I looked at her and I just couldn't. I couldn't touch her. I couldn't get close enough to do what every man would do if he was in my place.
She was smiling, looking really shy. She looked down.
I closed my eyes for 2 seconds, imagined 5awla's face and I held her face to kiss her.
I kissed her in reality but I kissed K with my eyes closed.
-----
*Afra*
Dana: omg how weird was that?
Afra: 9dg malh da3i ely estwa klah.
Dana: walla lw ana mkan shamma chan mt, bs ymkn elmskena ma 3rft wain byer.
Afra: '3abya enty b3d aked ma 3rft enh reja3 edwr 5awla.
Dana: walla 5ayfa 3la 5awool w 3la shamma.
Afra: t9dgen dano, amot w a3rf laish um 3mair ma tba 5awla w he mafeha wla 3aib.
I looked at her waiting for a reply but she was too busy grabbing every meal and placing it on her plate.
I grabbed a napkin and threw it at her.
Afra: hey enty yal duba bsch akl 5aiba.
Dana: chub chub ma 5loni 2akl.
Afra: agool skri 7ljch lw3ti chbdi.
She laughed and I smiled. I just love this stupid girl.
------
I got back to the house, took off the fstan that was bothering me like hell. Threw everything away. Wore my comfy pj's and jumped on my bed.
I called 7aidar and we had a conversation that lasted for 3 hours. Gosh, I can talk to this person without even worrying what to say next or what hed say next.
I told him about Omair, he said what others were trying to tell me all along, that I have to ignore and stay away even if he came back but this time I understood. He convinced me. My cousins tried to for ages but he did that during a phonecall in 15 mins. How unreal is that?
5awla: 7aidaaar walla bs maroom a'67k zyadah.
7aidar: shda3wa 5awla, t'67ken a7s mn ma tbchen 9a7?
5awla: 9a7 bs ma knt a9e7 ana wya wayhk knt ashkelk bs.
7aidar: ee ee shway knti w tbchen.
5awla: kaifk -,-
There was silence for 2 mins but then..
5awla: 7aidar
7aidar: halla
5awla: ana mstansa eny shftk, 6l3t mn el3rs w eltgait feek
He laughed
7aidar:ee 5oosh 9dfa
I smiled.
5awla: laish enta hni
7aidar: 3ndi sh'3lah 6wlt, knt lazm abga hni 7g sh'hrain bs hal sh'hrain 9araw sntain.
5awla: w che btst8r hni
7aidar: la ma'6ni, elkuwait lazm ardlha
I felt sad when he said that.
5awla: SOOOOO! I'm so sleepy
As always, I take the easy way out.
7aidar: good night 5awla.
We said our goodnights and closed the phone.
I slept with a smile, I forgot about the fact that he may be leaving but hey phones exist. I also forgot about the fact that my lover would now be sleeping next to a women that's not me.
-----
I looked at my other side and I saw her right there, next to me, sleeping.
I was disgusted. I don't know how I've done what I've done. It doesn't feel good at all. I want to go and take a shower to feel good.
I don't want to do this to someone I have no feelings for. This is just hard. I feel like shit.
I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. I washed my face a couple of times. I sat there for hours, thinking about everything.
I can't do it. I'm not getting any younger, I dont want to have kids with her. There is nothing wrong with shamma. She's amazingly innocent but the problem is that she's not khawla.
I picked up my phone and I called her.
------
While I was on cloud 9 sleeping like a princess, my fucking phone couldn't stop ringing.
Is it Dana?
Is it Afra?
Is it 7aidar?
Who should I murder?
But unfortuently the person who called was not part of the list above.
I was shocked. My hands were shaking.
I rubbed my eyes and I sat up.
I said bsmllah and I answered the call.
5awla: aloo
----
What was I doing? No what was I thinking?
When I heard her voice, everything felt good
3mair: aloo
----
3mair: aloo
What should I say? Should I ask him why is he calling or should I uff I don't know.
3mair: 5awla
I bit my lips.
5awla: halla
3mair: ana ta3ban.
My heart ached. He sound tired, more than tired.
5awla: mn shu
3mair: la tst3b6ain
5awla: mb yalsa ast3b6
3mair: shu tswen
5awla: knt ragda
3mair: y3ne w3aitch
5awla: hayh
3mair: a7sn
He laughed and I laughed too.
5awla: 78eer
3mair: sbalah
5awla: bntk elsbalah mb ana
3mair: enzen 5lena mn bnty, 5awla
5awla: hmm
3mair: gooly 3mair
5awla: 6a3 ha laish enshallah
3mair: enty bs goly
5awla: 3mair
3mair: b3d
5awla: 3mair bs shu hal s5afah
3mair: a7bch.
I teared. That was so unexpected.
5awla: 3mair please stop it walla *sniff* I hate feeling bad about myself and I don't know. Just don't call.
He closes the line and he leaves me like this.
Shocked. Confused. Sad. Lonely.
Ufff I feel like a bitch. I feel so bad and ugly. Why would I make him do this to shamma? Laish a7rg galbha w a3wr galby?
Knt lazm mared 3l phone a9ln. Stupid me.
One word changes everything.
I sent him a text
5awla: est'3fr rabk, et3wath mn eblees w seer ergd enzen. Forget about it, Its like nothing happened. Were just hurting each other w njr7 ensanah malha 59.
----
I read that text and I cursed.
Whenever I tell myself that I should stop thinking about her, I get back to the same start point where I get weak and I call her and I obsess over her.
5awla feha mlyon 3aib w feha ashya2 akrha lakn a7bha.
W shamma ma shft mnha wla shay '3l6, thtm feni, ma tjr7ni, t76ni fe 3yonha bs mb raym 7ta a6al3ha.
I took a shower and went back to sleep.
----
Next Morning...
@ shamma and 3mair
*shamma*
There he was sleeping looking adorable.
I got close to him and kissed his lips.
He opens his eyes, looks at me, then goes back to sleep.
I frowned. Maybe he's just tired.
I got out of bed and I head to the bathroom. I see his phone and I laugh.
Did he forget his phone in the bathroom?
I grab his phone and I place it back on his desk.
I changed my clothes and brushed my teeth.
I sat infront of the tv and waited for him to just wake up. I felt so bored.
I went back to our room and opened the lights.
Shamma: OMAAAIR YALLAAAA nsh
I see him moving and starting to rub his eyes.
I go and sit next to him on bed.
Shamma: tra malait wna yalsa broo7i.
He grabs my hand and pushes me
3mair: enty habla? 7d ygwm ensan naym che?
I got so scared, he was pushing me and he looked so angry.
Shamma: hdni 3mair shu feek.
I threw his hand and I went back to the 9alah.
----
*3mair*
A7enh ana mtfyj ayls az3lha w 3gb ara'6eha. 7alah hay.
Bs 9dg ana ragd shu y59ha feni ma tfhm eny t3ban.
I get up so angry and head to the bathroom.
I go back to the 9alah and I look at her sitting there looking so sad.
I sit next to her and I grab her hand.
3mair: tra akrah shay 3ndi youm ana naym w 7d eye w ygwmni. An8hr.
I smile and she smiles back.
Shamma: sorry bs walla malait broo7i galby.
I hugged her and I kissed her head.
3mair: nt3sha br3 elyoum?
Shamma: hayh please 3mair!
3mair: enshallah 7abebti. Yalla goomi 5lna nnzl ntryg t7t.
Shamma: ana jahza enta bs elbs 3dl.
3mair: balani ana labs 3dl.
Shamma: btlbs cut? La ma7b. Kl 7d yshofk a'3ar.
I smiled and she looks away.
I kiss her neck and she turns red.
Isn't she just cute?
I was about to get up and go change but she holds my hand, stand up, and kisses me.
Shamma: a7bk.
I smile and I remember K.
-----
Dana: elyoum bnser nt3sha br3 LAZM!
Afra: ok goli 7g 5awla, bnser nakl sushi.
Dana: la la mb sushi, bt'thkr 3mairo w btels t9e7. Mafena.
Afra; shu y59 3mair now, ana ensanah mshthya sushi ya5i.
Dana: sushi 7ub 3mair enty yal zag, yal DUBA
Afra; entty elduba. Ma shb3ti mn akl ams?
Dana: la ma shb3t w mb sayren sushi.
Afra: bnser sushi w btshofen a7enh bgol 7g Khawla
Afra grabs her phone and bbm's K.
Afra:
SUSHI? DINNER? 7:00?
5awla:
YES!YES!YES!
Afra: galat yes w mt7msa :)
Dana: kaifkm ana 5brtkm. 3ndi e7sas enh hal sushi bydmr youmna.
Afra; agoool 5fi 3lenaaaa please danoo tra enty bs dana alx mb w7dh t3rf elmst8bl.
Dana: CHUB CHUB CHUB ana a9ln mtfyjh a7atekm
Afra: fkri fe b6nch w el7ayah 7lwaa :B
----
*dana*
Shamma just called me and asked for a place to go for dinner. She told me she wanted a place that 3mair loved and I told her he loved sushi. WHAT IF THEY GO THERE TODAY AND WE MEET UP!!! I'm so scared.
I don't want to tell the girls about shamma's phoncecall because 5awla will get dramatic to the fact that I'm talking to her and afra would be typical afra. She wouldn't care, she would love the fact that 5awla would get used to 3mair and shamma around.
I don't want to hurt 5awla and I don't feel like hurting shamma too. I love them. Were not going to eat sushi, I'm so convincing them to change plans
I hope this works.
11 August 2012
02 August 2012
O&K 17
*Dana*
Dana: hathech wain e5tft 3afoor!
3afra: walla mdrebha .. Chnha 6l3t.
Dana: '3abya! 6al3a wagt '3l6 y3ne a7eenh elryayel klhm br3 fl reception w he mat3rfenha kaif tst7i 7ta mn her shadow.
3afra: ya allah 9dg bt'thb7ni hal bnt, lazm ayls ajablha 24-7 3shan matswi shay yf'67na klna.
Dana: 5ala9 eskti 3n tsm3 shammo.
Me and 3afra were standing next to shamma, watching 3mair slowly walk towards her. He looks really good, handsome.
But I was really worried about khawla, I kept searching everywhere for her but I was sure she wasn't in the 8a3ah. She left.
------
I quickly left the parking lot and headed inside. I couldn't stop smiling, finally I met a new person who can't judge my past. I finally found someone who I can talk to and hed understand without me trying to explain.
When I entered the reception it was filled with men. White kandooras everywhere! I was about to faint but I had to head inside the 8a3ah, I'm sure 3mair left with shamma by now. Its 2;30 am so they'd already be in the car heading to the hotel.
I got into the 8a3ah and I saw my family on a table having dinner. I sat next to dana and grabbed a plate but before I could open my mouth and start eating, they started staring at me and I was waiting for their lecture.
Dana: WAIN KNTI?!
Afra: tra 3aib, klna kna wagfen ela enty enzen.
Dana: w b3dain kaif t6l3en wnti t3rfen enh ryayel eldnya bykonon bara3.
Khawla; wal wal wal! Hadoo! Srt 3nd sayarti.
Dana: wallah? E7lfi? Mat'thkrti sayartch ela al7en , youm bydsh hoo.
Khawla: walla 3ad kaify maba ashoofh maba ashoofhm shu y59km feni 5ala9 5aloni broo7i.
Afra: agoolch krmena b skotch w eat wayd a7sn
She gave me a death stare and dana rolled her eyes.
I just wish they felt what I felt. They don't know the pain.
------
He was holding my hand and we were heading to the car. His mom was holding fstani mn wra and someone held the b5oor and helped me get into the limo.
He was queit.
He was cold.
Maybe he was nervous?
I don't know. I just didn't feel the excitement.
His mom left and my mom left. I was in the limo and he was outside, saying his goodbyes to the family and some of his friends. I waited for him to get in but it took too long.
3mair: shamma shwei bseer w bared ok? Bs shwei.
Shamma: awaih 3mair, wain btser hal wgt.
3mair: etryaini shwei fl syarah.
-----
They were talking to me but I wasn't there. All I was thinking about was her , K. Where was she?
I had to find her before leaving. 3ndi kalam mal snh. Bs kaif bagolh ana ma3rf.
I threw the bsht in the car and the '3tra + 3gal and ran back inside.
I was running like a crazy man looking for something special he lost.
I entered the 8a3ah, and there she was.
Nobody was in there.
Dana
Afra
K
And cleaners.
She gave me her back while dano and 3afoor gasped when I entered.
Khawla: bsmllah balakm yal 5bayl.
I heard her voice that makes my day. I felt weak. I wanted to run towards her and take her into my arms.
Her dark black hair.
The smell of her favorite perfume.
Her red dress.
Dana: 3mair!
Khawla: seeri walli rdaina?
Afra: la la 5awol 3mair 3mair warach.
Khawla: tt6nzon? A'67k?
3mair: 5awla
She turned around slowly and looked at me.
She was shocked, her face just what I needed to see. She looked more than beautiful.
I smiled.
Dana: 3maairoooo! Enta maynon? Shu yaybnk hni? Wain shamma!
Afra: agool m95tha 3ad
Dana: OMAAAIRR! Tsm3?
They were talking but she was queit. I wanted to hear her comment. Her voice. Her words.
Fj2a, her fone started ringing.
----
My heart was beating so fast. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't talk. I couldn't move. He came all the way back just for me, to see me?
Am I supposed to feel happy or hate myself for having another girls man?
I don't know. I was confused.
His hair, his eyes, his smile.
The kandoora on him.
Oh God.
I feel my fone vibrating and rashed almajeds song starts playing.
I wasn't there. I was with omair on our land living our fantasy.
Dana: 5awol! Mobaylch!
Afra: HEEY ENTY! Your fone is ringing!
I was completely starting at him and he loved it. He was smiling. I'm still in shock.
5awla; ana? My fone?
I slowly moved my ears towards my hand. It was really hard. It was like my eyes were attracted to his eyes.
I clicked the button and said " aloo" without even seeing the caller.
Khawla: halla 7aidar!
I smiled and they all gasped.
Dana: 7aaidar mnoo
I shushed her
Afra: yal 3yara golly
I grabbed my shaila and slowly headed outside. I totally forgot about his presence.
I bumped into him before stepping outside.
I thought I was dreaming and my fone was the alarm or 7aidar was the alarm.
3mair: wain w mno ha 7aidar.
5awla: shway 7aidar 3gb bt9l feek.
He said ok and I closed the line.
3mair: s2ltch s2al.
5awla: 7aidar, 7aidar hatha ely wyay fl jam3a , ely wyay fl group. Hayh group ysa3dni.
3mair: wly wyach flgroup byt9l fech hal wagt. Ma3ndh email y6rsh, lazm r8mch? Shu yba?
I was scared and I couldn't focus. He was so close. I couldn't lie. I was trying so hard to lie.
5awla: 3mair shu fek? Balak gltlk wyay fl jam3ah 5ala9 hdni.
He pushed me away and I almost fell. I grabbed the chair.
5awla; laish edz walla? Agool ser jabl mrtk a7snlk w 5lni ana fe 7ali. Tra ana 3ndi e5wan w 3ndi obooy walla.
3mair: walla w t8len adabch? A9ln ana el'3l6an ely yay armsch w adwr 3laich. Y3ne shu al7en kl ma bntshawf bnels nt'6arb w nsb b3'6. Mno sm7lch t36en r8mch 7g wa7d '3reb y3ne lw oboch 3eraf bykon ra'6i?
5awla: hayh! L2nh he's my classmate w y7taj r8mi 3shan were working together.
3mair: tra kalamch mb dash 3gli.
5awla: a7sn.
I grabbed my heels and started running outside.
I felt like crying and commiting suicide. Why why why? Why do we always fight? Why is there always something to argue about?
A9ln laish laish trden 3la 7aidar jdamh laish yal habla?
Chan al7en yalsen trmson w ygolch ely fe 5a6rh.
Uffffffffffffffffff :(
He came back inside 3shanch. Wadar his wife 3shanch. Wadar kl shay 3shanch.
Bamoot.
Uff.
-----
Dana: 3mair please rd 3nd shamma w la tf'67na
3mair: t3rfen mno 7aidar 3afoor.
Afra: walla ma3rfh ya 3mair w la t'6ayg 3mrk tra galtlk hoo mno w please rd 3nd 7rmtk wain mwdrnha enshallah.
3mair: ana mt'6ayg walla. Ma7bha mabaha 3aysh 7ayat rayal thani. He mb 7gi ana.
Dana; est'3fr rabk 3mair w rd 3ndha.
3mair: a7bha hathech dano walla a7bha walla abaha walla.
I threw everything around me and headed back to the car. lw ana ma aswa shay 3ndha w ba3tni che 3yal galby 3afha.
Shamma: OMAIR! Walla 5ft wain rw7t?
3mair: mashay 7beebti.
I kissed her cheeks and got inside.
Dana: hathech wain e5tft 3afoor!
3afra: walla mdrebha .. Chnha 6l3t.
Dana: '3abya! 6al3a wagt '3l6 y3ne a7eenh elryayel klhm br3 fl reception w he mat3rfenha kaif tst7i 7ta mn her shadow.
3afra: ya allah 9dg bt'thb7ni hal bnt, lazm ayls ajablha 24-7 3shan matswi shay yf'67na klna.
Dana: 5ala9 eskti 3n tsm3 shammo.
Me and 3afra were standing next to shamma, watching 3mair slowly walk towards her. He looks really good, handsome.
But I was really worried about khawla, I kept searching everywhere for her but I was sure she wasn't in the 8a3ah. She left.
------
I quickly left the parking lot and headed inside. I couldn't stop smiling, finally I met a new person who can't judge my past. I finally found someone who I can talk to and hed understand without me trying to explain.
When I entered the reception it was filled with men. White kandooras everywhere! I was about to faint but I had to head inside the 8a3ah, I'm sure 3mair left with shamma by now. Its 2;30 am so they'd already be in the car heading to the hotel.
I got into the 8a3ah and I saw my family on a table having dinner. I sat next to dana and grabbed a plate but before I could open my mouth and start eating, they started staring at me and I was waiting for their lecture.
Dana: WAIN KNTI?!
Afra: tra 3aib, klna kna wagfen ela enty enzen.
Dana: w b3dain kaif t6l3en wnti t3rfen enh ryayel eldnya bykonon bara3.
Khawla; wal wal wal! Hadoo! Srt 3nd sayarti.
Dana: wallah? E7lfi? Mat'thkrti sayartch ela al7en , youm bydsh hoo.
Khawla: walla 3ad kaify maba ashoofh maba ashoofhm shu y59km feni 5ala9 5aloni broo7i.
Afra: agoolch krmena b skotch w eat wayd a7sn
She gave me a death stare and dana rolled her eyes.
I just wish they felt what I felt. They don't know the pain.
------
He was holding my hand and we were heading to the car. His mom was holding fstani mn wra and someone held the b5oor and helped me get into the limo.
He was queit.
He was cold.
Maybe he was nervous?
I don't know. I just didn't feel the excitement.
His mom left and my mom left. I was in the limo and he was outside, saying his goodbyes to the family and some of his friends. I waited for him to get in but it took too long.
3mair: shamma shwei bseer w bared ok? Bs shwei.
Shamma: awaih 3mair, wain btser hal wgt.
3mair: etryaini shwei fl syarah.
-----
They were talking to me but I wasn't there. All I was thinking about was her , K. Where was she?
I had to find her before leaving. 3ndi kalam mal snh. Bs kaif bagolh ana ma3rf.
I threw the bsht in the car and the '3tra + 3gal and ran back inside.
I was running like a crazy man looking for something special he lost.
I entered the 8a3ah, and there she was.
Nobody was in there.
Dana
Afra
K
And cleaners.
She gave me her back while dano and 3afoor gasped when I entered.
Khawla: bsmllah balakm yal 5bayl.
I heard her voice that makes my day. I felt weak. I wanted to run towards her and take her into my arms.
Her dark black hair.
The smell of her favorite perfume.
Her red dress.
Dana: 3mair!
Khawla: seeri walli rdaina?
Afra: la la 5awol 3mair 3mair warach.
Khawla: tt6nzon? A'67k?
3mair: 5awla
She turned around slowly and looked at me.
She was shocked, her face just what I needed to see. She looked more than beautiful.
I smiled.
Dana: 3maairoooo! Enta maynon? Shu yaybnk hni? Wain shamma!
Afra: agool m95tha 3ad
Dana: OMAAAIRR! Tsm3?
They were talking but she was queit. I wanted to hear her comment. Her voice. Her words.
Fj2a, her fone started ringing.
----
My heart was beating so fast. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't talk. I couldn't move. He came all the way back just for me, to see me?
Am I supposed to feel happy or hate myself for having another girls man?
I don't know. I was confused.
His hair, his eyes, his smile.
The kandoora on him.
Oh God.
I feel my fone vibrating and rashed almajeds song starts playing.
I wasn't there. I was with omair on our land living our fantasy.
Dana: 5awol! Mobaylch!
Afra: HEEY ENTY! Your fone is ringing!
I was completely starting at him and he loved it. He was smiling. I'm still in shock.
5awla; ana? My fone?
I slowly moved my ears towards my hand. It was really hard. It was like my eyes were attracted to his eyes.
I clicked the button and said " aloo" without even seeing the caller.
Khawla: halla 7aidar!
I smiled and they all gasped.
Dana: 7aaidar mnoo
I shushed her
Afra: yal 3yara golly
I grabbed my shaila and slowly headed outside. I totally forgot about his presence.
I bumped into him before stepping outside.
I thought I was dreaming and my fone was the alarm or 7aidar was the alarm.
3mair: wain w mno ha 7aidar.
5awla: shway 7aidar 3gb bt9l feek.
He said ok and I closed the line.
3mair: s2ltch s2al.
5awla: 7aidar, 7aidar hatha ely wyay fl jam3a , ely wyay fl group. Hayh group ysa3dni.
3mair: wly wyach flgroup byt9l fech hal wagt. Ma3ndh email y6rsh, lazm r8mch? Shu yba?
I was scared and I couldn't focus. He was so close. I couldn't lie. I was trying so hard to lie.
5awla: 3mair shu fek? Balak gltlk wyay fl jam3ah 5ala9 hdni.
He pushed me away and I almost fell. I grabbed the chair.
5awla; laish edz walla? Agool ser jabl mrtk a7snlk w 5lni ana fe 7ali. Tra ana 3ndi e5wan w 3ndi obooy walla.
3mair: walla w t8len adabch? A9ln ana el'3l6an ely yay armsch w adwr 3laich. Y3ne shu al7en kl ma bntshawf bnels nt'6arb w nsb b3'6. Mno sm7lch t36en r8mch 7g wa7d '3reb y3ne lw oboch 3eraf bykon ra'6i?
5awla: hayh! L2nh he's my classmate w y7taj r8mi 3shan were working together.
3mair: tra kalamch mb dash 3gli.
5awla: a7sn.
I grabbed my heels and started running outside.
I felt like crying and commiting suicide. Why why why? Why do we always fight? Why is there always something to argue about?
A9ln laish laish trden 3la 7aidar jdamh laish yal habla?
Chan al7en yalsen trmson w ygolch ely fe 5a6rh.
Uffffffffffffffffff :(
He came back inside 3shanch. Wadar his wife 3shanch. Wadar kl shay 3shanch.
Bamoot.
Uff.
-----
Dana: 3mair please rd 3nd shamma w la tf'67na
3mair: t3rfen mno 7aidar 3afoor.
Afra: walla ma3rfh ya 3mair w la t'6ayg 3mrk tra galtlk hoo mno w please rd 3nd 7rmtk wain mwdrnha enshallah.
3mair: ana mt'6ayg walla. Ma7bha mabaha 3aysh 7ayat rayal thani. He mb 7gi ana.
Dana; est'3fr rabk 3mair w rd 3ndha.
3mair: a7bha hathech dano walla a7bha walla abaha walla.
I threw everything around me and headed back to the car. lw ana ma aswa shay 3ndha w ba3tni che 3yal galby 3afha.
Shamma: OMAIR! Walla 5ft wain rw7t?
3mair: mashay 7beebti.
I kissed her cheeks and got inside.
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