*5awla*
They expect me to smile and greet people I don't even know when I'm broken and vulnerable. They expect me to forget about someone who will always exist in my life and be a part of it. They expect me to let him go not knowing that he was my soul. They expect me to be happy for them even though their marriage has destroyed the only thing that I was confident about, my relationship with O.
I don't blame them, they don't feel what I feel. They're happy that O is finally going to be a married man that will bring cute kids to the family. It doesn't matter if he loved his wife or if he loved me, they wanted O to get married and start a family of his own. His mother was the happiest, she got what she wanted. Her son away from me and happily married to a girl that she chose for him.
Are you satisfied K? Are you happy with your life?
If you asked me those 2 questions 2 years ago, my answer would be; " yes! I'm happy! Really happy! Everything is happening according to my future plans."
But if you ask me those 2 questions now, I'd say; " no I'm not happy, I forgot how its even like to be a happy person. I lost everything and I'm not afraid to lose anymore. I've lost the one thing that I cared about the most so now nothing matters. Happiness doesn't exist for me, its way too far and I can't reach for it."
But all of this doesn't matter now. O is getting married, shamma is his wife, and K is his cousin.
Dana: 5awool! Wainch enty! Tra bnnzl now bsr3h
5awla; yalla etryaini
Dana; balah 9otch?
She came close to me
5awla; ma balah shay. T3banah bs
Dana; kl ha ma yswa ya 5awla. Mb mn n9ebch w 5ala9
5awla; 9a7 kalamch.
She hugged me and left.
Mb mn n9ebch ya khawla, mb mn n9ebch.
------
3afra; shftii hathech danoo mdri shu esmha a'6ni sara, tlw3 blchbd!
Dana; adrii!!!! Fstanha 3ad mool mb 7loo!
3afra; wla amoon eldbah, 6a3 mkayjha chnha g6wa.
Dana; a7enh amoon w saroo 5lehm 3la 9oob, shofi hathech ely fstanha shway w byn6r mb rayma 7ta tmshi!
3afra; hay allah yslmch rbee3t shamma, esmha 79a.
Dana; 79aaa 7ta esmha bay5
3afra; bs 7lwa
Dana; ay 7lwa 9dg ma3ndch thoo8
3afra; e3trfai t'3arain -.-
Dana; a'3aar! Eskti bs gbl ma afrch br3
They both laughed.
-----
*shamma*
I was about to get married to the sexiest man in dubai.
He's perfect ya allah, maba ydsh 3shan a5af elbanat y7sdoni 3laih.
A'3ar 7ta youm dano wla 3afoor wla 5awol yklmoonh or yshofonh.
A7bh wayd wallah. He took my heart away, I can't wait to carry his babies and be his wife jdma elnas w el3alm.
3mair, 7ta esmh y5bl.
----
*3mair*
M7md; bs 3ad eyls mkan wa7d , b3d shwei bn6l3.
3mair; bs a7taj aseer mkan shway w bared!
M7md; 3mair allah y5lek ma nba mshakl, la tswelna flm hndi
3mair; aba aklmha bs! Tra mrat snh w n7na 3la hal 7al 7ta salam ma tslm!
M7md; wayd zain b3d! Tb3don 3n b3'6 ya5i mrtk ttryak hnak 3l kosha wnth tfkr fe 5awla!
3mair; 5awla hay ya m7md
M7md; 5awla byeha rayal y7bha akthr 3nk
3mair; shu etgol entah, ya5i ekrmna b skootk, mat3rf thdi elwa7d. E6l3 tra 39btni w a5af aswi shay yz3lna
M7md; bt'6rbni btsbni sawi ely tbah bs hal kalam ely lazm tsm3h, mn n9eb '3airk!
3mair; mst7eel , ya 3mair ya wla 7d.
M7md; mafek '6amer enta? Elbnt m5ltkn 3la kaifk w ra'6ya b zwajk, 5lha fe 7alha.
3mair; w enta laish dash 3ar'6, hay malty.
M7md; allah yhdek
3mair; yhdi eljame3 enshallah
------
*5awla*
I was wearing a red dress, O's favorite color.
I had a red lipstick that even girls would turn lesbian for me.
Lol I'm trying to make myself laugh but its not working.
I know I look hot.
I've lost weight for this wedding and I've looked for a dress just to make O regret this. To know that its his loss but O has nothing to do with this. I guess. He didn't choose shamma.
I had my hair on one side with really luxurious red diamonds.
I feel gorgeous.
Dana; yalla elryayel bydshon b3d shway 5awool, yebi 3batch.
5awla; UFFF mt2kda? Now?
3afra; hayh 5awla yalla!
I went to grab my 3bah and shaila then headed back to the 8a3ah.
My heart was beating so fast, I don't want to see him. I don't won't to cry.
The dj announces that elm3rs we9al w bydsh.
I quickly head outside, yes I can't handle seeing him wearing the bsht and all.
I put on my shaila, grab my bb and head outside the 8a3a.
I sat on a brown couch in the reception and stared at the blackberry screen hoping someone would call or anything that would make me stop thinking about him.
But who am I kidding? Mno byt9l 3lay hal wagt -_-
Suddenly, a tall tanned guy appears and sits infront of me.
I kept staring at him for no reason, he distracted me and I needed that.
Guy; shfeech?
He laughs and I curse
Walla shu hal 7alah, akeed ygol mno hal habla
Guy; shklch 7ta enty yaya mn hal 3rs.
5awla; ana?
I look around to see if he's really talking to me.
Guy; 3yal akoo '3airch
5awla; ma3rf
I smiled and he smiled back.
5awla; t3rf elm3rs?
Guy; la2...
5awla; ooh ymkn tgrb 7g shamma?
Guy; shamma.. La ma t9erli.
5awla; 3yal enta laish yay el3rs enshallah -.-
Guy; entay laish yaya?
5awla; ana cousin elm3rs. Yalla jawb su2ali.
Guy; ana 89tii 89ah.
5awla; tell me, I need something to distract me.
Guy; why? What's wrong?
5awla; drama.
Guy; my life is all about drama
5awla; well this drama is really lame.
Guy; ill tell you my drama and let's see if its lame as yours?
5awla; go ahead..
He moved closer and sat next to me. I don't know why am I even talking to him.
Guy: well the shamma we were talking about was meant to be mine.
5awla; E7LF! Shamma 7aaabeeebtk :o
He shushed me and laughed.
Guy: hadaay ya m3wda shfeech!
5awla; shu shfech entah b3d! Tra my cousin bytzwjha!
Guy; well tgdren tgolen 7ub mn 6araf wa7d. Ma tabeni hal shamma.
I looked at him and felt sorry. So he came to her wedding even though she didn't want him. He had the courage to see her get married to another guy and look at me, escaping mn el8a3ah 3shan mashoofh. Lame.
Guy; is it lame?
5awla; not at all! Its really brave walla!
Guy; brave?
5awla; yes! To come here and watch her get married.
Guy; well I'm happy for her... Shu aswi y3nee life is unfair, enzen yalla w 89tch
5awla; well my story is similar to yours. A7b elm3rs but we're not meant to be too.
Guy; look at how lame we sound. Tra hmm el5sraanen walla.
5awla; you don't get it. He loved me back but they don't want us to be together and now I'm a moron sitting out here just to ignore the fact that he's in there with her.
I started to cry and he looked at me.
Guy; la tbchen 3ad, tra eldnya ma tswa. Kani jdamch, mt7ml w 9abr w 7bebti ma3 wa7d thani.
5awla; allah y3een but you sound like you're over her already
Guy; it happened a long time ago and were ok now but I just wanted to see her happy. So I came.
5awla; I wish I can get over it...
Guy; you will trust me. You'll forget about him.
5awla; kaif y3ne w ana agdr ashoofah kl ym3ah fe bait yadoo w ashoof shamma w ashoof 3yalhm b3d. Walla 8ahar.
Guy; 3ad 9eeri gwya, hal shay beedch, lw b'3aiti tnsainh btnsain enshallah.
I smiled and he smiled back.
5awla; thank you stranger.
He laughed
5awla; so I'm sure you're not emarati!
Guy; yeah , kuwaity.
5awla; knt mt2da! Tbchen w entay.
Guy; mashay a7la 3n 7chena --.--
5awla; wna ma glt shay -.-
Guy; eee 7sbali b3d
We both laughed.
Guy; ma glteeli, shsmch?
5awla; ana esmi 5awla, w entah?
Guy; 3ad hay 5leeha sr.
5awla; 6a3 sr shu yalla 3ad gool
Guy; excuse me, mnjbr aseer.
I was about to say NOO DONT LEAVE ME! But wait, I don't even know him lol.
5awla; well it was nice talking to you tall tanned kuwaity stranger.
He smiled
Guy; yalla ma3a elsalama.
He was walking towards the parking lot but I couldn't. He was the only one who had the right words and felt what I felt even though he's over it, he went through it.
I started running with my 3baya and huge fstan underneath and my ka3ab.
5awla; entaaah kuwaity!
He turned around and stopped.
5awla; 3ad ystwi che trk"6ni wrak to the parking lot.
Guy; shb'3aiti -,-
5awla; naaaaaa7ees maleeee8 3la gooltkm
He leaned behind his car and looked at me.
5awla; LOOK this is really weird and what I'm about to say would sound way wrong but atleast you're not local eiy?
Guy: bring it on.
5awla; I think I need your number, I can give you mine, you're a person I can talk to.
I looked down and he was laughing his ass off.
Guy; tr8meeni ya m3wda!
He couldn't stop laughing.
5awla; never mind
I wanted to head back inside and never see his face again. What did I just do. Am I that stupid? Asking a stranger for his number and giving him mine just because he made me feel secure and calm.
I started walking slowly but then...
Guy: 5awlaaaa!
I turned back,,
Guy: tlfoonch?
5awla; why?
Guy: 36eeni eyah shway
I ggave him my phone without hesitating, WHAT ARE YOU DOING KHAWLA?
He typed something and then gave it back to me.
I looked at my phone and there it was, his name and number.
Guy: I miscalled myself to have ur number too.
I smiled.
5awla; tshrfna 7aidar.
7aidar; tshrfna 5awla.
And we both smiled again.
28 July 2012
24 July 2012
O&k 15
3mair; 5awlaa bs 3ad t3bt wna ark'6 wyach *laughing*
5awla; 5ala9 trak kbrt w 3yzt wna b3dni feeni 7ail
3mair; ely ygool 3mri 50 snh ela 20
5awla; 7ta law you're still old -.-
3mair; ana arawech mno elold
I picked her up and ran around like a stupid kid
She was laughing and laughing and laughing. She even teared from all the laughing.
5awla; nzlnii 3mair walla b6ni bynfjr
3mair; mno el old?
5awla; entaa
3mair; ana? Matooben? Tbaini adwrch elpark klh y3ne
I raised my eyebrows and placed my hands on her cheeks.
She looked at me and I looked at her for 30 seconds without moving my eyes.
5awla; shu
3mair; mtnana
5awla; SHU! Hhdni 3mair nzlni -.-
3mair; a9ln a7la
5awla; chub walla tnzlni, a5af eydk t3wrk mn MTNI :)
3mair; hahaha balach 5awool , atm95r walla
5awla; enzen yalla nzlni , 36sht
3mair; enzen enser na5th water?
5awla: w ice cream?
3mair; btmten zyadah che mb shay
She slapped my shoulders and started walking as fast as she can to the man selling water, chips, chocolate, ice cream, etc.
I started laughing and chased her
3mair; 5awlaa!
5awla; na3am
3mair; a7b al3wzch shu aswi
5awla; wa'67 -_-
3mair; yalla ay ice cream tbain
5awla; ma bgoolk ba5th bro7i -.- goom b3eed
She pushed me
I grabbed her hands w dzaitha waray
3mair: baba yreed thnaina ice cream kakaw w thnaina may
Ylst tt7r6m waray w tsbni sab wna mswlha akbar 6aff
3mair; kam?
Hindi; 15 dhs
I gave him the money and handed 5awool the bag.
5awla; wshdarak aba chocoalate y3ne
3mair; kaif shdrani? Ana 3mair
5awla; w shu y3ne
3mair; a3rfch
I winked.
She smiled.
-----
Shamma; ya waily ya waily! Bythb7haa w bythb7ni! Mat9l lain al7een akeed m39b!
Dana; ya allah shamoo haddi tra 3mair wayd open minded w cool
3afra; open minded raylch! Ma shfti kaif ywdha w d5lha elsyarah
Dana; y3ne aked byw9lha elbait
Shamma; w lw ubooha shafha, walla bamoot. Galby shwei w bywgf. Shu bygol 3ni a7enh!
3afra; shamoo may59ch! Lw s2lna bngol n7na we planned w b3dain knti labsa 3dl. 7ta sh3rch m'36tnh
Dana; hayh 9a7 kalam 3afoor!
Shamma; ufff brood feekm! Ana bt9l feeh
Dana jumped out of her place and grabbed shamma's phone!
Dana; enty habla? Maynoona? 5dya?
Shamma; 36eeni tailfooni! Aba aklmh!
Dana; 3afoor fhmeha tra bnjl6 , mat3rf 3mair!
3afra sat next to shamma, placed her hand around her shoulders
3afra; esm3i ya shamma ya 7beebti. Raylch ensan 39bi w may7b 7d yklmh w hoo m39b. Y3ne akeed a7enh lw et9lna feh bybhdlna w byg63na w b3dain tra klh wla 3mri. Mar'6a ysbni jdamkm (a) w shay thani tra 3mair mst7eel yrd 3laich.
Shamma; y3ne shu aswi 3afoor plz golele
3afra; ana agoolch 7ayati, fri eltailfoon w t3ali 5lna nakl pizz.
Shamma pushed 3afra away
Shamma; seeri kli pizza broo7ch, ana fe 7alah wnti fe 7alah.
Dana; UFFF tra bayekm kaff , 5ala9 ya5i lw3tu chbdi bs bs bs!
3afra; goomu dano 5lna nseer nakl pizza w 5leha t9e7 hay hni broo7ha
Shamma stood behind the door
Shamma; walla ma t6l3oon! Klmu 3mair
Dana; rdainaaa?!!!! Ya allah ya kareeem
3afra; t3ali danoo b6li eltv maba asm3 9ootha
shamma; a7sn -.-
--------
*5awla*
I was very happy, I can't even explain or describe what I'm feeling.
Were here , alone, no one is judging. Nobody knows that I'm 5awla and he's 3mair. I wish it could be like this forever. Me, him, and strangers that don't judge.
I keep looking at him and he keeps looking at me. I'm scared that this moment will end soon w ana ma shb3t mn shoofth. Were walking, hand by hand, he's telling me stories about jam3th w t59'9h wna asm3 w a'67k.
3mair; y3ne shu aswi a7eenh? Akml engineering wla?
5awla; shoof ana a7s engineering. You're smart, you can pass it with high grades bs its not your thing. Mn youm wnth 9'3eer etgol tba tstwi a doctor.
3mair; 5ayf 5awool tra mb shay shl
5awla; walla adri 3mair! Bs hal shay 6moo7k w a7lamk. T7eed youm kna nl3b awnh ana mree'6a w bamoot wnth eldector ely by3yshni!
3mair; walla ayaam.
5awla; edrs 6b.
He looked at me, came close, kissed my forehead, and smiled.
3mair; enshallah.
I grabbed his hands and looked into his eyes.
5awla; m7d et9l feek?
3mair; mdri
5awla; aked ys2lon 3na now
3mair; mayhmni
He was pulling me back and it was so dark that I couldn't see where he was taking me or if I was going to step over something. I was walking backwards , facing him.
Suddenly, my back touches a huge tree.
He touches my hands and I can feel him staring at me.
5awla; 5lna enrd elbait.
3mair; laish
I felt his breathe, I was going to dye.
My knees were going to bail on me and make me fall but I was strong.
5awla: mdri
It was hot, really hot. I was sweating, I couldn't even move.
3mair; 5awla
5awla; hmm
3mair; 5awool
5awla; na3am
3mair; aba aswi feech jremah.
He kissed my ears and I nearly fainted.
Jreemah?
What?
I was so scared. I trust him but he looks creepy.
I pushed him away and placed my hands on his face.
5awla; take me home.
3mair; maba 5awla!
5awla; please 3mair
3mair; ufffff at'3fr allah w atoob elayh.
He got mad. I don't care, what he's doing is wrong. No matter hwo much I wanted it or how much I loved him, its wrong.
5awla; et9l fe shamma , akeed t7atek?
3mair; emshy jdami emshy
5awla; la tklmi che 3mair!
3mair; agolch emshy!
5awla; lazm t39b w you ruin my mood! Malait tra, kl ma ystwi shay t39b mb 7alah hay
3mair; laish enty t5len elwa7d ystans
5awla; shu tbani aswi y3ne? Ely swaitah '3l6
3mair; '3l6 wla 9a7 , laish etebn 6areha?
5awla; 6ariii 7rmtk?
3mair; 5awla!
5awla; 7rmtk? Is it that bad? Shamma? Is it that annoying?
3mair; ya raabi
5awla; uff mnk tra lazm tt8bl elwa83 :)
3mair; 3aybnch elwa83, tbain tftkain mni?
5awla; hayh '3ayer kalami a7eenh
3mair; goomi emshi jdami 5leni aw9lch
5awla; a7sn!
I walked and he was behind me. I hate him.
------
*In the car*
*3mair*
Reminding me that I have a wife is painful. Its like there is this other person that I have to think about before doing anything with my life. Its like I have someone to worry about and keep calling to see if everything is okay.
I don't like it, I like to feel free and dependent. Especially when I have no feelings for that person. I can ask about her, I can take care of her, I can watch her but I can't love her. My heart has fell inlove already before meeting her. My heart is still inlove.
She was queit, she looked at the window without even making any noise.
I took my phone and called the famous shamma.
3mair; halla shamma
I can see her moving her head slowly to look at me after hearing shamma's name.
3mair; ely swaitooh klkm '3l6!
3mair; adri adrti knti mt'36yah w 5breni bs ely wyach....
3mair; enzen t9b7en 3la 5air.
I threw my fone behind the back seat.
5awla; a39abk w b3dain kaif tgool " ely wyach "
3mair; laish glt shay '3l6
5awla; walla tra may59k feeni w la trms 3ni 3nd 7rmtk
3mair; 7rmti w kaify, brms 3n ely abah wyaha :)
5awla; 3nad?
3mair; 3nad wla mb 3nad, kaify.
5awla; trak ..
3mair; trani shu? Arjooch kmli..
5awla; wala shay :)
------
After 1 year...
Shamma; mama tra walla ha klh wayd! A7s b6ee7 wna a7awl amshi to the kosha!
Um shamma; mb wayd wla shay! Enty 3aroos 5alaa9!
Dana; shammoo a7la 3aroos a7lflch!
Shamma; WALLA? Uff danoo thnx!! A7bch!!
3afra: bs 5lh y3dloon sh3rch shway, 5rbth umch -.-
Shamma; ok ezgri lavita 5lha ete et3dl
3afra: laviita! Laavitaa! Come please!
5awla; lavita rw7t.
3afra: wayh wnti laish yalsa fl '6alam! Nshy b3d shwei bnnzl nslm!
5awla; yalla bs b3dl lbsi.
3afra; ka2eebh ka2eebh -.- ebtsmai enzen walla ma bystwi shay.
To be continued.
-----
I hope you enjoyed it. I love you all! Thnx for waiting!
- Shamma
5awla; 5ala9 trak kbrt w 3yzt wna b3dni feeni 7ail
3mair; ely ygool 3mri 50 snh ela 20
5awla; 7ta law you're still old -.-
3mair; ana arawech mno elold
I picked her up and ran around like a stupid kid
She was laughing and laughing and laughing. She even teared from all the laughing.
5awla; nzlnii 3mair walla b6ni bynfjr
3mair; mno el old?
5awla; entaa
3mair; ana? Matooben? Tbaini adwrch elpark klh y3ne
I raised my eyebrows and placed my hands on her cheeks.
She looked at me and I looked at her for 30 seconds without moving my eyes.
5awla; shu
3mair; mtnana
5awla; SHU! Hhdni 3mair nzlni -.-
3mair; a9ln a7la
5awla; chub walla tnzlni, a5af eydk t3wrk mn MTNI :)
3mair; hahaha balach 5awool , atm95r walla
5awla; enzen yalla nzlni , 36sht
3mair; enzen enser na5th water?
5awla: w ice cream?
3mair; btmten zyadah che mb shay
She slapped my shoulders and started walking as fast as she can to the man selling water, chips, chocolate, ice cream, etc.
I started laughing and chased her
3mair; 5awlaa!
5awla; na3am
3mair; a7b al3wzch shu aswi
5awla; wa'67 -_-
3mair; yalla ay ice cream tbain
5awla; ma bgoolk ba5th bro7i -.- goom b3eed
She pushed me
I grabbed her hands w dzaitha waray
3mair: baba yreed thnaina ice cream kakaw w thnaina may
Ylst tt7r6m waray w tsbni sab wna mswlha akbar 6aff
3mair; kam?
Hindi; 15 dhs
I gave him the money and handed 5awool the bag.
5awla; wshdarak aba chocoalate y3ne
3mair; kaif shdrani? Ana 3mair
5awla; w shu y3ne
3mair; a3rfch
I winked.
She smiled.
-----
Shamma; ya waily ya waily! Bythb7haa w bythb7ni! Mat9l lain al7een akeed m39b!
Dana; ya allah shamoo haddi tra 3mair wayd open minded w cool
3afra; open minded raylch! Ma shfti kaif ywdha w d5lha elsyarah
Dana; y3ne aked byw9lha elbait
Shamma; w lw ubooha shafha, walla bamoot. Galby shwei w bywgf. Shu bygol 3ni a7enh!
3afra; shamoo may59ch! Lw s2lna bngol n7na we planned w b3dain knti labsa 3dl. 7ta sh3rch m'36tnh
Dana; hayh 9a7 kalam 3afoor!
Shamma; ufff brood feekm! Ana bt9l feeh
Dana jumped out of her place and grabbed shamma's phone!
Dana; enty habla? Maynoona? 5dya?
Shamma; 36eeni tailfooni! Aba aklmh!
Dana; 3afoor fhmeha tra bnjl6 , mat3rf 3mair!
3afra sat next to shamma, placed her hand around her shoulders
3afra; esm3i ya shamma ya 7beebti. Raylch ensan 39bi w may7b 7d yklmh w hoo m39b. Y3ne akeed a7enh lw et9lna feh bybhdlna w byg63na w b3dain tra klh wla 3mri. Mar'6a ysbni jdamkm (a) w shay thani tra 3mair mst7eel yrd 3laich.
Shamma; y3ne shu aswi 3afoor plz golele
3afra; ana agoolch 7ayati, fri eltailfoon w t3ali 5lna nakl pizz.
Shamma pushed 3afra away
Shamma; seeri kli pizza broo7ch, ana fe 7alah wnti fe 7alah.
Dana; UFFF tra bayekm kaff , 5ala9 ya5i lw3tu chbdi bs bs bs!
3afra; goomu dano 5lna nseer nakl pizza w 5leha t9e7 hay hni broo7ha
Shamma stood behind the door
Shamma; walla ma t6l3oon! Klmu 3mair
Dana; rdainaaa?!!!! Ya allah ya kareeem
3afra; t3ali danoo b6li eltv maba asm3 9ootha
shamma; a7sn -.-
--------
*5awla*
I was very happy, I can't even explain or describe what I'm feeling.
Were here , alone, no one is judging. Nobody knows that I'm 5awla and he's 3mair. I wish it could be like this forever. Me, him, and strangers that don't judge.
I keep looking at him and he keeps looking at me. I'm scared that this moment will end soon w ana ma shb3t mn shoofth. Were walking, hand by hand, he's telling me stories about jam3th w t59'9h wna asm3 w a'67k.
3mair; y3ne shu aswi a7eenh? Akml engineering wla?
5awla; shoof ana a7s engineering. You're smart, you can pass it with high grades bs its not your thing. Mn youm wnth 9'3eer etgol tba tstwi a doctor.
3mair; 5ayf 5awool tra mb shay shl
5awla; walla adri 3mair! Bs hal shay 6moo7k w a7lamk. T7eed youm kna nl3b awnh ana mree'6a w bamoot wnth eldector ely by3yshni!
3mair; walla ayaam.
5awla; edrs 6b.
He looked at me, came close, kissed my forehead, and smiled.
3mair; enshallah.
I grabbed his hands and looked into his eyes.
5awla; m7d et9l feek?
3mair; mdri
5awla; aked ys2lon 3na now
3mair; mayhmni
He was pulling me back and it was so dark that I couldn't see where he was taking me or if I was going to step over something. I was walking backwards , facing him.
Suddenly, my back touches a huge tree.
He touches my hands and I can feel him staring at me.
5awla; 5lna enrd elbait.
3mair; laish
I felt his breathe, I was going to dye.
My knees were going to bail on me and make me fall but I was strong.
5awla: mdri
It was hot, really hot. I was sweating, I couldn't even move.
3mair; 5awla
5awla; hmm
3mair; 5awool
5awla; na3am
3mair; aba aswi feech jremah.
He kissed my ears and I nearly fainted.
Jreemah?
What?
I was so scared. I trust him but he looks creepy.
I pushed him away and placed my hands on his face.
5awla; take me home.
3mair; maba 5awla!
5awla; please 3mair
3mair; ufffff at'3fr allah w atoob elayh.
He got mad. I don't care, what he's doing is wrong. No matter hwo much I wanted it or how much I loved him, its wrong.
5awla; et9l fe shamma , akeed t7atek?
3mair; emshy jdami emshy
5awla; la tklmi che 3mair!
3mair; agolch emshy!
5awla; lazm t39b w you ruin my mood! Malait tra, kl ma ystwi shay t39b mb 7alah hay
3mair; laish enty t5len elwa7d ystans
5awla; shu tbani aswi y3ne? Ely swaitah '3l6
3mair; '3l6 wla 9a7 , laish etebn 6areha?
5awla; 6ariii 7rmtk?
3mair; 5awla!
5awla; 7rmtk? Is it that bad? Shamma? Is it that annoying?
3mair; ya raabi
5awla; uff mnk tra lazm tt8bl elwa83 :)
3mair; 3aybnch elwa83, tbain tftkain mni?
5awla; hayh '3ayer kalami a7eenh
3mair; goomi emshi jdami 5leni aw9lch
5awla; a7sn!
I walked and he was behind me. I hate him.
------
*In the car*
*3mair*
Reminding me that I have a wife is painful. Its like there is this other person that I have to think about before doing anything with my life. Its like I have someone to worry about and keep calling to see if everything is okay.
I don't like it, I like to feel free and dependent. Especially when I have no feelings for that person. I can ask about her, I can take care of her, I can watch her but I can't love her. My heart has fell inlove already before meeting her. My heart is still inlove.
She was queit, she looked at the window without even making any noise.
I took my phone and called the famous shamma.
3mair; halla shamma
I can see her moving her head slowly to look at me after hearing shamma's name.
3mair; ely swaitooh klkm '3l6!
3mair; adri adrti knti mt'36yah w 5breni bs ely wyach....
3mair; enzen t9b7en 3la 5air.
I threw my fone behind the back seat.
5awla; a39abk w b3dain kaif tgool " ely wyach "
3mair; laish glt shay '3l6
5awla; walla tra may59k feeni w la trms 3ni 3nd 7rmtk
3mair; 7rmti w kaify, brms 3n ely abah wyaha :)
5awla; 3nad?
3mair; 3nad wla mb 3nad, kaify.
5awla; trak ..
3mair; trani shu? Arjooch kmli..
5awla; wala shay :)
------
After 1 year...
Shamma; mama tra walla ha klh wayd! A7s b6ee7 wna a7awl amshi to the kosha!
Um shamma; mb wayd wla shay! Enty 3aroos 5alaa9!
Dana; shammoo a7la 3aroos a7lflch!
Shamma; WALLA? Uff danoo thnx!! A7bch!!
3afra: bs 5lh y3dloon sh3rch shway, 5rbth umch -.-
Shamma; ok ezgri lavita 5lha ete et3dl
3afra: laviita! Laavitaa! Come please!
5awla; lavita rw7t.
3afra: wayh wnti laish yalsa fl '6alam! Nshy b3d shwei bnnzl nslm!
5awla; yalla bs b3dl lbsi.
3afra; ka2eebh ka2eebh -.- ebtsmai enzen walla ma bystwi shay.
To be continued.
-----
I hope you enjoyed it. I love you all! Thnx for waiting!
- Shamma
15 July 2012
Hey...
Hello Readers,
Shamma is getting better day by day. She can finally move her hands normally without any sign of pain. She started writing post #15 and ill be posting as soon as I get the copy. Shamma has no internet acess so she writes posts and sends them to me by mail that's why it takes time to post.
* I LOVE YOU SHAMMO and I'm really proud that you didn't stop even though you're going through a lot!
- Meera (@MeeraMarri , her cousin)
Shamma is getting better day by day. She can finally move her hands normally without any sign of pain. She started writing post #15 and ill be posting as soon as I get the copy. Shamma has no internet acess so she writes posts and sends them to me by mail that's why it takes time to post.
* I LOVE YOU SHAMMO and I'm really proud that you didn't stop even though you're going through a lot!
- Meera (@MeeraMarri , her cousin)
27 June 2012
O&K 14
Next day * At Grandma's house *
I was staring at these beautiful statues they've got. They come from a wealthy family mashalla. Even though 3mair is young , heve got things that I can benefit from and we can live by.
I'm so happy that I finally found my man, I've been waiting for so long.
My heart wasn't broken once or twice , it got broken by many people.
Family, friends, boyfriends, and more. Even strangers.
I can't describe myself as pretty
I'm average.
I have the curves
I have the smile
I have the personality
But I lack confidence
I give everything but I rarely get back. I want to settle down , to start a family , to be loved and to love back.
3mair is the one. I feel it, I know it.
I smiled to myself and felt my fone vibrating
It was him
My face shined.
Shamma; good morning!
3mair; ahlain!
Oh his sleepy voice ~
Shamma; how are u?
3mair; sleepy
I giggled and he giggled too.
Shamma; well were going to wild wadi today
3mair; what? Today? I think m5tl6
Shamma; ya I knw
3mair; what do u mean u know , go tommorow.
Shamma; mb 3a kaify 3mair, elbanat yboon elyoum.
3mair; enzen elbsi shay y'36i sh3rch w jsmch.
Shamma; enshallah:$
3mair; hmm mno sayr bl'6b6?
Shamma; dana w 3afra w 5awla.
3mair; 5awla?
Shamma; ya 5awla a'6ni
3mair; aha enzen yalla bye , have fun
And he quickly closed.
Uffffff , we didn't even got time to talk. I hate this!
-------
5awla; IM TELLING U IM NOT GOING!
Dana; u suggested it 5awool!
3afra; COMMON! It will be fun
5awla; w b3dain its mixed today, my dad will kill me.
Dana; so what! Its not like u haven't lied to him about this.
5awla; what! Shu t5rfen dana? I didn't lie, I went because of 3ma--
And then I stopped.
They looked at me
3afra: and his name appears again.
Dana; well too bad , he's not coming today :)
5awla; well too bad I'm not swimming ill be sitting watching u
Dana: that is boring 5awla!
3afra; really 5awol? Are u shy?
5awla; shy wayhch, I don't feel like swimming. I have my period.
Dana; bullshit
3afra; go die 5awla, t3ali dano let's pick the sexiest swim suit!
Dana; yeah -.-
They gave me the look and went to the dressing room.
5awla; UFFFFFFF I hate u guyz.
Yes I don't want to go now because I don't feel comfortable. I don't like people staring at me especially men.
Gbl kan '3air, gbl they wouldn't dare to look at 5awla. He was with me
He held my hand
He watched over me
He led the way
Now he's not here
And I wouldn't dare. It doesn't feel right. It just doesn't.
I layed down on my bed and looked at the ceiling.
Grabbed my phone and went through all the chats. I have tons but one caught my eye.
3mair Alx;
La tseren wyahm.
What?!! Is he serious? Why should I listen to him.
5awool *??:
Na3am?
3mair Alx:
La tseren.
5awool *??:
Lool you're funny.
3mair Alx;
Too bad , I don't find this funny at all. I'm not asking you , I'm ordering you.
5awool *??;
I think you have your own wife to order around.
3mair Alx;
Ana glt ely 3ndi w enty t3rfen shu tswen
WHAT THE HELL!
I threw my fone and hollered
5awla; GET ME THE SEXIEST MOST GORGEOUS SWIM SUIT!
Dana; what?
3afra; YAAAAY 5awool is back!
I smiled. If he really wanna play this game , its fucking on babe.
Dana; pink or purple?
5awla; white!
3afra; yes yes white!
Dana: shu white! I don't like it
5awla; give it to me -.- bsr3h were late.
I grabbed the suit and headed inside the bathroom.
I kept thinking that its wrong. Don't do it 5awla. Go back to the bedroom. Wear your shorts and get over it.
But ana ensanah 3needa. Ma7b 7d y2mrni w 59oo9n 7d may59h feeni:)
-----
Shamma; I don't think 3mair will like it.
Dana; what! He won't even see us! Don't worry!
Shamma; what if he came?
3afra; why would he:s?
Shamma; idk I'm worried!
5awla; were here!
I jumped out of the car, put on my chanel sunglasses
Covered my body with a see through black cloth and headed inside.
The place was filled.
It was filled filled with hot americans
And disgusting 5leji's who won't stop flirting with every girl they pass by.
I took a seat and watched kids laughing. Mothers screaming. Men fooling around.
I loved the view.
U can see burj el araab
And its amazing! I think I'm gonna be enjoying today.
But suddenly....
Someone taps my back...
3mair; why are u here exactly?
Shamma; HES HERE! :O I TOLD YOU!
Dana; SHIT!
3afra; where where!
Shamma; there! Right next to 5awla !!
Dana: why is here 3afoor!
3afra; shdrani la -.- mtfyj ha
Shamma: omg! I think he looks angry
Dana; why and 5awol looks frustrated.
Shamma; he should be -.- look at what she's wearing.
----
*dana*
Shamma; he should be -.- look at what she's wearing.
I looked at 3afra b3d klamha, shu 89dha? Klh wla 5awool. She can't judge her.
3afra; she looks stunning. May59h hoo
Shamma; I know I know but he has the right to be mad , its a bad image.
Dana: no its not! He has to care about u and only u!
Shamma; calm down!
3afra; let's go!
-----
*5awla*
5awla; why are you here?
3mair; answer my question
5awla; answer mine.
3mair; 5awla!
He grabbed the chair and took a seat. He couldn't handle seeing me talk back at him. He never liked it.
3mair; mywd 3mri jdam elnass tra w b3dain shu labsa.
5awla; shu y59k ya5i 9dg f'6ool w rzh.
3mair: 5awlaaaaa!
I got scared.
I stood up but he grabbed me from my arms and pulled me wrah.
----
*3mair*
She looked aaah I don't know. Amazing. Her body is just gorgeous.
I can keep looking at her without even blinking.
She's killing me.
She can't share this with everyone. I feel like its my property. She belongs to me.
I don't know what I'm saying or what am I even doing but I couldn't.
I couldn't handle the fact that men could be watching her and thinking about her.
5awla; Hdniii ufffff
3mair; dshi elsayarah!
5awla; ma bdsh hdni!
3mair; DSHI!
He pushed me inside and closed the door.
He got into the front seat and drived as fast as he can
5awla; s5eef
Ignore 3mair.
5awla; fe kl shay yba ytd5l.
---
*5awla*
My arm is hurting me!
He pushed me into the car like I'm his dog.
He's taking me to I wonder where.
5awla; 5ays!
I kept cursing and curisng and all he did was 6aff me.
I hate being ignored.
Hate it hate it.
5awla; NZLNIIIIIIIIIIII
3mair; eskti! Mmkn tfhmeni shu labsa.
I looked at my body. I knew It was wrong. I felt like a bitch.
But he pushed me there. Why does he care? Why does he give a fuck what I do?
I kept queit.
3mair; ha fhmeni wla mat3rfen shu tgoolen. El9ra7h 9dmteni.
He looked at me and I looked down.
3mair; yalla enzli.
I looked around and It was that same park we were in back then.
I smiled
He gave me a hodie and I placed it on.
I ran like a child. This place is so special u can't imagine how.
5awla; OMG 3maaait tt'thkr hal shay!
He laughed and laughed. He stood there.
I grabbed his hand and I made him run with me.
I forgot why I was mad.
I forgot everything.
I focused on the moment were sharing right now.
I was staring at these beautiful statues they've got. They come from a wealthy family mashalla. Even though 3mair is young , heve got things that I can benefit from and we can live by.
I'm so happy that I finally found my man, I've been waiting for so long.
My heart wasn't broken once or twice , it got broken by many people.
Family, friends, boyfriends, and more. Even strangers.
I can't describe myself as pretty
I'm average.
I have the curves
I have the smile
I have the personality
But I lack confidence
I give everything but I rarely get back. I want to settle down , to start a family , to be loved and to love back.
3mair is the one. I feel it, I know it.
I smiled to myself and felt my fone vibrating
It was him
My face shined.
Shamma; good morning!
3mair; ahlain!
Oh his sleepy voice ~
Shamma; how are u?
3mair; sleepy
I giggled and he giggled too.
Shamma; well were going to wild wadi today
3mair; what? Today? I think m5tl6
Shamma; ya I knw
3mair; what do u mean u know , go tommorow.
Shamma; mb 3a kaify 3mair, elbanat yboon elyoum.
3mair; enzen elbsi shay y'36i sh3rch w jsmch.
Shamma; enshallah:$
3mair; hmm mno sayr bl'6b6?
Shamma; dana w 3afra w 5awla.
3mair; 5awla?
Shamma; ya 5awla a'6ni
3mair; aha enzen yalla bye , have fun
And he quickly closed.
Uffffff , we didn't even got time to talk. I hate this!
-------
5awla; IM TELLING U IM NOT GOING!
Dana; u suggested it 5awool!
3afra; COMMON! It will be fun
5awla; w b3dain its mixed today, my dad will kill me.
Dana; so what! Its not like u haven't lied to him about this.
5awla; what! Shu t5rfen dana? I didn't lie, I went because of 3ma--
And then I stopped.
They looked at me
3afra: and his name appears again.
Dana; well too bad , he's not coming today :)
5awla; well too bad I'm not swimming ill be sitting watching u
Dana: that is boring 5awla!
3afra; really 5awol? Are u shy?
5awla; shy wayhch, I don't feel like swimming. I have my period.
Dana; bullshit
3afra; go die 5awla, t3ali dano let's pick the sexiest swim suit!
Dana; yeah -.-
They gave me the look and went to the dressing room.
5awla; UFFFFFFF I hate u guyz.
Yes I don't want to go now because I don't feel comfortable. I don't like people staring at me especially men.
Gbl kan '3air, gbl they wouldn't dare to look at 5awla. He was with me
He held my hand
He watched over me
He led the way
Now he's not here
And I wouldn't dare. It doesn't feel right. It just doesn't.
I layed down on my bed and looked at the ceiling.
Grabbed my phone and went through all the chats. I have tons but one caught my eye.
3mair Alx;
La tseren wyahm.
What?!! Is he serious? Why should I listen to him.
5awool *??:
Na3am?
3mair Alx:
La tseren.
5awool *??:
Lool you're funny.
3mair Alx;
Too bad , I don't find this funny at all. I'm not asking you , I'm ordering you.
5awool *??;
I think you have your own wife to order around.
3mair Alx;
Ana glt ely 3ndi w enty t3rfen shu tswen
WHAT THE HELL!
I threw my fone and hollered
5awla; GET ME THE SEXIEST MOST GORGEOUS SWIM SUIT!
Dana; what?
3afra; YAAAAY 5awool is back!
I smiled. If he really wanna play this game , its fucking on babe.
Dana; pink or purple?
5awla; white!
3afra; yes yes white!
Dana: shu white! I don't like it
5awla; give it to me -.- bsr3h were late.
I grabbed the suit and headed inside the bathroom.
I kept thinking that its wrong. Don't do it 5awla. Go back to the bedroom. Wear your shorts and get over it.
But ana ensanah 3needa. Ma7b 7d y2mrni w 59oo9n 7d may59h feeni:)
-----
Shamma; I don't think 3mair will like it.
Dana; what! He won't even see us! Don't worry!
Shamma; what if he came?
3afra; why would he:s?
Shamma; idk I'm worried!
5awla; were here!
I jumped out of the car, put on my chanel sunglasses
Covered my body with a see through black cloth and headed inside.
The place was filled.
It was filled filled with hot americans
And disgusting 5leji's who won't stop flirting with every girl they pass by.
I took a seat and watched kids laughing. Mothers screaming. Men fooling around.
I loved the view.
U can see burj el araab
And its amazing! I think I'm gonna be enjoying today.
But suddenly....
Someone taps my back...
3mair; why are u here exactly?
Shamma; HES HERE! :O I TOLD YOU!
Dana; SHIT!
3afra; where where!
Shamma; there! Right next to 5awla !!
Dana: why is here 3afoor!
3afra; shdrani la -.- mtfyj ha
Shamma: omg! I think he looks angry
Dana; why and 5awol looks frustrated.
Shamma; he should be -.- look at what she's wearing.
----
*dana*
Shamma; he should be -.- look at what she's wearing.
I looked at 3afra b3d klamha, shu 89dha? Klh wla 5awool. She can't judge her.
3afra; she looks stunning. May59h hoo
Shamma; I know I know but he has the right to be mad , its a bad image.
Dana: no its not! He has to care about u and only u!
Shamma; calm down!
3afra; let's go!
-----
*5awla*
5awla; why are you here?
3mair; answer my question
5awla; answer mine.
3mair; 5awla!
He grabbed the chair and took a seat. He couldn't handle seeing me talk back at him. He never liked it.
3mair; mywd 3mri jdam elnass tra w b3dain shu labsa.
5awla; shu y59k ya5i 9dg f'6ool w rzh.
3mair: 5awlaaaaa!
I got scared.
I stood up but he grabbed me from my arms and pulled me wrah.
----
*3mair*
She looked aaah I don't know. Amazing. Her body is just gorgeous.
I can keep looking at her without even blinking.
She's killing me.
She can't share this with everyone. I feel like its my property. She belongs to me.
I don't know what I'm saying or what am I even doing but I couldn't.
I couldn't handle the fact that men could be watching her and thinking about her.
5awla; Hdniii ufffff
3mair; dshi elsayarah!
5awla; ma bdsh hdni!
3mair; DSHI!
He pushed me inside and closed the door.
He got into the front seat and drived as fast as he can
5awla; s5eef
Ignore 3mair.
5awla; fe kl shay yba ytd5l.
---
*5awla*
My arm is hurting me!
He pushed me into the car like I'm his dog.
He's taking me to I wonder where.
5awla; 5ays!
I kept cursing and curisng and all he did was 6aff me.
I hate being ignored.
Hate it hate it.
5awla; NZLNIIIIIIIIIIII
3mair; eskti! Mmkn tfhmeni shu labsa.
I looked at my body. I knew It was wrong. I felt like a bitch.
But he pushed me there. Why does he care? Why does he give a fuck what I do?
I kept queit.
3mair; ha fhmeni wla mat3rfen shu tgoolen. El9ra7h 9dmteni.
He looked at me and I looked down.
3mair; yalla enzli.
I looked around and It was that same park we were in back then.
I smiled
He gave me a hodie and I placed it on.
I ran like a child. This place is so special u can't imagine how.
5awla; OMG 3maaait tt'thkr hal shay!
He laughed and laughed. He stood there.
I grabbed his hand and I made him run with me.
I forgot why I was mad.
I forgot everything.
I focused on the moment were sharing right now.
18 June 2012
O&K 13
I apologize, not the best post but i promise ill keep writing!
Enjoy :*
---
*3mair*
She was sitting right there between my future wife and my cousin.
I looked at her and she looked the other way. I never planned on hurting her that much. I've never thought that she was attached to me hal kthr.
Shamma; btrw7 7beebi?
3mair; hayh b'3aity shay?
Shamma; t3al eeyls wyana shwei
She smiled and I smiled back.
Dana moved w swtli mkan next to shamma.
She grabbed my hand and started talking with a wide smile
The problem is that I couldn't listen. I was too busy looking at her while she was staring down at her fingers.
Shamma; yooh 3mair aklm mnu ana
3mair; sorry sr7t, shu?
Shamma; 3afra etgool 9ootk wayd 7loo
Dana; haaayh! E7lfi ma sm3ch 9ooth tra walla y5bl
Shamma; t9dgoon ma sm3ni wna 56eebth
3afra; yaalla '3nlha 3maair
Dana; hayh hayh!
*5awla*
Why do my cousins have to be so cruel like that? '3neelha? Really 3afra? Really dana? Do you guyz think that I can bare listening to him singing to shamma?
I stood up and excused myself
5awla; bser bshrb may
Shamma; la shu! Leaving when 3mair is about to sing! Ylsi w hach may!
She gave me a bottle of water and I cursed.
He looked at me and I rolled my eyes.
No, I don't want to hear him sing
No, I'm not ok with her being close to him
Is that weird? Am I overreacting?
Dana; yalla 5awool! By'3ni elrayal.
3mair; shu tbaini a'3ni shamma.
Shamma; mdri 7beebi ay shay.
3afra; enth '3air elnass 3ndi mal rashed elmajed.
My heart melted. That song was OUR favorite song. I can't stay here anymore
5awla; no no I hate that song.
Dana; what! BULLSHIT! Its ur fav song!
5awla; who said?
Dana; you did -.-
5awla; I di dnt..
3mair; e7m
He grabbed the guitar mn wrah and started singing
3mair; enth '3air elnass 3ndi enty 3ndi shay kbeer kaif b9br wna shayf nass mn 7oolk ktheer...
He kept staring at me
I wanted to kick his face.
3mair; ana a7bk w agolha lk klma 5leha fe balk wna mani ay 3ashg ana lama a3shg a'3eer walla lama a3shg a'3eer.
Shamma; seriously 3mair?! That was wow!
Dana; 5leeh y'3neelch shammo 3l stage fl 3rs
3afra; EPIC!
3mair; bskm entu. L3wztu el7rma aked fe 5a6rha etgol " shu myslni wya hal 5day"
Dana; 3n el'3l6 3maair -.-
3afra; m9dg 3mrh el2a5, yalla bara3 , sleepover mal banat bs
Shamma laughed and 3mair rolled his eyes.
He stood up and was about to leave but she stood up too and rk'6t wraaah.
The door closed and they all stared at me.
5awla; SHUUUUU!
Dana; s5eefh
3afra; habla
Dana; m3aaa8aa!
3afra; '3abya!
5awla; bal bal bal kaltooni, shu na3am 5air
3afra; n'6ratch 5leha 7g 3mrch ok? Tra elbnt mskeena
Dana; I agree
5awla; go die. I give looks bdoon ma7s.
Dana; chub. Walla shklh ma y7bha -.- 7araaaam!
3afra; don't say that habla!
Dana; its the truth
3afra; y3ne shu tboonhm ykonon foog b3'6 3shan ybynoon 7g elshai5a dana enhm inlove?
Dana; NO I don't see sparks.
5awla; please bs, can we stop talking about them? Roo7h bla radah enshallah.
Dana; 5awool shu raych enseer wild wadi bachr?!
5awla; yaaaa ybalna en'3yr jaw
3afra; weere inviting shamma too
5awla; ur new best friend?
Dana; hahahahah
3afra; t'3aaraain??
5awla; haha '67kteni ana a'3ar mnha laish?
---
*shamma*
Shamma; wait 3mair
He turned around and smiled
3mair; halla
I came closer to him and hugged him.
He was shocked but he hugged me back.
I felt warmth and love.
I think I'm starting to fall for this perfect man.
I raised my head and looked at him
Looked into his eyes..
Shamma; your eyes are honey
3mair; honey?
He laaughed,
Shamma; I mean the color -.-
I blushed and looked down.
He kissed my head
3mair; yalla rdi da5l b3dain bt9l fech.
Shamma; enshalla!:$
I runned back to the room like a kid.
I was happy , beyond happy.
Shamma; A7BHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Enjoy :*
---
*3mair*
She was sitting right there between my future wife and my cousin.
I looked at her and she looked the other way. I never planned on hurting her that much. I've never thought that she was attached to me hal kthr.
Shamma; btrw7 7beebi?
3mair; hayh b'3aity shay?
Shamma; t3al eeyls wyana shwei
She smiled and I smiled back.
Dana moved w swtli mkan next to shamma.
She grabbed my hand and started talking with a wide smile
The problem is that I couldn't listen. I was too busy looking at her while she was staring down at her fingers.
Shamma; yooh 3mair aklm mnu ana
3mair; sorry sr7t, shu?
Shamma; 3afra etgool 9ootk wayd 7loo
Dana; haaayh! E7lfi ma sm3ch 9ooth tra walla y5bl
Shamma; t9dgoon ma sm3ni wna 56eebth
3afra; yaalla '3nlha 3maair
Dana; hayh hayh!
*5awla*
Why do my cousins have to be so cruel like that? '3neelha? Really 3afra? Really dana? Do you guyz think that I can bare listening to him singing to shamma?
I stood up and excused myself
5awla; bser bshrb may
Shamma; la shu! Leaving when 3mair is about to sing! Ylsi w hach may!
She gave me a bottle of water and I cursed.
He looked at me and I rolled my eyes.
No, I don't want to hear him sing
No, I'm not ok with her being close to him
Is that weird? Am I overreacting?
Dana; yalla 5awool! By'3ni elrayal.
3mair; shu tbaini a'3ni shamma.
Shamma; mdri 7beebi ay shay.
3afra; enth '3air elnass 3ndi mal rashed elmajed.
My heart melted. That song was OUR favorite song. I can't stay here anymore
5awla; no no I hate that song.
Dana; what! BULLSHIT! Its ur fav song!
5awla; who said?
Dana; you did -.-
5awla; I di dnt..
3mair; e7m
He grabbed the guitar mn wrah and started singing
3mair; enth '3air elnass 3ndi enty 3ndi shay kbeer kaif b9br wna shayf nass mn 7oolk ktheer...
He kept staring at me
I wanted to kick his face.
3mair; ana a7bk w agolha lk klma 5leha fe balk wna mani ay 3ashg ana lama a3shg a'3eer walla lama a3shg a'3eer.
Shamma; seriously 3mair?! That was wow!
Dana; 5leeh y'3neelch shammo 3l stage fl 3rs
3afra; EPIC!
3mair; bskm entu. L3wztu el7rma aked fe 5a6rha etgol " shu myslni wya hal 5day"
Dana; 3n el'3l6 3maair -.-
3afra; m9dg 3mrh el2a5, yalla bara3 , sleepover mal banat bs
Shamma laughed and 3mair rolled his eyes.
He stood up and was about to leave but she stood up too and rk'6t wraaah.
The door closed and they all stared at me.
5awla; SHUUUUU!
Dana; s5eefh
3afra; habla
Dana; m3aaa8aa!
3afra; '3abya!
5awla; bal bal bal kaltooni, shu na3am 5air
3afra; n'6ratch 5leha 7g 3mrch ok? Tra elbnt mskeena
Dana; I agree
5awla; go die. I give looks bdoon ma7s.
Dana; chub. Walla shklh ma y7bha -.- 7araaaam!
3afra; don't say that habla!
Dana; its the truth
3afra; y3ne shu tboonhm ykonon foog b3'6 3shan ybynoon 7g elshai5a dana enhm inlove?
Dana; NO I don't see sparks.
5awla; please bs, can we stop talking about them? Roo7h bla radah enshallah.
Dana; 5awool shu raych enseer wild wadi bachr?!
5awla; yaaaa ybalna en'3yr jaw
3afra; weere inviting shamma too
5awla; ur new best friend?
Dana; hahahahah
3afra; t'3aaraain??
5awla; haha '67kteni ana a'3ar mnha laish?
---
*shamma*
Shamma; wait 3mair
He turned around and smiled
3mair; halla
I came closer to him and hugged him.
He was shocked but he hugged me back.
I felt warmth and love.
I think I'm starting to fall for this perfect man.
I raised my head and looked at him
Looked into his eyes..
Shamma; your eyes are honey
3mair; honey?
He laaughed,
Shamma; I mean the color -.-
I blushed and looked down.
He kissed my head
3mair; yalla rdi da5l b3dain bt9l fech.
Shamma; enshalla!:$
I runned back to the room like a kid.
I was happy , beyond happy.
Shamma; A7BHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
HEY!
Hello Everyone!!!!!
Ill be posting soon enshallah. Thank you for being so sweet and patient!
If you need anything or if you have any questions,
please dont hesitate to ask my cousin @MeeraMarri.
ill be sending her the posts and shell be posting them. so basically shell be the manager for a couple of months. I dont want you guyz to wait more so the blog will be updated by her.
I know im the worst blogger ever but bare with me.
I LOVE YOU! YOURE THE BEST!
Enshallah ill be back soon.
Ill be posting soon enshallah. Thank you for being so sweet and patient!
If you need anything or if you have any questions,
please dont hesitate to ask my cousin @MeeraMarri.
ill be sending her the posts and shell be posting them. so basically shell be the manager for a couple of months. I dont want you guyz to wait more so the blog will be updated by her.
I know im the worst blogger ever but bare with me.
I LOVE YOU! YOURE THE BEST!
Enshallah ill be back soon.
09 June 2012
ITS SHAMMA
Hello my lovely readers,
As you all know ive been through a major accident which had effected me mentally and physically. El7mdllah im recovering but ive got non-stop pain going all over my body.
I can TYPE and thats good. something to cheer me up!
My legs are in pain..
Im really bored out here in GERMANY with nothing to do
Sitting on the hospital bed and staring at a big boring TV. Ive requested to get a laptop and they agreed so HERE I AM!
Im planning to start a new page of life,
I dont really know what to wrtie for O&K's story, every plan i had in mind got vanished.
SO i dont know,
should i start writing a new story or try and complete O&K
I have a story in mind and thats great
Ive seen many things here and i can connect all the things ive seen to my story,
I think this might make my readers g mad since theyve waited alot for O&K's next post.
what do you think? new story or O&K?
Id like to thank my cousins, REEM AND MEERA, for always being there for me and helping me through everything.
I love you guyz!
xoxox
- Shamma
As you all know ive been through a major accident which had effected me mentally and physically. El7mdllah im recovering but ive got non-stop pain going all over my body.
I can TYPE and thats good. something to cheer me up!
My legs are in pain..
Im really bored out here in GERMANY with nothing to do
Sitting on the hospital bed and staring at a big boring TV. Ive requested to get a laptop and they agreed so HERE I AM!
Im planning to start a new page of life,
I dont really know what to wrtie for O&K's story, every plan i had in mind got vanished.
SO i dont know,
should i start writing a new story or try and complete O&K
I have a story in mind and thats great
Ive seen many things here and i can connect all the things ive seen to my story,
I think this might make my readers g mad since theyve waited alot for O&K's next post.
what do you think? new story or O&K?
Id like to thank my cousins, REEM AND MEERA, for always being there for me and helping me through everything.
I love you guyz!
xoxox
- Shamma
06 May 2012
Bad News...
Dear Readers,
Shamma, the owner and the writer of this blog, has been through a serious car accident which caused her to leave Dubai and go to Germany for medical reasons. I dont know when she will be able to write again, the treatment might take months.
Please ed3oolha...
- Reem (her cousin)
Shamma, the owner and the writer of this blog, has been through a serious car accident which caused her to leave Dubai and go to Germany for medical reasons. I dont know when she will be able to write again, the treatment might take months.
Please ed3oolha...
- Reem (her cousin)
12 April 2012
O&K 12
I stood up and started walking away with tears, I wish I had the strength to tell him about my true feeling! How I suffered without him , I learned the hard way. I learned how to put myself back into the society with a confident personality and a brave heart.
I've always been the girl that's being laughed at or the girl that's getting bullied at school.
At the end of the day, I would go to that place behind his house and he'd meet me there. We'd talk about my problems and he'd find a way to make me smile.
That place still exists but the problem is that were no longer the same people. We've changed and that place has been left behind with memories and only memories.
I try to stop the tears , I try to remain strong , but trying is not good enough right now.
I have to BITCH up and be that "IT GIRL"
I can't be innocent 5awla anymore, innocent 5awla is all about heart break and tears. I'm done with that!
I looked at myself and I don't like the way my eyes are puffed and the way my nose is all red.
-----
She left me and walked away, what I heard from her was a bit heart breaking.
I'm happy she's happy but am I really THAT happy?
I don't want her to smile when I'm not around! I don't want her to glow when I'm missing!
I can be selfish bs that's just me. She knows I'm Mr.Selfish but I can't change it.
Her loves makes me selfish.
M7md appeared and sat next to me
M7md; and how did that go
3mair; idk 7mood , she seems okay.
M7md; ya , and how are u feeling?
3mair; you're not gonna like the answer to that question
M7md; bring it! I can handle it
He laughed and I sighed
3mair; I miss her 7mood, I want to take her into my arms and smile mn kl galby
M7md; enzeen yal 3ashg , goom 7rmtk ttryak da5l
3mair; 7rmtk?
M7md; bs abak t7s how serious and real shamma is.
3mair; well you don't need to remind me
I placed my hands on my heart
3mair; she's gone and I'm ready for anything now, I need to flip that page 5ala9
M7md; just be careful 3mair , a3rfk w ely yals ydoor fe mu5k 3ks ely yals tgoolh tmaman. Ana m5aweek w a3rfk 3dl.
I gave him a slap on his shoulders and smiled.
-----
Dana; NOO WAYY SHAMMA! I've been wanting these heels since forever!
Shamma; haha 7beebti walla lw tboonhm , hach!
She passed the heels to dana with a smile
Dana; are u serious!
Dana started jumping with joy!
She hugged shamma and started doing her own little victory dance
Dana; ure the best! How lucky 3mair is 3afoor? Just tell me?
3afra laughed
Shamma; 7beebti walla danoo ur so cute! We can share our heels ;;)
Dana; OMG! Ure amazing!
3afra; hey shammo w ana -.-?
Shamma; ure all like my sisters now ! We can share everything
Shamma gave 3afra a hug and 3afra smiled.
I guess they're starting to like her , after all, she seems nice "NOT!"
I kept looking at my blackberry hoping that a red light would just appear!
But because of my GREAT luck , my bbm friends decided to be lazy and boring on the day that I need them most!
W b3dain y3ne , I'm used to my luck.
Shamma; agool girls
Dana and 3afra looked at her , including me...
Shamma; I want to know more about your cousin.
Dana; who?
3afra; 3mair?
Shamma; yaa -.- he seems so mysterious like I don't know how to bring these words out of his mouth. He's so queit and u know our marriage is arranged but I have strong feelings for him!
Dana smiled
Shamma; like he's tall and hot. He's so caring , he got the right body and smile. He's tanned , he's everything I dreamed of !
3afra; I'm just waiting for you to drool now -.-
Shamma blushed and threw a pillow at 3afra.
I feel hurt , she was just talking about my love , she seems into him.
I tried not to cry, I tried holding the tears back but I couldn't.
Tears started falling and I can see dana whispering to 3afra about hom emotional I'm getting!
Whenever I tell myself to stop and gain strength , I get back to the same start point where I keep falling down.
Shamma; omg why is she crying :s!
Ahhh 5ala9 I can't!
5awla; the she ure talking about has a name!
I said that with anger and left the frickin room.
I started running downstairs but then I bumped into m7md!
I collapsed into his arms and I cried.
I cried all the tears that I've been holding on for a year!
M7md; bs 5awool
5awla; its hard walla 7mood! Its hard listening to her talk about him and say nothing. Its hard sitting there like a stupid dumbass who gave up on her only love.
M7md; u didn't give up , it doesn't work that's all
5awla; but we couldve tried , we couldve aah I don't know :(
M7md; t3ali n6l3 br3
He held my arms and took me outside where I see him AGAIN but what?
I see him smoking!
He doesn't smoke :s he stopped years ago!
It was a bad habbit but he stopped!
Why is he doing it again :s
M7md was holding my hand but I pushed him and ran to him!
5awla; WHAT is this :s!
3mair; get back inside.
5awla; no ! Give me that 3mair!
He pushed me away and gave me a glare!
5awla; FUCK YOU! Stop it ! Its not good for you!
3mair; why should I care huh? Why 5awla! Give me one good reason!
5awla; because u have a WIFE to take care of! You have people who care about inside that house, you have cousins who die just to see you smile. You have aunts who look up at you for being the man you are today!
He started laughing
5awla; and why is that funny!
3mair; ITS BULLSHIT 5AWOOL! I don't give a fuck about anything anymore, now go away and give me your back again , like always just walk away!
He's frustrating! He's making me go angry!
I came close to him , looked into his eyes.
5awla; then if you love me stop
I grabbed his hand and placed It on my heart
5awla; if you care about It stop, you're hurting it a lot! You know I hate smoking.
He throws the cigarrate and he looks at me
3mair; I miss you
He whispered
I looked at him and I held his face , he looked so adorable.
5awla; you smell bad.
He laughed and I smiled.
5awla; don't ever do that again.
3mair; and why?
5awla; because
3mair; yes?
5awla; your wife loves you.
I shed a tear and he moves away.
3mair; will you stop talking about her?
5awla; everything revolves around her 3mair, she's a fact now, she's reality, face it!
3mair; then why did you come out here, why did you make me touch your heart and feel the love again.
5awla; because! I need you to stop! I need you to gain strength and be 3mair that I used to know and respect.
3mair; 5awool
5awla; no just listen! You'll learn to love her.
3mair; how can you say that:s?
5awla; I need to say that?
He came close to me, pushed me to the wall and whispered
3mair; say what your heart wants
5awla; I can't.
He punched the wall and that freaked me out.
I started shivering and he yelled at me
3mair; disappear NOW!
I couldn't move.
3mair; shu ttryain? Agoolch rw7i! Wla bnfjr 3laich
I started running and I met m7md again inside.
5awla; can you please go out there! He's going crazy!
I sat down on the couch with my head between my legs
What did you do 5awla?
May59ch feeh! Lw ynt7r b3d may59ch!!!!! Just stay away!
A felt someone touching me so rf3t rasi w I see 3afra
She came and sat next to me.
3afra; go apologize.
5awla; I seriously need less drama in my life.
3afra; what you said was mean. She's shocked. she didn't do anything 5awla!
5awla; but she took him away!
3afra; fate took him away!
5awla: oh no! You can't blame It on fate! It has nothing to do with fate.
3afra; just go and say sorry.
5awla; come with me?
3afra; sure!
While waking to shamma again , I told 3afra what happened outside.
3afra; 5awool promise me ull stay away!
5awla; I promised myslef. I need to be away a9ln
3afra; good girl. Just accept it ok?
5awla; ill learn how to? W b3dain I know ill always be a part of his heart.
3afra: no no , don't think about him! Stop!
I laughed and she kicked my ass and pushed me in.
Shamma looked up and had a disappointed smile
Shamma; I'm sorry , ma 89dt az3lch
5awla; no don't worry about It I'm sorry!
Shamma; so were ok?
5awla; ya sure!
Dana; come on girls! Nl3b uno? I love that game, let's be childish shwei!
3afra; I'm in!
Shamme; I'm in tooo!!!
Dana; 5awool?!!!!
5awool; why not?:)
--------
M7md; shu balak enth? 5wft elbnt w you're acting like an idiot!
3mair; shu tboon mni a7eenh haa?! Swaitu ely tboonh! Frgtoona! Shu tboon akthr?!
M7md; esm3ni 3mair! Mlait wna agolks bs ! 5ala9 wdr elsalfh ! Move on ya5i! U have a soon to be wife upstairs and ure doing this! Crying over stupid childish love!
3mair; so you think my love to her Is stupid and childish?
M7md; eskt w goom fooog , seer salem 3laiha gbl la trw7
M7md; ma b3eed kalami 3mair, btryak fl syarah!
3mair; just go away!
I kept thinking to myself, why am I doing this?
Why am I putting myself in this bad position and putting her in it too?
We don't deserve this! I don't! She doesn't!
I've been thinking about myself lately and abandoning all the people I love.
Fkrt b 3gli w 3gli ygooly " 3mair , move on. Its a crush not even close to love."
I sat for a few minutes thinking about going up or not
But then I guess I have to.
I walked inside , upstairs , to dana's room to see shamma.
But then her *5awla* laugh made me take a step back.
Am I ready for this? To see her again after what happened?
------
someone knocked on the door, we thought it was mary or 5daamat 3afoor
But its him.
3mair; shamma?
Shamma; t3al 7beebi ana hni
-------
Yadoo; moza 5li wldch b3eed 3n 5awla! Ma shfti kaif y6al3ah elyoum! Tra walla shu bygoolon elnass ! 3aib !
Moza; mdri shu aswi feeh ! Mayet 3laiaha walla y'6arbni 3shanha!
Yadoo; m7d galch t56benla youm t3rfen galbh wya 5awla.
Moza; bs ana maba 5awla !
Yadoo; 5awla a7sn 3n kl el7reem , jamal, a5la8 , tbryh , jsm , w 7taaa sha6ra mashalla 3laiha w mb '3reeba!
Moza; ana a7b shamma w umha tmoon 3lai !
Yadoo; kaifch ... 3yal 5li wldch yt7km fe mshaa3rh w mayswi shay nndm 3laih klna.
I've always been the girl that's being laughed at or the girl that's getting bullied at school.
At the end of the day, I would go to that place behind his house and he'd meet me there. We'd talk about my problems and he'd find a way to make me smile.
That place still exists but the problem is that were no longer the same people. We've changed and that place has been left behind with memories and only memories.
I try to stop the tears , I try to remain strong , but trying is not good enough right now.
I have to BITCH up and be that "IT GIRL"
I can't be innocent 5awla anymore, innocent 5awla is all about heart break and tears. I'm done with that!
I looked at myself and I don't like the way my eyes are puffed and the way my nose is all red.
-----
She left me and walked away, what I heard from her was a bit heart breaking.
I'm happy she's happy but am I really THAT happy?
I don't want her to smile when I'm not around! I don't want her to glow when I'm missing!
I can be selfish bs that's just me. She knows I'm Mr.Selfish but I can't change it.
Her loves makes me selfish.
M7md appeared and sat next to me
M7md; and how did that go
3mair; idk 7mood , she seems okay.
M7md; ya , and how are u feeling?
3mair; you're not gonna like the answer to that question
M7md; bring it! I can handle it
He laughed and I sighed
3mair; I miss her 7mood, I want to take her into my arms and smile mn kl galby
M7md; enzeen yal 3ashg , goom 7rmtk ttryak da5l
3mair; 7rmtk?
M7md; bs abak t7s how serious and real shamma is.
3mair; well you don't need to remind me
I placed my hands on my heart
3mair; she's gone and I'm ready for anything now, I need to flip that page 5ala9
M7md; just be careful 3mair , a3rfk w ely yals ydoor fe mu5k 3ks ely yals tgoolh tmaman. Ana m5aweek w a3rfk 3dl.
I gave him a slap on his shoulders and smiled.
-----
Dana; NOO WAYY SHAMMA! I've been wanting these heels since forever!
Shamma; haha 7beebti walla lw tboonhm , hach!
She passed the heels to dana with a smile
Dana; are u serious!
Dana started jumping with joy!
She hugged shamma and started doing her own little victory dance
Dana; ure the best! How lucky 3mair is 3afoor? Just tell me?
3afra laughed
Shamma; 7beebti walla danoo ur so cute! We can share our heels ;;)
Dana; OMG! Ure amazing!
3afra; hey shammo w ana -.-?
Shamma; ure all like my sisters now ! We can share everything
Shamma gave 3afra a hug and 3afra smiled.
I guess they're starting to like her , after all, she seems nice "NOT!"
I kept looking at my blackberry hoping that a red light would just appear!
But because of my GREAT luck , my bbm friends decided to be lazy and boring on the day that I need them most!
W b3dain y3ne , I'm used to my luck.
Shamma; agool girls
Dana and 3afra looked at her , including me...
Shamma; I want to know more about your cousin.
Dana; who?
3afra; 3mair?
Shamma; yaa -.- he seems so mysterious like I don't know how to bring these words out of his mouth. He's so queit and u know our marriage is arranged but I have strong feelings for him!
Dana smiled
Shamma; like he's tall and hot. He's so caring , he got the right body and smile. He's tanned , he's everything I dreamed of !
3afra; I'm just waiting for you to drool now -.-
Shamma blushed and threw a pillow at 3afra.
I feel hurt , she was just talking about my love , she seems into him.
I tried not to cry, I tried holding the tears back but I couldn't.
Tears started falling and I can see dana whispering to 3afra about hom emotional I'm getting!
Whenever I tell myself to stop and gain strength , I get back to the same start point where I keep falling down.
Shamma; omg why is she crying :s!
Ahhh 5ala9 I can't!
5awla; the she ure talking about has a name!
I said that with anger and left the frickin room.
I started running downstairs but then I bumped into m7md!
I collapsed into his arms and I cried.
I cried all the tears that I've been holding on for a year!
M7md; bs 5awool
5awla; its hard walla 7mood! Its hard listening to her talk about him and say nothing. Its hard sitting there like a stupid dumbass who gave up on her only love.
M7md; u didn't give up , it doesn't work that's all
5awla; but we couldve tried , we couldve aah I don't know :(
M7md; t3ali n6l3 br3
He held my arms and took me outside where I see him AGAIN but what?
I see him smoking!
He doesn't smoke :s he stopped years ago!
It was a bad habbit but he stopped!
Why is he doing it again :s
M7md was holding my hand but I pushed him and ran to him!
5awla; WHAT is this :s!
3mair; get back inside.
5awla; no ! Give me that 3mair!
He pushed me away and gave me a glare!
5awla; FUCK YOU! Stop it ! Its not good for you!
3mair; why should I care huh? Why 5awla! Give me one good reason!
5awla; because u have a WIFE to take care of! You have people who care about inside that house, you have cousins who die just to see you smile. You have aunts who look up at you for being the man you are today!
He started laughing
5awla; and why is that funny!
3mair; ITS BULLSHIT 5AWOOL! I don't give a fuck about anything anymore, now go away and give me your back again , like always just walk away!
He's frustrating! He's making me go angry!
I came close to him , looked into his eyes.
5awla; then if you love me stop
I grabbed his hand and placed It on my heart
5awla; if you care about It stop, you're hurting it a lot! You know I hate smoking.
He throws the cigarrate and he looks at me
3mair; I miss you
He whispered
I looked at him and I held his face , he looked so adorable.
5awla; you smell bad.
He laughed and I smiled.
5awla; don't ever do that again.
3mair; and why?
5awla; because
3mair; yes?
5awla; your wife loves you.
I shed a tear and he moves away.
3mair; will you stop talking about her?
5awla; everything revolves around her 3mair, she's a fact now, she's reality, face it!
3mair; then why did you come out here, why did you make me touch your heart and feel the love again.
5awla; because! I need you to stop! I need you to gain strength and be 3mair that I used to know and respect.
3mair; 5awool
5awla; no just listen! You'll learn to love her.
3mair; how can you say that:s?
5awla; I need to say that?
He came close to me, pushed me to the wall and whispered
3mair; say what your heart wants
5awla; I can't.
He punched the wall and that freaked me out.
I started shivering and he yelled at me
3mair; disappear NOW!
I couldn't move.
3mair; shu ttryain? Agoolch rw7i! Wla bnfjr 3laich
I started running and I met m7md again inside.
5awla; can you please go out there! He's going crazy!
I sat down on the couch with my head between my legs
What did you do 5awla?
May59ch feeh! Lw ynt7r b3d may59ch!!!!! Just stay away!
A felt someone touching me so rf3t rasi w I see 3afra
She came and sat next to me.
3afra; go apologize.
5awla; I seriously need less drama in my life.
3afra; what you said was mean. She's shocked. she didn't do anything 5awla!
5awla; but she took him away!
3afra; fate took him away!
5awla: oh no! You can't blame It on fate! It has nothing to do with fate.
3afra; just go and say sorry.
5awla; come with me?
3afra; sure!
While waking to shamma again , I told 3afra what happened outside.
3afra; 5awool promise me ull stay away!
5awla; I promised myslef. I need to be away a9ln
3afra; good girl. Just accept it ok?
5awla; ill learn how to? W b3dain I know ill always be a part of his heart.
3afra: no no , don't think about him! Stop!
I laughed and she kicked my ass and pushed me in.
Shamma looked up and had a disappointed smile
Shamma; I'm sorry , ma 89dt az3lch
5awla; no don't worry about It I'm sorry!
Shamma; so were ok?
5awla; ya sure!
Dana; come on girls! Nl3b uno? I love that game, let's be childish shwei!
3afra; I'm in!
Shamme; I'm in tooo!!!
Dana; 5awool?!!!!
5awool; why not?:)
--------
M7md; shu balak enth? 5wft elbnt w you're acting like an idiot!
3mair; shu tboon mni a7eenh haa?! Swaitu ely tboonh! Frgtoona! Shu tboon akthr?!
M7md; esm3ni 3mair! Mlait wna agolks bs ! 5ala9 wdr elsalfh ! Move on ya5i! U have a soon to be wife upstairs and ure doing this! Crying over stupid childish love!
3mair; so you think my love to her Is stupid and childish?
M7md; eskt w goom fooog , seer salem 3laiha gbl la trw7
M7md; ma b3eed kalami 3mair, btryak fl syarah!
3mair; just go away!
I kept thinking to myself, why am I doing this?
Why am I putting myself in this bad position and putting her in it too?
We don't deserve this! I don't! She doesn't!
I've been thinking about myself lately and abandoning all the people I love.
Fkrt b 3gli w 3gli ygooly " 3mair , move on. Its a crush not even close to love."
I sat for a few minutes thinking about going up or not
But then I guess I have to.
I walked inside , upstairs , to dana's room to see shamma.
But then her *5awla* laugh made me take a step back.
Am I ready for this? To see her again after what happened?
------
someone knocked on the door, we thought it was mary or 5daamat 3afoor
But its him.
3mair; shamma?
Shamma; t3al 7beebi ana hni
-------
Yadoo; moza 5li wldch b3eed 3n 5awla! Ma shfti kaif y6al3ah elyoum! Tra walla shu bygoolon elnass ! 3aib !
Moza; mdri shu aswi feeh ! Mayet 3laiaha walla y'6arbni 3shanha!
Yadoo; m7d galch t56benla youm t3rfen galbh wya 5awla.
Moza; bs ana maba 5awla !
Yadoo; 5awla a7sn 3n kl el7reem , jamal, a5la8 , tbryh , jsm , w 7taaa sha6ra mashalla 3laiha w mb '3reeba!
Moza; ana a7b shamma w umha tmoon 3lai !
Yadoo; kaifch ... 3yal 5li wldch yt7km fe mshaa3rh w mayswi shay nndm 3laih klna.
31 March 2012
O&K 11
I started distracting myself by talking with danoo about random things but she didn't get me.
Dana; 5awool shut up w goomi 5lna nslm
My heart was beating so fast
I heard his voice
The same exact voice I longed to her 1 year ago
Goose bumps were all over my body
Dana stood up
Dana; halla 3mair , twlhna 3laik
3afra stood up
3afra; el7mdllah 3l salama brooo!
And then it was me
Rf3t rasi and he was standing jdami
I looked at him with grief and sadness
My eyes got filled with tears
3mair; sh7alch 5awla
I didn't stand up , I didn't shake hands
Its was just a simple answer
5awla; b5air
He went and sat next to yadoo
He placed his arms around her and talked to her with a big smile
I don't how can he be so happy and selfish
I just hate him!
Shamma moved her place and sat next to 3mair
She placed her hands on his legs and looked at him
Bdat she whispers ashya2 fe ethnh and a kiss on the neck
I was doomed , I kept shaking , magdr :s , I can't do this!
Its hard
Seeing him become this HOT
Ensan jameel ya nass
He's not just hot
hoo jameel mashallah
Feeh jamal mb 6bee3i
Dana held my hands and looked at me
She felt that I was really sick of watching kl ha
I gave her a weak smile and assured her that I'm strong enough to look at them.
Shamma; t9dgoon banaat ! Hatha ur cousin wayd 3need -_- may3ybh shaaay walla!
Yadoo; hatha 3mair mn 9'3rh che
Who's she to be talking about him jdami :)!
Even though I was angry , I managed to smile to myself
Yes, 3mair is so stubborn
I looked down at my hands and a smile just appeared when they were talking about how he wants everything his way.
After a few seocnds , I raised my head again and he was STARING at me
But youm shfth 9ad el9oob elthani
Really 3mair?
Moza/3mair's mom; 5awla w 3afra w danoo mmkn tsa3dooni shwei
Dana: shu 5aloo
Moza; la bs aba help fl m6b5 shwei
We stood up and followed her
I felt such a relief that I left that room :)
-----
When she left , I couldn't even focus.
I need to keep looking at her
I miss her face and most importantly her smile.
She looks so innocent , I just want to hug her.
Shamma; 3mair ?
3mair: hmmm
Shamma; 5lna n6l3 br3 shwei nrms
3mair; enzen yalla
I just agreed so I can take a glimpse of her on the way outside
I opened the door and made shamma take the first step outside.
Followed her and we went to the big garden filled with beautiful flowers which we couldn't see because it was too dark.
My eyes were searching for her but they didn't find her
Shamma; 7bebi elyoum bnswi sleepover wya ur cousins
3mair; zain che tt3rfain 3laihm akthr
Shamma; bs hay 5wla a7sha mat7bni 3mair :(
Her name made my heart beat so fast
I looked at shamma not knowing what to say next
3mair; give her time
Shamma; I'm so excited , they seem nice w mashallah a7lahm dana
3mair; u think so?
Shamma; ya 5wla mb wayd 7lwa a9ln w 3afra y3ne jameela b3d
Wow, nobody dared to talk about "K" jdami ! And now she comes and says that my "K" is not even gorgeous !
3mair; bs 3ad shamma , shu tbain feehm a7eenh
I said that with a mad tone
She came close and grabbed my neck
I wouldve just pushed her but I don't want to hurt her
She's too nice wyay that I feel so mean
She looked into my eyes
Shamma; t3rf lain al7en we didn't have our first kiss
I was shocked. Usually us guyz would do that step but with me and shamma its different.
I have no feelings , I can't kiss her.
But she did! She did because she knew she had to do it , she did because she knew the me , 3mair , would never do it.
I know that shamma t7s enh our relationship is not that much loveeeeyyy but I try to make her feel secured about it.
I kissed her back.
-----
3afra; I hate her -,- 8hrttniiiiiiiiiiii b'3aait a9mha kaff -_-
Dana; 9aa7b shftu youm basth w mdri kaif , 9dg ma tst7i , enzeen mb jdaamna 3ad w jdam yadoo aham shay
3afra; t3rfeen daanoo , elyoum bnl3wzhaaa -.-
5awla; ayyh 3afoor :@ 7raam enzeen , 3shan 3mair bs nt7mlha
3afra; seeri zgii 5awool , ure supposed to be the first one to go " YES! 3afoor U GO GIRL! "
I laughed with dana :p
This girls is just too funnyy!
I kicked her ass
5awla; 5aaibh mb ass , ryooli 3wrtni
Dana; aham shay bl jlaabyh b3d 5awool tshotenha
She shaked her ass and got out of the kitchen , keeping me and danoo die out of laughter!
Dana; enty bs goolely habla wla habla hal ensanah
5awla; hahahahah
Dana; 5awool
5awla; shuu
She talked to me while preparing the wara8 3enab
Dana; how are u now? Is everything ok?
5awla; I feel ok but my heart hurts u know? he seems happy so I won't bother him
Dana; no he doesn't seem happy -_- kl shwei y6al3ch
I blushed and looked at her
5awla; walla?
Dana; yes 7beebti , he still wants you but he's stuck with her
5awla; ok? So I can't do anything , I can't hope for him to come back , I can't keep loving him knowing that he's with someone now and its official danoo
Dana; just keep in mind that he loved u no matter what!
5awla; all I need to know that I love him and I will keep loving him
3mair; loving who?
He entered with shamma holding his hands
W ana mn el9dmh g9aait eydy bl knifee
And let me tell u? I HATE BLOOD!
I started shaking and panicking!
Danoo; omg 5awool! Shu swaitii! Bseer byeblch hal dwa mal yadoo
He came so close that I could recognize it from his smell
3mair: matshoofen?
His breath all over my neck and shoulders
I was about to slap him , shu 8a9dh matshoofeen?! Why does he care a9ln!
5alwa; go away
He laughed and that made me more nervous!
5awla; ufffffff wainha dana!
3mair; enzen 5leeni ashoof?
5awla; 3maair GOOOM b3eed :( uffff
3mair; RAWEENI!
I gave him my hand and he started laughing again
I was about to take my hand away
3mair; sorry sorry
Shamma; its just a small cut 5awla!
3mair; traha daloo3a
Why is he doing this! Seriously! Yf'67ni jdamhaa
But when he touched my hand , the mad 5awla turned to the calm 5awla.
I looked at him and he looked back at me with a smile
I can't do this , w shamma jdami?
I can't have feelings for him , even though I hate that shamma creature , I have respect for myself!
I can't
I took my hands away and went to dana
5alwa; SNTAIN?
Dana; that was so cute da5l:(! '3abya u went away!
5awla; omg danoo mn el9b7 t6al3ain w madsheen u save me?
Dana; I couldn't
5awla; I almost died yal habla ! I hate u w b3daain 3aib enzeen w 7raam 7g shamma
Dana; shamma w shamma UFFF
5awla; give me that !
I took eldwa w rw7t
---
I followed her outside
She was walking so fast that I couldn't catch up
3maair; 5a woo l
She turned around
3mair; wait shwei
I ran to her and I grabbed her hand
3mair; sorry mb 8a9di a'67k 3laich bs u know its funny -,-"
5awla; no its not enzen w give me eydyy -,-"
3mair; why don't u take away ur hand
5awla; cuz ull shout and go like this " RAWEENI " it scares me
He smiled and I smiled too.
3mair: sm3t btswoon sleep-over
5awla; yaa .. With ur wife
It really hurts listening to her saying " ur wife "
3mair; yes my wife .....
She was silent for about 2 minutes
3mair; how are u
5awla; I was fine before u decided to show up
3mair; ouch?
5awla; seriously why do u have to come back! Why 3mair why
3mair; shu hal s2al 5awool , this is where I belong
5awla; I just.... like ..... I don't know !
3mair; well u seem ok
5awla; I seem ok? Are u fucking serious! I cried for months , I abandoned my family and myself, food and water didn't enter my system for weeks! What are u talking about 3mair? Enth ely u seem all happy
3mair; well I am happy
5awla; GOOD
3mair; I'm happy that I'm back.
she looked at me with confused eyes
3mair; I'm happy that ure here now.
5awla; well guess what , I seriously did moved on. I'm actually glad that shamma appeared!
She smiled and kept me speechless.
3mair; good then that's great.
5awla; yaa life is amazing!
3mair; it really is
I faked a smile
----
I lied and lied and lied.
5awla; well guess what , I seriously did moved on. I'm actually glad that shamma appeared!
I faked a BIG smile which I'm really good at!
He didn't say anything
Just silence!
3mair; good then that's great.
5awla; yaa life is amazing!
Goo 5awool! Perfect at lying !
3mair; it really is
I faked a smile AGAIN
Dana; 5awool shut up w goomi 5lna nslm
My heart was beating so fast
I heard his voice
The same exact voice I longed to her 1 year ago
Goose bumps were all over my body
Dana stood up
Dana; halla 3mair , twlhna 3laik
3afra stood up
3afra; el7mdllah 3l salama brooo!
And then it was me
Rf3t rasi and he was standing jdami
I looked at him with grief and sadness
My eyes got filled with tears
3mair; sh7alch 5awla
I didn't stand up , I didn't shake hands
Its was just a simple answer
5awla; b5air
He went and sat next to yadoo
He placed his arms around her and talked to her with a big smile
I don't how can he be so happy and selfish
I just hate him!
Shamma moved her place and sat next to 3mair
She placed her hands on his legs and looked at him
Bdat she whispers ashya2 fe ethnh and a kiss on the neck
I was doomed , I kept shaking , magdr :s , I can't do this!
Its hard
Seeing him become this HOT
Ensan jameel ya nass
He's not just hot
hoo jameel mashallah
Feeh jamal mb 6bee3i
Dana held my hands and looked at me
She felt that I was really sick of watching kl ha
I gave her a weak smile and assured her that I'm strong enough to look at them.
Shamma; t9dgoon banaat ! Hatha ur cousin wayd 3need -_- may3ybh shaaay walla!
Yadoo; hatha 3mair mn 9'3rh che
Who's she to be talking about him jdami :)!
Even though I was angry , I managed to smile to myself
Yes, 3mair is so stubborn
I looked down at my hands and a smile just appeared when they were talking about how he wants everything his way.
After a few seocnds , I raised my head again and he was STARING at me
But youm shfth 9ad el9oob elthani
Really 3mair?
Moza/3mair's mom; 5awla w 3afra w danoo mmkn tsa3dooni shwei
Dana: shu 5aloo
Moza; la bs aba help fl m6b5 shwei
We stood up and followed her
I felt such a relief that I left that room :)
-----
When she left , I couldn't even focus.
I need to keep looking at her
I miss her face and most importantly her smile.
She looks so innocent , I just want to hug her.
Shamma; 3mair ?
3mair: hmmm
Shamma; 5lna n6l3 br3 shwei nrms
3mair; enzen yalla
I just agreed so I can take a glimpse of her on the way outside
I opened the door and made shamma take the first step outside.
Followed her and we went to the big garden filled with beautiful flowers which we couldn't see because it was too dark.
My eyes were searching for her but they didn't find her
Shamma; 7bebi elyoum bnswi sleepover wya ur cousins
3mair; zain che tt3rfain 3laihm akthr
Shamma; bs hay 5wla a7sha mat7bni 3mair :(
Her name made my heart beat so fast
I looked at shamma not knowing what to say next
3mair; give her time
Shamma; I'm so excited , they seem nice w mashallah a7lahm dana
3mair; u think so?
Shamma; ya 5wla mb wayd 7lwa a9ln w 3afra y3ne jameela b3d
Wow, nobody dared to talk about "K" jdami ! And now she comes and says that my "K" is not even gorgeous !
3mair; bs 3ad shamma , shu tbain feehm a7eenh
I said that with a mad tone
She came close and grabbed my neck
I wouldve just pushed her but I don't want to hurt her
She's too nice wyay that I feel so mean
She looked into my eyes
Shamma; t3rf lain al7en we didn't have our first kiss
I was shocked. Usually us guyz would do that step but with me and shamma its different.
I have no feelings , I can't kiss her.
But she did! She did because she knew she had to do it , she did because she knew the me , 3mair , would never do it.
I know that shamma t7s enh our relationship is not that much loveeeeyyy but I try to make her feel secured about it.
I kissed her back.
-----
3afra; I hate her -,- 8hrttniiiiiiiiiiii b'3aait a9mha kaff -_-
Dana; 9aa7b shftu youm basth w mdri kaif , 9dg ma tst7i , enzeen mb jdaamna 3ad w jdam yadoo aham shay
3afra; t3rfeen daanoo , elyoum bnl3wzhaaa -.-
5awla; ayyh 3afoor :@ 7raam enzeen , 3shan 3mair bs nt7mlha
3afra; seeri zgii 5awool , ure supposed to be the first one to go " YES! 3afoor U GO GIRL! "
I laughed with dana :p
This girls is just too funnyy!
I kicked her ass
5awla; 5aaibh mb ass , ryooli 3wrtni
Dana; aham shay bl jlaabyh b3d 5awool tshotenha
She shaked her ass and got out of the kitchen , keeping me and danoo die out of laughter!
Dana; enty bs goolely habla wla habla hal ensanah
5awla; hahahahah
Dana; 5awool
5awla; shuu
She talked to me while preparing the wara8 3enab
Dana; how are u now? Is everything ok?
5awla; I feel ok but my heart hurts u know? he seems happy so I won't bother him
Dana; no he doesn't seem happy -_- kl shwei y6al3ch
I blushed and looked at her
5awla; walla?
Dana; yes 7beebti , he still wants you but he's stuck with her
5awla; ok? So I can't do anything , I can't hope for him to come back , I can't keep loving him knowing that he's with someone now and its official danoo
Dana; just keep in mind that he loved u no matter what!
5awla; all I need to know that I love him and I will keep loving him
3mair; loving who?
He entered with shamma holding his hands
W ana mn el9dmh g9aait eydy bl knifee
And let me tell u? I HATE BLOOD!
I started shaking and panicking!
Danoo; omg 5awool! Shu swaitii! Bseer byeblch hal dwa mal yadoo
He came so close that I could recognize it from his smell
3mair: matshoofen?
His breath all over my neck and shoulders
I was about to slap him , shu 8a9dh matshoofeen?! Why does he care a9ln!
5alwa; go away
He laughed and that made me more nervous!
5awla; ufffffff wainha dana!
3mair; enzen 5leeni ashoof?
5awla; 3maair GOOOM b3eed :( uffff
3mair; RAWEENI!
I gave him my hand and he started laughing again
I was about to take my hand away
3mair; sorry sorry
Shamma; its just a small cut 5awla!
3mair; traha daloo3a
Why is he doing this! Seriously! Yf'67ni jdamhaa
But when he touched my hand , the mad 5awla turned to the calm 5awla.
I looked at him and he looked back at me with a smile
I can't do this , w shamma jdami?
I can't have feelings for him , even though I hate that shamma creature , I have respect for myself!
I can't
I took my hands away and went to dana
5alwa; SNTAIN?
Dana; that was so cute da5l:(! '3abya u went away!
5awla; omg danoo mn el9b7 t6al3ain w madsheen u save me?
Dana; I couldn't
5awla; I almost died yal habla ! I hate u w b3daain 3aib enzeen w 7raam 7g shamma
Dana; shamma w shamma UFFF
5awla; give me that !
I took eldwa w rw7t
---
I followed her outside
She was walking so fast that I couldn't catch up
3maair; 5a woo l
She turned around
3mair; wait shwei
I ran to her and I grabbed her hand
3mair; sorry mb 8a9di a'67k 3laich bs u know its funny -,-"
5awla; no its not enzen w give me eydyy -,-"
3mair; why don't u take away ur hand
5awla; cuz ull shout and go like this " RAWEENI " it scares me
He smiled and I smiled too.
3mair: sm3t btswoon sleep-over
5awla; yaa .. With ur wife
It really hurts listening to her saying " ur wife "
3mair; yes my wife .....
She was silent for about 2 minutes
3mair; how are u
5awla; I was fine before u decided to show up
3mair; ouch?
5awla; seriously why do u have to come back! Why 3mair why
3mair; shu hal s2al 5awool , this is where I belong
5awla; I just.... like ..... I don't know !
3mair; well u seem ok
5awla; I seem ok? Are u fucking serious! I cried for months , I abandoned my family and myself, food and water didn't enter my system for weeks! What are u talking about 3mair? Enth ely u seem all happy
3mair; well I am happy
5awla; GOOD
3mair; I'm happy that I'm back.
she looked at me with confused eyes
3mair; I'm happy that ure here now.
5awla; well guess what , I seriously did moved on. I'm actually glad that shamma appeared!
She smiled and kept me speechless.
3mair; good then that's great.
5awla; yaa life is amazing!
3mair; it really is
I faked a smile
----
I lied and lied and lied.
5awla; well guess what , I seriously did moved on. I'm actually glad that shamma appeared!
I faked a BIG smile which I'm really good at!
He didn't say anything
Just silence!
3mair; good then that's great.
5awla; yaa life is amazing!
Goo 5awool! Perfect at lying !
3mair; it really is
I faked a smile AGAIN
25 March 2012
O&K 10
Sorry for being always late , my spring break mb now :(
Enjoy my lovely readers:*
------
When I came back , everything was so true.
Like back then in USA , I was confident that I'm moving on but when I'm back here , it seems different.
It seems scary and nerve wrecking.
Mama was crying , 7mood kept talking about how much fun we'll have cuz I'm finally back.
They talked and talked
But I didn't listen , I had two phones.
One that I didn't dare to open
All our msgs are in that phone
Her pictures
Our fights
Our make ups
Mostly everything
The phone that I had with me in London had nothing to do with 5awla.
Just saying her name makes me feel bad.
She's my cousin , ill get to see her every now and then so I have to be ready for it.
M7md; yado will be thrilled!
Moza; hayh walllah , 7lailha she misses u A LOT !
3mair; I miss her too!
I smiled and they both smiled back.
I looked at the window next to me
My heart started beating so fast
I placed my hands on my heart
It was eager to be close to hers.
----
I was sitting with 3afoor and danoo
We became friends again -.- as usual
We fight and we get back to being ok
That's us (a)
Even though I was nervous and scared, I was excited too
I just miss his face and his laugh
His innocent smile
His flirty smirks
His eyes
His smell
Just everything
But who am I kidding? he doesn't want to see me
He wants to see her.
I feel broken and mad because he forgot about me in seconds.
When he told me he loved me ! What was it , a joke?
Was he lying just to make me feel good and have an excuse?
I don't know , I really don't.
I need to talk to him to understand but absolutely not
Our talks would be cousinly ONLY!
I worked so hard on myself , to get out of my comfort zone and I'm not giving it all up for a guy that is so full of himself and selfish.
For a guy that gave up on me so fast
I don't care if his mom said so
Or my dad said so
He needs to do something if he was all over me as he said he was.
AAAHH 5awool just stop thinking about it! Stop stop stop stop stop
Yup stop!
Yadoo came in and she smiled to all of us
wgfna w srnalha 3shan enslm 3laiha w nboos rasha
Yadoo; sh7alch 3afra
3afra; b5air yadoo
Yadoo; w danoo!
Dana; I'm great (a)
But when she turned to look at me , che she got mad fj2a
Yadoo; shu labsa 5awla:s
5awla; shu:s bn6loon w 8amee9!
Yadoo; goomi goomi bdli 3n eyech kaff a7eenh
I got so scared , its the first time she talks to me che!
I was literally shaking
I see her mad at others but never at me
Never at her only 5awool
5awla; shu yado ! Mn wain ayebli thyab enshallah w b3dain yadoo balach, mb awal mrh etshoofeni che
Yadoo; bs elyoum '3air , elyoum bayoon e5wan shamma 56eebt 3mair w wayd nas so go get change
5awla; aaah -.- a'3yr 3shanha y3ne w mno gal b6l3lhm
Yadoo; incase seeri '3yri! Shoofi 3afoor w dano labseen jlaleeb
5awla; wna wain a6l3li jlaabyh
Yadoo; seeri 3ndi wayd foog
I got really mad! Like super super mad
I left the room and got upstairs to get a fucking jlabyh just to make miss shamma and her brothers happy?
I grabbed a pink jalabiya that suited my heels
I looked at my reflection in the mirror
I have to admit , I look healthy compared to what I've been through
I look pretty (a) MASHALLAH! :p
Before leaving , I sat on the bed and checked my fone.
There were many msgs and bbm's that I didn't bother opening! I was secluded from the outside world for a long time and now its the moment to get back.
I updated my DP and wrote " 5awla AlX "
Smiled to the screen and slowly got downstairs.
----
3afra; guess what yado came up with
5awla; wtf is wrong with her today?
Dana; I knw-.-"! She's so mad
5awla; enzen w b3dain! Shu tbana nswi! Ntn8b?
3afra; no no something even worse :)
5awla; omg what can be worse?
Dana; a sleepover with shamma:)
5awla; NO WAY SHUT UP!
3afra; walla she came and told us youm rw7ti t'3yreen
5awla; well I'm not staying
Dana: u have to!
5awla; I don't want to
3afra; she's forcing us 5awool! W b3dain 7ram 3aib
5awla; what do u mean 7ram 3aib? Seriously 3afoor u know how I feel about this
3afra; 7ayati 5awool walla adri bs let's do it for yadoo! She will be so mad if we go against her will
5awla; please god save me ! Can this day get any better :D?!!!!
3afra; this little shamma! I wanna squeeze her
Dana; 7raam! Maybe she's nice! Ygoolon wayd 7lwa
I sat there listening and not joining that lame convo.
They were talking about shamma and 3mair as a couple and I don't mind. I know it hurts but I'm going to here their name a lot today so I have to suck it up!
I'm so confident about myself , I know I'm better and I can find a better person. I'm not ready for realtionships after all or am I?
With all of these thoughts , a group of women came in with yadoo.
We stood up and smiled
I faked faked faked a fucking smile
They were all like so happy and super excited
I wanted to pucnh them and kick their asses!
There was this thing ! Like a tiny creature that was shining! Seriously she was shining , feeling happy more than the others.
Maybe it was her , maybe it was that shamma.
w7dh; sh5barch
w7dh; sh7alch
w7dh; elsalam 3laikm
I just nodded and smiled.
I was eager to know which one was that Beeeyatch.
There was a small group of young ladies so it was hard to know which one is S.
Yadoo; hay amnaa um shamma , hay el7lwa shammoo! Hay rbee3tha salama , w hay ro'6a bnt 3amtha :)
Ro'6a; sh7aalkm banat
Dana; el7mdllah b5aair , nwrtu
Amna; elnoor noorkm wallah
Yadoo; this is 5awla , 3afra , and dana ! My young ladies
3afra; halla :D
Shamma; ahlain :D
Her voice was just too annoying! I wanted to strangle her.
I looked at her with disgust and hatred.
I almost cried walla but I reminded myself that no one can make me feel this way anymore.
Shamma; sh7alch 5awla
Guess she felt my weird stares
5awla; zaina
I stood up and headed to grab some tissue from the table
I sat down near the telvision and ignored them. Maba any kind of conversation wyahm
I wonder where mama and 5alo moza
Yadoo; 5awla t3ali
She gave me a death stare so I had to get up and head back there
Aaah yadddo :@ ure becoming annoying and mean and selfish and and and :@ AAH!
3afra; habla?
She whispered
5awla; I hate it here
I whispered
3afra; guess I'm not the only one , look at her! She's not even pretty
5awla; talk about being ugly
We laughed and salama stared at us
I went like WHAT! But it was weird.
3afra; '3abya tf'67een
5awla; a7bch :$
She smiled and I did too.
---
Everybody was so nice and welcoming.
E5wan shamma are so respectul mashalla.
But my mind and my heart wasn't with them at all
It was worried about what was happening out there
Did shamma meet 5awla?
How does 5awla feel?
Moza; mama 3mair , yalla enroo7 3nd shamma shwei enslm 3laiha.
I nodded and smiled
Got up and headed to the door with my mom
Um 5awool followed us
It felt creepy and weird
I don't want to get in there
I don't want to see my K after what? A year
How would I feel
How would I react
This is really really hard.
Moza: yadoo , 3mair bydsh
She said that before entering.....
----
When I head 5alo moza's voice , I literally started shaking
Ma3rft shu aswi, adsh el7maam wla bs ajablh w I get over it
Walla m3rf kaif at9rf jdamh wla shu agool
Wayd shay 93b w mgdr ashoofh
I just can't , its difficult
Maba a9ee7 , maba adm3 , maba galby y3wrni
Maba a7s eny I'm back to that place.
I know from the moment that his foot will step into this room
My feelings will change
I don't just know , I am a thousand percent sure it will.
That's the effect that 3mair had on khawla.
Poor poor me :)
Everyone started putting on their shailas
I did too, I don't know why , I never do , but this time I did.
Maybe that will make me feel more comfortable around him?
Idk -,- I just did !
Andd after 2 mins , that door got unlocked and he stepped in after his mom.
Enjoy my lovely readers:*
------
When I came back , everything was so true.
Like back then in USA , I was confident that I'm moving on but when I'm back here , it seems different.
It seems scary and nerve wrecking.
Mama was crying , 7mood kept talking about how much fun we'll have cuz I'm finally back.
They talked and talked
But I didn't listen , I had two phones.
One that I didn't dare to open
All our msgs are in that phone
Her pictures
Our fights
Our make ups
Mostly everything
The phone that I had with me in London had nothing to do with 5awla.
Just saying her name makes me feel bad.
She's my cousin , ill get to see her every now and then so I have to be ready for it.
M7md; yado will be thrilled!
Moza; hayh walllah , 7lailha she misses u A LOT !
3mair; I miss her too!
I smiled and they both smiled back.
I looked at the window next to me
My heart started beating so fast
I placed my hands on my heart
It was eager to be close to hers.
----
I was sitting with 3afoor and danoo
We became friends again -.- as usual
We fight and we get back to being ok
That's us (a)
Even though I was nervous and scared, I was excited too
I just miss his face and his laugh
His innocent smile
His flirty smirks
His eyes
His smell
Just everything
But who am I kidding? he doesn't want to see me
He wants to see her.
I feel broken and mad because he forgot about me in seconds.
When he told me he loved me ! What was it , a joke?
Was he lying just to make me feel good and have an excuse?
I don't know , I really don't.
I need to talk to him to understand but absolutely not
Our talks would be cousinly ONLY!
I worked so hard on myself , to get out of my comfort zone and I'm not giving it all up for a guy that is so full of himself and selfish.
For a guy that gave up on me so fast
I don't care if his mom said so
Or my dad said so
He needs to do something if he was all over me as he said he was.
AAAHH 5awool just stop thinking about it! Stop stop stop stop stop
Yup stop!
Yadoo came in and she smiled to all of us
wgfna w srnalha 3shan enslm 3laiha w nboos rasha
Yadoo; sh7alch 3afra
3afra; b5air yadoo
Yadoo; w danoo!
Dana; I'm great (a)
But when she turned to look at me , che she got mad fj2a
Yadoo; shu labsa 5awla:s
5awla; shu:s bn6loon w 8amee9!
Yadoo; goomi goomi bdli 3n eyech kaff a7eenh
I got so scared , its the first time she talks to me che!
I was literally shaking
I see her mad at others but never at me
Never at her only 5awool
5awla; shu yado ! Mn wain ayebli thyab enshallah w b3dain yadoo balach, mb awal mrh etshoofeni che
Yadoo; bs elyoum '3air , elyoum bayoon e5wan shamma 56eebt 3mair w wayd nas so go get change
5awla; aaah -.- a'3yr 3shanha y3ne w mno gal b6l3lhm
Yadoo; incase seeri '3yri! Shoofi 3afoor w dano labseen jlaleeb
5awla; wna wain a6l3li jlaabyh
Yadoo; seeri 3ndi wayd foog
I got really mad! Like super super mad
I left the room and got upstairs to get a fucking jlabyh just to make miss shamma and her brothers happy?
I grabbed a pink jalabiya that suited my heels
I looked at my reflection in the mirror
I have to admit , I look healthy compared to what I've been through
I look pretty (a) MASHALLAH! :p
Before leaving , I sat on the bed and checked my fone.
There were many msgs and bbm's that I didn't bother opening! I was secluded from the outside world for a long time and now its the moment to get back.
I updated my DP and wrote " 5awla AlX "
Smiled to the screen and slowly got downstairs.
----
3afra; guess what yado came up with
5awla; wtf is wrong with her today?
Dana; I knw-.-"! She's so mad
5awla; enzen w b3dain! Shu tbana nswi! Ntn8b?
3afra; no no something even worse :)
5awla; omg what can be worse?
Dana; a sleepover with shamma:)
5awla; NO WAY SHUT UP!
3afra; walla she came and told us youm rw7ti t'3yreen
5awla; well I'm not staying
Dana: u have to!
5awla; I don't want to
3afra; she's forcing us 5awool! W b3dain 7ram 3aib
5awla; what do u mean 7ram 3aib? Seriously 3afoor u know how I feel about this
3afra; 7ayati 5awool walla adri bs let's do it for yadoo! She will be so mad if we go against her will
5awla; please god save me ! Can this day get any better :D?!!!!
3afra; this little shamma! I wanna squeeze her
Dana; 7raam! Maybe she's nice! Ygoolon wayd 7lwa
I sat there listening and not joining that lame convo.
They were talking about shamma and 3mair as a couple and I don't mind. I know it hurts but I'm going to here their name a lot today so I have to suck it up!
I'm so confident about myself , I know I'm better and I can find a better person. I'm not ready for realtionships after all or am I?
With all of these thoughts , a group of women came in with yadoo.
We stood up and smiled
I faked faked faked a fucking smile
They were all like so happy and super excited
I wanted to pucnh them and kick their asses!
There was this thing ! Like a tiny creature that was shining! Seriously she was shining , feeling happy more than the others.
Maybe it was her , maybe it was that shamma.
w7dh; sh5barch
w7dh; sh7alch
w7dh; elsalam 3laikm
I just nodded and smiled.
I was eager to know which one was that Beeeyatch.
There was a small group of young ladies so it was hard to know which one is S.
Yadoo; hay amnaa um shamma , hay el7lwa shammoo! Hay rbee3tha salama , w hay ro'6a bnt 3amtha :)
Ro'6a; sh7aalkm banat
Dana; el7mdllah b5aair , nwrtu
Amna; elnoor noorkm wallah
Yadoo; this is 5awla , 3afra , and dana ! My young ladies
3afra; halla :D
Shamma; ahlain :D
Her voice was just too annoying! I wanted to strangle her.
I looked at her with disgust and hatred.
I almost cried walla but I reminded myself that no one can make me feel this way anymore.
Shamma; sh7alch 5awla
Guess she felt my weird stares
5awla; zaina
I stood up and headed to grab some tissue from the table
I sat down near the telvision and ignored them. Maba any kind of conversation wyahm
I wonder where mama and 5alo moza
Yadoo; 5awla t3ali
She gave me a death stare so I had to get up and head back there
Aaah yadddo :@ ure becoming annoying and mean and selfish and and and :@ AAH!
3afra; habla?
She whispered
5awla; I hate it here
I whispered
3afra; guess I'm not the only one , look at her! She's not even pretty
5awla; talk about being ugly
We laughed and salama stared at us
I went like WHAT! But it was weird.
3afra; '3abya tf'67een
5awla; a7bch :$
She smiled and I did too.
---
Everybody was so nice and welcoming.
E5wan shamma are so respectul mashalla.
But my mind and my heart wasn't with them at all
It was worried about what was happening out there
Did shamma meet 5awla?
How does 5awla feel?
Moza; mama 3mair , yalla enroo7 3nd shamma shwei enslm 3laiha.
I nodded and smiled
Got up and headed to the door with my mom
Um 5awool followed us
It felt creepy and weird
I don't want to get in there
I don't want to see my K after what? A year
How would I feel
How would I react
This is really really hard.
Moza: yadoo , 3mair bydsh
She said that before entering.....
----
When I head 5alo moza's voice , I literally started shaking
Ma3rft shu aswi, adsh el7maam wla bs ajablh w I get over it
Walla m3rf kaif at9rf jdamh wla shu agool
Wayd shay 93b w mgdr ashoofh
I just can't , its difficult
Maba a9ee7 , maba adm3 , maba galby y3wrni
Maba a7s eny I'm back to that place.
I know from the moment that his foot will step into this room
My feelings will change
I don't just know , I am a thousand percent sure it will.
That's the effect that 3mair had on khawla.
Poor poor me :)
Everyone started putting on their shailas
I did too, I don't know why , I never do , but this time I did.
Maybe that will make me feel more comfortable around him?
Idk -,- I just did !
Andd after 2 mins , that door got unlocked and he stepped in after his mom.
19 March 2012
O&K 9
I'm now in a place where I can't stand anyone.
I'm now in a place where I can't understand anything.
I'm now in a place where everything seems useless and retarded.
5awla; I SAID QUIT IT! I don't want to hear anything! Ure dancing like crazy having the time of your lives , clueless about the things that I'm going through.
They both looked at me , scared to move or talk.
I left the room and I spent the next two hours in yadoo's room. It was going to be hard , I know that I'm going to suffer , I know that I'm going to cry and isolate myslef mn el3alm , and I surely know that this pain would take weeks or months to heal.
At the end , I'll be forced to accept the fact that he belongs to another women. I have to move on and carry on being 5awla.
The weak 5awla. The innocent 5awla. The harmless 5awla.
Ill not try to hurt him or even think about taking revenge or RUINING his marriage
That's not 5awla even though I feel like stroking that shamma
I know that I'm not that girl.
I want him to be happy and live his life.
Maybe just maybe there's someone out there who's better for me , who suits me , who would be just perfect , who would make me and my FAMILY happy.
-----
*3mair*
3 weeks in America and let me tell you its been great.
The college is perfect, the people are friendly and social.
Its my place , its where I'm supposed to be.
I talk to m7md every 2 days, he updates me on elfamily w shu msween fe dbai bs he never brings her up so I don't bother asking.
When I came here , everything changed.
My way of thinking changed , like I'm kind of married now. I can't give her hopes and keep bringing her back to a place where she will suffer.
I called shamma and sorted things out.
I have no feelings to her at all but I respect her as a person.
She's funny , she's smart , and she's understanding.
Its not like I can't stand her and I can't live with her.
We can be together in the same house , I imagine us but I never imagine myself being inlove with someone other than 5awla.
5awla is my past , my present , and I hoped that she could be my future.
5awla would always have my heart , she would always be the one to make my heart beats so fast.
My heart belongs with her , I feel so bad that I can't give it to shamma.
I wouldn't dare to , my hearts home is between 5awla's arms.
Even though tfkeeri t'3yr , I'm still having doubts of going back
Will I have the strength to face her?
-----
Its been a year now , everything came back to normal.
My sobs and nonstop cries became tears and only tears.
Not getting enough sleep became a habbit and not because I'm in pain.
I go to uni , I eat , I drink , and I smile :)
A big imrpovement I would say.
3afra is happy , m7md is happy , and my parents are definitely happy.
Talking to guys and socializing is no longer impossible.
I have colleagues and classmates who are men. Respectful men.
'3yab 3mair taught me to be a strong woman.
It taught me that I can find happiness because there are people out there who cares about me and I don't need his love to be 5awla.
He should be coming back any time this week.
I've been practicing and waiting for this moment.
I'm scared that I would collapse and cry , I'm scared that I would get back to that gloomy scary place where nothing seems important.
What should I say, should I hug him? Or should I shake his hand? Or do nothing just say hi.
It would be awkward , it would feel embrassing.
I don't want to have feelings when I see him
I don't want to feel crushed again , I need to be normal.
Akeed he got over with it , he has a rebound I don't.
He has a women who he has to take care of but no one needs to take care of me.
Its my big loss here not his.
He never said good-bye before leaving
No text no calls not even a small thing with m7md nothing.
That broke my heart but he's moving on so why should I be stuck in this misery?!
------
* Moza is 3mair's mom, I think I mentioned it bs maybe nsaitu:p *
M7md; 5aloo bteen wla shu? Tra mt25reen 3la elrayal n7n!
Moza; walla 7mood ana mtbhdla! Its too much work! The dinner that's gonna happen after his return and somebody has to grab shamma to meet yadoo and the family!
M7md; enzeen yadoo t3rf shu tswi ! Don't worry just come downstairs and let's go to the airport.
Moza; maryyy! Don't forget to give the driver the food and other things I told u to take to yadoo's
For the millionth time , 5alo moza repeated that to her maid.
I don't know why she's worrying that much! I know she miss 3mair but she doesn't have to freak out.
Shamma will be there
Yadoo knows the plan
I guess everything will go with the flow.
I turned on the engine and she came in.
Moza; walla sam7ni 7mood , mno 3ndi '3airk!
M7md; la 3adii 5aloo 7beebti bs t25rna 3la 3mair wayd w t3rfen wldch may7b ytrya!
Moza; walla twlht 3la wldi
She smiled and I smiled back.
----
(Back at 5awlas house)
I was watching a series on TV , which I enjoyed a lot.
It was my first time and I didn't even know what's it about but I enjoyed it :)
Suddenly , u hear my mom screaming like crazy!
She nearly made my heart stop beating!
Ngzt mn mkani w I looked at her surprised
5awla; WHAT!
Mama; goomi goomi mt25reeen
She was walking by me , closing the tv
Mama; skri haa ! GOOMI 5awoool matsm3een
5awla; wain agoom mama:s shu feech
Mama; we need to go yalla !
5awla; what do u mean we need to go:s
Mama; bait yadoo yalla 5awla walla bythb7ooni
5awla; what:s I'm not going !
Mama; laish 3la kaifch!
5awla; mn mta t'39beni aseer 3nd yadoo mama! Ams kna 3ndhm! W mt'6arba wya 3afra so maba :)
Mama; seerri lbsi 5awla a7snlch! 3shan 5a6r 3mair enzen
And when I heard his name , everything seemed blurry and confusing!
Mama; byrd elyoum shu feech! Ma tbain tt3rfain 3la 56eebth 5awool! Yalla mama 3shani tra 7ram 5alo moza ! Wa3deenha n7n !
5awla; mama plz I don't want to go
Mama; 5awla shu feech! Mn mta che 3need
I stood up , threw the pillow and ran to my room
What she expects me to go and meet his fiance like nothing is wrong!
I don't want to see him! Why does he have to come back and ruin everything just why?!
I cried for the first time in what 8 months?
I cursed him and his bitch
I cursed and cursed and cursed!
But I'm done
I'm done crying
I'm done cursing
I'm done feeling bad
I'm done ignoring him
I'm done feeling SHITTY
I opened my closet
Grabbed anything amazing and got dressed
Put on make up
blow dried hair
DONE!
I'm doing this for me
You're doing this for you 5awla
You're gonna smile
Be happy
Get to know his fiance
And enjoy :)
I havt to just try my best to keep my heart at home and go their with my mind.
I'm now in a place where I can't understand anything.
I'm now in a place where everything seems useless and retarded.
5awla; I SAID QUIT IT! I don't want to hear anything! Ure dancing like crazy having the time of your lives , clueless about the things that I'm going through.
They both looked at me , scared to move or talk.
I left the room and I spent the next two hours in yadoo's room. It was going to be hard , I know that I'm going to suffer , I know that I'm going to cry and isolate myslef mn el3alm , and I surely know that this pain would take weeks or months to heal.
At the end , I'll be forced to accept the fact that he belongs to another women. I have to move on and carry on being 5awla.
The weak 5awla. The innocent 5awla. The harmless 5awla.
Ill not try to hurt him or even think about taking revenge or RUINING his marriage
That's not 5awla even though I feel like stroking that shamma
I know that I'm not that girl.
I want him to be happy and live his life.
Maybe just maybe there's someone out there who's better for me , who suits me , who would be just perfect , who would make me and my FAMILY happy.
-----
*3mair*
3 weeks in America and let me tell you its been great.
The college is perfect, the people are friendly and social.
Its my place , its where I'm supposed to be.
I talk to m7md every 2 days, he updates me on elfamily w shu msween fe dbai bs he never brings her up so I don't bother asking.
When I came here , everything changed.
My way of thinking changed , like I'm kind of married now. I can't give her hopes and keep bringing her back to a place where she will suffer.
I called shamma and sorted things out.
I have no feelings to her at all but I respect her as a person.
She's funny , she's smart , and she's understanding.
Its not like I can't stand her and I can't live with her.
We can be together in the same house , I imagine us but I never imagine myself being inlove with someone other than 5awla.
5awla is my past , my present , and I hoped that she could be my future.
5awla would always have my heart , she would always be the one to make my heart beats so fast.
My heart belongs with her , I feel so bad that I can't give it to shamma.
I wouldn't dare to , my hearts home is between 5awla's arms.
Even though tfkeeri t'3yr , I'm still having doubts of going back
Will I have the strength to face her?
-----
Its been a year now , everything came back to normal.
My sobs and nonstop cries became tears and only tears.
Not getting enough sleep became a habbit and not because I'm in pain.
I go to uni , I eat , I drink , and I smile :)
A big imrpovement I would say.
3afra is happy , m7md is happy , and my parents are definitely happy.
Talking to guys and socializing is no longer impossible.
I have colleagues and classmates who are men. Respectful men.
'3yab 3mair taught me to be a strong woman.
It taught me that I can find happiness because there are people out there who cares about me and I don't need his love to be 5awla.
He should be coming back any time this week.
I've been practicing and waiting for this moment.
I'm scared that I would collapse and cry , I'm scared that I would get back to that gloomy scary place where nothing seems important.
What should I say, should I hug him? Or should I shake his hand? Or do nothing just say hi.
It would be awkward , it would feel embrassing.
I don't want to have feelings when I see him
I don't want to feel crushed again , I need to be normal.
Akeed he got over with it , he has a rebound I don't.
He has a women who he has to take care of but no one needs to take care of me.
Its my big loss here not his.
He never said good-bye before leaving
No text no calls not even a small thing with m7md nothing.
That broke my heart but he's moving on so why should I be stuck in this misery?!
------
* Moza is 3mair's mom, I think I mentioned it bs maybe nsaitu:p *
M7md; 5aloo bteen wla shu? Tra mt25reen 3la elrayal n7n!
Moza; walla 7mood ana mtbhdla! Its too much work! The dinner that's gonna happen after his return and somebody has to grab shamma to meet yadoo and the family!
M7md; enzeen yadoo t3rf shu tswi ! Don't worry just come downstairs and let's go to the airport.
Moza; maryyy! Don't forget to give the driver the food and other things I told u to take to yadoo's
For the millionth time , 5alo moza repeated that to her maid.
I don't know why she's worrying that much! I know she miss 3mair but she doesn't have to freak out.
Shamma will be there
Yadoo knows the plan
I guess everything will go with the flow.
I turned on the engine and she came in.
Moza; walla sam7ni 7mood , mno 3ndi '3airk!
M7md; la 3adii 5aloo 7beebti bs t25rna 3la 3mair wayd w t3rfen wldch may7b ytrya!
Moza; walla twlht 3la wldi
She smiled and I smiled back.
----
(Back at 5awlas house)
I was watching a series on TV , which I enjoyed a lot.
It was my first time and I didn't even know what's it about but I enjoyed it :)
Suddenly , u hear my mom screaming like crazy!
She nearly made my heart stop beating!
Ngzt mn mkani w I looked at her surprised
5awla; WHAT!
Mama; goomi goomi mt25reeen
She was walking by me , closing the tv
Mama; skri haa ! GOOMI 5awoool matsm3een
5awla; wain agoom mama:s shu feech
Mama; we need to go yalla !
5awla; what do u mean we need to go:s
Mama; bait yadoo yalla 5awla walla bythb7ooni
5awla; what:s I'm not going !
Mama; laish 3la kaifch!
5awla; mn mta t'39beni aseer 3nd yadoo mama! Ams kna 3ndhm! W mt'6arba wya 3afra so maba :)
Mama; seerri lbsi 5awla a7snlch! 3shan 5a6r 3mair enzen
And when I heard his name , everything seemed blurry and confusing!
Mama; byrd elyoum shu feech! Ma tbain tt3rfain 3la 56eebth 5awool! Yalla mama 3shani tra 7ram 5alo moza ! Wa3deenha n7n !
5awla; mama plz I don't want to go
Mama; 5awla shu feech! Mn mta che 3need
I stood up , threw the pillow and ran to my room
What she expects me to go and meet his fiance like nothing is wrong!
I don't want to see him! Why does he have to come back and ruin everything just why?!
I cried for the first time in what 8 months?
I cursed him and his bitch
I cursed and cursed and cursed!
But I'm done
I'm done crying
I'm done cursing
I'm done feeling bad
I'm done ignoring him
I'm done feeling SHITTY
I opened my closet
Grabbed anything amazing and got dressed
Put on make up
blow dried hair
DONE!
I'm doing this for me
You're doing this for you 5awla
You're gonna smile
Be happy
Get to know his fiance
And enjoy :)
I havt to just try my best to keep my heart at home and go their with my mind.
10 March 2012
O&K 8
I left the beach house and got into the car , I couldn't drive. My body couldn't react properly to all of this. It was heart breaking to see 5awla cry hal kthr w mno m9y7nha! ANA!
UFF UFF UFF , I've hit the car more than once , my arm was turning into all shades of blue and purple.
The fact that me , 3mair , is getting married che mb yalsa edsh mu5i. I've always thought that I'd be the last one to and the girl would be chosen by me not be forced by my mother.
Even the thought of getting married made me think about 5awla, how can life be that cruel.
I'm a man and I don't know what to do. I feel weak and useless, I feel broken and humiliated , I feel that I just wanna shut my eyes and never wake up.
My phone started ringing again , I picked it up and it was shamma.
3mair; shu tbain enty shu tbain!!!
Fraait elfone w I got into the car. I rested my whole body against the seat and I closed my eyes.
I closed my eyes to feel safe for once
I closed my eyes to feel good for once
I closed my eyes to release all the pain that is inside of me
But a knock on the car's window made me open my eyes and distracted again.
It was m7md.
I've unlocked the car so he got up into the front seat next to me.
He looked at me with nothing to say.. What would he say y3ne?
3mair; 5ala9 '6a3t mn eydy 7mood
M7md; shoof 7altk 3mair ! Allah y5leek shoof shklk ! Hatha rayal! Et7ml koon gwii! Lw enth che 7altk , kaif 5awla?!
3mair; 7mood bs eskt! D5eelk enchab tra 7alti mool mb s"hla walla ! Yals atg63 mn da5l !
M7md; goom , 5lni asoog
We got up and switched places , I took out a cigarrate to smoke.
I feel like life is not even worth living anymore. Smoking would make me feel better.
M7md; rdaina ? W mn mtaa edoo5 3mair
3mair; mn elyoum 7mood mn elyoum 5ala9 mayhmni shay
M7md; ya5ii be a man for once !
3mair; la ttflsf 3lai l2nh 9dg mb mtfyj bksr elsyarah 3laik:@
He didn't reply , he drove with absolute silent.
3mair; a7bha m7md a7bha , galby y3wrni ya rayal..
He also ignored , how can he understand when he can't even feel my pain.
--
*3afra*
3afra; ya raby 5awool ehdai!
5awla; kaif ahda kaif :( a7bhhhh 3afoor a7bhh :( walla el3'6eem a7bh! Mat5yl 7yati bdoonh! Ana astaans l2nh ho mwjood:( bdoonh ma aswa shay wallah
She kept crying and crying , I was hugging her and trying to calm her down bs mashay fayda mn hal bnt
Jsmha kan yntf'6 ! 7raartha nar w mb ra'6ya 7ta trgd.
She would call his name every now and then and say that she loves him mn kl galbha
7altha 5ltnii at3wr nfsyn. Mgdr ashofha che ! Hay 5awool! She would always smile and act happy , she never did this! Its really uncomfortable to see her like this w ma3rf shu aswi!
M3rf kaif at9rf ,,,
I picked up my fone and I called m7md
--
Trrrn trrrn trrn trrrn
M7md; ha 3afoor tt9l.
He grabbed my attention , I looked at him and waited for him to talk and say anything!
M7md: aloo
3afra; aloo 7mood el7gni!
M7md; balach:s
3afra: wayd yalsa et9e7 7mood wna m3rf shu aswi! Che yalsa trtjf w 7rartha mrtf3a w kl shwei etgool esmh
M7md; ooh 9dg allah kash5a w b3dain
3afra: wtf 7mood! OOH is he next to you?
M7md; hayh hayh , fl thlaja foog btlgain elchocolate,
3afra: ok RANDOM haha bs please come back soon , 5ayfh.
M7md; enshallah yalla t9b7en 3la 5air.
3afra; gn:**
I looked at him , waiting for an explanation che enh what's happening but he gave me none.
3mair; shu tgool 3afra?
M7md; matgool shay..
3mair; 3yal laish mt9la?
M7md; ts2lni 3n el7alawa mal ams
3mair; enzen w ma galat shay 3n 5awla?
M7md; oh la 5awla is fine , sleeping
3mair; ohh ..
We arrived at my home , I said goodbye to m7md. He placed my car in the garage and took a cab back to the beach house.
D5lt elbait w 7mdt rabi enh elwalda ma kanat mwjooda t7t!
I don't want to see her or even talk to her.
I just want to travel and stay away from her
I went up the stairs slowly , hoping that she wouldn't be around
Moza/MOM; 3mair..
But she would appear like always :)
I turned around and looked at her.
Moza; mthl el7rami edsh elbait
I didn't reply , I just looked at her as if " w b3dain ?"
I love my mom , I really do love her but she became crazy l draja enh ma t'th8 feeni ka rayal!
Moza; laish ma trd 3la shamma?
3mair; OHOO WNA KL MA BSWI SHAY BTOON T7ASBOONI
Moza; GA9ER 9OOTK!
3mair; enzen ma rdait 3laiha .. B3dain?
Moza; et9l feeha elbnya t7ateek
3mair; enshalla.
I turned the other way so I can continue to go back on the stairs and head to my room but ..
Moza; ehtm feeha 3mair tra elbnya t7ba w sharytnk
3mair; walla ana mabaha w ma7ba w m7d 6elab mnch etswen shay ana mb ra'6i 3laih. Ana che wyaha mb 3aybnha kaifha
Moza; 5rbt rask bnt rashed ha? Jlbtk 3laina ha? W9lt feek elmwa9eel enh trf3 9ootk 3lai w t3andni 3mairo
3mair; mama please enty t3rfen ana aba mno w t3rfen laish che yals aswi
Moza; bs 5awla ma tnf3lk ! N7n shamma mn 9'3rk nbaha 7gk! Ma t'thkrha!
3mair; la ma athkrha wla aba athkrha ok?
Moza; 3mair 3shani mama bs 7awl ttfa3l wyaha
3mair; MAMA esm3eeni ana ma7bha !!!!!!
Moza; bt7bha
3mair; mno galch ! Ana galby ma yba '3air 5awla!
Moza: rdaina! 5awla w 5awla! Yl3n youmha
3mair; MAMA 3n el'3l6 bs ! Glti e56bha w 56bnaha , rmsha w rmsnaha now mmkn t5leni fe 7ali! La t5afain bntzwj :)
Moza; hayh che zain :) hatha 3mair
3mair; t9b7en 3la 5air
I headed to my room , locked the door , and layed on my bed.
Shu t5rf hay mama , how come mn 9'3ri abaha wna 7ta ma3rfha
Ya allah. Mno shamma hay:s mta shayfnha ana :s
And it starting getting back to me...
Does she mean that shamma :O oh it couldn't be
That tiny shamma :s
The shamma that I used to joke at and throw things at.
The shamma that we would go to every friday after lunch @ yadoo's with 5awool, 3afoor, and 7mood.
I smiled at the memories and how I was so clueless
But they disappeared fj2a, I don't remember them growing up.
Shamma is a family friend . Her father is my father's bestfreind.
When it started getting to me , it made me hate our marriage even more.
I don't want to hurt a person that I care about.
Shamma was a childhood friend.
I started searching for my phone but remembered that it was thrown and damaged god knows where.
Tommorow would be your last day here 3mair, your last day so just go with it.
You would sleep and next day you'd find yourself in the airplane on your way to america for 2 years.
----
3afra; 5AWOOL BS!
M7md; 5awla esm3eeni baba , shoofi , 3mair is fine , you should be fine too!
5awla; GO OUT! Mabakm
3afra; I'm not leaving you like this 5awla!
I was crying over my lost stupid love , I was crying over my broken heart and my messed up feelings.
Why can't O&K work out why? What's so wrong and stupid about us?
I just want an answer , an answer that would make me go "oooooh" an answer that would erase the pain from my heart.
I sat down on the couch and hugged the pillow , closed my eyes , and ignored their yells and stupid advices about 3mair.
I know they think I'm acting like a kid but they don't understand a thing , they don't feel a thing , they didn't go through this shit ! I did , its all me over here.
I've been this innocent girl, protecting myself from all these mad men out there , I've been so goood , I've been loyal to my god and to my family even my friends.
How can such a cruel thing happen to me?
I don't think I deserve that much pain. Its unfair!
I closed my eyes, hoping just hoping that tommorow I would wake up and all of this would be a dream.
Ya 5sara ya 7beebi ya 3mair '6a3t b 7ubk sneeni.
-----
*3mair*
I woke up the nest day feeling like a mess. I have no phone , my bag is not packed and I don't even feel like traveling.
I sat on my wooden chair , grabbed a piece of paper and a black pen.
I wrote for her , I can't go without saying anything.
Today is friday so akeed 7mood byrw7 bait yadoo and shell be there.
I thought before leaving , giving this letter to m7md and hed give it to her.
It went like this ;
5awooli , 7ayati , 3mry ,
Yes, I may be leaving you for a while and I may return and not find the chance to talk to you alone but you need to know that my heart will always belong with you. Its been with you for so long and it can't beat for any other person. Take care 7beebti w la t'6aygain 3shani maybe its for the best. Enty adra eny a7bch w enh m7tajnch fe hal ftra toogfeen wyay bs eldnya frgtna. Frgt ethnain malhm thanb. La tnsaini, 76i nfsch mkani 5awool, tra 93ba w 7alah tksr elgalb. wya hal letter b36i 7mood my hoddie ely wayd et7beenh so 5leh 3ndch. Atmna walla enh dnyti etkoon doom wyach. Galby tmnach w b'3ach , mlkti galby walla w mb 3arf kaif che a5lech 7g '3airy. Aba a7s b lthat el7ub wyach w bs wyach. A6l3 chthaab w chthaab w chthaab lw youm glt eny mabach, walla chathab 5awla. W don't do things I don't approve of , mb ana mb mwjood etseren etswen ashya ana ma7bha , e3tbrai eny mwjood y3ne mb kl shwei t6l3een w rb3ch w mdri shu. Maaw9ech 3la roo7ch w bs , shu agool b3d 5awool . Ely fe galby wayd wayd bs ma b6wl 3laich.
a7bch , a7bch , a7bch ,
- 3mair
I kissed the letter and headed to the shower.
After the shower , I placed any extra things I need into the bag and headed downstairs.
I heard mama's voice wna nazl mn elstairs.
I kissed her head and said my good-bye to her
She started crying and saying that she's sorry for being mean and strict but that would be better for me.
Moza; 9dgni 3mair tra 5awla ma tnasbna
3mair; la eteben 6areha mama w 5ala9.
Moza; enzen la tnsa tt9l fe shamma 3shani mama
3mair; telfooni farnh mkan w '6ay3
Moza: walla w ana kaif brmsk wnth hnak?
3mair; la a7eenh fl m6ar ba5thli fone w 3ndi ra8am already so bs b6rshlch msg
Moza; ok mama
I called m7md from the bait phone
M7md; 9ba7 al5air
3mair; ay 5air
M7md; tfaa2l -.-
3mair; enzen yalla wiank?
M7md; yalla b3d 5 dgayg e6l3
3mair; bye
I closed the fone , grabbed a sandwich from the kitchen , took a bite while waiting for m7md.
He came after 15 minutes , I got into the car and the maid placed the bag fl dabah
3mair; mtt mn el7ar ! 5 mins wyahk!
M7md; za7ma enzen shu asweelk
He drove , I took out the letter and gave it to him
3mair: 36ha haa w elhoddie plz
He took the letter and kept it in his pocket
He threw the hoddie wra
3mair; mb tnsa 7mood
M7md; ok
I looked at the streets of dubai , I would miss my country w 59oo9an eny mt3lg feha. Ma7b asafr l2nh mashay mthl dbai fl dnya. Everything is around u and u can go anywhere and enjoy.
We arrived , I took my bag , hugged my bro , and headed to america.
-----
After giving 3mair a ride to the airport , m7md headed to his grandma's house where the family would always meet.
Its the first time he goes there without 3mair. It feels weird and he feels lonely without his best man but this is life.
Before stepping out of the car , he grabbed the hoddie and went inside.
He greeted everyone and kissed his yadoo's head.
Moza; ha m7md ! W9lt 3mair?
M7md; hayh 5alo w gal by6rshlch ra8mah
Moza; zain 7beebi
Yadoo: walla w bntwlh 3laik ya 3mair w 3la 7rkaatk ! Sntaian bdoonh t9dgoon walla mb shay! Hoo y7li eljaw hni! Fdait wldi walla ana
M7md; wna yadooh shu enshallah! Decore?
Everyone laughed but 5awla teared.
Everyone smiled but 5awla frowned.
I looked at 5awla and my heart ached for my poor cousin.
She kept looking at the hoddie, and I had to do something with it.
I won't give it to her , no I won't . She just needs to forget
M7md; 5alo moza , 3mair nasi haa fl syarah
Moza; shkrn 7mood.
She took the sweater and 5awla's face changed colors.
I knew she wanted that, she expected it to be hers but no it wasn't.
I broke a promise to 3mair but that shouldve happened.
I'm not giving her that letter either , shee needs to stop thinking about him.
5awla's sad face grabbed everyone's attention , they knew she was attached to him.
Yadoo; t3ali 5awla
5awla stood up and went to her yadoo, she cried in her arms and yadoo couldn't do anything about it. 3mair is gone anyways.
Moza; bs 9ya7 la ! 7g drasth b3d shu! Yalla nt'3da?
Yadoo gave 5aloo moza a mad look and 5alo moza shreiked.
------
I kept looking at m7md , hoping that hed grab my arm , take me b3eed 3nhm and say anything about him but he didn't.
He didn't say anything to me.
I felt lonely by the second.
I went looking for the girls so I headed upstairs.
I opened the door and I saw dana and 3afoor dancing like crazy
The sound of rashed almajed filling the room
Dana; 5loooh 3la kaifh ydwrr '3airrry yrtaa7 w artaa7 ana mn tfkeeri!
3afra; ma fad la 7uby w la t8derri mabeeh 7ta lw t3na w jaanii
Dana; 3ashawwww 3ashaaaawww
3afra; ma7booooobi mshaa w 5laaani
Dana+3afoor; yoooo daaaan yoo daaaanh waa daaanh daaaaniii yoo daaaaan ahaaa ahaaa
Dana; ymeeeeen , ysaaaar
They were moving like crazy :s the music was so loud that they didn't notice me coming in
Dana; walllaa shklh mn elbdayaaa 5aaynn!
3afra; 5daaa3 yaa danooo! Mafe shay fe 3ainh baayn
How could they do this?! I'm crying and suffering and dying here w they leave me alone and go dancing! Listening to stupid music!
I coudlnt handle it
5awla; QUIT THE MUSIC!
I screamed.
UFF UFF UFF , I've hit the car more than once , my arm was turning into all shades of blue and purple.
The fact that me , 3mair , is getting married che mb yalsa edsh mu5i. I've always thought that I'd be the last one to and the girl would be chosen by me not be forced by my mother.
Even the thought of getting married made me think about 5awla, how can life be that cruel.
I'm a man and I don't know what to do. I feel weak and useless, I feel broken and humiliated , I feel that I just wanna shut my eyes and never wake up.
My phone started ringing again , I picked it up and it was shamma.
3mair; shu tbain enty shu tbain!!!
Fraait elfone w I got into the car. I rested my whole body against the seat and I closed my eyes.
I closed my eyes to feel safe for once
I closed my eyes to feel good for once
I closed my eyes to release all the pain that is inside of me
But a knock on the car's window made me open my eyes and distracted again.
It was m7md.
I've unlocked the car so he got up into the front seat next to me.
He looked at me with nothing to say.. What would he say y3ne?
3mair; 5ala9 '6a3t mn eydy 7mood
M7md; shoof 7altk 3mair ! Allah y5leek shoof shklk ! Hatha rayal! Et7ml koon gwii! Lw enth che 7altk , kaif 5awla?!
3mair; 7mood bs eskt! D5eelk enchab tra 7alti mool mb s"hla walla ! Yals atg63 mn da5l !
M7md; goom , 5lni asoog
We got up and switched places , I took out a cigarrate to smoke.
I feel like life is not even worth living anymore. Smoking would make me feel better.
M7md; rdaina ? W mn mtaa edoo5 3mair
3mair; mn elyoum 7mood mn elyoum 5ala9 mayhmni shay
M7md; ya5ii be a man for once !
3mair; la ttflsf 3lai l2nh 9dg mb mtfyj bksr elsyarah 3laik:@
He didn't reply , he drove with absolute silent.
3mair; a7bha m7md a7bha , galby y3wrni ya rayal..
He also ignored , how can he understand when he can't even feel my pain.
--
*3afra*
3afra; ya raby 5awool ehdai!
5awla; kaif ahda kaif :( a7bhhhh 3afoor a7bhh :( walla el3'6eem a7bh! Mat5yl 7yati bdoonh! Ana astaans l2nh ho mwjood:( bdoonh ma aswa shay wallah
She kept crying and crying , I was hugging her and trying to calm her down bs mashay fayda mn hal bnt
Jsmha kan yntf'6 ! 7raartha nar w mb ra'6ya 7ta trgd.
She would call his name every now and then and say that she loves him mn kl galbha
7altha 5ltnii at3wr nfsyn. Mgdr ashofha che ! Hay 5awool! She would always smile and act happy , she never did this! Its really uncomfortable to see her like this w ma3rf shu aswi!
M3rf kaif at9rf ,,,
I picked up my fone and I called m7md
--
Trrrn trrrn trrn trrrn
M7md; ha 3afoor tt9l.
He grabbed my attention , I looked at him and waited for him to talk and say anything!
M7md: aloo
3afra; aloo 7mood el7gni!
M7md; balach:s
3afra: wayd yalsa et9e7 7mood wna m3rf shu aswi! Che yalsa trtjf w 7rartha mrtf3a w kl shwei etgool esmh
M7md; ooh 9dg allah kash5a w b3dain
3afra: wtf 7mood! OOH is he next to you?
M7md; hayh hayh , fl thlaja foog btlgain elchocolate,
3afra: ok RANDOM haha bs please come back soon , 5ayfh.
M7md; enshallah yalla t9b7en 3la 5air.
3afra; gn:**
I looked at him , waiting for an explanation che enh what's happening but he gave me none.
3mair; shu tgool 3afra?
M7md; matgool shay..
3mair; 3yal laish mt9la?
M7md; ts2lni 3n el7alawa mal ams
3mair; enzen w ma galat shay 3n 5awla?
M7md; oh la 5awla is fine , sleeping
3mair; ohh ..
We arrived at my home , I said goodbye to m7md. He placed my car in the garage and took a cab back to the beach house.
D5lt elbait w 7mdt rabi enh elwalda ma kanat mwjooda t7t!
I don't want to see her or even talk to her.
I just want to travel and stay away from her
I went up the stairs slowly , hoping that she wouldn't be around
Moza/MOM; 3mair..
But she would appear like always :)
I turned around and looked at her.
Moza; mthl el7rami edsh elbait
I didn't reply , I just looked at her as if " w b3dain ?"
I love my mom , I really do love her but she became crazy l draja enh ma t'th8 feeni ka rayal!
Moza; laish ma trd 3la shamma?
3mair; OHOO WNA KL MA BSWI SHAY BTOON T7ASBOONI
Moza; GA9ER 9OOTK!
3mair; enzen ma rdait 3laiha .. B3dain?
Moza; et9l feeha elbnya t7ateek
3mair; enshalla.
I turned the other way so I can continue to go back on the stairs and head to my room but ..
Moza; ehtm feeha 3mair tra elbnya t7ba w sharytnk
3mair; walla ana mabaha w ma7ba w m7d 6elab mnch etswen shay ana mb ra'6i 3laih. Ana che wyaha mb 3aybnha kaifha
Moza; 5rbt rask bnt rashed ha? Jlbtk 3laina ha? W9lt feek elmwa9eel enh trf3 9ootk 3lai w t3andni 3mairo
3mair; mama please enty t3rfen ana aba mno w t3rfen laish che yals aswi
Moza; bs 5awla ma tnf3lk ! N7n shamma mn 9'3rk nbaha 7gk! Ma t'thkrha!
3mair; la ma athkrha wla aba athkrha ok?
Moza; 3mair 3shani mama bs 7awl ttfa3l wyaha
3mair; MAMA esm3eeni ana ma7bha !!!!!!
Moza; bt7bha
3mair; mno galch ! Ana galby ma yba '3air 5awla!
Moza: rdaina! 5awla w 5awla! Yl3n youmha
3mair; MAMA 3n el'3l6 bs ! Glti e56bha w 56bnaha , rmsha w rmsnaha now mmkn t5leni fe 7ali! La t5afain bntzwj :)
Moza; hayh che zain :) hatha 3mair
3mair; t9b7en 3la 5air
I headed to my room , locked the door , and layed on my bed.
Shu t5rf hay mama , how come mn 9'3ri abaha wna 7ta ma3rfha
Ya allah. Mno shamma hay:s mta shayfnha ana :s
And it starting getting back to me...
Does she mean that shamma :O oh it couldn't be
That tiny shamma :s
The shamma that I used to joke at and throw things at.
The shamma that we would go to every friday after lunch @ yadoo's with 5awool, 3afoor, and 7mood.
I smiled at the memories and how I was so clueless
But they disappeared fj2a, I don't remember them growing up.
Shamma is a family friend . Her father is my father's bestfreind.
When it started getting to me , it made me hate our marriage even more.
I don't want to hurt a person that I care about.
Shamma was a childhood friend.
I started searching for my phone but remembered that it was thrown and damaged god knows where.
Tommorow would be your last day here 3mair, your last day so just go with it.
You would sleep and next day you'd find yourself in the airplane on your way to america for 2 years.
----
3afra; 5AWOOL BS!
M7md; 5awla esm3eeni baba , shoofi , 3mair is fine , you should be fine too!
5awla; GO OUT! Mabakm
3afra; I'm not leaving you like this 5awla!
I was crying over my lost stupid love , I was crying over my broken heart and my messed up feelings.
Why can't O&K work out why? What's so wrong and stupid about us?
I just want an answer , an answer that would make me go "oooooh" an answer that would erase the pain from my heart.
I sat down on the couch and hugged the pillow , closed my eyes , and ignored their yells and stupid advices about 3mair.
I know they think I'm acting like a kid but they don't understand a thing , they don't feel a thing , they didn't go through this shit ! I did , its all me over here.
I've been this innocent girl, protecting myself from all these mad men out there , I've been so goood , I've been loyal to my god and to my family even my friends.
How can such a cruel thing happen to me?
I don't think I deserve that much pain. Its unfair!
I closed my eyes, hoping just hoping that tommorow I would wake up and all of this would be a dream.
Ya 5sara ya 7beebi ya 3mair '6a3t b 7ubk sneeni.
-----
*3mair*
I woke up the nest day feeling like a mess. I have no phone , my bag is not packed and I don't even feel like traveling.
I sat on my wooden chair , grabbed a piece of paper and a black pen.
I wrote for her , I can't go without saying anything.
Today is friday so akeed 7mood byrw7 bait yadoo and shell be there.
I thought before leaving , giving this letter to m7md and hed give it to her.
It went like this ;
5awooli , 7ayati , 3mry ,
Yes, I may be leaving you for a while and I may return and not find the chance to talk to you alone but you need to know that my heart will always belong with you. Its been with you for so long and it can't beat for any other person. Take care 7beebti w la t'6aygain 3shani maybe its for the best. Enty adra eny a7bch w enh m7tajnch fe hal ftra toogfeen wyay bs eldnya frgtna. Frgt ethnain malhm thanb. La tnsaini, 76i nfsch mkani 5awool, tra 93ba w 7alah tksr elgalb. wya hal letter b36i 7mood my hoddie ely wayd et7beenh so 5leh 3ndch. Atmna walla enh dnyti etkoon doom wyach. Galby tmnach w b'3ach , mlkti galby walla w mb 3arf kaif che a5lech 7g '3airy. Aba a7s b lthat el7ub wyach w bs wyach. A6l3 chthaab w chthaab w chthaab lw youm glt eny mabach, walla chathab 5awla. W don't do things I don't approve of , mb ana mb mwjood etseren etswen ashya ana ma7bha , e3tbrai eny mwjood y3ne mb kl shwei t6l3een w rb3ch w mdri shu. Maaw9ech 3la roo7ch w bs , shu agool b3d 5awool . Ely fe galby wayd wayd bs ma b6wl 3laich.
a7bch , a7bch , a7bch ,
- 3mair
I kissed the letter and headed to the shower.
After the shower , I placed any extra things I need into the bag and headed downstairs.
I heard mama's voice wna nazl mn elstairs.
I kissed her head and said my good-bye to her
She started crying and saying that she's sorry for being mean and strict but that would be better for me.
Moza; 9dgni 3mair tra 5awla ma tnasbna
3mair; la eteben 6areha mama w 5ala9.
Moza; enzen la tnsa tt9l fe shamma 3shani mama
3mair; telfooni farnh mkan w '6ay3
Moza: walla w ana kaif brmsk wnth hnak?
3mair; la a7eenh fl m6ar ba5thli fone w 3ndi ra8am already so bs b6rshlch msg
Moza; ok mama
I called m7md from the bait phone
M7md; 9ba7 al5air
3mair; ay 5air
M7md; tfaa2l -.-
3mair; enzen yalla wiank?
M7md; yalla b3d 5 dgayg e6l3
3mair; bye
I closed the fone , grabbed a sandwich from the kitchen , took a bite while waiting for m7md.
He came after 15 minutes , I got into the car and the maid placed the bag fl dabah
3mair; mtt mn el7ar ! 5 mins wyahk!
M7md; za7ma enzen shu asweelk
He drove , I took out the letter and gave it to him
3mair: 36ha haa w elhoddie plz
He took the letter and kept it in his pocket
He threw the hoddie wra
3mair; mb tnsa 7mood
M7md; ok
I looked at the streets of dubai , I would miss my country w 59oo9an eny mt3lg feha. Ma7b asafr l2nh mashay mthl dbai fl dnya. Everything is around u and u can go anywhere and enjoy.
We arrived , I took my bag , hugged my bro , and headed to america.
-----
After giving 3mair a ride to the airport , m7md headed to his grandma's house where the family would always meet.
Its the first time he goes there without 3mair. It feels weird and he feels lonely without his best man but this is life.
Before stepping out of the car , he grabbed the hoddie and went inside.
He greeted everyone and kissed his yadoo's head.
Moza; ha m7md ! W9lt 3mair?
M7md; hayh 5alo w gal by6rshlch ra8mah
Moza; zain 7beebi
Yadoo: walla w bntwlh 3laik ya 3mair w 3la 7rkaatk ! Sntaian bdoonh t9dgoon walla mb shay! Hoo y7li eljaw hni! Fdait wldi walla ana
M7md; wna yadooh shu enshallah! Decore?
Everyone laughed but 5awla teared.
Everyone smiled but 5awla frowned.
I looked at 5awla and my heart ached for my poor cousin.
She kept looking at the hoddie, and I had to do something with it.
I won't give it to her , no I won't . She just needs to forget
M7md; 5alo moza , 3mair nasi haa fl syarah
Moza; shkrn 7mood.
She took the sweater and 5awla's face changed colors.
I knew she wanted that, she expected it to be hers but no it wasn't.
I broke a promise to 3mair but that shouldve happened.
I'm not giving her that letter either , shee needs to stop thinking about him.
5awla's sad face grabbed everyone's attention , they knew she was attached to him.
Yadoo; t3ali 5awla
5awla stood up and went to her yadoo, she cried in her arms and yadoo couldn't do anything about it. 3mair is gone anyways.
Moza; bs 9ya7 la ! 7g drasth b3d shu! Yalla nt'3da?
Yadoo gave 5aloo moza a mad look and 5alo moza shreiked.
------
I kept looking at m7md , hoping that hed grab my arm , take me b3eed 3nhm and say anything about him but he didn't.
He didn't say anything to me.
I felt lonely by the second.
I went looking for the girls so I headed upstairs.
I opened the door and I saw dana and 3afoor dancing like crazy
The sound of rashed almajed filling the room
Dana; 5loooh 3la kaifh ydwrr '3airrry yrtaa7 w artaa7 ana mn tfkeeri!
3afra; ma fad la 7uby w la t8derri mabeeh 7ta lw t3na w jaanii
Dana; 3ashawwww 3ashaaaawww
3afra; ma7booooobi mshaa w 5laaani
Dana+3afoor; yoooo daaaan yoo daaaanh waa daaanh daaaaniii yoo daaaaan ahaaa ahaaa
Dana; ymeeeeen , ysaaaar
They were moving like crazy :s the music was so loud that they didn't notice me coming in
Dana; walllaa shklh mn elbdayaaa 5aaynn!
3afra; 5daaa3 yaa danooo! Mafe shay fe 3ainh baayn
How could they do this?! I'm crying and suffering and dying here w they leave me alone and go dancing! Listening to stupid music!
I coudlnt handle it
5awla; QUIT THE MUSIC!
I screamed.
27 February 2012
O&K 7
*5awla*
Now he leaves me again , he keeps hurting me OVER and OVER again!
What does he want from me! Why does he keep doing this why?!
I'm really sick of this, fuck him and fuck his love.
I threw his blanket away and I stood up. I wiped the tears that were about to fall down my cheeks.
I'm not going to cry anymore, I'm not going to feel bad or feel devestated.
Before I open the door, I looked back at his room. I don't know what happened to me suddenly, I didn't have the courage to leave. His room reminds me of him, its my lovers places. It keeps me warm and safe. I removed my hand from the doors handle and went to his closet.
I grabbed a hoddie that he'd always wear w '6maaith l 7'6ni!
Aah his smell, his perfume , it makes me go insane.
Tears appeared again , I can't control myself. Astwi wayd 7saash youm "3mair" is in the problem.
I keep telling myself to be strong , to don't ever let a guy do this to me but he's not any guy, he's my only guy. I'm not the kind of person that would cry over stupid love but again its not like any other love.
3mair had always been my whole life.
If I playback my whole life , you would see him everywhere. He was with me from the age of 2 lain al7een.
But ill try to act strong.
3afra; 3maaairr!!!!! Khawlaaa !!!!! Where are u!! Dinner is ready!
3afoor's voice woke me up , it made me shiver. If she enters and sees this , she's gonna make a joke out of it. She doesn't believe in us and I don't blame her. I don't believe in us either , he's just a misery that I don't wanna keep up with anymore.
I wiped my tears and I vowed not to cry over him ever again. Its not the first time enh yjr7ni w I bet it wouldn't be the last time. Let him leave just go to fucking america and don't come back!
I threw his hoddie away and I hesitated whether to open the door. Maba ashoofh. Please god don't make this more awkward.
I slowly pressed on the door's handle and took a small peek.
I captured 7mood and 3afoor but no sign of the ass.
I felt releaved and I went to sit down next to 3afoor.
I grabbed a slice of pizza and grabbed the remote to change that boring channel 7mood had on.
3afra; feeling better 7ayati?
5awla; yup way way better! Actually I'm feeling happy like this heavy weight is not there anymore
3afra; woow kl ha mn elrgad
5awla; yup
I tried not to cry , I tried to lie and act strong. I don't wanna be the weak 5awla anymore. I want to change , I want to live my life. My life doesn't revolve around 3mair alx bs , It needs others. I need to open my heart and not be afraid. I need to socialize and enjoy my life without his presence.
7mood; agool 5awool
5awla; goool 7mood goool allah y5leeek gool
I laughed and 3afra laughed too
3afra; wayh 5awool shu estwabch hahah:p
5awla; 3n la ygool bs!
We laughed again and he gave us the nastiest look ever.
M7md; mno sm7lch t'3yren el8anah w t6nzain b3d 7'6rtch?
5awla; kaify -.-"
3afra; 3ad 7mood ely knt etshoofh is the definition of boredom.
M7md; 3afoor , take my side babe. Were in this together B)
3afra; enshallah 7aaayaaatiiiii
M7md; 7beebti gooly 7g bnt 5altch t36eeeni elremote
3afra; mn 3yoon 7beebtk wallah
I laughed all along , they do this ALWAYS. They act all lovey dovey and che but let me tell u its FUNNY!
Like u see 3afraaa flirting , which u would never get to see always. She's always serious w mathmha hal swalf but when she does it , OMG !
5awla; bs walla b6ni 3wrni mn el'67k ! Hahahaha
3afra; 36i elremotr 7g 7beebi yalla :@@@
I couldn't even move mn el'67k so she had to get up w ta5th elremote broo7ha! I knew they wanted to laugh so hard but holding it in.
3afra went to m7md , kissed his cheeks
3afra; hak 7beebi
M7md; fdaaitch 7ubyy
I started calming down w 6al3thm -.-
5awla; ok now stop its so EWW!
3afra; eww wayhch enzeen. Aayh 7moodi shoof shu etgool hay
She did that sad puppy face and m7md sawa 3mrh m39b w awwnh planning to hit me with the pillow
I ran away while laughing at my stupid very very stupid cousins. I heard them laughing too.
I went out to the beach , it was really dark. I wondered where he was. Mn kthr el'67k I slightly forgot about him for a minute.
I walked for what seemed like ages. My legs were hurting me mn elmashi but it was worth it.
Eljaw rw3aa w hdoo2 mashay 7d, next to our beach house shay house mal shabab kwaityeen.
Eyoon from time to time. I love them, they're so funny but I never get to hang out l2nh 3mair may5leeni. They're like super hot and super sweet. I miss them b3d .. mn zmaan ma shftthm. I walked by their house and I saw some open lights. I wondered if they where their but it couldn't be. Maybe 7d dash yn'6f or shay l2nh Rose she comes and cleans every beach house when she's told so by her bosses so I guess its rose.
I was heading back to our beach house , I got really scared and started running. A5aaaf mn eldarkness
While I was running , I bumped into something hard and strong l draja enh rasi 3wrni w 7ta jsmi -,-"
5awla; matshoof!!!!
I started screaming even though I didn't know mno kan hal ensan
***; la ashoof bs enty matshoofen
5awla; 3mair:o
3mair; wain knti?
5awla; may59k
I left him and started walking forward but he held my arm and pushed me back infront of him
3mair; 5awla latklmeni che
5awla; hdd eydy 3mair
3mair; as2lch wain knti
I tried to let go of my hand , ylst arfsh w a'6rbh l2ni 9dg wayd knt m39bh mnh!
5awla; LEAVE ME ALONE!
3mair: 5AWLA!
And I froze.
No words could describe my fear al7en.
5awla; en zen h d ni
3mair; 2a5r mrh bs2lch 5awool
5awla; KNT ATMSHA enzen!
3mair; ttmshain n9 ellaail broo7ch?
5awla; hayh shu feeha
He came very close to me , his face SO CLOSE to mine and he whispered
3mair; youm ana aklmch , la trad'deen
I coudlnt reply now , I just looked at him , I looked at his eyes. He looked mad.
I closed my eyes and I whispered back.
5awla; enta may59k feni ok! Enth 2a5r wa7d trms !
He came closer
He grabbed my arm and he started pushing me behind our beach house to the wall.
I was really scared.
His touch made me shiver.
3mair; lat5leni aswi shay maba asweh 5awla
5awla; shu 3ma ir sh u t ba mn I
he placed his head on my shoulders and into my neck
He started whispering things that made me so weak , I was about to fall.
His breath ya allah
3mair; t3ban ana 5awla t3ban
Lfait rasii w I kissed his ears
5awla; enzen ana hni , gooly shu feek , gooly shu mt3bnk
I was about to cry but no I'm not crying anymore.
I find myself hating him then loving him back again.
I pushed him away and I sat down on the floor because I was just tired mnh , tired mn al'3azh
My face was on my knees. He's not the only one suffering.
He came and sat right next to me.
He started swearing and saying things that I couldn't even understand.
His fone rang fj2a and he wouldn't reply.
His ringtone made me go insane!
Rf3t rasi
5awla; would u just reply y3ne?!
He just looked at me and then looked back down
It kept ringing mostly che an hour or so
I got angry so I grabbed his fone and I answered immedietly
5awla; 3mair is gonna call u back , bye
And when I was about to hang up , the caller spoke and I wish he didn't or may I say " she "
Girl; aloo 7beebi
I looked at him with complete shock , my hands were shaking
The fact that 3mair has a girl in mind and he's playing around with me made me feel sick. Completely sick.
I looked at the fone and there was " shamma ".
Shamma; ohoo aloo 3mair waink
And 3mair was a mess , he looked weak. He didn't even try to explain anything or a9ln does he have anything to explain.
Am I overreacting? Were not even officially a couple 9a7?
But why! He knows that I have feelings for him! Why do this to me 3mair why?
I gave him the fone and I walked away.
I walked away with tears, I vowed not to cry over him but how can I? How can he do this to me just HOW?
I was walking really fast like running not even walking. He didn't even call me or try to stop me.
--
*3mair*
I threw the fone away and I punched the wall a couple of times.
Laish mama , laish che tsween feena ? Laish t76meen wldch , laish tksreen 5a6rh! I can't stay here any longer. I can't hurt her , she makes me want her kl thanya akthr w akthr wna a3wrhaa b af3ali!
Uff ya dnya laish t'6lmeena ..
I can't even say good-bye to her now. I can't look at her walla m7d 7as feeni. A7eenh tt7rani wa7d 5ays 78eer ! Ya allah ufff
I started walking to our beach house , when I was about to go in.
I saw her sitting next to 3afra and crying really hard.
I over heard their conversation ;
3afra; omg 5awool goolyly balach! Aba afhm ma tshb3en 9ya7!
M7md; 5awla shu mstwi ! Yalsa t5wfeena
5awla; t5ylw entu bs t5ylw! 6laa3 y7b w7dh esmhaa shammaa t5ylw :( che yswi feeni cheee ! Ana 5awlaaa che yswi feeni ! 63nii thb7nii jr7nii 3afoor bamoot:( galby y7rgni y3wrnii wayd :( mdri kaif yalsa atnfs a9ln ! Walla t3banah walla w ygooly enh t3baan! Ely t3baan yseer yswi che! Laish lazm yt3bni laish! I wanna go back home! I'm hating this fucking house!
M7md; 5awool I'm gonna tell u now something but ull have to be super strong! I know u can't handle hearing it now bs hal shay lazm tsm3eenh
I knew What m7md was about to say but he shouldn't be the one saying it ...
I entered and all faces looked at me .
She was angry!
5awla; e6l3 br3 3maair ! Mabaaa ashoofk e6l3!
3mair; bs esm3eeni!
5awla; maba mabaaa :( bs 5lni fe 7ali akrhk tfhm shu y3ne akrhk yal ..
3mair; ESM3I ! Hal shay '3a9bn 3ni w shamma 56eebti! '39booni 2a5th'ha '39booni asafr '39booni enzeen! Youm agoolch t3ban y3ne 9dg t3ban ! Tt7rain ely yals yswti 3aybni ! Tt7rain ely yals amr feeh shay s'hl! Tt7rain ench matkoonen 7gi shayy ma y3wr! I've been suffering for 2 months w m7d 7ass feni!
She looked at me , she stood up and came next to me
She held my face and she smiled with tears
5awla; yals tt'3shmr wyay 9a7 3mair! Bs tba t'6aygni w tl3wzni 9a7 ! Hay mb 56ebtk 9a7!
She laughed and she tried wiping her tears
5awla; enth 7gii wna 7gk 9a7? Jawbni 3mair 9a7?
M7md; la mb 9a7 5awool! Mb 9a7! 5ala9 hal shay mstwi mnzman w mb eydh elrayal. Lazm tbt3doon 3n b3'6 w matkbroon elsalfh !
3afra; m7md I'm confused , how can he be engaged w w laish y'39boonh!
3mair; l2nh 7'6rthm ma yt5yloon eny akoon wyaha mthl ma enty ya 3afra ma tt5ylain. The fact that O&K are lovers is not possible to them. 5awla is just my cousins and that's all. She can't be more or less. Hatha 8anoon mama , ma tba 5awla, ma tba O&K!
5awla; omg 3mair I can't take in all of this I can't!
3mair; ylsi 5awool w breathe
5awla; leave me 3mair , u can't ask me to sit down and breathe because u just ruined my whole life. U just broke a dream that I've been wanting my whole life. Its like You just told me that I can't be breathe normally because ur not gonna be with me.
3mair; 7awlt a'3yr rayha 5awla walla el3a'6eem 7awlt ! Mb ra'6ya w umch b3d w ubooch w 5alch w 3mamch. Elkl raf'6 ! Amoot w a3rf laish bs malna n9eeb 7bebti , malna n9eeb.
I kissed her head and she cried even more.
5awla; just go 3mair just go , I wish u happiness.
3mair; bachr msafr ..
5awla; too9l blslama w allah ywfgk
She looked at 3afra
5awla; 3afoor aba argd wadeeni my room
3afra came close to 5awla and she held her hand
3afra; yalla t3ali
I looked at 5awla
3mair; ttm95rain 5awla! Btrgden?
5awla; hayh brgd can u just leave?
3mair; don't worry ill be leaving for a long time
I came close to her , I placed my head on her shoulders
I whispered
3mair; a7bch 5awla
And I kissed her neck before leaving.
--
*5awla*
He just told me the thing that I've always wanted to hear.
I can't let him go
I can't
5awla; 3 ma ir
He turned around and I ran to him , I hugged him a tight hug and I started crying all over again.
5awla; ill miss u 3mair ill miss u :(
He held my face and he looked into my eyes.
3mair; take care enzen 7bebti , lat5len 7d yz3lch w y9y7ch wna mb mawjood. I might take a long time studying there and illl come back married to someone. I know its hard but what can I say 5awool. Forget me as a lover , I don't deserve you , u need someone better.
5awla; wna b3d a7bk , I don't wanna think about it.
He smiled , a tired smile
I looked down and he kissed my eyes and nose.
3mair; m7md ehtm feeha enzen
M7md; 5awla e5ti 3mair , latw9eeni 3laiha
3mair; wnti 3afoor mb kl shwei tl3wzeenha
3afra; enshallah :)
Fdaith walla, he's so caring w awal mrh 3afoor doesn't argue. I feel broken mn da5l that were not meant to be but ill be happy for him. I promise ill not be the bitch that will ruin his marriage and his life.
I promise. I promise.
3mair; have a good night
And with that he left me ...
Now he leaves me again , he keeps hurting me OVER and OVER again!
What does he want from me! Why does he keep doing this why?!
I'm really sick of this, fuck him and fuck his love.
I threw his blanket away and I stood up. I wiped the tears that were about to fall down my cheeks.
I'm not going to cry anymore, I'm not going to feel bad or feel devestated.
Before I open the door, I looked back at his room. I don't know what happened to me suddenly, I didn't have the courage to leave. His room reminds me of him, its my lovers places. It keeps me warm and safe. I removed my hand from the doors handle and went to his closet.
I grabbed a hoddie that he'd always wear w '6maaith l 7'6ni!
Aah his smell, his perfume , it makes me go insane.
Tears appeared again , I can't control myself. Astwi wayd 7saash youm "3mair" is in the problem.
I keep telling myself to be strong , to don't ever let a guy do this to me but he's not any guy, he's my only guy. I'm not the kind of person that would cry over stupid love but again its not like any other love.
3mair had always been my whole life.
If I playback my whole life , you would see him everywhere. He was with me from the age of 2 lain al7een.
But ill try to act strong.
3afra; 3maaairr!!!!! Khawlaaa !!!!! Where are u!! Dinner is ready!
3afoor's voice woke me up , it made me shiver. If she enters and sees this , she's gonna make a joke out of it. She doesn't believe in us and I don't blame her. I don't believe in us either , he's just a misery that I don't wanna keep up with anymore.
I wiped my tears and I vowed not to cry over him ever again. Its not the first time enh yjr7ni w I bet it wouldn't be the last time. Let him leave just go to fucking america and don't come back!
I threw his hoddie away and I hesitated whether to open the door. Maba ashoofh. Please god don't make this more awkward.
I slowly pressed on the door's handle and took a small peek.
I captured 7mood and 3afoor but no sign of the ass.
I felt releaved and I went to sit down next to 3afoor.
I grabbed a slice of pizza and grabbed the remote to change that boring channel 7mood had on.
3afra; feeling better 7ayati?
5awla; yup way way better! Actually I'm feeling happy like this heavy weight is not there anymore
3afra; woow kl ha mn elrgad
5awla; yup
I tried not to cry , I tried to lie and act strong. I don't wanna be the weak 5awla anymore. I want to change , I want to live my life. My life doesn't revolve around 3mair alx bs , It needs others. I need to open my heart and not be afraid. I need to socialize and enjoy my life without his presence.
7mood; agool 5awool
5awla; goool 7mood goool allah y5leeek gool
I laughed and 3afra laughed too
3afra; wayh 5awool shu estwabch hahah:p
5awla; 3n la ygool bs!
We laughed again and he gave us the nastiest look ever.
M7md; mno sm7lch t'3yren el8anah w t6nzain b3d 7'6rtch?
5awla; kaify -.-"
3afra; 3ad 7mood ely knt etshoofh is the definition of boredom.
M7md; 3afoor , take my side babe. Were in this together B)
3afra; enshallah 7aaayaaatiiiii
M7md; 7beebti gooly 7g bnt 5altch t36eeeni elremote
3afra; mn 3yoon 7beebtk wallah
I laughed all along , they do this ALWAYS. They act all lovey dovey and che but let me tell u its FUNNY!
Like u see 3afraaa flirting , which u would never get to see always. She's always serious w mathmha hal swalf but when she does it , OMG !
5awla; bs walla b6ni 3wrni mn el'67k ! Hahahaha
3afra; 36i elremotr 7g 7beebi yalla :@@@
I couldn't even move mn el'67k so she had to get up w ta5th elremote broo7ha! I knew they wanted to laugh so hard but holding it in.
3afra went to m7md , kissed his cheeks
3afra; hak 7beebi
M7md; fdaaitch 7ubyy
I started calming down w 6al3thm -.-
5awla; ok now stop its so EWW!
3afra; eww wayhch enzeen. Aayh 7moodi shoof shu etgool hay
She did that sad puppy face and m7md sawa 3mrh m39b w awwnh planning to hit me with the pillow
I ran away while laughing at my stupid very very stupid cousins. I heard them laughing too.
I went out to the beach , it was really dark. I wondered where he was. Mn kthr el'67k I slightly forgot about him for a minute.
I walked for what seemed like ages. My legs were hurting me mn elmashi but it was worth it.
Eljaw rw3aa w hdoo2 mashay 7d, next to our beach house shay house mal shabab kwaityeen.
Eyoon from time to time. I love them, they're so funny but I never get to hang out l2nh 3mair may5leeni. They're like super hot and super sweet. I miss them b3d .. mn zmaan ma shftthm. I walked by their house and I saw some open lights. I wondered if they where their but it couldn't be. Maybe 7d dash yn'6f or shay l2nh Rose she comes and cleans every beach house when she's told so by her bosses so I guess its rose.
I was heading back to our beach house , I got really scared and started running. A5aaaf mn eldarkness
While I was running , I bumped into something hard and strong l draja enh rasi 3wrni w 7ta jsmi -,-"
5awla; matshoof!!!!
I started screaming even though I didn't know mno kan hal ensan
***; la ashoof bs enty matshoofen
5awla; 3mair:o
3mair; wain knti?
5awla; may59k
I left him and started walking forward but he held my arm and pushed me back infront of him
3mair; 5awla latklmeni che
5awla; hdd eydy 3mair
3mair; as2lch wain knti
I tried to let go of my hand , ylst arfsh w a'6rbh l2ni 9dg wayd knt m39bh mnh!
5awla; LEAVE ME ALONE!
3mair: 5AWLA!
And I froze.
No words could describe my fear al7en.
5awla; en zen h d ni
3mair; 2a5r mrh bs2lch 5awool
5awla; KNT ATMSHA enzen!
3mair; ttmshain n9 ellaail broo7ch?
5awla; hayh shu feeha
He came very close to me , his face SO CLOSE to mine and he whispered
3mair; youm ana aklmch , la trad'deen
I coudlnt reply now , I just looked at him , I looked at his eyes. He looked mad.
I closed my eyes and I whispered back.
5awla; enta may59k feni ok! Enth 2a5r wa7d trms !
He came closer
He grabbed my arm and he started pushing me behind our beach house to the wall.
I was really scared.
His touch made me shiver.
3mair; lat5leni aswi shay maba asweh 5awla
5awla; shu 3ma ir sh u t ba mn I
he placed his head on my shoulders and into my neck
He started whispering things that made me so weak , I was about to fall.
His breath ya allah
3mair; t3ban ana 5awla t3ban
Lfait rasii w I kissed his ears
5awla; enzen ana hni , gooly shu feek , gooly shu mt3bnk
I was about to cry but no I'm not crying anymore.
I find myself hating him then loving him back again.
I pushed him away and I sat down on the floor because I was just tired mnh , tired mn al'3azh
My face was on my knees. He's not the only one suffering.
He came and sat right next to me.
He started swearing and saying things that I couldn't even understand.
His fone rang fj2a and he wouldn't reply.
His ringtone made me go insane!
Rf3t rasi
5awla; would u just reply y3ne?!
He just looked at me and then looked back down
It kept ringing mostly che an hour or so
I got angry so I grabbed his fone and I answered immedietly
5awla; 3mair is gonna call u back , bye
And when I was about to hang up , the caller spoke and I wish he didn't or may I say " she "
Girl; aloo 7beebi
I looked at him with complete shock , my hands were shaking
The fact that 3mair has a girl in mind and he's playing around with me made me feel sick. Completely sick.
I looked at the fone and there was " shamma ".
Shamma; ohoo aloo 3mair waink
And 3mair was a mess , he looked weak. He didn't even try to explain anything or a9ln does he have anything to explain.
Am I overreacting? Were not even officially a couple 9a7?
But why! He knows that I have feelings for him! Why do this to me 3mair why?
I gave him the fone and I walked away.
I walked away with tears, I vowed not to cry over him but how can I? How can he do this to me just HOW?
I was walking really fast like running not even walking. He didn't even call me or try to stop me.
--
*3mair*
I threw the fone away and I punched the wall a couple of times.
Laish mama , laish che tsween feena ? Laish t76meen wldch , laish tksreen 5a6rh! I can't stay here any longer. I can't hurt her , she makes me want her kl thanya akthr w akthr wna a3wrhaa b af3ali!
Uff ya dnya laish t'6lmeena ..
I can't even say good-bye to her now. I can't look at her walla m7d 7as feeni. A7eenh tt7rani wa7d 5ays 78eer ! Ya allah ufff
I started walking to our beach house , when I was about to go in.
I saw her sitting next to 3afra and crying really hard.
I over heard their conversation ;
3afra; omg 5awool goolyly balach! Aba afhm ma tshb3en 9ya7!
M7md; 5awla shu mstwi ! Yalsa t5wfeena
5awla; t5ylw entu bs t5ylw! 6laa3 y7b w7dh esmhaa shammaa t5ylw :( che yswi feeni cheee ! Ana 5awlaaa che yswi feeni ! 63nii thb7nii jr7nii 3afoor bamoot:( galby y7rgni y3wrnii wayd :( mdri kaif yalsa atnfs a9ln ! Walla t3banah walla w ygooly enh t3baan! Ely t3baan yseer yswi che! Laish lazm yt3bni laish! I wanna go back home! I'm hating this fucking house!
M7md; 5awool I'm gonna tell u now something but ull have to be super strong! I know u can't handle hearing it now bs hal shay lazm tsm3eenh
I knew What m7md was about to say but he shouldn't be the one saying it ...
I entered and all faces looked at me .
She was angry!
5awla; e6l3 br3 3maair ! Mabaaa ashoofk e6l3!
3mair; bs esm3eeni!
5awla; maba mabaaa :( bs 5lni fe 7ali akrhk tfhm shu y3ne akrhk yal ..
3mair; ESM3I ! Hal shay '3a9bn 3ni w shamma 56eebti! '39booni 2a5th'ha '39booni asafr '39booni enzeen! Youm agoolch t3ban y3ne 9dg t3ban ! Tt7rain ely yals yswti 3aybni ! Tt7rain ely yals amr feeh shay s'hl! Tt7rain ench matkoonen 7gi shayy ma y3wr! I've been suffering for 2 months w m7d 7ass feni!
She looked at me , she stood up and came next to me
She held my face and she smiled with tears
5awla; yals tt'3shmr wyay 9a7 3mair! Bs tba t'6aygni w tl3wzni 9a7 ! Hay mb 56ebtk 9a7!
She laughed and she tried wiping her tears
5awla; enth 7gii wna 7gk 9a7? Jawbni 3mair 9a7?
M7md; la mb 9a7 5awool! Mb 9a7! 5ala9 hal shay mstwi mnzman w mb eydh elrayal. Lazm tbt3doon 3n b3'6 w matkbroon elsalfh !
3afra; m7md I'm confused , how can he be engaged w w laish y'39boonh!
3mair; l2nh 7'6rthm ma yt5yloon eny akoon wyaha mthl ma enty ya 3afra ma tt5ylain. The fact that O&K are lovers is not possible to them. 5awla is just my cousins and that's all. She can't be more or less. Hatha 8anoon mama , ma tba 5awla, ma tba O&K!
5awla; omg 3mair I can't take in all of this I can't!
3mair; ylsi 5awool w breathe
5awla; leave me 3mair , u can't ask me to sit down and breathe because u just ruined my whole life. U just broke a dream that I've been wanting my whole life. Its like You just told me that I can't be breathe normally because ur not gonna be with me.
3mair; 7awlt a'3yr rayha 5awla walla el3a'6eem 7awlt ! Mb ra'6ya w umch b3d w ubooch w 5alch w 3mamch. Elkl raf'6 ! Amoot w a3rf laish bs malna n9eeb 7bebti , malna n9eeb.
I kissed her head and she cried even more.
5awla; just go 3mair just go , I wish u happiness.
3mair; bachr msafr ..
5awla; too9l blslama w allah ywfgk
She looked at 3afra
5awla; 3afoor aba argd wadeeni my room
3afra came close to 5awla and she held her hand
3afra; yalla t3ali
I looked at 5awla
3mair; ttm95rain 5awla! Btrgden?
5awla; hayh brgd can u just leave?
3mair; don't worry ill be leaving for a long time
I came close to her , I placed my head on her shoulders
I whispered
3mair; a7bch 5awla
And I kissed her neck before leaving.
--
*5awla*
He just told me the thing that I've always wanted to hear.
I can't let him go
I can't
5awla; 3 ma ir
He turned around and I ran to him , I hugged him a tight hug and I started crying all over again.
5awla; ill miss u 3mair ill miss u :(
He held my face and he looked into my eyes.
3mair; take care enzen 7bebti , lat5len 7d yz3lch w y9y7ch wna mb mawjood. I might take a long time studying there and illl come back married to someone. I know its hard but what can I say 5awool. Forget me as a lover , I don't deserve you , u need someone better.
5awla; wna b3d a7bk , I don't wanna think about it.
He smiled , a tired smile
I looked down and he kissed my eyes and nose.
3mair; m7md ehtm feeha enzen
M7md; 5awla e5ti 3mair , latw9eeni 3laiha
3mair; wnti 3afoor mb kl shwei tl3wzeenha
3afra; enshallah :)
Fdaith walla, he's so caring w awal mrh 3afoor doesn't argue. I feel broken mn da5l that were not meant to be but ill be happy for him. I promise ill not be the bitch that will ruin his marriage and his life.
I promise. I promise.
3mair; have a good night
And with that he left me ...
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