O&K 10

Sorry for being always late , my spring break mb now :(

Enjoy my lovely readers:*
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When I came back , everything was so true.
Like back then in USA , I was confident that I'm moving on but when I'm back here , it seems different.
It seems scary and nerve wrecking.
Mama was crying , 7mood kept talking about how much fun we'll have cuz I'm finally back.

They talked and talked
But I didn't listen , I had two phones.
One that I didn't dare to open
All our msgs are in that phone
Her pictures
Our fights
Our make ups
Mostly everything
The phone that I had with me in London had nothing to do with 5awla.

Just saying her name makes me feel bad.
She's my cousin , ill get to see her every now and then so I have to be ready for it.

M7md; yado will be thrilled!

Moza; hayh walllah , 7lailha she misses u A LOT !

3mair; I miss her too!

I smiled and they both smiled back.

I looked at the window next to me

My heart started beating so fast

I placed my hands on my heart

It was eager to be close to hers.


----

I was sitting with 3afoor and danoo
We became friends again -.- as usual
We fight and we get back to being ok
That's us (a)

Even though I was nervous and scared, I was excited too
I just miss his face and his laugh
His innocent smile
His flirty smirks
His eyes
His smell
Just everything

But who am I kidding? he doesn't want to see me
He wants to see her.
I feel broken and mad because he forgot about me in seconds.
When he told me he loved me ! What was it , a joke?
Was he lying just to make me feel good and have an excuse?
I don't know , I really don't.
I need to talk to him to understand but absolutely not
Our talks would be cousinly ONLY!
I worked so hard on myself , to get out of my comfort zone and I'm not giving it all up for a guy that is so full of himself and selfish.
For a guy that gave up on me so fast
I don't care if his mom said so
Or my dad said so
He needs to do something if he was all over me as he said he was.

AAAHH 5awool just stop thinking about it! Stop stop stop stop stop

Yup stop!

Yadoo came in and she smiled to all of us
wgfna w srnalha 3shan enslm 3laiha w nboos rasha

Yadoo; sh7alch 3afra

3afra; b5air yadoo

Yadoo; w danoo!

Dana; I'm great (a)

But when she turned to look at me , che she got mad fj2a

Yadoo; shu labsa 5awla:s

5awla; shu:s bn6loon w 8amee9!

Yadoo; goomi goomi bdli 3n eyech kaff a7eenh

I got so scared , its the first time she talks to me che!
I was literally shaking
I see her mad at others but never at me
Never at her only 5awool

5awla; shu yado ! Mn wain ayebli thyab enshallah w b3dain yadoo balach, mb awal mrh etshoofeni che

Yadoo; bs elyoum '3air , elyoum bayoon e5wan shamma 56eebt 3mair w wayd nas so go get change

5awla; aaah -.- a'3yr 3shanha y3ne w mno gal b6l3lhm

Yadoo; incase seeri '3yri! Shoofi 3afoor w dano labseen jlaleeb

5awla; wna wain a6l3li jlaabyh

Yadoo; seeri 3ndi wayd foog

I got really mad! Like super super mad
I left the room and got upstairs to get a fucking jlabyh just to make miss shamma and her brothers happy?

I grabbed a pink jalabiya that suited my heels
I looked at my reflection in the mirror
I have to admit , I look healthy compared to what I've been through

I look pretty (a) MASHALLAH! :p

Before leaving , I sat on the bed and checked my fone.
There were many msgs and bbm's that I didn't bother opening! I was secluded from the outside world for a long time and now its the moment to get back.
I updated my DP and wrote " 5awla AlX "
Smiled to the screen and slowly got downstairs.

----
3afra; guess what yado came up with

5awla; wtf is wrong with her today?

Dana; I knw-.-"! She's so mad

5awla; enzen w b3dain! Shu tbana nswi! Ntn8b?

3afra; no no something even worse :)

5awla; omg what can be worse?

Dana; a sleepover with shamma:)

5awla; NO WAY SHUT UP!

3afra; walla she came and told us youm rw7ti t'3yreen

5awla; well I'm not staying

Dana: u have to!

5awla; I don't want to

3afra; she's forcing us 5awool! W b3dain 7ram 3aib

5awla; what do u mean 7ram 3aib? Seriously 3afoor u know how I feel about this

3afra; 7ayati 5awool walla adri bs let's do it for yadoo! She will be so mad if we go against her will

5awla; please god save me ! Can this day get any better :D?!!!!

3afra; this little shamma! I wanna squeeze her

Dana; 7raam! Maybe she's nice! Ygoolon wayd 7lwa

I sat there listening and not joining that lame convo.

They were talking about shamma and 3mair as a couple and I don't mind. I know it hurts but I'm going to here their name a lot today so I have to suck it up!

I'm so confident about myself , I know I'm better and I can find a better person. I'm not ready for realtionships after all or am I?

With all of these thoughts , a group of women came in with yadoo.

We stood up and smiled
I faked faked faked a fucking smile
They were all like so happy and super excited
I wanted to pucnh them and kick their asses!

There was this thing ! Like a tiny creature that was shining! Seriously she was shining , feeling happy more than the others.

Maybe it was her , maybe it was that shamma.

w7dh; sh5barch

w7dh; sh7alch

w7dh; elsalam 3laikm

I just nodded and smiled.

I was eager to know which one was that Beeeyatch.

There was a small group of young ladies so it was hard to know which one is S.

Yadoo; hay amnaa um shamma , hay el7lwa shammoo! Hay rbee3tha salama , w hay ro'6a bnt 3amtha :)

Ro'6a; sh7aalkm banat

Dana; el7mdllah b5aair , nwrtu

Amna; elnoor noorkm wallah

Yadoo; this is 5awla , 3afra , and dana ! My young ladies

3afra; halla :D

Shamma; ahlain :D

Her voice was just too annoying! I wanted to strangle her.

I looked at her with disgust and hatred.
I almost cried walla but I reminded myself that no one can make me feel this way anymore.

Shamma; sh7alch 5awla


Guess she felt my weird stares


5awla; zaina


I stood up and headed to grab some tissue from the table

I sat down near the telvision and ignored them. Maba any kind of conversation wyahm

I wonder where mama and 5alo moza

Yadoo; 5awla t3ali

She gave me a death stare so I had to get up and head back there

Aaah yadddo :@ ure becoming annoying and mean and selfish and and and :@ AAH!




3afra; habla?

She whispered

5awla; I hate it here

I whispered

3afra; guess I'm not the only one , look at her! She's not even pretty

5awla; talk about being ugly

We laughed and salama stared at us

I went like WHAT! But it was weird.

3afra; '3abya tf'67een

5awla; a7bch :$

She smiled and I did too.

---

Everybody was so nice and welcoming.

E5wan shamma are so respectul mashalla.

But my mind and my heart wasn't with them at all

It was worried about what was happening out there

Did shamma meet 5awla?
How does 5awla feel?

Moza; mama 3mair , yalla enroo7 3nd shamma shwei enslm 3laiha.

I nodded and smiled

Got up and headed to the door with my mom

Um 5awool followed us

It felt creepy and weird
I don't want to get in there
I don't want to see my K after what? A year
How would I feel
How would I react

This is really really hard.


Moza: yadoo , 3mair bydsh

She said that before entering.....

----

When I head 5alo moza's voice , I literally started shaking

Ma3rft shu aswi, adsh el7maam wla bs ajablh w I get over it

Walla m3rf kaif at9rf jdamh wla shu agool
Wayd shay 93b w mgdr ashoofh
I just can't , its difficult
Maba a9ee7 , maba adm3 , maba galby y3wrni

Maba a7s eny I'm back to that place.
I know from the moment that his foot will step into this room
My feelings will change
I don't just know , I am a thousand percent sure it will.

That's the effect that 3mair had on khawla.

Poor poor me :)

Everyone started putting on their shailas

I did too, I don't know why , I never do , but this time I did.
Maybe that will make me feel more comfortable around him?
Idk -,- I just did !

Andd after 2 mins , that door got unlocked and he stepped in after his mom.