I nearly fainted.
Jreemah?
What?
I was so scared. I trust him but he looks creepy.

I pushed him away and placed my hands on his face.

5awla; take me home.

3mair; maba 5awla!

5awla; please 3mair

3mair; ufffff at'3fr allah w atoob elayh.

He got mad. I don't care, what he's doing is wrong. No matter hwo much I wanted it or how much I loved him, its wrong.

5awla; et9l fe shamma , akeed t7atek?

3mair; emshy jdami emshy

5awla; la tklmi che 3mair!

3mair; agolch emshy!

5awla; lazm t39b w you ruin my mood! Malait tra, kl ma ystwi shay t39b mb 7alah hay

3mair; laish enty t5len elwa7d ystans

5awla; shu tbani aswi y3ne? Ely swaitah '3l6

3mair; '3l6 wla 9a7 , laish etebn 6areha?

5awla; 6ariii 7rmtk?

3mair; 5awla!

5awla; 7rmtk? Is it that bad? Shamma? Is it that annoying?

3mair; ya raabi

5awla; uff mnk tra lazm tt8bl elwa83 :)

3mair; 3aybnch elwa83, tbain tftkain mni?

5awla; hayh '3ayer kalami a7eenh

3mair; goomi emshi jdami 5leni aw9lch

5awla; a7sn!

I walked and he was behind me. I hate him.

------
*In the car*
*3mair*

Reminding me that I have a wife is painful. Its like there is this other person that I have to think about before doing anything with my life. Its like I have someone to worry about and keep calling to see if everything is okay.

I don't like it, I like to feel free and dependent. Especially when I have no feelings for that person. I can ask about her, I can take care of her, I can watch her but I can't love her. My heart has fell inlove already before meeting her. My heart is still inlove.

She was queit, she looked at the window without even making any noise.

I took my phone and called the famous shamma.


3mair; halla shamma

I can see her moving her head slowly to look at me after hearing shamma's name.

3mair; ely swaitooh klkm '3l6!

3mair; adri adrti knti mt'36yah w 5breni bs ely wyach....

3mair; enzen t9b7en 3la 5air.



I threw my fone behind the back seat.

5awla; a39abk w b3dain kaif tgool " ely wyach "

3mair; laish glt shay '3l6

5awla; walla tra may59k feeni w la trms 3ni 3nd 7rmtk

3mair; 7rmti w kaify, brms 3n ely abah wyaha :)

5awla; 3nad?

3mair; 3nad wla mb 3nad, kaify.

5awla; trak ..

3mair; trani shu? Arjooch kmli..

5awla; wala shay :)

------

After 1 year...

Shamma; mama tra walla ha klh wayd! A7s b6ee7 wna a7awl amshi to the kosha!

Um shamma; mb wayd wla shay! Enty 3aroos 5alaa9!

Dana; shammoo a7la 3aroos a7lflch!

Shamma; WALLA? Uff danoo thnx!! A7bch!!

3afra: bs 5lh y3dloon sh3rch shway, 5rbth umch -.-

Shamma; ok ezgri lavita 5lha ete et3dl



3afra: laviita! Laavitaa! Come please!






5awla; lavita rw7t.

3afra: wayh wnti laish yalsa fl '6alam! Nshy b3d shwei bnnzl nslm!

5awla; yalla bs b3dl lbsi.

3afra; ka2eebh ka2eebh -.- ebtsmai enzen walla ma bystwi shay.


To be continued.

-----
I hope you enjoyed it. I love you all! Thnx for waiting!


- Shamma

15 July 2012

Hey...

Hello Readers,

Shamma is getting better day by day. She can finally move her hands normally without any sign of pain. She started writing post #15 and ill be posting as soon as I get the copy. Shamma has no internet acess so she writes posts and sends them to me by mail that's why it takes time to post.

* I LOVE YOU SHAMMO and I'm really proud that you didn't stop even though you're going through a lot! 

- Meera (@MeeraMarri , her cousin)