O&K 18

I looked at her and I just couldn't. I couldn't touch her. I couldn't get close enough to do what every man would do if he was in my place.

She was smiling, looking really shy. She looked down.
I closed my eyes for 2 seconds, imagined 5awla's face and I held her face to kiss her.
I kissed her in reality but I kissed K with my eyes closed.

-----
*Afra*

Dana: omg how weird was that?

Afra: 9dg malh da3i ely estwa klah.

Dana: walla lw ana mkan shamma chan mt, bs ymkn elmskena ma 3rft wain byer.

Afra: '3abya enty b3d aked ma 3rft enh reja3 edwr 5awla.

Dana: walla 5ayfa 3la 5awool w 3la shamma.

Afra: t9dgen dano, amot w a3rf laish um 3mair ma tba 5awla w he mafeha wla 3aib.

I looked at her waiting for a reply but she was too busy grabbing every meal and placing it on her plate.

I grabbed a napkin and threw it at her.

Afra: hey enty yal duba bsch akl 5aiba.

Dana: chub chub ma 5loni 2akl.

Afra: agool skri 7ljch lw3ti chbdi.

She laughed and I smiled. I just love this stupid girl.

------
I got back to the house, took off the fstan that was bothering me like hell. Threw everything away. Wore my comfy pj's and jumped on my bed.
I called 7aidar and we had a conversation that lasted for 3 hours. Gosh, I can talk to this person without even worrying what to say next or what hed say next.
I told him about Omair, he said what others were trying to tell me all along, that I have to ignore and stay away even if he came back but this time I understood. He convinced me. My cousins tried to for ages but he did that during a phonecall in 15 mins. How unreal is that?

5awla: 7aidaaar walla bs maroom a'67k zyadah.

7aidar: shda3wa 5awla, t'67ken a7s mn ma tbchen 9a7?

5awla: 9a7 bs ma knt a9e7 ana wya wayhk knt ashkelk bs.

7aidar: ee ee shway knti w tbchen.

5awla: kaifk -,-

There was silence for 2 mins but then..

5awla: 7aidar

7aidar: halla

5awla: ana mstansa eny shftk, 6l3t mn el3rs w eltgait feek

He laughed

7aidar:ee 5oosh 9dfa

I smiled.

5awla: laish enta hni

7aidar: 3ndi sh'3lah 6wlt, knt lazm abga hni 7g sh'hrain bs hal sh'hrain 9araw sntain.

5awla: w che btst8r hni

7aidar: la ma'6ni, elkuwait lazm ardlha

I felt sad when he said that.

5awla: SOOOOO! I'm so sleepy

As always, I take the easy way out.

7aidar: good night 5awla.

We said our goodnights and closed the phone.
I slept with a smile, I forgot about the fact that he may be leaving but hey phones exist. I also forgot about the fact that my lover would now be sleeping next to a women that's not me.
-----
I looked at my other side and I saw her right there, next to me, sleeping.
I was disgusted. I don't know how I've done what I've done. It doesn't feel good at all. I want to go and take a shower to feel good.
I don't want to do this to someone I have no feelings for. This is just hard. I feel like shit.
I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. I washed my face a couple of times. I sat there for hours, thinking about everything.

I can't do it. I'm not getting any younger, I dont want to have kids with her. There is nothing wrong with shamma. She's amazingly innocent but the problem is that she's not khawla.

I picked up my phone and I called her.

------
While I was on cloud 9 sleeping like a princess, my fucking phone couldn't stop ringing.

Is it Dana?
Is it Afra?
Is it 7aidar?
Who should I murder?

But unfortuently the person who called was not part of the list above.
I was shocked. My hands were shaking.
I rubbed my eyes and I sat up.

I said bsmllah and I answered the call.

5awla: aloo

----

What was I doing? No what was I thinking?
When I heard her voice, everything felt good

3mair: aloo

----
3mair: aloo

What should I say? Should I ask him why is he calling or should I uff I don't know.

3mair: 5awla

I bit my lips.

5awla: halla

3mair: ana ta3ban.

My heart ached. He sound tired, more than tired.

5awla: mn shu

3mair: la tst3b6ain

5awla: mb yalsa ast3b6

3mair: shu tswen

5awla: knt ragda

3mair: y3ne w3aitch

5awla: hayh

3mair: a7sn

He laughed and I laughed too.

5awla: 78eer

3mair: sbalah

5awla: bntk elsbalah mb ana

3mair: enzen 5lena mn bnty, 5awla

5awla: hmm

3mair: gooly 3mair

5awla: 6a3 ha laish enshallah

3mair: enty bs goly

5awla: 3mair

3mair: b3d

5awla: 3mair bs shu hal s5afah

3mair: a7bch.

I teared. That was so unexpected.

5awla: 3mair please stop it walla *sniff* I hate feeling bad about myself and I don't know. Just don't call.

He closes the line and he leaves me like this.
Shocked. Confused. Sad. Lonely.
Ufff I feel like a bitch. I feel so bad and ugly. Why would I make him do this to shamma? Laish a7rg galbha w a3wr galby?
Knt lazm mared 3l phone a9ln. Stupid me.
One word changes everything.

I sent him a text

5awla: est'3fr rabk, et3wath mn eblees w seer ergd enzen. Forget about it, Its like nothing happened. Were just hurting each other w njr7 ensanah malha 59.
----
I read that text and I cursed.
Whenever I tell myself that I should stop thinking about her, I get back to the same start point where I get weak and I call her and I obsess over her.
5awla feha mlyon 3aib w feha ashya2 akrha lakn a7bha.
W shamma ma shft mnha wla shay '3l6, thtm feni, ma tjr7ni, t76ni fe 3yonha bs mb raym 7ta a6al3ha.

I took a shower and went back to sleep.

----

Next Morning...

@ shamma and 3mair

*shamma*

There he was sleeping looking adorable.
I got close to him and kissed his lips.
He opens his eyes, looks at me, then goes back to sleep.

I frowned. Maybe he's just tired.
I got out of bed and I head to the bathroom. I see his phone and I laugh.
Did he forget his phone in the bathroom?

I grab his phone and I place it back on his desk.
I changed my clothes and brushed my teeth.

I sat infront of the tv and waited for him to just wake up. I felt so bored.
I went back to our room and opened the lights.

Shamma: OMAAAIR YALLAAAA nsh

I see him moving and starting to rub his eyes.

I go and sit next to him on bed.

Shamma: tra malait wna yalsa broo7i.

He grabs my hand and pushes me

3mair: enty habla? 7d ygwm ensan naym che?

I got so scared, he was pushing me and he looked so angry.

Shamma: hdni 3mair shu feek.
I threw his hand and I went back to the 9alah.

----

*3mair*

A7enh ana mtfyj ayls az3lha w 3gb ara'6eha. 7alah hay.
Bs 9dg ana ragd shu y59ha feni ma tfhm eny t3ban.

I get up so angry and head to the bathroom.
I go back to the 9alah and I look at her sitting there looking so sad.

I sit next to her and I grab her hand.

3mair: tra akrah shay 3ndi youm ana naym w 7d eye w ygwmni. An8hr.

I smile and she smiles back.

Shamma: sorry bs walla malait broo7i galby.

I hugged her and I kissed her head.

3mair: nt3sha br3 elyoum?

Shamma: hayh please 3mair!

3mair: enshallah 7abebti. Yalla goomi 5lna nnzl ntryg t7t.

Shamma: ana jahza enta bs elbs 3dl.

3mair: balani ana labs 3dl.

Shamma: btlbs cut? La ma7b. Kl 7d yshofk a'3ar.

I smiled and she looks away.
I kiss her neck and she turns red.
Isn't she just cute?

I was about to get up and go change but she holds my hand, stand up, and kisses me.

Shamma: a7bk.

I smile and I remember K.

-----

Dana: elyoum bnser nt3sha br3 LAZM!

Afra: ok goli 7g 5awla, bnser nakl sushi.

Dana: la la mb sushi, bt'thkr 3mairo w btels t9e7. Mafena.

Afra; shu y59 3mair now, ana ensanah mshthya sushi ya5i.

Dana: sushi 7ub 3mair enty yal zag, yal DUBA

Afra; entty elduba. Ma shb3ti mn akl ams?

Dana: la ma shb3t w mb sayren sushi.

Afra: bnser sushi w btshofen a7enh bgol 7g Khawla

Afra grabs her phone and bbm's K.

Afra:
SUSHI? DINNER? 7:00?

5awla:
YES!YES!YES!


Afra: galat yes w mt7msa :)

Dana: kaifkm ana 5brtkm. 3ndi e7sas enh hal sushi bydmr youmna.

Afra; agoool 5fi 3lenaaaa please danoo tra enty bs dana alx mb w7dh t3rf elmst8bl.

Dana: CHUB CHUB CHUB ana a9ln mtfyjh a7atekm

Afra: fkri fe b6nch w el7ayah 7lwaa :B

----

*dana*

Shamma just called me and asked for a place to go for dinner. She told me she wanted a place that 3mair loved and I told her he loved sushi. WHAT IF THEY GO THERE TODAY AND WE MEET UP!!! I'm so scared.
I don't want to tell the girls about shamma's phoncecall because 5awla will get dramatic to the fact that I'm talking to her and afra would be typical afra. She wouldn't care, she would love the fact that 5awla would get used to 3mair and shamma around.

I don't want to hurt 5awla and I don't feel like hurting shamma too. I love them. Were not going to eat sushi, I'm so convincing them to change plans
I hope this works.