O&K 8

I left the beach house and got into the car , I couldn't drive. My body couldn't react properly to all of this. It was heart breaking to see 5awla cry hal kthr w mno m9y7nha! ANA!

UFF UFF UFF , I've hit the car more than once , my arm was turning into all shades of blue and purple.
The fact that me , 3mair , is getting married che mb yalsa edsh mu5i. I've always thought that I'd be the last one to and the girl would be chosen by me not be forced by my mother.
Even the thought of getting married made me think about 5awla, how can life be that cruel.
I'm a man and I don't know what to do. I feel weak and useless, I feel broken and humiliated , I feel that I just wanna shut my eyes and never wake up.

My phone started ringing again , I picked it up and it was shamma.

3mair; shu tbain enty shu tbain!!!

Fraait elfone w I got into the car. I rested my whole body against the seat and I closed my eyes.
I closed my eyes to feel safe for once
I closed my eyes to feel good for once
I closed my eyes to release all the pain that is inside of me

But a knock on the car's window made me open my eyes and distracted again.
It was m7md.
I've unlocked the car so he got up into the front seat next to me.
He looked at me with nothing to say.. What would he say y3ne?


3mair; 5ala9 '6a3t mn eydy 7mood

M7md; shoof 7altk 3mair ! Allah y5leek shoof shklk ! Hatha rayal! Et7ml koon gwii! Lw enth che 7altk , kaif 5awla?!

3mair; 7mood bs eskt! D5eelk enchab tra 7alti mool mb s"hla walla ! Yals atg63 mn da5l !

M7md; goom , 5lni asoog

We got up and switched places , I took out a cigarrate to smoke.
I feel like life is not even worth living anymore. Smoking would make me feel better.

M7md; rdaina ? W mn mtaa edoo5 3mair

3mair; mn elyoum 7mood mn elyoum 5ala9 mayhmni shay

M7md; ya5ii be a man for once !

3mair; la ttflsf 3lai l2nh 9dg mb mtfyj bksr elsyarah 3laik:@

He didn't reply , he drove with absolute silent.

3mair; a7bha m7md a7bha , galby y3wrni ya rayal..

He also ignored , how can he understand when he can't even feel my pain.

--

*3afra*

3afra; ya raby 5awool ehdai!

5awla; kaif ahda kaif :( a7bhhhh 3afoor a7bhh :( walla el3'6eem a7bh! Mat5yl 7yati bdoonh! Ana astaans l2nh ho mwjood:( bdoonh ma aswa shay wallah

She kept crying and crying , I was hugging her and trying to calm her down bs mashay fayda mn hal bnt
Jsmha kan yntf'6 ! 7raartha nar w mb ra'6ya 7ta trgd.

She would call his name every now and then and say that she loves him mn kl galbha

7altha 5ltnii at3wr nfsyn. Mgdr ashofha che ! Hay 5awool! She would always smile and act happy , she never did this! Its really uncomfortable to see her like this w ma3rf shu aswi!

M3rf kaif at9rf ,,,

I picked up my fone and I called m7md

--

Trrrn trrrn trrn trrrn

M7md; ha 3afoor tt9l.

He grabbed my attention , I looked at him and waited for him to talk and say anything!

M7md: aloo

3afra; aloo 7mood el7gni!

M7md; balach:s

3afra: wayd yalsa et9e7 7mood wna m3rf shu aswi! Che yalsa trtjf w 7rartha mrtf3a w kl shwei etgool esmh

M7md; ooh 9dg allah kash5a w b3dain

3afra: wtf 7mood! OOH is he next to you?

M7md; hayh hayh , fl thlaja foog btlgain elchocolate,

3afra: ok RANDOM haha bs please come back soon , 5ayfh.

M7md; enshallah yalla t9b7en 3la 5air.

3afra; gn:**

I looked at him , waiting for an explanation che enh what's happening but he gave me none.

3mair; shu tgool 3afra?

M7md; matgool shay..

3mair; 3yal laish mt9la?

M7md; ts2lni 3n el7alawa mal ams

3mair; enzen w ma galat shay 3n 5awla?

M7md; oh la 5awla is fine , sleeping

3mair; ohh ..

We arrived at my home , I said goodbye to m7md. He placed my car in the garage and took a cab back to the beach house.

D5lt elbait w 7mdt rabi enh elwalda ma kanat mwjooda t7t!
I don't want to see her or even talk to her.

I just want to travel and stay away from her


I went up the stairs slowly , hoping that she wouldn't be around



Moza/MOM; 3mair..

But she would appear like always :)

I turned around and looked at her.

Moza; mthl el7rami edsh elbait

I didn't reply , I just looked at her as if " w b3dain ?"

I love my mom , I really do love her but she became crazy l draja enh ma t'th8 feeni ka rayal!

Moza; laish ma trd 3la shamma?

3mair; OHOO WNA KL MA BSWI SHAY BTOON T7ASBOONI

Moza; GA9ER 9OOTK!

3mair; enzen ma rdait 3laiha .. B3dain?

Moza; et9l feeha elbnya t7ateek

3mair; enshalla.

I turned the other way so I can continue to go back on the stairs and head to my room but ..

Moza; ehtm feeha 3mair tra elbnya t7ba w sharytnk

3mair; walla ana mabaha w ma7ba w m7d 6elab mnch etswen shay ana mb ra'6i 3laih. Ana che wyaha mb 3aybnha kaifha

Moza; 5rbt rask bnt rashed ha? Jlbtk 3laina ha? W9lt feek elmwa9eel enh trf3 9ootk 3lai w t3andni 3mairo

3mair; mama please enty t3rfen ana aba mno w t3rfen laish che yals aswi

Moza; bs 5awla ma tnf3lk ! N7n shamma mn 9'3rk nbaha 7gk! Ma t'thkrha!

3mair; la ma athkrha wla aba athkrha ok?

Moza; 3mair 3shani mama bs 7awl ttfa3l wyaha

3mair; MAMA esm3eeni ana ma7bha !!!!!!

Moza; bt7bha

3mair; mno galch ! Ana galby ma yba '3air 5awla!

Moza: rdaina! 5awla w 5awla! Yl3n youmha

3mair; MAMA 3n el'3l6 bs ! Glti e56bha w 56bnaha , rmsha w rmsnaha now mmkn t5leni fe 7ali! La t5afain bntzwj :)

Moza; hayh che zain :) hatha 3mair

3mair; t9b7en 3la 5air

I headed to my room , locked the door , and layed on my bed.

Shu t5rf hay mama , how come mn 9'3ri abaha wna 7ta ma3rfha

Ya allah. Mno shamma hay:s mta shayfnha ana :s

And it starting getting back to me...

Does she mean that shamma :O oh it couldn't be

That tiny shamma :s

The shamma that I used to joke at and throw things at.
The shamma that we would go to every friday after lunch @ yadoo's with 5awool, 3afoor, and 7mood.

I smiled at the memories and how I was so clueless
But they disappeared fj2a, I don't remember them growing up.

Shamma is a family friend . Her father is my father's bestfreind.

When it started getting to me , it made me hate our marriage even more.
I don't want to hurt a person that I care about.
Shamma was a childhood friend.

I started searching for my phone but remembered that it was thrown and damaged god knows where.

Tommorow would be your last day here 3mair, your last day so just go with it.
You would sleep and next day you'd find yourself in the airplane on your way to america for 2 years.

----

3afra; 5AWOOL BS!

M7md; 5awla esm3eeni baba , shoofi , 3mair is fine , you should be fine too!

5awla; GO OUT! Mabakm

3afra; I'm not leaving you like this 5awla!

I was crying over my lost stupid love , I was crying over my broken heart and my messed up feelings.
Why can't O&K work out why? What's so wrong and stupid about us?
I just want an answer , an answer that would make me go "oooooh" an answer that would erase the pain from my heart.

I sat down on the couch and hugged the pillow , closed my eyes , and ignored their yells and stupid advices about 3mair.

I know they think I'm acting like a kid but they don't understand a thing , they don't feel a thing , they didn't go through this shit ! I did , its all me over here.

I've been this innocent girl, protecting myself from all these mad men out there , I've been so goood , I've been loyal to my god and to my family even my friends.
How can such a cruel thing happen to me?
I don't think I deserve that much pain. Its unfair!

I closed my eyes, hoping just hoping that tommorow I would wake up and all of this would be a dream.

Ya 5sara ya 7beebi ya 3mair '6a3t b 7ubk sneeni.

-----
*3mair*

I woke up the nest day feeling like a mess. I have no phone , my bag is not packed and I don't even feel like traveling.

I sat on my wooden chair , grabbed a piece of paper and a black pen.
I wrote for her , I can't go without saying anything.
Today is friday so akeed 7mood byrw7 bait yadoo and shell be there.
I thought before leaving , giving this letter to m7md and hed give it to her.

It went like this ;

5awooli , 7ayati , 3mry ,
Yes, I may be leaving you for a while and I may return and not find the chance to talk to you alone but you need to know that my heart will always belong with you. Its been with you for so long and it can't beat for any other person. Take care 7beebti w la t'6aygain 3shani maybe its for the best. Enty adra eny a7bch w enh m7tajnch fe hal ftra toogfeen wyay bs eldnya frgtna. Frgt ethnain malhm thanb. La tnsaini, 76i nfsch mkani 5awool, tra 93ba w 7alah tksr elgalb. wya hal letter b36i 7mood my hoddie ely wayd et7beenh so 5leh 3ndch. Atmna walla enh dnyti etkoon doom wyach. Galby tmnach w b'3ach , mlkti galby walla w mb 3arf kaif che a5lech 7g '3airy. Aba a7s b lthat el7ub wyach w bs wyach. A6l3 chthaab w chthaab w chthaab lw youm glt eny mabach, walla chathab 5awla. W don't do things I don't approve of , mb ana mb mwjood etseren etswen ashya ana ma7bha , e3tbrai eny mwjood y3ne mb kl shwei t6l3een w rb3ch w mdri shu. Maaw9ech 3la roo7ch w bs , shu agool b3d 5awool . Ely fe galby wayd wayd bs ma b6wl 3laich.
a7bch , a7bch , a7bch ,

- 3mair

I kissed the letter and headed to the shower.

After the shower , I placed any extra things I need into the bag and headed downstairs.

I heard mama's voice wna nazl mn elstairs.
I kissed her head and said my good-bye to her
She started crying and saying that she's sorry for being mean and strict but that would be better for me.

Moza; 9dgni 3mair tra 5awla ma tnasbna

3mair; la eteben 6areha mama w 5ala9.

Moza; enzen la tnsa tt9l fe shamma 3shani mama

3mair; telfooni farnh mkan w '6ay3

Moza: walla w ana kaif brmsk wnth hnak?

3mair; la a7eenh fl m6ar ba5thli fone w 3ndi ra8am already so bs b6rshlch msg

Moza; ok mama

I called m7md from the bait phone

M7md; 9ba7 al5air

3mair; ay 5air

M7md; tfaa2l -.-

3mair; enzen yalla wiank?

M7md; yalla b3d 5 dgayg e6l3

3mair; bye

I closed the fone , grabbed a sandwich from the kitchen , took a bite while waiting for m7md.

He came after 15 minutes , I got into the car and the maid placed the bag fl dabah

3mair; mtt mn el7ar ! 5 mins wyahk!

M7md; za7ma enzen shu asweelk

He drove , I took out the letter and gave it to him

3mair: 36ha haa w elhoddie plz

He took the letter and kept it in his pocket
He threw the hoddie wra
3mair; mb tnsa 7mood

M7md; ok

I looked at the streets of dubai , I would miss my country w 59oo9an eny mt3lg feha. Ma7b asafr l2nh mashay mthl dbai fl dnya. Everything is around u and u can go anywhere and enjoy.

We arrived , I took my bag , hugged my bro , and headed to america.

-----

After giving 3mair a ride to the airport , m7md headed to his grandma's house where the family would always meet.
Its the first time he goes there without 3mair. It feels weird and he feels lonely without his best man but this is life.

Before stepping out of the car , he grabbed the hoddie and went inside.
He greeted everyone and kissed his yadoo's head.

Moza; ha m7md ! W9lt 3mair?

M7md; hayh 5alo w gal by6rshlch ra8mah

Moza; zain 7beebi

Yadoo: walla w bntwlh 3laik ya 3mair w 3la 7rkaatk ! Sntaian bdoonh t9dgoon walla mb shay! Hoo y7li eljaw hni! Fdait wldi walla ana

M7md; wna yadooh shu enshallah! Decore?

Everyone laughed but 5awla teared.
Everyone smiled but 5awla frowned.

I looked at 5awla and my heart ached for my poor cousin.
She kept looking at the hoddie, and I had to do something with it.
I won't give it to her , no I won't . She just needs to forget

M7md; 5alo moza , 3mair nasi haa fl syarah

Moza; shkrn 7mood.

She took the sweater and 5awla's face changed colors.
I knew she wanted that, she expected it to be hers but no it wasn't.

I broke a promise to 3mair but that shouldve happened.

I'm not giving her that letter either , shee needs to stop thinking about him.

5awla's sad face grabbed everyone's attention , they knew she was attached to him.

Yadoo; t3ali 5awla

5awla stood up and went to her yadoo, she cried in her arms and yadoo couldn't do anything about it. 3mair is gone anyways.

Moza; bs 9ya7 la ! 7g drasth b3d shu! Yalla nt'3da?

Yadoo gave 5aloo moza a mad look and 5alo moza shreiked.

------

I kept looking at m7md , hoping that hed grab my arm , take me b3eed 3nhm and say anything about him but he didn't.
He didn't say anything to me.
I felt lonely by the second.
I went looking for the girls so I headed upstairs.

I opened the door and I saw dana and 3afoor dancing like crazy

The sound of rashed almajed filling the room

Dana; 5loooh 3la kaifh ydwrr '3airrry yrtaa7 w artaa7 ana mn tfkeeri!

3afra; ma fad la 7uby w la t8derri mabeeh 7ta lw t3na w jaanii

Dana; 3ashawwww 3ashaaaawww

3afra; ma7booooobi mshaa w 5laaani

Dana+3afoor; yoooo daaaan yoo daaaanh waa daaanh daaaaniii yoo daaaaan ahaaa ahaaa

Dana; ymeeeeen , ysaaaar

They were moving like crazy :s the music was so loud that they didn't notice me coming in

Dana; walllaa shklh mn elbdayaaa 5aaynn!

3afra; 5daaa3 yaa danooo! Mafe shay fe 3ainh baayn

How could they do this?! I'm crying and suffering and dying here w they leave me alone and go dancing! Listening to stupid music!

I coudlnt handle it

5awla; QUIT THE MUSIC!

I screamed.