I looked at my face in the mirror and tbh, I look so young and sweet. I don't know why would I ever let someone who doesn't deserve me to torute me and make me feel bad about myself. I want to live, to have fun.
Love should be the last thing on my mind. The one for me will be coming soon so I shouldn't bother wasting my time on someone I have no future with.
They told me were going to sushi, and I'm so excited. I love sushi! I'd eat sushi all day long.
I decided to go take a shower then glam up for tonight. Before entering the bathroom, my phone starts vibraring and its 7aidar!
I feel so happy, I start running towards my phone.
5awla: 7AAAIDAAAAR!
7aidar: how are you 5awla? Ma ts2len wla edgen 3lay
5awla: 3ad t3rf '6roofi enta kl shay mtbhdl ana roo7i '6ay3a mdri wain allah 7a6ni.
7aidar: ee walla 7as feech. Tawa 3a6eni sh'3l gad rasi moo gadr a5l9h
5awla: allah y3eeenk, 7aidar, you know what! How about you take a break and you come with us to eat sushi!
7aidar: sushi? I hate sushi 5awla!
5awla: not my problem. 3zmtk w btakl w you'll like it! You'll get to meet my cousins. They love kuwaities and I still haven't told them about you! Yalla plzz!
7aidar: enzen 3a shorch, t5leni a7b el sushi ha?
5awla: mn 3yoni
He laughed and I felt like I'm turning red for some reason. You know that manly laugh? Yes that! I LOVE!
We say our goodbyes and plan to meet at the restuarant.
I take my shower, iron my abaya, put on my usual make up and wait for 3afra to arrive.
-----
I was worried, I kept convinving 3afra NOT to go to sushi and to that same m63m but she ignored me.
3afra: pink wla maroon lisptick?
Dana: chub! Ana fe 7alah wnti fe 7alah! Maba sushi 3afoor maba ufff
3afra: balach enty mst5fa! Shu feech? Warach shay yalla bsr3h goly balach?
Dana: ma balay shay bs
3afra: la bs la b6ee5 yalla 6l3i
Dana: shamma btkon hnak there I said it.
I quickly take a few steps back because I was scared of her reaction.
3afra: PERFECT.
She smiles widely.
Dana: shu:s perfect? Shamma 7rmt 3mair yal habla
3afra: hayh adri shamma shamma shamma! Yaay this is perfect.
Dana: 3AFOOOR la t39beni! A7r ma 3ndi abrd ma 3ndch
3afra: this is like the perfect thing, we sit together, shamma gets used to 5awla and vise versa
Dana: enty '3abya
I throw the pillow on her and run to the bathroom to get ready.
I feel so bad because this will ruin 5awla's day.
-----
3afra: 5AWOOOL LW MA 6L3TI NOW BNRW7!
5awla: 2 minutes!
3afra: walla bnrw7!
I turn off the phone and watch dana freaking out.
3afra; shklch ymwt mn el'67k
Dana: enty '3bya! T3rfen 5awla btz3l!
3afra: tz3l 7g kmn sa3ah a7sn mn ma etm m'6aygah 6ol 7yatha. Btt3wd 3la 7althm w btkon okay.
Dana: tra they don't know were coming w b3dain a7s 3aib, shamma tba tkoon wya 3mair alone. 3gb btt7sbni ana ybtkm w btz3l.
3afra: may59aaaa!
Dana: embala y59a! Walla omg wayd fashla.
3afra: sharefat w a5eeran
I look back to see 5awla walking slowly towards the car.
She comes and sits in the middle!
3afra: chan 6wlti! Wayd early yaya
5awla; la t6nzain -.-
Dana: halla 5awwol!
5awla: halla 7ubyy
3afra: YOU READY? Sushiii baaabeeee
They all laugh and I see 5awla moving her hands and legs so I knew that there was something she had to say.
3afra: awal dano a7enh enty, fkeena goly ely 3ndch.
5awla: weeellll, remember 7aidar?
Dana: LAA LAAA LA PLZ 5awoool latgolen 3zzmteh
5awla: YES! Please please be nice and social.
3afra: 7aidar that kuwaity dude u met at the wedding?
5awla: yep that 7aidar!
Dana: coming with us? To sushi? Same place? Same time?
5awla: haha balach hayh!
3afra: ok 5awool we have to tell you something.
5awla: shu?
Dana: shamma and 3mair will be there too....
-----
Dana: shamma and 3mair will be there too....
3mair? Shamma? I felt sick. So I was going to see them. No. I didn't want that to happen. It would be awkward and weird. Especially with 7aidar being there, shamma would go crazy.
All these feelings came through...
5awla: enzen shu y3ne?
I tried to act as cool as possible.
Dana: y3ne 3adi? Bnseer?
5awla: hayh 3adi!
Dana: entu bt'thb7oni elyoum! Laish che bardeen!
3afra: 3adi 5awool 9a7! Were gonna have fun bitches!
5awla: YEAH BABE yalla drive w 76i a'3ani
Dana: text ur 7aidar w tell him enh 6l3na
5awla: my 7aaidar? Haha I like the sound of that ;;)
3afra: oob ooob
5awla: atm95r -_-
--------
*Shamma*
I changed my abaya more than once, suddenly all of them felt so lame and they didn't look nice on me. He made me nervous. I want him to see me as the prettiest girl he have ever seen. I looked around and grabbed that royal green abaya I had.
I wore it, applied make-up, and waited for him to come back. It was my date. I wanted him to be happy with me.
I called dana and she told me that he loved sushi so were going to have some sushi!
I hear a knock on the door and there he was, with his dark black kandoora and he looked very sexy.
Black looks better than white, blacks makes him look more manly with his sharp features. He smiled and I smiled back.
3mair: yalla?
Why is he so sexy I wondered.
3mair: 6a3 shamma arms mno ana
I smiled again and I held his hand.
I looked at him and smiled for the 3rd time. He makes me happy.
After we got into the car, I got millions of questions.
Shamma: 3mair 5aala9 youm bnoo9l bt3rf!
3mair: 3ad ma7b che aser mkan ma3rfh, w 7rmti tsoog wna ahbal yals chee
I laughed. The way he said 7rmti made me realize how I really chose the right man.
-----
We got into the restaurant. I took a seat next to dana while 3afra faced us. I was waiting for 7aidar. I needed to see him, I miss him so badly! He made me feel that nothing mattered.
How ironic is that? I MET HIM ONCE and he makes me feel all that. but im so scared that hell se shamma and freak out just like the way i freak out when i see 3mair. i dont want shamma to feel embarassed to but 7aidar said that there was nothing going on, he never told her anything and she didnt love him. shamma would be ok but 7aidar. i hope hes really over her like he said he was.
3afra: there are NO guys here. uff. Maaba chee dano aba awlad 7lween aba 3yooni yshofon wayh 7loo :(
Dana: enty yaya hni 3shan taklen wla tshofen awlad?
I laughed.
5awla: 3afoor allah y3en raylch that's all I can say.
3afra; walla if I had the right guy and he came to ask for my hand, I'd say ok 3la 6ool. Aba atzwj w bs. Maba adrs. Maba at5rj.
Dana: NO PASSION.
3afra: I don't need to work, daddy is enough.
Dana: mashay 6moo7 7g elmst8bl 3afoor?
3afra: la mashay lel2sf
5awla: omggg omggg omgg you guys! Here he come!
They all turned around with their jaws dropped.
------
3mair: hahaha sushi mst7el shammo kaif 3rfti.
Shamma: mdri bs elmhm 3rft :$
She looked into my eyes and I came close. I kissed her neck and she felt weak.
She held my hand for support and I thought maybe just maybe I can fall inlove with this girl.
28 September 2012
11 August 2012
O&K 18
I looked at her and I just couldn't. I couldn't touch her. I couldn't get close enough to do what every man would do if he was in my place.
She was smiling, looking really shy. She looked down.
I closed my eyes for 2 seconds, imagined 5awla's face and I held her face to kiss her.
I kissed her in reality but I kissed K with my eyes closed.
-----
*Afra*
Dana: omg how weird was that?
Afra: 9dg malh da3i ely estwa klah.
Dana: walla lw ana mkan shamma chan mt, bs ymkn elmskena ma 3rft wain byer.
Afra: '3abya enty b3d aked ma 3rft enh reja3 edwr 5awla.
Dana: walla 5ayfa 3la 5awool w 3la shamma.
Afra: t9dgen dano, amot w a3rf laish um 3mair ma tba 5awla w he mafeha wla 3aib.
I looked at her waiting for a reply but she was too busy grabbing every meal and placing it on her plate.
I grabbed a napkin and threw it at her.
Afra: hey enty yal duba bsch akl 5aiba.
Dana: chub chub ma 5loni 2akl.
Afra: agool skri 7ljch lw3ti chbdi.
She laughed and I smiled. I just love this stupid girl.
------
I got back to the house, took off the fstan that was bothering me like hell. Threw everything away. Wore my comfy pj's and jumped on my bed.
I called 7aidar and we had a conversation that lasted for 3 hours. Gosh, I can talk to this person without even worrying what to say next or what hed say next.
I told him about Omair, he said what others were trying to tell me all along, that I have to ignore and stay away even if he came back but this time I understood. He convinced me. My cousins tried to for ages but he did that during a phonecall in 15 mins. How unreal is that?
5awla: 7aidaaar walla bs maroom a'67k zyadah.
7aidar: shda3wa 5awla, t'67ken a7s mn ma tbchen 9a7?
5awla: 9a7 bs ma knt a9e7 ana wya wayhk knt ashkelk bs.
7aidar: ee ee shway knti w tbchen.
5awla: kaifk -,-
There was silence for 2 mins but then..
5awla: 7aidar
7aidar: halla
5awla: ana mstansa eny shftk, 6l3t mn el3rs w eltgait feek
He laughed
7aidar:ee 5oosh 9dfa
I smiled.
5awla: laish enta hni
7aidar: 3ndi sh'3lah 6wlt, knt lazm abga hni 7g sh'hrain bs hal sh'hrain 9araw sntain.
5awla: w che btst8r hni
7aidar: la ma'6ni, elkuwait lazm ardlha
I felt sad when he said that.
5awla: SOOOOO! I'm so sleepy
As always, I take the easy way out.
7aidar: good night 5awla.
We said our goodnights and closed the phone.
I slept with a smile, I forgot about the fact that he may be leaving but hey phones exist. I also forgot about the fact that my lover would now be sleeping next to a women that's not me.
-----
I looked at my other side and I saw her right there, next to me, sleeping.
I was disgusted. I don't know how I've done what I've done. It doesn't feel good at all. I want to go and take a shower to feel good.
I don't want to do this to someone I have no feelings for. This is just hard. I feel like shit.
I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. I washed my face a couple of times. I sat there for hours, thinking about everything.
I can't do it. I'm not getting any younger, I dont want to have kids with her. There is nothing wrong with shamma. She's amazingly innocent but the problem is that she's not khawla.
I picked up my phone and I called her.
------
While I was on cloud 9 sleeping like a princess, my fucking phone couldn't stop ringing.
Is it Dana?
Is it Afra?
Is it 7aidar?
Who should I murder?
But unfortuently the person who called was not part of the list above.
I was shocked. My hands were shaking.
I rubbed my eyes and I sat up.
I said bsmllah and I answered the call.
5awla: aloo
----
What was I doing? No what was I thinking?
When I heard her voice, everything felt good
3mair: aloo
----
3mair: aloo
What should I say? Should I ask him why is he calling or should I uff I don't know.
3mair: 5awla
I bit my lips.
5awla: halla
3mair: ana ta3ban.
My heart ached. He sound tired, more than tired.
5awla: mn shu
3mair: la tst3b6ain
5awla: mb yalsa ast3b6
3mair: shu tswen
5awla: knt ragda
3mair: y3ne w3aitch
5awla: hayh
3mair: a7sn
He laughed and I laughed too.
5awla: 78eer
3mair: sbalah
5awla: bntk elsbalah mb ana
3mair: enzen 5lena mn bnty, 5awla
5awla: hmm
3mair: gooly 3mair
5awla: 6a3 ha laish enshallah
3mair: enty bs goly
5awla: 3mair
3mair: b3d
5awla: 3mair bs shu hal s5afah
3mair: a7bch.
I teared. That was so unexpected.
5awla: 3mair please stop it walla *sniff* I hate feeling bad about myself and I don't know. Just don't call.
He closes the line and he leaves me like this.
Shocked. Confused. Sad. Lonely.
Ufff I feel like a bitch. I feel so bad and ugly. Why would I make him do this to shamma? Laish a7rg galbha w a3wr galby?
Knt lazm mared 3l phone a9ln. Stupid me.
One word changes everything.
I sent him a text
5awla: est'3fr rabk, et3wath mn eblees w seer ergd enzen. Forget about it, Its like nothing happened. Were just hurting each other w njr7 ensanah malha 59.
----
I read that text and I cursed.
Whenever I tell myself that I should stop thinking about her, I get back to the same start point where I get weak and I call her and I obsess over her.
5awla feha mlyon 3aib w feha ashya2 akrha lakn a7bha.
W shamma ma shft mnha wla shay '3l6, thtm feni, ma tjr7ni, t76ni fe 3yonha bs mb raym 7ta a6al3ha.
I took a shower and went back to sleep.
----
Next Morning...
@ shamma and 3mair
*shamma*
There he was sleeping looking adorable.
I got close to him and kissed his lips.
He opens his eyes, looks at me, then goes back to sleep.
I frowned. Maybe he's just tired.
I got out of bed and I head to the bathroom. I see his phone and I laugh.
Did he forget his phone in the bathroom?
I grab his phone and I place it back on his desk.
I changed my clothes and brushed my teeth.
I sat infront of the tv and waited for him to just wake up. I felt so bored.
I went back to our room and opened the lights.
Shamma: OMAAAIR YALLAAAA nsh
I see him moving and starting to rub his eyes.
I go and sit next to him on bed.
Shamma: tra malait wna yalsa broo7i.
He grabs my hand and pushes me
3mair: enty habla? 7d ygwm ensan naym che?
I got so scared, he was pushing me and he looked so angry.
Shamma: hdni 3mair shu feek.
I threw his hand and I went back to the 9alah.
----
*3mair*
A7enh ana mtfyj ayls az3lha w 3gb ara'6eha. 7alah hay.
Bs 9dg ana ragd shu y59ha feni ma tfhm eny t3ban.
I get up so angry and head to the bathroom.
I go back to the 9alah and I look at her sitting there looking so sad.
I sit next to her and I grab her hand.
3mair: tra akrah shay 3ndi youm ana naym w 7d eye w ygwmni. An8hr.
I smile and she smiles back.
Shamma: sorry bs walla malait broo7i galby.
I hugged her and I kissed her head.
3mair: nt3sha br3 elyoum?
Shamma: hayh please 3mair!
3mair: enshallah 7abebti. Yalla goomi 5lna nnzl ntryg t7t.
Shamma: ana jahza enta bs elbs 3dl.
3mair: balani ana labs 3dl.
Shamma: btlbs cut? La ma7b. Kl 7d yshofk a'3ar.
I smiled and she looks away.
I kiss her neck and she turns red.
Isn't she just cute?
I was about to get up and go change but she holds my hand, stand up, and kisses me.
Shamma: a7bk.
I smile and I remember K.
-----
Dana: elyoum bnser nt3sha br3 LAZM!
Afra: ok goli 7g 5awla, bnser nakl sushi.
Dana: la la mb sushi, bt'thkr 3mairo w btels t9e7. Mafena.
Afra; shu y59 3mair now, ana ensanah mshthya sushi ya5i.
Dana: sushi 7ub 3mair enty yal zag, yal DUBA
Afra; entty elduba. Ma shb3ti mn akl ams?
Dana: la ma shb3t w mb sayren sushi.
Afra: bnser sushi w btshofen a7enh bgol 7g Khawla
Afra grabs her phone and bbm's K.
Afra:
SUSHI? DINNER? 7:00?
5awla:
YES!YES!YES!
Afra: galat yes w mt7msa :)
Dana: kaifkm ana 5brtkm. 3ndi e7sas enh hal sushi bydmr youmna.
Afra; agoool 5fi 3lenaaaa please danoo tra enty bs dana alx mb w7dh t3rf elmst8bl.
Dana: CHUB CHUB CHUB ana a9ln mtfyjh a7atekm
Afra: fkri fe b6nch w el7ayah 7lwaa :B
----
*dana*
Shamma just called me and asked for a place to go for dinner. She told me she wanted a place that 3mair loved and I told her he loved sushi. WHAT IF THEY GO THERE TODAY AND WE MEET UP!!! I'm so scared.
I don't want to tell the girls about shamma's phoncecall because 5awla will get dramatic to the fact that I'm talking to her and afra would be typical afra. She wouldn't care, she would love the fact that 5awla would get used to 3mair and shamma around.
I don't want to hurt 5awla and I don't feel like hurting shamma too. I love them. Were not going to eat sushi, I'm so convincing them to change plans
I hope this works.
She was smiling, looking really shy. She looked down.
I closed my eyes for 2 seconds, imagined 5awla's face and I held her face to kiss her.
I kissed her in reality but I kissed K with my eyes closed.
-----
*Afra*
Dana: omg how weird was that?
Afra: 9dg malh da3i ely estwa klah.
Dana: walla lw ana mkan shamma chan mt, bs ymkn elmskena ma 3rft wain byer.
Afra: '3abya enty b3d aked ma 3rft enh reja3 edwr 5awla.
Dana: walla 5ayfa 3la 5awool w 3la shamma.
Afra: t9dgen dano, amot w a3rf laish um 3mair ma tba 5awla w he mafeha wla 3aib.
I looked at her waiting for a reply but she was too busy grabbing every meal and placing it on her plate.
I grabbed a napkin and threw it at her.
Afra: hey enty yal duba bsch akl 5aiba.
Dana: chub chub ma 5loni 2akl.
Afra: agool skri 7ljch lw3ti chbdi.
She laughed and I smiled. I just love this stupid girl.
------
I got back to the house, took off the fstan that was bothering me like hell. Threw everything away. Wore my comfy pj's and jumped on my bed.
I called 7aidar and we had a conversation that lasted for 3 hours. Gosh, I can talk to this person without even worrying what to say next or what hed say next.
I told him about Omair, he said what others were trying to tell me all along, that I have to ignore and stay away even if he came back but this time I understood. He convinced me. My cousins tried to for ages but he did that during a phonecall in 15 mins. How unreal is that?
5awla: 7aidaaar walla bs maroom a'67k zyadah.
7aidar: shda3wa 5awla, t'67ken a7s mn ma tbchen 9a7?
5awla: 9a7 bs ma knt a9e7 ana wya wayhk knt ashkelk bs.
7aidar: ee ee shway knti w tbchen.
5awla: kaifk -,-
There was silence for 2 mins but then..
5awla: 7aidar
7aidar: halla
5awla: ana mstansa eny shftk, 6l3t mn el3rs w eltgait feek
He laughed
7aidar:ee 5oosh 9dfa
I smiled.
5awla: laish enta hni
7aidar: 3ndi sh'3lah 6wlt, knt lazm abga hni 7g sh'hrain bs hal sh'hrain 9araw sntain.
5awla: w che btst8r hni
7aidar: la ma'6ni, elkuwait lazm ardlha
I felt sad when he said that.
5awla: SOOOOO! I'm so sleepy
As always, I take the easy way out.
7aidar: good night 5awla.
We said our goodnights and closed the phone.
I slept with a smile, I forgot about the fact that he may be leaving but hey phones exist. I also forgot about the fact that my lover would now be sleeping next to a women that's not me.
-----
I looked at my other side and I saw her right there, next to me, sleeping.
I was disgusted. I don't know how I've done what I've done. It doesn't feel good at all. I want to go and take a shower to feel good.
I don't want to do this to someone I have no feelings for. This is just hard. I feel like shit.
I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. I washed my face a couple of times. I sat there for hours, thinking about everything.
I can't do it. I'm not getting any younger, I dont want to have kids with her. There is nothing wrong with shamma. She's amazingly innocent but the problem is that she's not khawla.
I picked up my phone and I called her.
------
While I was on cloud 9 sleeping like a princess, my fucking phone couldn't stop ringing.
Is it Dana?
Is it Afra?
Is it 7aidar?
Who should I murder?
But unfortuently the person who called was not part of the list above.
I was shocked. My hands were shaking.
I rubbed my eyes and I sat up.
I said bsmllah and I answered the call.
5awla: aloo
----
What was I doing? No what was I thinking?
When I heard her voice, everything felt good
3mair: aloo
----
3mair: aloo
What should I say? Should I ask him why is he calling or should I uff I don't know.
3mair: 5awla
I bit my lips.
5awla: halla
3mair: ana ta3ban.
My heart ached. He sound tired, more than tired.
5awla: mn shu
3mair: la tst3b6ain
5awla: mb yalsa ast3b6
3mair: shu tswen
5awla: knt ragda
3mair: y3ne w3aitch
5awla: hayh
3mair: a7sn
He laughed and I laughed too.
5awla: 78eer
3mair: sbalah
5awla: bntk elsbalah mb ana
3mair: enzen 5lena mn bnty, 5awla
5awla: hmm
3mair: gooly 3mair
5awla: 6a3 ha laish enshallah
3mair: enty bs goly
5awla: 3mair
3mair: b3d
5awla: 3mair bs shu hal s5afah
3mair: a7bch.
I teared. That was so unexpected.
5awla: 3mair please stop it walla *sniff* I hate feeling bad about myself and I don't know. Just don't call.
He closes the line and he leaves me like this.
Shocked. Confused. Sad. Lonely.
Ufff I feel like a bitch. I feel so bad and ugly. Why would I make him do this to shamma? Laish a7rg galbha w a3wr galby?
Knt lazm mared 3l phone a9ln. Stupid me.
One word changes everything.
I sent him a text
5awla: est'3fr rabk, et3wath mn eblees w seer ergd enzen. Forget about it, Its like nothing happened. Were just hurting each other w njr7 ensanah malha 59.
----
I read that text and I cursed.
Whenever I tell myself that I should stop thinking about her, I get back to the same start point where I get weak and I call her and I obsess over her.
5awla feha mlyon 3aib w feha ashya2 akrha lakn a7bha.
W shamma ma shft mnha wla shay '3l6, thtm feni, ma tjr7ni, t76ni fe 3yonha bs mb raym 7ta a6al3ha.
I took a shower and went back to sleep.
----
Next Morning...
@ shamma and 3mair
*shamma*
There he was sleeping looking adorable.
I got close to him and kissed his lips.
He opens his eyes, looks at me, then goes back to sleep.
I frowned. Maybe he's just tired.
I got out of bed and I head to the bathroom. I see his phone and I laugh.
Did he forget his phone in the bathroom?
I grab his phone and I place it back on his desk.
I changed my clothes and brushed my teeth.
I sat infront of the tv and waited for him to just wake up. I felt so bored.
I went back to our room and opened the lights.
Shamma: OMAAAIR YALLAAAA nsh
I see him moving and starting to rub his eyes.
I go and sit next to him on bed.
Shamma: tra malait wna yalsa broo7i.
He grabs my hand and pushes me
3mair: enty habla? 7d ygwm ensan naym che?
I got so scared, he was pushing me and he looked so angry.
Shamma: hdni 3mair shu feek.
I threw his hand and I went back to the 9alah.
----
*3mair*
A7enh ana mtfyj ayls az3lha w 3gb ara'6eha. 7alah hay.
Bs 9dg ana ragd shu y59ha feni ma tfhm eny t3ban.
I get up so angry and head to the bathroom.
I go back to the 9alah and I look at her sitting there looking so sad.
I sit next to her and I grab her hand.
3mair: tra akrah shay 3ndi youm ana naym w 7d eye w ygwmni. An8hr.
I smile and she smiles back.
Shamma: sorry bs walla malait broo7i galby.
I hugged her and I kissed her head.
3mair: nt3sha br3 elyoum?
Shamma: hayh please 3mair!
3mair: enshallah 7abebti. Yalla goomi 5lna nnzl ntryg t7t.
Shamma: ana jahza enta bs elbs 3dl.
3mair: balani ana labs 3dl.
Shamma: btlbs cut? La ma7b. Kl 7d yshofk a'3ar.
I smiled and she looks away.
I kiss her neck and she turns red.
Isn't she just cute?
I was about to get up and go change but she holds my hand, stand up, and kisses me.
Shamma: a7bk.
I smile and I remember K.
-----
Dana: elyoum bnser nt3sha br3 LAZM!
Afra: ok goli 7g 5awla, bnser nakl sushi.
Dana: la la mb sushi, bt'thkr 3mairo w btels t9e7. Mafena.
Afra; shu y59 3mair now, ana ensanah mshthya sushi ya5i.
Dana: sushi 7ub 3mair enty yal zag, yal DUBA
Afra; entty elduba. Ma shb3ti mn akl ams?
Dana: la ma shb3t w mb sayren sushi.
Afra: bnser sushi w btshofen a7enh bgol 7g Khawla
Afra grabs her phone and bbm's K.
Afra:
SUSHI? DINNER? 7:00?
5awla:
YES!YES!YES!
Afra: galat yes w mt7msa :)
Dana: kaifkm ana 5brtkm. 3ndi e7sas enh hal sushi bydmr youmna.
Afra; agoool 5fi 3lenaaaa please danoo tra enty bs dana alx mb w7dh t3rf elmst8bl.
Dana: CHUB CHUB CHUB ana a9ln mtfyjh a7atekm
Afra: fkri fe b6nch w el7ayah 7lwaa :B
----
*dana*
Shamma just called me and asked for a place to go for dinner. She told me she wanted a place that 3mair loved and I told her he loved sushi. WHAT IF THEY GO THERE TODAY AND WE MEET UP!!! I'm so scared.
I don't want to tell the girls about shamma's phoncecall because 5awla will get dramatic to the fact that I'm talking to her and afra would be typical afra. She wouldn't care, she would love the fact that 5awla would get used to 3mair and shamma around.
I don't want to hurt 5awla and I don't feel like hurting shamma too. I love them. Were not going to eat sushi, I'm so convincing them to change plans
I hope this works.
02 August 2012
O&K 17
*Dana*
Dana: hathech wain e5tft 3afoor!
3afra: walla mdrebha .. Chnha 6l3t.
Dana: '3abya! 6al3a wagt '3l6 y3ne a7eenh elryayel klhm br3 fl reception w he mat3rfenha kaif tst7i 7ta mn her shadow.
3afra: ya allah 9dg bt'thb7ni hal bnt, lazm ayls ajablha 24-7 3shan matswi shay yf'67na klna.
Dana: 5ala9 eskti 3n tsm3 shammo.
Me and 3afra were standing next to shamma, watching 3mair slowly walk towards her. He looks really good, handsome.
But I was really worried about khawla, I kept searching everywhere for her but I was sure she wasn't in the 8a3ah. She left.
------
I quickly left the parking lot and headed inside. I couldn't stop smiling, finally I met a new person who can't judge my past. I finally found someone who I can talk to and hed understand without me trying to explain.
When I entered the reception it was filled with men. White kandooras everywhere! I was about to faint but I had to head inside the 8a3ah, I'm sure 3mair left with shamma by now. Its 2;30 am so they'd already be in the car heading to the hotel.
I got into the 8a3ah and I saw my family on a table having dinner. I sat next to dana and grabbed a plate but before I could open my mouth and start eating, they started staring at me and I was waiting for their lecture.
Dana: WAIN KNTI?!
Afra: tra 3aib, klna kna wagfen ela enty enzen.
Dana: w b3dain kaif t6l3en wnti t3rfen enh ryayel eldnya bykonon bara3.
Khawla; wal wal wal! Hadoo! Srt 3nd sayarti.
Dana: wallah? E7lfi? Mat'thkrti sayartch ela al7en , youm bydsh hoo.
Khawla: walla 3ad kaify maba ashoofh maba ashoofhm shu y59km feni 5ala9 5aloni broo7i.
Afra: agoolch krmena b skotch w eat wayd a7sn
She gave me a death stare and dana rolled her eyes.
I just wish they felt what I felt. They don't know the pain.
------
He was holding my hand and we were heading to the car. His mom was holding fstani mn wra and someone held the b5oor and helped me get into the limo.
He was queit.
He was cold.
Maybe he was nervous?
I don't know. I just didn't feel the excitement.
His mom left and my mom left. I was in the limo and he was outside, saying his goodbyes to the family and some of his friends. I waited for him to get in but it took too long.
3mair: shamma shwei bseer w bared ok? Bs shwei.
Shamma: awaih 3mair, wain btser hal wgt.
3mair: etryaini shwei fl syarah.
-----
They were talking to me but I wasn't there. All I was thinking about was her , K. Where was she?
I had to find her before leaving. 3ndi kalam mal snh. Bs kaif bagolh ana ma3rf.
I threw the bsht in the car and the '3tra + 3gal and ran back inside.
I was running like a crazy man looking for something special he lost.
I entered the 8a3ah, and there she was.
Nobody was in there.
Dana
Afra
K
And cleaners.
She gave me her back while dano and 3afoor gasped when I entered.
Khawla: bsmllah balakm yal 5bayl.
I heard her voice that makes my day. I felt weak. I wanted to run towards her and take her into my arms.
Her dark black hair.
The smell of her favorite perfume.
Her red dress.
Dana: 3mair!
Khawla: seeri walli rdaina?
Afra: la la 5awol 3mair 3mair warach.
Khawla: tt6nzon? A'67k?
3mair: 5awla
She turned around slowly and looked at me.
She was shocked, her face just what I needed to see. She looked more than beautiful.
I smiled.
Dana: 3maairoooo! Enta maynon? Shu yaybnk hni? Wain shamma!
Afra: agool m95tha 3ad
Dana: OMAAAIRR! Tsm3?
They were talking but she was queit. I wanted to hear her comment. Her voice. Her words.
Fj2a, her fone started ringing.
----
My heart was beating so fast. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't talk. I couldn't move. He came all the way back just for me, to see me?
Am I supposed to feel happy or hate myself for having another girls man?
I don't know. I was confused.
His hair, his eyes, his smile.
The kandoora on him.
Oh God.
I feel my fone vibrating and rashed almajeds song starts playing.
I wasn't there. I was with omair on our land living our fantasy.
Dana: 5awol! Mobaylch!
Afra: HEEY ENTY! Your fone is ringing!
I was completely starting at him and he loved it. He was smiling. I'm still in shock.
5awla; ana? My fone?
I slowly moved my ears towards my hand. It was really hard. It was like my eyes were attracted to his eyes.
I clicked the button and said " aloo" without even seeing the caller.
Khawla: halla 7aidar!
I smiled and they all gasped.
Dana: 7aaidar mnoo
I shushed her
Afra: yal 3yara golly
I grabbed my shaila and slowly headed outside. I totally forgot about his presence.
I bumped into him before stepping outside.
I thought I was dreaming and my fone was the alarm or 7aidar was the alarm.
3mair: wain w mno ha 7aidar.
5awla: shway 7aidar 3gb bt9l feek.
He said ok and I closed the line.
3mair: s2ltch s2al.
5awla: 7aidar, 7aidar hatha ely wyay fl jam3a , ely wyay fl group. Hayh group ysa3dni.
3mair: wly wyach flgroup byt9l fech hal wagt. Ma3ndh email y6rsh, lazm r8mch? Shu yba?
I was scared and I couldn't focus. He was so close. I couldn't lie. I was trying so hard to lie.
5awla: 3mair shu fek? Balak gltlk wyay fl jam3ah 5ala9 hdni.
He pushed me away and I almost fell. I grabbed the chair.
5awla; laish edz walla? Agool ser jabl mrtk a7snlk w 5lni ana fe 7ali. Tra ana 3ndi e5wan w 3ndi obooy walla.
3mair: walla w t8len adabch? A9ln ana el'3l6an ely yay armsch w adwr 3laich. Y3ne shu al7en kl ma bntshawf bnels nt'6arb w nsb b3'6. Mno sm7lch t36en r8mch 7g wa7d '3reb y3ne lw oboch 3eraf bykon ra'6i?
5awla: hayh! L2nh he's my classmate w y7taj r8mi 3shan were working together.
3mair: tra kalamch mb dash 3gli.
5awla: a7sn.
I grabbed my heels and started running outside.
I felt like crying and commiting suicide. Why why why? Why do we always fight? Why is there always something to argue about?
A9ln laish laish trden 3la 7aidar jdamh laish yal habla?
Chan al7en yalsen trmson w ygolch ely fe 5a6rh.
Uffffffffffffffffff :(
He came back inside 3shanch. Wadar his wife 3shanch. Wadar kl shay 3shanch.
Bamoot.
Uff.
-----
Dana: 3mair please rd 3nd shamma w la tf'67na
3mair: t3rfen mno 7aidar 3afoor.
Afra: walla ma3rfh ya 3mair w la t'6ayg 3mrk tra galtlk hoo mno w please rd 3nd 7rmtk wain mwdrnha enshallah.
3mair: ana mt'6ayg walla. Ma7bha mabaha 3aysh 7ayat rayal thani. He mb 7gi ana.
Dana; est'3fr rabk 3mair w rd 3ndha.
3mair: a7bha hathech dano walla a7bha walla abaha walla.
I threw everything around me and headed back to the car. lw ana ma aswa shay 3ndha w ba3tni che 3yal galby 3afha.
Shamma: OMAIR! Walla 5ft wain rw7t?
3mair: mashay 7beebti.
I kissed her cheeks and got inside.
Dana: hathech wain e5tft 3afoor!
3afra: walla mdrebha .. Chnha 6l3t.
Dana: '3abya! 6al3a wagt '3l6 y3ne a7eenh elryayel klhm br3 fl reception w he mat3rfenha kaif tst7i 7ta mn her shadow.
3afra: ya allah 9dg bt'thb7ni hal bnt, lazm ayls ajablha 24-7 3shan matswi shay yf'67na klna.
Dana: 5ala9 eskti 3n tsm3 shammo.
Me and 3afra were standing next to shamma, watching 3mair slowly walk towards her. He looks really good, handsome.
But I was really worried about khawla, I kept searching everywhere for her but I was sure she wasn't in the 8a3ah. She left.
------
I quickly left the parking lot and headed inside. I couldn't stop smiling, finally I met a new person who can't judge my past. I finally found someone who I can talk to and hed understand without me trying to explain.
When I entered the reception it was filled with men. White kandooras everywhere! I was about to faint but I had to head inside the 8a3ah, I'm sure 3mair left with shamma by now. Its 2;30 am so they'd already be in the car heading to the hotel.
I got into the 8a3ah and I saw my family on a table having dinner. I sat next to dana and grabbed a plate but before I could open my mouth and start eating, they started staring at me and I was waiting for their lecture.
Dana: WAIN KNTI?!
Afra: tra 3aib, klna kna wagfen ela enty enzen.
Dana: w b3dain kaif t6l3en wnti t3rfen enh ryayel eldnya bykonon bara3.
Khawla; wal wal wal! Hadoo! Srt 3nd sayarti.
Dana: wallah? E7lfi? Mat'thkrti sayartch ela al7en , youm bydsh hoo.
Khawla: walla 3ad kaify maba ashoofh maba ashoofhm shu y59km feni 5ala9 5aloni broo7i.
Afra: agoolch krmena b skotch w eat wayd a7sn
She gave me a death stare and dana rolled her eyes.
I just wish they felt what I felt. They don't know the pain.
------
He was holding my hand and we were heading to the car. His mom was holding fstani mn wra and someone held the b5oor and helped me get into the limo.
He was queit.
He was cold.
Maybe he was nervous?
I don't know. I just didn't feel the excitement.
His mom left and my mom left. I was in the limo and he was outside, saying his goodbyes to the family and some of his friends. I waited for him to get in but it took too long.
3mair: shamma shwei bseer w bared ok? Bs shwei.
Shamma: awaih 3mair, wain btser hal wgt.
3mair: etryaini shwei fl syarah.
-----
They were talking to me but I wasn't there. All I was thinking about was her , K. Where was she?
I had to find her before leaving. 3ndi kalam mal snh. Bs kaif bagolh ana ma3rf.
I threw the bsht in the car and the '3tra + 3gal and ran back inside.
I was running like a crazy man looking for something special he lost.
I entered the 8a3ah, and there she was.
Nobody was in there.
Dana
Afra
K
And cleaners.
She gave me her back while dano and 3afoor gasped when I entered.
Khawla: bsmllah balakm yal 5bayl.
I heard her voice that makes my day. I felt weak. I wanted to run towards her and take her into my arms.
Her dark black hair.
The smell of her favorite perfume.
Her red dress.
Dana: 3mair!
Khawla: seeri walli rdaina?
Afra: la la 5awol 3mair 3mair warach.
Khawla: tt6nzon? A'67k?
3mair: 5awla
She turned around slowly and looked at me.
She was shocked, her face just what I needed to see. She looked more than beautiful.
I smiled.
Dana: 3maairoooo! Enta maynon? Shu yaybnk hni? Wain shamma!
Afra: agool m95tha 3ad
Dana: OMAAAIRR! Tsm3?
They were talking but she was queit. I wanted to hear her comment. Her voice. Her words.
Fj2a, her fone started ringing.
----
My heart was beating so fast. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't talk. I couldn't move. He came all the way back just for me, to see me?
Am I supposed to feel happy or hate myself for having another girls man?
I don't know. I was confused.
His hair, his eyes, his smile.
The kandoora on him.
Oh God.
I feel my fone vibrating and rashed almajeds song starts playing.
I wasn't there. I was with omair on our land living our fantasy.
Dana: 5awol! Mobaylch!
Afra: HEEY ENTY! Your fone is ringing!
I was completely starting at him and he loved it. He was smiling. I'm still in shock.
5awla; ana? My fone?
I slowly moved my ears towards my hand. It was really hard. It was like my eyes were attracted to his eyes.
I clicked the button and said " aloo" without even seeing the caller.
Khawla: halla 7aidar!
I smiled and they all gasped.
Dana: 7aaidar mnoo
I shushed her
Afra: yal 3yara golly
I grabbed my shaila and slowly headed outside. I totally forgot about his presence.
I bumped into him before stepping outside.
I thought I was dreaming and my fone was the alarm or 7aidar was the alarm.
3mair: wain w mno ha 7aidar.
5awla: shway 7aidar 3gb bt9l feek.
He said ok and I closed the line.
3mair: s2ltch s2al.
5awla: 7aidar, 7aidar hatha ely wyay fl jam3a , ely wyay fl group. Hayh group ysa3dni.
3mair: wly wyach flgroup byt9l fech hal wagt. Ma3ndh email y6rsh, lazm r8mch? Shu yba?
I was scared and I couldn't focus. He was so close. I couldn't lie. I was trying so hard to lie.
5awla: 3mair shu fek? Balak gltlk wyay fl jam3ah 5ala9 hdni.
He pushed me away and I almost fell. I grabbed the chair.
5awla; laish edz walla? Agool ser jabl mrtk a7snlk w 5lni ana fe 7ali. Tra ana 3ndi e5wan w 3ndi obooy walla.
3mair: walla w t8len adabch? A9ln ana el'3l6an ely yay armsch w adwr 3laich. Y3ne shu al7en kl ma bntshawf bnels nt'6arb w nsb b3'6. Mno sm7lch t36en r8mch 7g wa7d '3reb y3ne lw oboch 3eraf bykon ra'6i?
5awla: hayh! L2nh he's my classmate w y7taj r8mi 3shan were working together.
3mair: tra kalamch mb dash 3gli.
5awla: a7sn.
I grabbed my heels and started running outside.
I felt like crying and commiting suicide. Why why why? Why do we always fight? Why is there always something to argue about?
A9ln laish laish trden 3la 7aidar jdamh laish yal habla?
Chan al7en yalsen trmson w ygolch ely fe 5a6rh.
Uffffffffffffffffff :(
He came back inside 3shanch. Wadar his wife 3shanch. Wadar kl shay 3shanch.
Bamoot.
Uff.
-----
Dana: 3mair please rd 3nd shamma w la tf'67na
3mair: t3rfen mno 7aidar 3afoor.
Afra: walla ma3rfh ya 3mair w la t'6ayg 3mrk tra galtlk hoo mno w please rd 3nd 7rmtk wain mwdrnha enshallah.
3mair: ana mt'6ayg walla. Ma7bha mabaha 3aysh 7ayat rayal thani. He mb 7gi ana.
Dana; est'3fr rabk 3mair w rd 3ndha.
3mair: a7bha hathech dano walla a7bha walla abaha walla.
I threw everything around me and headed back to the car. lw ana ma aswa shay 3ndha w ba3tni che 3yal galby 3afha.
Shamma: OMAIR! Walla 5ft wain rw7t?
3mair: mashay 7beebti.
I kissed her cheeks and got inside.
28 July 2012
O&K 16
*5awla*
They expect me to smile and greet people I don't even know when I'm broken and vulnerable. They expect me to forget about someone who will always exist in my life and be a part of it. They expect me to let him go not knowing that he was my soul. They expect me to be happy for them even though their marriage has destroyed the only thing that I was confident about, my relationship with O.
I don't blame them, they don't feel what I feel. They're happy that O is finally going to be a married man that will bring cute kids to the family. It doesn't matter if he loved his wife or if he loved me, they wanted O to get married and start a family of his own. His mother was the happiest, she got what she wanted. Her son away from me and happily married to a girl that she chose for him.
Are you satisfied K? Are you happy with your life?
If you asked me those 2 questions 2 years ago, my answer would be; " yes! I'm happy! Really happy! Everything is happening according to my future plans."
But if you ask me those 2 questions now, I'd say; " no I'm not happy, I forgot how its even like to be a happy person. I lost everything and I'm not afraid to lose anymore. I've lost the one thing that I cared about the most so now nothing matters. Happiness doesn't exist for me, its way too far and I can't reach for it."
But all of this doesn't matter now. O is getting married, shamma is his wife, and K is his cousin.
Dana: 5awool! Wainch enty! Tra bnnzl now bsr3h
5awla; yalla etryaini
Dana; balah 9otch?
She came close to me
5awla; ma balah shay. T3banah bs
Dana; kl ha ma yswa ya 5awla. Mb mn n9ebch w 5ala9
5awla; 9a7 kalamch.
She hugged me and left.
Mb mn n9ebch ya khawla, mb mn n9ebch.
------
3afra; shftii hathech danoo mdri shu esmha a'6ni sara, tlw3 blchbd!
Dana; adrii!!!! Fstanha 3ad mool mb 7loo!
3afra; wla amoon eldbah, 6a3 mkayjha chnha g6wa.
Dana; a7enh amoon w saroo 5lehm 3la 9oob, shofi hathech ely fstanha shway w byn6r mb rayma 7ta tmshi!
3afra; hay allah yslmch rbee3t shamma, esmha 79a.
Dana; 79aaa 7ta esmha bay5
3afra; bs 7lwa
Dana; ay 7lwa 9dg ma3ndch thoo8
3afra; e3trfai t'3arain -.-
Dana; a'3aar! Eskti bs gbl ma afrch br3
They both laughed.
-----
*shamma*
I was about to get married to the sexiest man in dubai.
He's perfect ya allah, maba ydsh 3shan a5af elbanat y7sdoni 3laih.
A'3ar 7ta youm dano wla 3afoor wla 5awol yklmoonh or yshofonh.
A7bh wayd wallah. He took my heart away, I can't wait to carry his babies and be his wife jdma elnas w el3alm.
3mair, 7ta esmh y5bl.
----
*3mair*
M7md; bs 3ad eyls mkan wa7d , b3d shwei bn6l3.
3mair; bs a7taj aseer mkan shway w bared!
M7md; 3mair allah y5lek ma nba mshakl, la tswelna flm hndi
3mair; aba aklmha bs! Tra mrat snh w n7na 3la hal 7al 7ta salam ma tslm!
M7md; wayd zain b3d! Tb3don 3n b3'6 ya5i mrtk ttryak hnak 3l kosha wnth tfkr fe 5awla!
3mair; 5awla hay ya m7md
M7md; 5awla byeha rayal y7bha akthr 3nk
3mair; shu etgol entah, ya5i ekrmna b skootk, mat3rf thdi elwa7d. E6l3 tra 39btni w a5af aswi shay yz3lna
M7md; bt'6rbni btsbni sawi ely tbah bs hal kalam ely lazm tsm3h, mn n9eb '3airk!
3mair; mst7eel , ya 3mair ya wla 7d.
M7md; mafek '6amer enta? Elbnt m5ltkn 3la kaifk w ra'6ya b zwajk, 5lha fe 7alha.
3mair; w enta laish dash 3ar'6, hay malty.
M7md; allah yhdek
3mair; yhdi eljame3 enshallah
------
*5awla*
I was wearing a red dress, O's favorite color.
I had a red lipstick that even girls would turn lesbian for me.
Lol I'm trying to make myself laugh but its not working.
I know I look hot.
I've lost weight for this wedding and I've looked for a dress just to make O regret this. To know that its his loss but O has nothing to do with this. I guess. He didn't choose shamma.
I had my hair on one side with really luxurious red diamonds.
I feel gorgeous.
Dana; yalla elryayel bydshon b3d shway 5awool, yebi 3batch.
5awla; UFFF mt2kda? Now?
3afra; hayh 5awla yalla!
I went to grab my 3bah and shaila then headed back to the 8a3ah.
My heart was beating so fast, I don't want to see him. I don't won't to cry.
The dj announces that elm3rs we9al w bydsh.
I quickly head outside, yes I can't handle seeing him wearing the bsht and all.
I put on my shaila, grab my bb and head outside the 8a3a.
I sat on a brown couch in the reception and stared at the blackberry screen hoping someone would call or anything that would make me stop thinking about him.
But who am I kidding? Mno byt9l 3lay hal wagt -_-
Suddenly, a tall tanned guy appears and sits infront of me.
I kept staring at him for no reason, he distracted me and I needed that.
Guy; shfeech?
He laughs and I curse
Walla shu hal 7alah, akeed ygol mno hal habla
Guy; shklch 7ta enty yaya mn hal 3rs.
5awla; ana?
I look around to see if he's really talking to me.
Guy; 3yal akoo '3airch
5awla; ma3rf
I smiled and he smiled back.
5awla; t3rf elm3rs?
Guy; la2...
5awla; ooh ymkn tgrb 7g shamma?
Guy; shamma.. La ma t9erli.
5awla; 3yal enta laish yay el3rs enshallah -.-
Guy; entay laish yaya?
5awla; ana cousin elm3rs. Yalla jawb su2ali.
Guy; ana 89tii 89ah.
5awla; tell me, I need something to distract me.
Guy; why? What's wrong?
5awla; drama.
Guy; my life is all about drama
5awla; well this drama is really lame.
Guy; ill tell you my drama and let's see if its lame as yours?
5awla; go ahead..
He moved closer and sat next to me. I don't know why am I even talking to him.
Guy: well the shamma we were talking about was meant to be mine.
5awla; E7LF! Shamma 7aaabeeebtk :o
He shushed me and laughed.
Guy: hadaay ya m3wda shfeech!
5awla; shu shfech entah b3d! Tra my cousin bytzwjha!
Guy; well tgdren tgolen 7ub mn 6araf wa7d. Ma tabeni hal shamma.
I looked at him and felt sorry. So he came to her wedding even though she didn't want him. He had the courage to see her get married to another guy and look at me, escaping mn el8a3ah 3shan mashoofh. Lame.
Guy; is it lame?
5awla; not at all! Its really brave walla!
Guy; brave?
5awla; yes! To come here and watch her get married.
Guy; well I'm happy for her... Shu aswi y3nee life is unfair, enzen yalla w 89tch
5awla; well my story is similar to yours. A7b elm3rs but we're not meant to be too.
Guy; look at how lame we sound. Tra hmm el5sraanen walla.
5awla; you don't get it. He loved me back but they don't want us to be together and now I'm a moron sitting out here just to ignore the fact that he's in there with her.
I started to cry and he looked at me.
Guy; la tbchen 3ad, tra eldnya ma tswa. Kani jdamch, mt7ml w 9abr w 7bebti ma3 wa7d thani.
5awla; allah y3een but you sound like you're over her already
Guy; it happened a long time ago and were ok now but I just wanted to see her happy. So I came.
5awla; I wish I can get over it...
Guy; you will trust me. You'll forget about him.
5awla; kaif y3ne w ana agdr ashoofah kl ym3ah fe bait yadoo w ashoof shamma w ashoof 3yalhm b3d. Walla 8ahar.
Guy; 3ad 9eeri gwya, hal shay beedch, lw b'3aiti tnsainh btnsain enshallah.
I smiled and he smiled back.
5awla; thank you stranger.
He laughed
5awla; so I'm sure you're not emarati!
Guy; yeah , kuwaity.
5awla; knt mt2da! Tbchen w entay.
Guy; mashay a7la 3n 7chena --.--
5awla; wna ma glt shay -.-
Guy; eee 7sbali b3d
We both laughed.
Guy; ma glteeli, shsmch?
5awla; ana esmi 5awla, w entah?
Guy; 3ad hay 5leeha sr.
5awla; 6a3 sr shu yalla 3ad gool
Guy; excuse me, mnjbr aseer.
I was about to say NOO DONT LEAVE ME! But wait, I don't even know him lol.
5awla; well it was nice talking to you tall tanned kuwaity stranger.
He smiled
Guy; yalla ma3a elsalama.
He was walking towards the parking lot but I couldn't. He was the only one who had the right words and felt what I felt even though he's over it, he went through it.
I started running with my 3baya and huge fstan underneath and my ka3ab.
5awla; entaaah kuwaity!
He turned around and stopped.
5awla; 3ad ystwi che trk"6ni wrak to the parking lot.
Guy; shb'3aiti -,-
5awla; naaaaaa7ees maleeee8 3la gooltkm
He leaned behind his car and looked at me.
5awla; LOOK this is really weird and what I'm about to say would sound way wrong but atleast you're not local eiy?
Guy: bring it on.
5awla; I think I need your number, I can give you mine, you're a person I can talk to.
I looked down and he was laughing his ass off.
Guy; tr8meeni ya m3wda!
He couldn't stop laughing.
5awla; never mind
I wanted to head back inside and never see his face again. What did I just do. Am I that stupid? Asking a stranger for his number and giving him mine just because he made me feel secure and calm.
I started walking slowly but then...
Guy: 5awlaaaa!
I turned back,,
Guy: tlfoonch?
5awla; why?
Guy: 36eeni eyah shway
I ggave him my phone without hesitating, WHAT ARE YOU DOING KHAWLA?
He typed something and then gave it back to me.
I looked at my phone and there it was, his name and number.
Guy: I miscalled myself to have ur number too.
I smiled.
5awla; tshrfna 7aidar.
7aidar; tshrfna 5awla.
And we both smiled again.
They expect me to smile and greet people I don't even know when I'm broken and vulnerable. They expect me to forget about someone who will always exist in my life and be a part of it. They expect me to let him go not knowing that he was my soul. They expect me to be happy for them even though their marriage has destroyed the only thing that I was confident about, my relationship with O.
I don't blame them, they don't feel what I feel. They're happy that O is finally going to be a married man that will bring cute kids to the family. It doesn't matter if he loved his wife or if he loved me, they wanted O to get married and start a family of his own. His mother was the happiest, she got what she wanted. Her son away from me and happily married to a girl that she chose for him.
Are you satisfied K? Are you happy with your life?
If you asked me those 2 questions 2 years ago, my answer would be; " yes! I'm happy! Really happy! Everything is happening according to my future plans."
But if you ask me those 2 questions now, I'd say; " no I'm not happy, I forgot how its even like to be a happy person. I lost everything and I'm not afraid to lose anymore. I've lost the one thing that I cared about the most so now nothing matters. Happiness doesn't exist for me, its way too far and I can't reach for it."
But all of this doesn't matter now. O is getting married, shamma is his wife, and K is his cousin.
Dana: 5awool! Wainch enty! Tra bnnzl now bsr3h
5awla; yalla etryaini
Dana; balah 9otch?
She came close to me
5awla; ma balah shay. T3banah bs
Dana; kl ha ma yswa ya 5awla. Mb mn n9ebch w 5ala9
5awla; 9a7 kalamch.
She hugged me and left.
Mb mn n9ebch ya khawla, mb mn n9ebch.
------
3afra; shftii hathech danoo mdri shu esmha a'6ni sara, tlw3 blchbd!
Dana; adrii!!!! Fstanha 3ad mool mb 7loo!
3afra; wla amoon eldbah, 6a3 mkayjha chnha g6wa.
Dana; a7enh amoon w saroo 5lehm 3la 9oob, shofi hathech ely fstanha shway w byn6r mb rayma 7ta tmshi!
3afra; hay allah yslmch rbee3t shamma, esmha 79a.
Dana; 79aaa 7ta esmha bay5
3afra; bs 7lwa
Dana; ay 7lwa 9dg ma3ndch thoo8
3afra; e3trfai t'3arain -.-
Dana; a'3aar! Eskti bs gbl ma afrch br3
They both laughed.
-----
*shamma*
I was about to get married to the sexiest man in dubai.
He's perfect ya allah, maba ydsh 3shan a5af elbanat y7sdoni 3laih.
A'3ar 7ta youm dano wla 3afoor wla 5awol yklmoonh or yshofonh.
A7bh wayd wallah. He took my heart away, I can't wait to carry his babies and be his wife jdma elnas w el3alm.
3mair, 7ta esmh y5bl.
----
*3mair*
M7md; bs 3ad eyls mkan wa7d , b3d shwei bn6l3.
3mair; bs a7taj aseer mkan shway w bared!
M7md; 3mair allah y5lek ma nba mshakl, la tswelna flm hndi
3mair; aba aklmha bs! Tra mrat snh w n7na 3la hal 7al 7ta salam ma tslm!
M7md; wayd zain b3d! Tb3don 3n b3'6 ya5i mrtk ttryak hnak 3l kosha wnth tfkr fe 5awla!
3mair; 5awla hay ya m7md
M7md; 5awla byeha rayal y7bha akthr 3nk
3mair; shu etgol entah, ya5i ekrmna b skootk, mat3rf thdi elwa7d. E6l3 tra 39btni w a5af aswi shay yz3lna
M7md; bt'6rbni btsbni sawi ely tbah bs hal kalam ely lazm tsm3h, mn n9eb '3airk!
3mair; mst7eel , ya 3mair ya wla 7d.
M7md; mafek '6amer enta? Elbnt m5ltkn 3la kaifk w ra'6ya b zwajk, 5lha fe 7alha.
3mair; w enta laish dash 3ar'6, hay malty.
M7md; allah yhdek
3mair; yhdi eljame3 enshallah
------
*5awla*
I was wearing a red dress, O's favorite color.
I had a red lipstick that even girls would turn lesbian for me.
Lol I'm trying to make myself laugh but its not working.
I know I look hot.
I've lost weight for this wedding and I've looked for a dress just to make O regret this. To know that its his loss but O has nothing to do with this. I guess. He didn't choose shamma.
I had my hair on one side with really luxurious red diamonds.
I feel gorgeous.
Dana; yalla elryayel bydshon b3d shway 5awool, yebi 3batch.
5awla; UFFF mt2kda? Now?
3afra; hayh 5awla yalla!
I went to grab my 3bah and shaila then headed back to the 8a3ah.
My heart was beating so fast, I don't want to see him. I don't won't to cry.
The dj announces that elm3rs we9al w bydsh.
I quickly head outside, yes I can't handle seeing him wearing the bsht and all.
I put on my shaila, grab my bb and head outside the 8a3a.
I sat on a brown couch in the reception and stared at the blackberry screen hoping someone would call or anything that would make me stop thinking about him.
But who am I kidding? Mno byt9l 3lay hal wagt -_-
Suddenly, a tall tanned guy appears and sits infront of me.
I kept staring at him for no reason, he distracted me and I needed that.
Guy; shfeech?
He laughs and I curse
Walla shu hal 7alah, akeed ygol mno hal habla
Guy; shklch 7ta enty yaya mn hal 3rs.
5awla; ana?
I look around to see if he's really talking to me.
Guy; 3yal akoo '3airch
5awla; ma3rf
I smiled and he smiled back.
5awla; t3rf elm3rs?
Guy; la2...
5awla; ooh ymkn tgrb 7g shamma?
Guy; shamma.. La ma t9erli.
5awla; 3yal enta laish yay el3rs enshallah -.-
Guy; entay laish yaya?
5awla; ana cousin elm3rs. Yalla jawb su2ali.
Guy; ana 89tii 89ah.
5awla; tell me, I need something to distract me.
Guy; why? What's wrong?
5awla; drama.
Guy; my life is all about drama
5awla; well this drama is really lame.
Guy; ill tell you my drama and let's see if its lame as yours?
5awla; go ahead..
He moved closer and sat next to me. I don't know why am I even talking to him.
Guy: well the shamma we were talking about was meant to be mine.
5awla; E7LF! Shamma 7aaabeeebtk :o
He shushed me and laughed.
Guy: hadaay ya m3wda shfeech!
5awla; shu shfech entah b3d! Tra my cousin bytzwjha!
Guy; well tgdren tgolen 7ub mn 6araf wa7d. Ma tabeni hal shamma.
I looked at him and felt sorry. So he came to her wedding even though she didn't want him. He had the courage to see her get married to another guy and look at me, escaping mn el8a3ah 3shan mashoofh. Lame.
Guy; is it lame?
5awla; not at all! Its really brave walla!
Guy; brave?
5awla; yes! To come here and watch her get married.
Guy; well I'm happy for her... Shu aswi y3nee life is unfair, enzen yalla w 89tch
5awla; well my story is similar to yours. A7b elm3rs but we're not meant to be too.
Guy; look at how lame we sound. Tra hmm el5sraanen walla.
5awla; you don't get it. He loved me back but they don't want us to be together and now I'm a moron sitting out here just to ignore the fact that he's in there with her.
I started to cry and he looked at me.
Guy; la tbchen 3ad, tra eldnya ma tswa. Kani jdamch, mt7ml w 9abr w 7bebti ma3 wa7d thani.
5awla; allah y3een but you sound like you're over her already
Guy; it happened a long time ago and were ok now but I just wanted to see her happy. So I came.
5awla; I wish I can get over it...
Guy; you will trust me. You'll forget about him.
5awla; kaif y3ne w ana agdr ashoofah kl ym3ah fe bait yadoo w ashoof shamma w ashoof 3yalhm b3d. Walla 8ahar.
Guy; 3ad 9eeri gwya, hal shay beedch, lw b'3aiti tnsainh btnsain enshallah.
I smiled and he smiled back.
5awla; thank you stranger.
He laughed
5awla; so I'm sure you're not emarati!
Guy; yeah , kuwaity.
5awla; knt mt2da! Tbchen w entay.
Guy; mashay a7la 3n 7chena --.--
5awla; wna ma glt shay -.-
Guy; eee 7sbali b3d
We both laughed.
Guy; ma glteeli, shsmch?
5awla; ana esmi 5awla, w entah?
Guy; 3ad hay 5leeha sr.
5awla; 6a3 sr shu yalla 3ad gool
Guy; excuse me, mnjbr aseer.
I was about to say NOO DONT LEAVE ME! But wait, I don't even know him lol.
5awla; well it was nice talking to you tall tanned kuwaity stranger.
He smiled
Guy; yalla ma3a elsalama.
He was walking towards the parking lot but I couldn't. He was the only one who had the right words and felt what I felt even though he's over it, he went through it.
I started running with my 3baya and huge fstan underneath and my ka3ab.
5awla; entaaah kuwaity!
He turned around and stopped.
5awla; 3ad ystwi che trk"6ni wrak to the parking lot.
Guy; shb'3aiti -,-
5awla; naaaaaa7ees maleeee8 3la gooltkm
He leaned behind his car and looked at me.
5awla; LOOK this is really weird and what I'm about to say would sound way wrong but atleast you're not local eiy?
Guy: bring it on.
5awla; I think I need your number, I can give you mine, you're a person I can talk to.
I looked down and he was laughing his ass off.
Guy; tr8meeni ya m3wda!
He couldn't stop laughing.
5awla; never mind
I wanted to head back inside and never see his face again. What did I just do. Am I that stupid? Asking a stranger for his number and giving him mine just because he made me feel secure and calm.
I started walking slowly but then...
Guy: 5awlaaaa!
I turned back,,
Guy: tlfoonch?
5awla; why?
Guy: 36eeni eyah shway
I ggave him my phone without hesitating, WHAT ARE YOU DOING KHAWLA?
He typed something and then gave it back to me.
I looked at my phone and there it was, his name and number.
Guy: I miscalled myself to have ur number too.
I smiled.
5awla; tshrfna 7aidar.
7aidar; tshrfna 5awla.
And we both smiled again.
24 July 2012
O&k 15
3mair; 5awlaa bs 3ad t3bt wna ark'6 wyach *laughing*
5awla; 5ala9 trak kbrt w 3yzt wna b3dni feeni 7ail
3mair; ely ygool 3mri 50 snh ela 20
5awla; 7ta law you're still old -.-
3mair; ana arawech mno elold
I picked her up and ran around like a stupid kid
She was laughing and laughing and laughing. She even teared from all the laughing.
5awla; nzlnii 3mair walla b6ni bynfjr
3mair; mno el old?
5awla; entaa
3mair; ana? Matooben? Tbaini adwrch elpark klh y3ne
I raised my eyebrows and placed my hands on her cheeks.
She looked at me and I looked at her for 30 seconds without moving my eyes.
5awla; shu
3mair; mtnana
5awla; SHU! Hhdni 3mair nzlni -.-
3mair; a9ln a7la
5awla; chub walla tnzlni, a5af eydk t3wrk mn MTNI :)
3mair; hahaha balach 5awool , atm95r walla
5awla; enzen yalla nzlni , 36sht
3mair; enzen enser na5th water?
5awla: w ice cream?
3mair; btmten zyadah che mb shay
She slapped my shoulders and started walking as fast as she can to the man selling water, chips, chocolate, ice cream, etc.
I started laughing and chased her
3mair; 5awlaa!
5awla; na3am
3mair; a7b al3wzch shu aswi
5awla; wa'67 -_-
3mair; yalla ay ice cream tbain
5awla; ma bgoolk ba5th bro7i -.- goom b3eed
She pushed me
I grabbed her hands w dzaitha waray
3mair: baba yreed thnaina ice cream kakaw w thnaina may
Ylst tt7r6m waray w tsbni sab wna mswlha akbar 6aff
3mair; kam?
Hindi; 15 dhs
I gave him the money and handed 5awool the bag.
5awla; wshdarak aba chocoalate y3ne
3mair; kaif shdrani? Ana 3mair
5awla; w shu y3ne
3mair; a3rfch
I winked.
She smiled.
-----
Shamma; ya waily ya waily! Bythb7haa w bythb7ni! Mat9l lain al7een akeed m39b!
Dana; ya allah shamoo haddi tra 3mair wayd open minded w cool
3afra; open minded raylch! Ma shfti kaif ywdha w d5lha elsyarah
Dana; y3ne aked byw9lha elbait
Shamma; w lw ubooha shafha, walla bamoot. Galby shwei w bywgf. Shu bygol 3ni a7enh!
3afra; shamoo may59ch! Lw s2lna bngol n7na we planned w b3dain knti labsa 3dl. 7ta sh3rch m'36tnh
Dana; hayh 9a7 kalam 3afoor!
Shamma; ufff brood feekm! Ana bt9l feeh
Dana jumped out of her place and grabbed shamma's phone!
Dana; enty habla? Maynoona? 5dya?
Shamma; 36eeni tailfooni! Aba aklmh!
Dana; 3afoor fhmeha tra bnjl6 , mat3rf 3mair!
3afra sat next to shamma, placed her hand around her shoulders
3afra; esm3i ya shamma ya 7beebti. Raylch ensan 39bi w may7b 7d yklmh w hoo m39b. Y3ne akeed a7enh lw et9lna feh bybhdlna w byg63na w b3dain tra klh wla 3mri. Mar'6a ysbni jdamkm (a) w shay thani tra 3mair mst7eel yrd 3laich.
Shamma; y3ne shu aswi 3afoor plz golele
3afra; ana agoolch 7ayati, fri eltailfoon w t3ali 5lna nakl pizz.
Shamma pushed 3afra away
Shamma; seeri kli pizza broo7ch, ana fe 7alah wnti fe 7alah.
Dana; UFFF tra bayekm kaff , 5ala9 ya5i lw3tu chbdi bs bs bs!
3afra; goomu dano 5lna nseer nakl pizza w 5leha t9e7 hay hni broo7ha
Shamma stood behind the door
Shamma; walla ma t6l3oon! Klmu 3mair
Dana; rdainaaa?!!!! Ya allah ya kareeem
3afra; t3ali danoo b6li eltv maba asm3 9ootha
shamma; a7sn -.-
--------
*5awla*
I was very happy, I can't even explain or describe what I'm feeling.
Were here , alone, no one is judging. Nobody knows that I'm 5awla and he's 3mair. I wish it could be like this forever. Me, him, and strangers that don't judge.
I keep looking at him and he keeps looking at me. I'm scared that this moment will end soon w ana ma shb3t mn shoofth. Were walking, hand by hand, he's telling me stories about jam3th w t59'9h wna asm3 w a'67k.
3mair; y3ne shu aswi a7eenh? Akml engineering wla?
5awla; shoof ana a7s engineering. You're smart, you can pass it with high grades bs its not your thing. Mn youm wnth 9'3eer etgol tba tstwi a doctor.
3mair; 5ayf 5awool tra mb shay shl
5awla; walla adri 3mair! Bs hal shay 6moo7k w a7lamk. T7eed youm kna nl3b awnh ana mree'6a w bamoot wnth eldector ely by3yshni!
3mair; walla ayaam.
5awla; edrs 6b.
He looked at me, came close, kissed my forehead, and smiled.
3mair; enshallah.
I grabbed his hands and looked into his eyes.
5awla; m7d et9l feek?
3mair; mdri
5awla; aked ys2lon 3na now
3mair; mayhmni
He was pulling me back and it was so dark that I couldn't see where he was taking me or if I was going to step over something. I was walking backwards , facing him.
Suddenly, my back touches a huge tree.
He touches my hands and I can feel him staring at me.
5awla; 5lna enrd elbait.
3mair; laish
I felt his breathe, I was going to dye.
My knees were going to bail on me and make me fall but I was strong.
5awla: mdri
It was hot, really hot. I was sweating, I couldn't even move.
3mair; 5awla
5awla; hmm
3mair; 5awool
5awla; na3am
3mair; aba aswi feech jremah.
He kissed my ears and I nearly fainted.
Jreemah?
What?
I was so scared. I trust him but he looks creepy.
I pushed him away and placed my hands on his face.
5awla; take me home.
3mair; maba 5awla!
5awla; please 3mair
3mair; ufffff at'3fr allah w atoob elayh.
He got mad. I don't care, what he's doing is wrong. No matter hwo much I wanted it or how much I loved him, its wrong.
5awla; et9l fe shamma , akeed t7atek?
3mair; emshy jdami emshy
5awla; la tklmi che 3mair!
3mair; agolch emshy!
5awla; lazm t39b w you ruin my mood! Malait tra, kl ma ystwi shay t39b mb 7alah hay
3mair; laish enty t5len elwa7d ystans
5awla; shu tbani aswi y3ne? Ely swaitah '3l6
3mair; '3l6 wla 9a7 , laish etebn 6areha?
5awla; 6ariii 7rmtk?
3mair; 5awla!
5awla; 7rmtk? Is it that bad? Shamma? Is it that annoying?
3mair; ya raabi
5awla; uff mnk tra lazm tt8bl elwa83 :)
3mair; 3aybnch elwa83, tbain tftkain mni?
5awla; hayh '3ayer kalami a7eenh
3mair; goomi emshi jdami 5leni aw9lch
5awla; a7sn!
I walked and he was behind me. I hate him.
------
*In the car*
*3mair*
Reminding me that I have a wife is painful. Its like there is this other person that I have to think about before doing anything with my life. Its like I have someone to worry about and keep calling to see if everything is okay.
I don't like it, I like to feel free and dependent. Especially when I have no feelings for that person. I can ask about her, I can take care of her, I can watch her but I can't love her. My heart has fell inlove already before meeting her. My heart is still inlove.
She was queit, she looked at the window without even making any noise.
I took my phone and called the famous shamma.
3mair; halla shamma
I can see her moving her head slowly to look at me after hearing shamma's name.
3mair; ely swaitooh klkm '3l6!
3mair; adri adrti knti mt'36yah w 5breni bs ely wyach....
3mair; enzen t9b7en 3la 5air.
I threw my fone behind the back seat.
5awla; a39abk w b3dain kaif tgool " ely wyach "
3mair; laish glt shay '3l6
5awla; walla tra may59k feeni w la trms 3ni 3nd 7rmtk
3mair; 7rmti w kaify, brms 3n ely abah wyaha :)
5awla; 3nad?
3mair; 3nad wla mb 3nad, kaify.
5awla; trak ..
3mair; trani shu? Arjooch kmli..
5awla; wala shay :)
------
After 1 year...
Shamma; mama tra walla ha klh wayd! A7s b6ee7 wna a7awl amshi to the kosha!
Um shamma; mb wayd wla shay! Enty 3aroos 5alaa9!
Dana; shammoo a7la 3aroos a7lflch!
Shamma; WALLA? Uff danoo thnx!! A7bch!!
3afra: bs 5lh y3dloon sh3rch shway, 5rbth umch -.-
Shamma; ok ezgri lavita 5lha ete et3dl
3afra: laviita! Laavitaa! Come please!
5awla; lavita rw7t.
3afra: wayh wnti laish yalsa fl '6alam! Nshy b3d shwei bnnzl nslm!
5awla; yalla bs b3dl lbsi.
3afra; ka2eebh ka2eebh -.- ebtsmai enzen walla ma bystwi shay.
To be continued.
-----
I hope you enjoyed it. I love you all! Thnx for waiting!
- Shamma
5awla; 5ala9 trak kbrt w 3yzt wna b3dni feeni 7ail
3mair; ely ygool 3mri 50 snh ela 20
5awla; 7ta law you're still old -.-
3mair; ana arawech mno elold
I picked her up and ran around like a stupid kid
She was laughing and laughing and laughing. She even teared from all the laughing.
5awla; nzlnii 3mair walla b6ni bynfjr
3mair; mno el old?
5awla; entaa
3mair; ana? Matooben? Tbaini adwrch elpark klh y3ne
I raised my eyebrows and placed my hands on her cheeks.
She looked at me and I looked at her for 30 seconds without moving my eyes.
5awla; shu
3mair; mtnana
5awla; SHU! Hhdni 3mair nzlni -.-
3mair; a9ln a7la
5awla; chub walla tnzlni, a5af eydk t3wrk mn MTNI :)
3mair; hahaha balach 5awool , atm95r walla
5awla; enzen yalla nzlni , 36sht
3mair; enzen enser na5th water?
5awla: w ice cream?
3mair; btmten zyadah che mb shay
She slapped my shoulders and started walking as fast as she can to the man selling water, chips, chocolate, ice cream, etc.
I started laughing and chased her
3mair; 5awlaa!
5awla; na3am
3mair; a7b al3wzch shu aswi
5awla; wa'67 -_-
3mair; yalla ay ice cream tbain
5awla; ma bgoolk ba5th bro7i -.- goom b3eed
She pushed me
I grabbed her hands w dzaitha waray
3mair: baba yreed thnaina ice cream kakaw w thnaina may
Ylst tt7r6m waray w tsbni sab wna mswlha akbar 6aff
3mair; kam?
Hindi; 15 dhs
I gave him the money and handed 5awool the bag.
5awla; wshdarak aba chocoalate y3ne
3mair; kaif shdrani? Ana 3mair
5awla; w shu y3ne
3mair; a3rfch
I winked.
She smiled.
-----
Shamma; ya waily ya waily! Bythb7haa w bythb7ni! Mat9l lain al7een akeed m39b!
Dana; ya allah shamoo haddi tra 3mair wayd open minded w cool
3afra; open minded raylch! Ma shfti kaif ywdha w d5lha elsyarah
Dana; y3ne aked byw9lha elbait
Shamma; w lw ubooha shafha, walla bamoot. Galby shwei w bywgf. Shu bygol 3ni a7enh!
3afra; shamoo may59ch! Lw s2lna bngol n7na we planned w b3dain knti labsa 3dl. 7ta sh3rch m'36tnh
Dana; hayh 9a7 kalam 3afoor!
Shamma; ufff brood feekm! Ana bt9l feeh
Dana jumped out of her place and grabbed shamma's phone!
Dana; enty habla? Maynoona? 5dya?
Shamma; 36eeni tailfooni! Aba aklmh!
Dana; 3afoor fhmeha tra bnjl6 , mat3rf 3mair!
3afra sat next to shamma, placed her hand around her shoulders
3afra; esm3i ya shamma ya 7beebti. Raylch ensan 39bi w may7b 7d yklmh w hoo m39b. Y3ne akeed a7enh lw et9lna feh bybhdlna w byg63na w b3dain tra klh wla 3mri. Mar'6a ysbni jdamkm (a) w shay thani tra 3mair mst7eel yrd 3laich.
Shamma; y3ne shu aswi 3afoor plz golele
3afra; ana agoolch 7ayati, fri eltailfoon w t3ali 5lna nakl pizz.
Shamma pushed 3afra away
Shamma; seeri kli pizza broo7ch, ana fe 7alah wnti fe 7alah.
Dana; UFFF tra bayekm kaff , 5ala9 ya5i lw3tu chbdi bs bs bs!
3afra; goomu dano 5lna nseer nakl pizza w 5leha t9e7 hay hni broo7ha
Shamma stood behind the door
Shamma; walla ma t6l3oon! Klmu 3mair
Dana; rdainaaa?!!!! Ya allah ya kareeem
3afra; t3ali danoo b6li eltv maba asm3 9ootha
shamma; a7sn -.-
--------
*5awla*
I was very happy, I can't even explain or describe what I'm feeling.
Were here , alone, no one is judging. Nobody knows that I'm 5awla and he's 3mair. I wish it could be like this forever. Me, him, and strangers that don't judge.
I keep looking at him and he keeps looking at me. I'm scared that this moment will end soon w ana ma shb3t mn shoofth. Were walking, hand by hand, he's telling me stories about jam3th w t59'9h wna asm3 w a'67k.
3mair; y3ne shu aswi a7eenh? Akml engineering wla?
5awla; shoof ana a7s engineering. You're smart, you can pass it with high grades bs its not your thing. Mn youm wnth 9'3eer etgol tba tstwi a doctor.
3mair; 5ayf 5awool tra mb shay shl
5awla; walla adri 3mair! Bs hal shay 6moo7k w a7lamk. T7eed youm kna nl3b awnh ana mree'6a w bamoot wnth eldector ely by3yshni!
3mair; walla ayaam.
5awla; edrs 6b.
He looked at me, came close, kissed my forehead, and smiled.
3mair; enshallah.
I grabbed his hands and looked into his eyes.
5awla; m7d et9l feek?
3mair; mdri
5awla; aked ys2lon 3na now
3mair; mayhmni
He was pulling me back and it was so dark that I couldn't see where he was taking me or if I was going to step over something. I was walking backwards , facing him.
Suddenly, my back touches a huge tree.
He touches my hands and I can feel him staring at me.
5awla; 5lna enrd elbait.
3mair; laish
I felt his breathe, I was going to dye.
My knees were going to bail on me and make me fall but I was strong.
5awla: mdri
It was hot, really hot. I was sweating, I couldn't even move.
3mair; 5awla
5awla; hmm
3mair; 5awool
5awla; na3am
3mair; aba aswi feech jremah.
He kissed my ears and I nearly fainted.
Jreemah?
What?
I was so scared. I trust him but he looks creepy.
I pushed him away and placed my hands on his face.
5awla; take me home.
3mair; maba 5awla!
5awla; please 3mair
3mair; ufffff at'3fr allah w atoob elayh.
He got mad. I don't care, what he's doing is wrong. No matter hwo much I wanted it or how much I loved him, its wrong.
5awla; et9l fe shamma , akeed t7atek?
3mair; emshy jdami emshy
5awla; la tklmi che 3mair!
3mair; agolch emshy!
5awla; lazm t39b w you ruin my mood! Malait tra, kl ma ystwi shay t39b mb 7alah hay
3mair; laish enty t5len elwa7d ystans
5awla; shu tbani aswi y3ne? Ely swaitah '3l6
3mair; '3l6 wla 9a7 , laish etebn 6areha?
5awla; 6ariii 7rmtk?
3mair; 5awla!
5awla; 7rmtk? Is it that bad? Shamma? Is it that annoying?
3mair; ya raabi
5awla; uff mnk tra lazm tt8bl elwa83 :)
3mair; 3aybnch elwa83, tbain tftkain mni?
5awla; hayh '3ayer kalami a7eenh
3mair; goomi emshi jdami 5leni aw9lch
5awla; a7sn!
I walked and he was behind me. I hate him.
------
*In the car*
*3mair*
Reminding me that I have a wife is painful. Its like there is this other person that I have to think about before doing anything with my life. Its like I have someone to worry about and keep calling to see if everything is okay.
I don't like it, I like to feel free and dependent. Especially when I have no feelings for that person. I can ask about her, I can take care of her, I can watch her but I can't love her. My heart has fell inlove already before meeting her. My heart is still inlove.
She was queit, she looked at the window without even making any noise.
I took my phone and called the famous shamma.
3mair; halla shamma
I can see her moving her head slowly to look at me after hearing shamma's name.
3mair; ely swaitooh klkm '3l6!
3mair; adri adrti knti mt'36yah w 5breni bs ely wyach....
3mair; enzen t9b7en 3la 5air.
I threw my fone behind the back seat.
5awla; a39abk w b3dain kaif tgool " ely wyach "
3mair; laish glt shay '3l6
5awla; walla tra may59k feeni w la trms 3ni 3nd 7rmtk
3mair; 7rmti w kaify, brms 3n ely abah wyaha :)
5awla; 3nad?
3mair; 3nad wla mb 3nad, kaify.
5awla; trak ..
3mair; trani shu? Arjooch kmli..
5awla; wala shay :)
------
After 1 year...
Shamma; mama tra walla ha klh wayd! A7s b6ee7 wna a7awl amshi to the kosha!
Um shamma; mb wayd wla shay! Enty 3aroos 5alaa9!
Dana; shammoo a7la 3aroos a7lflch!
Shamma; WALLA? Uff danoo thnx!! A7bch!!
3afra: bs 5lh y3dloon sh3rch shway, 5rbth umch -.-
Shamma; ok ezgri lavita 5lha ete et3dl
3afra: laviita! Laavitaa! Come please!
5awla; lavita rw7t.
3afra: wayh wnti laish yalsa fl '6alam! Nshy b3d shwei bnnzl nslm!
5awla; yalla bs b3dl lbsi.
3afra; ka2eebh ka2eebh -.- ebtsmai enzen walla ma bystwi shay.
To be continued.
-----
I hope you enjoyed it. I love you all! Thnx for waiting!
- Shamma
15 July 2012
Hey...
Hello Readers,
Shamma is getting better day by day. She can finally move her hands normally without any sign of pain. She started writing post #15 and ill be posting as soon as I get the copy. Shamma has no internet acess so she writes posts and sends them to me by mail that's why it takes time to post.
* I LOVE YOU SHAMMO and I'm really proud that you didn't stop even though you're going through a lot!
- Meera (@MeeraMarri , her cousin)
Shamma is getting better day by day. She can finally move her hands normally without any sign of pain. She started writing post #15 and ill be posting as soon as I get the copy. Shamma has no internet acess so she writes posts and sends them to me by mail that's why it takes time to post.
* I LOVE YOU SHAMMO and I'm really proud that you didn't stop even though you're going through a lot!
- Meera (@MeeraMarri , her cousin)
27 June 2012
O&K 14
Next day * At Grandma's house *
I was staring at these beautiful statues they've got. They come from a wealthy family mashalla. Even though 3mair is young , heve got things that I can benefit from and we can live by.
I'm so happy that I finally found my man, I've been waiting for so long.
My heart wasn't broken once or twice , it got broken by many people.
Family, friends, boyfriends, and more. Even strangers.
I can't describe myself as pretty
I'm average.
I have the curves
I have the smile
I have the personality
But I lack confidence
I give everything but I rarely get back. I want to settle down , to start a family , to be loved and to love back.
3mair is the one. I feel it, I know it.
I smiled to myself and felt my fone vibrating
It was him
My face shined.
Shamma; good morning!
3mair; ahlain!
Oh his sleepy voice ~
Shamma; how are u?
3mair; sleepy
I giggled and he giggled too.
Shamma; well were going to wild wadi today
3mair; what? Today? I think m5tl6
Shamma; ya I knw
3mair; what do u mean u know , go tommorow.
Shamma; mb 3a kaify 3mair, elbanat yboon elyoum.
3mair; enzen elbsi shay y'36i sh3rch w jsmch.
Shamma; enshallah:$
3mair; hmm mno sayr bl'6b6?
Shamma; dana w 3afra w 5awla.
3mair; 5awla?
Shamma; ya 5awla a'6ni
3mair; aha enzen yalla bye , have fun
And he quickly closed.
Uffffff , we didn't even got time to talk. I hate this!
-------
5awla; IM TELLING U IM NOT GOING!
Dana; u suggested it 5awool!
3afra; COMMON! It will be fun
5awla; w b3dain its mixed today, my dad will kill me.
Dana; so what! Its not like u haven't lied to him about this.
5awla; what! Shu t5rfen dana? I didn't lie, I went because of 3ma--
And then I stopped.
They looked at me
3afra: and his name appears again.
Dana; well too bad , he's not coming today :)
5awla; well too bad I'm not swimming ill be sitting watching u
Dana: that is boring 5awla!
3afra; really 5awol? Are u shy?
5awla; shy wayhch, I don't feel like swimming. I have my period.
Dana; bullshit
3afra; go die 5awla, t3ali dano let's pick the sexiest swim suit!
Dana; yeah -.-
They gave me the look and went to the dressing room.
5awla; UFFFFFFF I hate u guyz.
Yes I don't want to go now because I don't feel comfortable. I don't like people staring at me especially men.
Gbl kan '3air, gbl they wouldn't dare to look at 5awla. He was with me
He held my hand
He watched over me
He led the way
Now he's not here
And I wouldn't dare. It doesn't feel right. It just doesn't.
I layed down on my bed and looked at the ceiling.
Grabbed my phone and went through all the chats. I have tons but one caught my eye.
3mair Alx;
La tseren wyahm.
What?!! Is he serious? Why should I listen to him.
5awool *??:
Na3am?
3mair Alx:
La tseren.
5awool *??:
Lool you're funny.
3mair Alx;
Too bad , I don't find this funny at all. I'm not asking you , I'm ordering you.
5awool *??;
I think you have your own wife to order around.
3mair Alx;
Ana glt ely 3ndi w enty t3rfen shu tswen
WHAT THE HELL!
I threw my fone and hollered
5awla; GET ME THE SEXIEST MOST GORGEOUS SWIM SUIT!
Dana; what?
3afra; YAAAAY 5awool is back!
I smiled. If he really wanna play this game , its fucking on babe.
Dana; pink or purple?
5awla; white!
3afra; yes yes white!
Dana: shu white! I don't like it
5awla; give it to me -.- bsr3h were late.
I grabbed the suit and headed inside the bathroom.
I kept thinking that its wrong. Don't do it 5awla. Go back to the bedroom. Wear your shorts and get over it.
But ana ensanah 3needa. Ma7b 7d y2mrni w 59oo9n 7d may59h feeni:)
-----
Shamma; I don't think 3mair will like it.
Dana; what! He won't even see us! Don't worry!
Shamma; what if he came?
3afra; why would he:s?
Shamma; idk I'm worried!
5awla; were here!
I jumped out of the car, put on my chanel sunglasses
Covered my body with a see through black cloth and headed inside.
The place was filled.
It was filled filled with hot americans
And disgusting 5leji's who won't stop flirting with every girl they pass by.
I took a seat and watched kids laughing. Mothers screaming. Men fooling around.
I loved the view.
U can see burj el araab
And its amazing! I think I'm gonna be enjoying today.
But suddenly....
Someone taps my back...
3mair; why are u here exactly?
Shamma; HES HERE! :O I TOLD YOU!
Dana; SHIT!
3afra; where where!
Shamma; there! Right next to 5awla !!
Dana: why is here 3afoor!
3afra; shdrani la -.- mtfyj ha
Shamma: omg! I think he looks angry
Dana; why and 5awol looks frustrated.
Shamma; he should be -.- look at what she's wearing.
----
*dana*
Shamma; he should be -.- look at what she's wearing.
I looked at 3afra b3d klamha, shu 89dha? Klh wla 5awool. She can't judge her.
3afra; she looks stunning. May59h hoo
Shamma; I know I know but he has the right to be mad , its a bad image.
Dana: no its not! He has to care about u and only u!
Shamma; calm down!
3afra; let's go!
-----
*5awla*
5awla; why are you here?
3mair; answer my question
5awla; answer mine.
3mair; 5awla!
He grabbed the chair and took a seat. He couldn't handle seeing me talk back at him. He never liked it.
3mair; mywd 3mri jdam elnass tra w b3dain shu labsa.
5awla; shu y59k ya5i 9dg f'6ool w rzh.
3mair: 5awlaaaaa!
I got scared.
I stood up but he grabbed me from my arms and pulled me wrah.
----
*3mair*
She looked aaah I don't know. Amazing. Her body is just gorgeous.
I can keep looking at her without even blinking.
She's killing me.
She can't share this with everyone. I feel like its my property. She belongs to me.
I don't know what I'm saying or what am I even doing but I couldn't.
I couldn't handle the fact that men could be watching her and thinking about her.
5awla; Hdniii ufffff
3mair; dshi elsayarah!
5awla; ma bdsh hdni!
3mair; DSHI!
He pushed me inside and closed the door.
He got into the front seat and drived as fast as he can
5awla; s5eef
Ignore 3mair.
5awla; fe kl shay yba ytd5l.
---
*5awla*
My arm is hurting me!
He pushed me into the car like I'm his dog.
He's taking me to I wonder where.
5awla; 5ays!
I kept cursing and curisng and all he did was 6aff me.
I hate being ignored.
Hate it hate it.
5awla; NZLNIIIIIIIIIIII
3mair; eskti! Mmkn tfhmeni shu labsa.
I looked at my body. I knew It was wrong. I felt like a bitch.
But he pushed me there. Why does he care? Why does he give a fuck what I do?
I kept queit.
3mair; ha fhmeni wla mat3rfen shu tgoolen. El9ra7h 9dmteni.
He looked at me and I looked down.
3mair; yalla enzli.
I looked around and It was that same park we were in back then.
I smiled
He gave me a hodie and I placed it on.
I ran like a child. This place is so special u can't imagine how.
5awla; OMG 3maaait tt'thkr hal shay!
He laughed and laughed. He stood there.
I grabbed his hand and I made him run with me.
I forgot why I was mad.
I forgot everything.
I focused on the moment were sharing right now.
I was staring at these beautiful statues they've got. They come from a wealthy family mashalla. Even though 3mair is young , heve got things that I can benefit from and we can live by.
I'm so happy that I finally found my man, I've been waiting for so long.
My heart wasn't broken once or twice , it got broken by many people.
Family, friends, boyfriends, and more. Even strangers.
I can't describe myself as pretty
I'm average.
I have the curves
I have the smile
I have the personality
But I lack confidence
I give everything but I rarely get back. I want to settle down , to start a family , to be loved and to love back.
3mair is the one. I feel it, I know it.
I smiled to myself and felt my fone vibrating
It was him
My face shined.
Shamma; good morning!
3mair; ahlain!
Oh his sleepy voice ~
Shamma; how are u?
3mair; sleepy
I giggled and he giggled too.
Shamma; well were going to wild wadi today
3mair; what? Today? I think m5tl6
Shamma; ya I knw
3mair; what do u mean u know , go tommorow.
Shamma; mb 3a kaify 3mair, elbanat yboon elyoum.
3mair; enzen elbsi shay y'36i sh3rch w jsmch.
Shamma; enshallah:$
3mair; hmm mno sayr bl'6b6?
Shamma; dana w 3afra w 5awla.
3mair; 5awla?
Shamma; ya 5awla a'6ni
3mair; aha enzen yalla bye , have fun
And he quickly closed.
Uffffff , we didn't even got time to talk. I hate this!
-------
5awla; IM TELLING U IM NOT GOING!
Dana; u suggested it 5awool!
3afra; COMMON! It will be fun
5awla; w b3dain its mixed today, my dad will kill me.
Dana; so what! Its not like u haven't lied to him about this.
5awla; what! Shu t5rfen dana? I didn't lie, I went because of 3ma--
And then I stopped.
They looked at me
3afra: and his name appears again.
Dana; well too bad , he's not coming today :)
5awla; well too bad I'm not swimming ill be sitting watching u
Dana: that is boring 5awla!
3afra; really 5awol? Are u shy?
5awla; shy wayhch, I don't feel like swimming. I have my period.
Dana; bullshit
3afra; go die 5awla, t3ali dano let's pick the sexiest swim suit!
Dana; yeah -.-
They gave me the look and went to the dressing room.
5awla; UFFFFFFF I hate u guyz.
Yes I don't want to go now because I don't feel comfortable. I don't like people staring at me especially men.
Gbl kan '3air, gbl they wouldn't dare to look at 5awla. He was with me
He held my hand
He watched over me
He led the way
Now he's not here
And I wouldn't dare. It doesn't feel right. It just doesn't.
I layed down on my bed and looked at the ceiling.
Grabbed my phone and went through all the chats. I have tons but one caught my eye.
3mair Alx;
La tseren wyahm.
What?!! Is he serious? Why should I listen to him.
5awool *??:
Na3am?
3mair Alx:
La tseren.
5awool *??:
Lool you're funny.
3mair Alx;
Too bad , I don't find this funny at all. I'm not asking you , I'm ordering you.
5awool *??;
I think you have your own wife to order around.
3mair Alx;
Ana glt ely 3ndi w enty t3rfen shu tswen
WHAT THE HELL!
I threw my fone and hollered
5awla; GET ME THE SEXIEST MOST GORGEOUS SWIM SUIT!
Dana; what?
3afra; YAAAAY 5awool is back!
I smiled. If he really wanna play this game , its fucking on babe.
Dana; pink or purple?
5awla; white!
3afra; yes yes white!
Dana: shu white! I don't like it
5awla; give it to me -.- bsr3h were late.
I grabbed the suit and headed inside the bathroom.
I kept thinking that its wrong. Don't do it 5awla. Go back to the bedroom. Wear your shorts and get over it.
But ana ensanah 3needa. Ma7b 7d y2mrni w 59oo9n 7d may59h feeni:)
-----
Shamma; I don't think 3mair will like it.
Dana; what! He won't even see us! Don't worry!
Shamma; what if he came?
3afra; why would he:s?
Shamma; idk I'm worried!
5awla; were here!
I jumped out of the car, put on my chanel sunglasses
Covered my body with a see through black cloth and headed inside.
The place was filled.
It was filled filled with hot americans
And disgusting 5leji's who won't stop flirting with every girl they pass by.
I took a seat and watched kids laughing. Mothers screaming. Men fooling around.
I loved the view.
U can see burj el araab
And its amazing! I think I'm gonna be enjoying today.
But suddenly....
Someone taps my back...
3mair; why are u here exactly?
Shamma; HES HERE! :O I TOLD YOU!
Dana; SHIT!
3afra; where where!
Shamma; there! Right next to 5awla !!
Dana: why is here 3afoor!
3afra; shdrani la -.- mtfyj ha
Shamma: omg! I think he looks angry
Dana; why and 5awol looks frustrated.
Shamma; he should be -.- look at what she's wearing.
----
*dana*
Shamma; he should be -.- look at what she's wearing.
I looked at 3afra b3d klamha, shu 89dha? Klh wla 5awool. She can't judge her.
3afra; she looks stunning. May59h hoo
Shamma; I know I know but he has the right to be mad , its a bad image.
Dana: no its not! He has to care about u and only u!
Shamma; calm down!
3afra; let's go!
-----
*5awla*
5awla; why are you here?
3mair; answer my question
5awla; answer mine.
3mair; 5awla!
He grabbed the chair and took a seat. He couldn't handle seeing me talk back at him. He never liked it.
3mair; mywd 3mri jdam elnass tra w b3dain shu labsa.
5awla; shu y59k ya5i 9dg f'6ool w rzh.
3mair: 5awlaaaaa!
I got scared.
I stood up but he grabbed me from my arms and pulled me wrah.
----
*3mair*
She looked aaah I don't know. Amazing. Her body is just gorgeous.
I can keep looking at her without even blinking.
She's killing me.
She can't share this with everyone. I feel like its my property. She belongs to me.
I don't know what I'm saying or what am I even doing but I couldn't.
I couldn't handle the fact that men could be watching her and thinking about her.
5awla; Hdniii ufffff
3mair; dshi elsayarah!
5awla; ma bdsh hdni!
3mair; DSHI!
He pushed me inside and closed the door.
He got into the front seat and drived as fast as he can
5awla; s5eef
Ignore 3mair.
5awla; fe kl shay yba ytd5l.
---
*5awla*
My arm is hurting me!
He pushed me into the car like I'm his dog.
He's taking me to I wonder where.
5awla; 5ays!
I kept cursing and curisng and all he did was 6aff me.
I hate being ignored.
Hate it hate it.
5awla; NZLNIIIIIIIIIIII
3mair; eskti! Mmkn tfhmeni shu labsa.
I looked at my body. I knew It was wrong. I felt like a bitch.
But he pushed me there. Why does he care? Why does he give a fuck what I do?
I kept queit.
3mair; ha fhmeni wla mat3rfen shu tgoolen. El9ra7h 9dmteni.
He looked at me and I looked down.
3mair; yalla enzli.
I looked around and It was that same park we were in back then.
I smiled
He gave me a hodie and I placed it on.
I ran like a child. This place is so special u can't imagine how.
5awla; OMG 3maaait tt'thkr hal shay!
He laughed and laughed. He stood there.
I grabbed his hand and I made him run with me.
I forgot why I was mad.
I forgot everything.
I focused on the moment were sharing right now.
18 June 2012
O&K 13
I apologize, not the best post but i promise ill keep writing!
Enjoy :*
---
*3mair*
She was sitting right there between my future wife and my cousin.
I looked at her and she looked the other way. I never planned on hurting her that much. I've never thought that she was attached to me hal kthr.
Shamma; btrw7 7beebi?
3mair; hayh b'3aity shay?
Shamma; t3al eeyls wyana shwei
She smiled and I smiled back.
Dana moved w swtli mkan next to shamma.
She grabbed my hand and started talking with a wide smile
The problem is that I couldn't listen. I was too busy looking at her while she was staring down at her fingers.
Shamma; yooh 3mair aklm mnu ana
3mair; sorry sr7t, shu?
Shamma; 3afra etgool 9ootk wayd 7loo
Dana; haaayh! E7lfi ma sm3ch 9ooth tra walla y5bl
Shamma; t9dgoon ma sm3ni wna 56eebth
3afra; yaalla '3nlha 3maair
Dana; hayh hayh!
*5awla*
Why do my cousins have to be so cruel like that? '3neelha? Really 3afra? Really dana? Do you guyz think that I can bare listening to him singing to shamma?
I stood up and excused myself
5awla; bser bshrb may
Shamma; la shu! Leaving when 3mair is about to sing! Ylsi w hach may!
She gave me a bottle of water and I cursed.
He looked at me and I rolled my eyes.
No, I don't want to hear him sing
No, I'm not ok with her being close to him
Is that weird? Am I overreacting?
Dana; yalla 5awool! By'3ni elrayal.
3mair; shu tbaini a'3ni shamma.
Shamma; mdri 7beebi ay shay.
3afra; enth '3air elnass 3ndi mal rashed elmajed.
My heart melted. That song was OUR favorite song. I can't stay here anymore
5awla; no no I hate that song.
Dana; what! BULLSHIT! Its ur fav song!
5awla; who said?
Dana; you did -.-
5awla; I di dnt..
3mair; e7m
He grabbed the guitar mn wrah and started singing
3mair; enth '3air elnass 3ndi enty 3ndi shay kbeer kaif b9br wna shayf nass mn 7oolk ktheer...
He kept staring at me
I wanted to kick his face.
3mair; ana a7bk w agolha lk klma 5leha fe balk wna mani ay 3ashg ana lama a3shg a'3eer walla lama a3shg a'3eer.
Shamma; seriously 3mair?! That was wow!
Dana; 5leeh y'3neelch shammo 3l stage fl 3rs
3afra; EPIC!
3mair; bskm entu. L3wztu el7rma aked fe 5a6rha etgol " shu myslni wya hal 5day"
Dana; 3n el'3l6 3maair -.-
3afra; m9dg 3mrh el2a5, yalla bara3 , sleepover mal banat bs
Shamma laughed and 3mair rolled his eyes.
He stood up and was about to leave but she stood up too and rk'6t wraaah.
The door closed and they all stared at me.
5awla; SHUUUUU!
Dana; s5eefh
3afra; habla
Dana; m3aaa8aa!
3afra; '3abya!
5awla; bal bal bal kaltooni, shu na3am 5air
3afra; n'6ratch 5leha 7g 3mrch ok? Tra elbnt mskeena
Dana; I agree
5awla; go die. I give looks bdoon ma7s.
Dana; chub. Walla shklh ma y7bha -.- 7araaaam!
3afra; don't say that habla!
Dana; its the truth
3afra; y3ne shu tboonhm ykonon foog b3'6 3shan ybynoon 7g elshai5a dana enhm inlove?
Dana; NO I don't see sparks.
5awla; please bs, can we stop talking about them? Roo7h bla radah enshallah.
Dana; 5awool shu raych enseer wild wadi bachr?!
5awla; yaaaa ybalna en'3yr jaw
3afra; weere inviting shamma too
5awla; ur new best friend?
Dana; hahahahah
3afra; t'3aaraain??
5awla; haha '67kteni ana a'3ar mnha laish?
---
*shamma*
Shamma; wait 3mair
He turned around and smiled
3mair; halla
I came closer to him and hugged him.
He was shocked but he hugged me back.
I felt warmth and love.
I think I'm starting to fall for this perfect man.
I raised my head and looked at him
Looked into his eyes..
Shamma; your eyes are honey
3mair; honey?
He laaughed,
Shamma; I mean the color -.-
I blushed and looked down.
He kissed my head
3mair; yalla rdi da5l b3dain bt9l fech.
Shamma; enshalla!:$
I runned back to the room like a kid.
I was happy , beyond happy.
Shamma; A7BHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Enjoy :*
---
*3mair*
She was sitting right there between my future wife and my cousin.
I looked at her and she looked the other way. I never planned on hurting her that much. I've never thought that she was attached to me hal kthr.
Shamma; btrw7 7beebi?
3mair; hayh b'3aity shay?
Shamma; t3al eeyls wyana shwei
She smiled and I smiled back.
Dana moved w swtli mkan next to shamma.
She grabbed my hand and started talking with a wide smile
The problem is that I couldn't listen. I was too busy looking at her while she was staring down at her fingers.
Shamma; yooh 3mair aklm mnu ana
3mair; sorry sr7t, shu?
Shamma; 3afra etgool 9ootk wayd 7loo
Dana; haaayh! E7lfi ma sm3ch 9ooth tra walla y5bl
Shamma; t9dgoon ma sm3ni wna 56eebth
3afra; yaalla '3nlha 3maair
Dana; hayh hayh!
*5awla*
Why do my cousins have to be so cruel like that? '3neelha? Really 3afra? Really dana? Do you guyz think that I can bare listening to him singing to shamma?
I stood up and excused myself
5awla; bser bshrb may
Shamma; la shu! Leaving when 3mair is about to sing! Ylsi w hach may!
She gave me a bottle of water and I cursed.
He looked at me and I rolled my eyes.
No, I don't want to hear him sing
No, I'm not ok with her being close to him
Is that weird? Am I overreacting?
Dana; yalla 5awool! By'3ni elrayal.
3mair; shu tbaini a'3ni shamma.
Shamma; mdri 7beebi ay shay.
3afra; enth '3air elnass 3ndi mal rashed elmajed.
My heart melted. That song was OUR favorite song. I can't stay here anymore
5awla; no no I hate that song.
Dana; what! BULLSHIT! Its ur fav song!
5awla; who said?
Dana; you did -.-
5awla; I di dnt..
3mair; e7m
He grabbed the guitar mn wrah and started singing
3mair; enth '3air elnass 3ndi enty 3ndi shay kbeer kaif b9br wna shayf nass mn 7oolk ktheer...
He kept staring at me
I wanted to kick his face.
3mair; ana a7bk w agolha lk klma 5leha fe balk wna mani ay 3ashg ana lama a3shg a'3eer walla lama a3shg a'3eer.
Shamma; seriously 3mair?! That was wow!
Dana; 5leeh y'3neelch shammo 3l stage fl 3rs
3afra; EPIC!
3mair; bskm entu. L3wztu el7rma aked fe 5a6rha etgol " shu myslni wya hal 5day"
Dana; 3n el'3l6 3maair -.-
3afra; m9dg 3mrh el2a5, yalla bara3 , sleepover mal banat bs
Shamma laughed and 3mair rolled his eyes.
He stood up and was about to leave but she stood up too and rk'6t wraaah.
The door closed and they all stared at me.
5awla; SHUUUUU!
Dana; s5eefh
3afra; habla
Dana; m3aaa8aa!
3afra; '3abya!
5awla; bal bal bal kaltooni, shu na3am 5air
3afra; n'6ratch 5leha 7g 3mrch ok? Tra elbnt mskeena
Dana; I agree
5awla; go die. I give looks bdoon ma7s.
Dana; chub. Walla shklh ma y7bha -.- 7araaaam!
3afra; don't say that habla!
Dana; its the truth
3afra; y3ne shu tboonhm ykonon foog b3'6 3shan ybynoon 7g elshai5a dana enhm inlove?
Dana; NO I don't see sparks.
5awla; please bs, can we stop talking about them? Roo7h bla radah enshallah.
Dana; 5awool shu raych enseer wild wadi bachr?!
5awla; yaaaa ybalna en'3yr jaw
3afra; weere inviting shamma too
5awla; ur new best friend?
Dana; hahahahah
3afra; t'3aaraain??
5awla; haha '67kteni ana a'3ar mnha laish?
---
*shamma*
Shamma; wait 3mair
He turned around and smiled
3mair; halla
I came closer to him and hugged him.
He was shocked but he hugged me back.
I felt warmth and love.
I think I'm starting to fall for this perfect man.
I raised my head and looked at him
Looked into his eyes..
Shamma; your eyes are honey
3mair; honey?
He laaughed,
Shamma; I mean the color -.-
I blushed and looked down.
He kissed my head
3mair; yalla rdi da5l b3dain bt9l fech.
Shamma; enshalla!:$
I runned back to the room like a kid.
I was happy , beyond happy.
Shamma; A7BHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
HEY!
Hello Everyone!!!!!
Ill be posting soon enshallah. Thank you for being so sweet and patient!
If you need anything or if you have any questions,
please dont hesitate to ask my cousin @MeeraMarri.
ill be sending her the posts and shell be posting them. so basically shell be the manager for a couple of months. I dont want you guyz to wait more so the blog will be updated by her.
I know im the worst blogger ever but bare with me.
I LOVE YOU! YOURE THE BEST!
Enshallah ill be back soon.
Ill be posting soon enshallah. Thank you for being so sweet and patient!
If you need anything or if you have any questions,
please dont hesitate to ask my cousin @MeeraMarri.
ill be sending her the posts and shell be posting them. so basically shell be the manager for a couple of months. I dont want you guyz to wait more so the blog will be updated by her.
I know im the worst blogger ever but bare with me.
I LOVE YOU! YOURE THE BEST!
Enshallah ill be back soon.
09 June 2012
ITS SHAMMA
Hello my lovely readers,
As you all know ive been through a major accident which had effected me mentally and physically. El7mdllah im recovering but ive got non-stop pain going all over my body.
I can TYPE and thats good. something to cheer me up!
My legs are in pain..
Im really bored out here in GERMANY with nothing to do
Sitting on the hospital bed and staring at a big boring TV. Ive requested to get a laptop and they agreed so HERE I AM!
Im planning to start a new page of life,
I dont really know what to wrtie for O&K's story, every plan i had in mind got vanished.
SO i dont know,
should i start writing a new story or try and complete O&K
I have a story in mind and thats great
Ive seen many things here and i can connect all the things ive seen to my story,
I think this might make my readers g mad since theyve waited alot for O&K's next post.
what do you think? new story or O&K?
Id like to thank my cousins, REEM AND MEERA, for always being there for me and helping me through everything.
I love you guyz!
xoxox
- Shamma
As you all know ive been through a major accident which had effected me mentally and physically. El7mdllah im recovering but ive got non-stop pain going all over my body.
I can TYPE and thats good. something to cheer me up!
My legs are in pain..
Im really bored out here in GERMANY with nothing to do
Sitting on the hospital bed and staring at a big boring TV. Ive requested to get a laptop and they agreed so HERE I AM!
Im planning to start a new page of life,
I dont really know what to wrtie for O&K's story, every plan i had in mind got vanished.
SO i dont know,
should i start writing a new story or try and complete O&K
I have a story in mind and thats great
Ive seen many things here and i can connect all the things ive seen to my story,
I think this might make my readers g mad since theyve waited alot for O&K's next post.
what do you think? new story or O&K?
Id like to thank my cousins, REEM AND MEERA, for always being there for me and helping me through everything.
I love you guyz!
xoxox
- Shamma
06 May 2012
Bad News...
Dear Readers,
Shamma, the owner and the writer of this blog, has been through a serious car accident which caused her to leave Dubai and go to Germany for medical reasons. I dont know when she will be able to write again, the treatment might take months.
Please ed3oolha...
- Reem (her cousin)
Shamma, the owner and the writer of this blog, has been through a serious car accident which caused her to leave Dubai and go to Germany for medical reasons. I dont know when she will be able to write again, the treatment might take months.
Please ed3oolha...
- Reem (her cousin)
12 April 2012
O&K 12
I stood up and started walking away with tears, I wish I had the strength to tell him about my true feeling! How I suffered without him , I learned the hard way. I learned how to put myself back into the society with a confident personality and a brave heart.
I've always been the girl that's being laughed at or the girl that's getting bullied at school.
At the end of the day, I would go to that place behind his house and he'd meet me there. We'd talk about my problems and he'd find a way to make me smile.
That place still exists but the problem is that were no longer the same people. We've changed and that place has been left behind with memories and only memories.
I try to stop the tears , I try to remain strong , but trying is not good enough right now.
I have to BITCH up and be that "IT GIRL"
I can't be innocent 5awla anymore, innocent 5awla is all about heart break and tears. I'm done with that!
I looked at myself and I don't like the way my eyes are puffed and the way my nose is all red.
-----
She left me and walked away, what I heard from her was a bit heart breaking.
I'm happy she's happy but am I really THAT happy?
I don't want her to smile when I'm not around! I don't want her to glow when I'm missing!
I can be selfish bs that's just me. She knows I'm Mr.Selfish but I can't change it.
Her loves makes me selfish.
M7md appeared and sat next to me
M7md; and how did that go
3mair; idk 7mood , she seems okay.
M7md; ya , and how are u feeling?
3mair; you're not gonna like the answer to that question
M7md; bring it! I can handle it
He laughed and I sighed
3mair; I miss her 7mood, I want to take her into my arms and smile mn kl galby
M7md; enzeen yal 3ashg , goom 7rmtk ttryak da5l
3mair; 7rmtk?
M7md; bs abak t7s how serious and real shamma is.
3mair; well you don't need to remind me
I placed my hands on my heart
3mair; she's gone and I'm ready for anything now, I need to flip that page 5ala9
M7md; just be careful 3mair , a3rfk w ely yals ydoor fe mu5k 3ks ely yals tgoolh tmaman. Ana m5aweek w a3rfk 3dl.
I gave him a slap on his shoulders and smiled.
-----
Dana; NOO WAYY SHAMMA! I've been wanting these heels since forever!
Shamma; haha 7beebti walla lw tboonhm , hach!
She passed the heels to dana with a smile
Dana; are u serious!
Dana started jumping with joy!
She hugged shamma and started doing her own little victory dance
Dana; ure the best! How lucky 3mair is 3afoor? Just tell me?
3afra laughed
Shamma; 7beebti walla danoo ur so cute! We can share our heels ;;)
Dana; OMG! Ure amazing!
3afra; hey shammo w ana -.-?
Shamma; ure all like my sisters now ! We can share everything
Shamma gave 3afra a hug and 3afra smiled.
I guess they're starting to like her , after all, she seems nice "NOT!"
I kept looking at my blackberry hoping that a red light would just appear!
But because of my GREAT luck , my bbm friends decided to be lazy and boring on the day that I need them most!
W b3dain y3ne , I'm used to my luck.
Shamma; agool girls
Dana and 3afra looked at her , including me...
Shamma; I want to know more about your cousin.
Dana; who?
3afra; 3mair?
Shamma; yaa -.- he seems so mysterious like I don't know how to bring these words out of his mouth. He's so queit and u know our marriage is arranged but I have strong feelings for him!
Dana smiled
Shamma; like he's tall and hot. He's so caring , he got the right body and smile. He's tanned , he's everything I dreamed of !
3afra; I'm just waiting for you to drool now -.-
Shamma blushed and threw a pillow at 3afra.
I feel hurt , she was just talking about my love , she seems into him.
I tried not to cry, I tried holding the tears back but I couldn't.
Tears started falling and I can see dana whispering to 3afra about hom emotional I'm getting!
Whenever I tell myself to stop and gain strength , I get back to the same start point where I keep falling down.
Shamma; omg why is she crying :s!
Ahhh 5ala9 I can't!
5awla; the she ure talking about has a name!
I said that with anger and left the frickin room.
I started running downstairs but then I bumped into m7md!
I collapsed into his arms and I cried.
I cried all the tears that I've been holding on for a year!
M7md; bs 5awool
5awla; its hard walla 7mood! Its hard listening to her talk about him and say nothing. Its hard sitting there like a stupid dumbass who gave up on her only love.
M7md; u didn't give up , it doesn't work that's all
5awla; but we couldve tried , we couldve aah I don't know :(
M7md; t3ali n6l3 br3
He held my arms and took me outside where I see him AGAIN but what?
I see him smoking!
He doesn't smoke :s he stopped years ago!
It was a bad habbit but he stopped!
Why is he doing it again :s
M7md was holding my hand but I pushed him and ran to him!
5awla; WHAT is this :s!
3mair; get back inside.
5awla; no ! Give me that 3mair!
He pushed me away and gave me a glare!
5awla; FUCK YOU! Stop it ! Its not good for you!
3mair; why should I care huh? Why 5awla! Give me one good reason!
5awla; because u have a WIFE to take care of! You have people who care about inside that house, you have cousins who die just to see you smile. You have aunts who look up at you for being the man you are today!
He started laughing
5awla; and why is that funny!
3mair; ITS BULLSHIT 5AWOOL! I don't give a fuck about anything anymore, now go away and give me your back again , like always just walk away!
He's frustrating! He's making me go angry!
I came close to him , looked into his eyes.
5awla; then if you love me stop
I grabbed his hand and placed It on my heart
5awla; if you care about It stop, you're hurting it a lot! You know I hate smoking.
He throws the cigarrate and he looks at me
3mair; I miss you
He whispered
I looked at him and I held his face , he looked so adorable.
5awla; you smell bad.
He laughed and I smiled.
5awla; don't ever do that again.
3mair; and why?
5awla; because
3mair; yes?
5awla; your wife loves you.
I shed a tear and he moves away.
3mair; will you stop talking about her?
5awla; everything revolves around her 3mair, she's a fact now, she's reality, face it!
3mair; then why did you come out here, why did you make me touch your heart and feel the love again.
5awla; because! I need you to stop! I need you to gain strength and be 3mair that I used to know and respect.
3mair; 5awool
5awla; no just listen! You'll learn to love her.
3mair; how can you say that:s?
5awla; I need to say that?
He came close to me, pushed me to the wall and whispered
3mair; say what your heart wants
5awla; I can't.
He punched the wall and that freaked me out.
I started shivering and he yelled at me
3mair; disappear NOW!
I couldn't move.
3mair; shu ttryain? Agoolch rw7i! Wla bnfjr 3laich
I started running and I met m7md again inside.
5awla; can you please go out there! He's going crazy!
I sat down on the couch with my head between my legs
What did you do 5awla?
May59ch feeh! Lw ynt7r b3d may59ch!!!!! Just stay away!
A felt someone touching me so rf3t rasi w I see 3afra
She came and sat next to me.
3afra; go apologize.
5awla; I seriously need less drama in my life.
3afra; what you said was mean. She's shocked. she didn't do anything 5awla!
5awla; but she took him away!
3afra; fate took him away!
5awla: oh no! You can't blame It on fate! It has nothing to do with fate.
3afra; just go and say sorry.
5awla; come with me?
3afra; sure!
While waking to shamma again , I told 3afra what happened outside.
3afra; 5awool promise me ull stay away!
5awla; I promised myslef. I need to be away a9ln
3afra; good girl. Just accept it ok?
5awla; ill learn how to? W b3dain I know ill always be a part of his heart.
3afra: no no , don't think about him! Stop!
I laughed and she kicked my ass and pushed me in.
Shamma looked up and had a disappointed smile
Shamma; I'm sorry , ma 89dt az3lch
5awla; no don't worry about It I'm sorry!
Shamma; so were ok?
5awla; ya sure!
Dana; come on girls! Nl3b uno? I love that game, let's be childish shwei!
3afra; I'm in!
Shamme; I'm in tooo!!!
Dana; 5awool?!!!!
5awool; why not?:)
--------
M7md; shu balak enth? 5wft elbnt w you're acting like an idiot!
3mair; shu tboon mni a7eenh haa?! Swaitu ely tboonh! Frgtoona! Shu tboon akthr?!
M7md; esm3ni 3mair! Mlait wna agolks bs ! 5ala9 wdr elsalfh ! Move on ya5i! U have a soon to be wife upstairs and ure doing this! Crying over stupid childish love!
3mair; so you think my love to her Is stupid and childish?
M7md; eskt w goom fooog , seer salem 3laiha gbl la trw7
M7md; ma b3eed kalami 3mair, btryak fl syarah!
3mair; just go away!
I kept thinking to myself, why am I doing this?
Why am I putting myself in this bad position and putting her in it too?
We don't deserve this! I don't! She doesn't!
I've been thinking about myself lately and abandoning all the people I love.
Fkrt b 3gli w 3gli ygooly " 3mair , move on. Its a crush not even close to love."
I sat for a few minutes thinking about going up or not
But then I guess I have to.
I walked inside , upstairs , to dana's room to see shamma.
But then her *5awla* laugh made me take a step back.
Am I ready for this? To see her again after what happened?
------
someone knocked on the door, we thought it was mary or 5daamat 3afoor
But its him.
3mair; shamma?
Shamma; t3al 7beebi ana hni
-------
Yadoo; moza 5li wldch b3eed 3n 5awla! Ma shfti kaif y6al3ah elyoum! Tra walla shu bygoolon elnass ! 3aib !
Moza; mdri shu aswi feeh ! Mayet 3laiaha walla y'6arbni 3shanha!
Yadoo; m7d galch t56benla youm t3rfen galbh wya 5awla.
Moza; bs ana maba 5awla !
Yadoo; 5awla a7sn 3n kl el7reem , jamal, a5la8 , tbryh , jsm , w 7taaa sha6ra mashalla 3laiha w mb '3reeba!
Moza; ana a7b shamma w umha tmoon 3lai !
Yadoo; kaifch ... 3yal 5li wldch yt7km fe mshaa3rh w mayswi shay nndm 3laih klna.
I've always been the girl that's being laughed at or the girl that's getting bullied at school.
At the end of the day, I would go to that place behind his house and he'd meet me there. We'd talk about my problems and he'd find a way to make me smile.
That place still exists but the problem is that were no longer the same people. We've changed and that place has been left behind with memories and only memories.
I try to stop the tears , I try to remain strong , but trying is not good enough right now.
I have to BITCH up and be that "IT GIRL"
I can't be innocent 5awla anymore, innocent 5awla is all about heart break and tears. I'm done with that!
I looked at myself and I don't like the way my eyes are puffed and the way my nose is all red.
-----
She left me and walked away, what I heard from her was a bit heart breaking.
I'm happy she's happy but am I really THAT happy?
I don't want her to smile when I'm not around! I don't want her to glow when I'm missing!
I can be selfish bs that's just me. She knows I'm Mr.Selfish but I can't change it.
Her loves makes me selfish.
M7md appeared and sat next to me
M7md; and how did that go
3mair; idk 7mood , she seems okay.
M7md; ya , and how are u feeling?
3mair; you're not gonna like the answer to that question
M7md; bring it! I can handle it
He laughed and I sighed
3mair; I miss her 7mood, I want to take her into my arms and smile mn kl galby
M7md; enzeen yal 3ashg , goom 7rmtk ttryak da5l
3mair; 7rmtk?
M7md; bs abak t7s how serious and real shamma is.
3mair; well you don't need to remind me
I placed my hands on my heart
3mair; she's gone and I'm ready for anything now, I need to flip that page 5ala9
M7md; just be careful 3mair , a3rfk w ely yals ydoor fe mu5k 3ks ely yals tgoolh tmaman. Ana m5aweek w a3rfk 3dl.
I gave him a slap on his shoulders and smiled.
-----
Dana; NOO WAYY SHAMMA! I've been wanting these heels since forever!
Shamma; haha 7beebti walla lw tboonhm , hach!
She passed the heels to dana with a smile
Dana; are u serious!
Dana started jumping with joy!
She hugged shamma and started doing her own little victory dance
Dana; ure the best! How lucky 3mair is 3afoor? Just tell me?
3afra laughed
Shamma; 7beebti walla danoo ur so cute! We can share our heels ;;)
Dana; OMG! Ure amazing!
3afra; hey shammo w ana -.-?
Shamma; ure all like my sisters now ! We can share everything
Shamma gave 3afra a hug and 3afra smiled.
I guess they're starting to like her , after all, she seems nice "NOT!"
I kept looking at my blackberry hoping that a red light would just appear!
But because of my GREAT luck , my bbm friends decided to be lazy and boring on the day that I need them most!
W b3dain y3ne , I'm used to my luck.
Shamma; agool girls
Dana and 3afra looked at her , including me...
Shamma; I want to know more about your cousin.
Dana; who?
3afra; 3mair?
Shamma; yaa -.- he seems so mysterious like I don't know how to bring these words out of his mouth. He's so queit and u know our marriage is arranged but I have strong feelings for him!
Dana smiled
Shamma; like he's tall and hot. He's so caring , he got the right body and smile. He's tanned , he's everything I dreamed of !
3afra; I'm just waiting for you to drool now -.-
Shamma blushed and threw a pillow at 3afra.
I feel hurt , she was just talking about my love , she seems into him.
I tried not to cry, I tried holding the tears back but I couldn't.
Tears started falling and I can see dana whispering to 3afra about hom emotional I'm getting!
Whenever I tell myself to stop and gain strength , I get back to the same start point where I keep falling down.
Shamma; omg why is she crying :s!
Ahhh 5ala9 I can't!
5awla; the she ure talking about has a name!
I said that with anger and left the frickin room.
I started running downstairs but then I bumped into m7md!
I collapsed into his arms and I cried.
I cried all the tears that I've been holding on for a year!
M7md; bs 5awool
5awla; its hard walla 7mood! Its hard listening to her talk about him and say nothing. Its hard sitting there like a stupid dumbass who gave up on her only love.
M7md; u didn't give up , it doesn't work that's all
5awla; but we couldve tried , we couldve aah I don't know :(
M7md; t3ali n6l3 br3
He held my arms and took me outside where I see him AGAIN but what?
I see him smoking!
He doesn't smoke :s he stopped years ago!
It was a bad habbit but he stopped!
Why is he doing it again :s
M7md was holding my hand but I pushed him and ran to him!
5awla; WHAT is this :s!
3mair; get back inside.
5awla; no ! Give me that 3mair!
He pushed me away and gave me a glare!
5awla; FUCK YOU! Stop it ! Its not good for you!
3mair; why should I care huh? Why 5awla! Give me one good reason!
5awla; because u have a WIFE to take care of! You have people who care about inside that house, you have cousins who die just to see you smile. You have aunts who look up at you for being the man you are today!
He started laughing
5awla; and why is that funny!
3mair; ITS BULLSHIT 5AWOOL! I don't give a fuck about anything anymore, now go away and give me your back again , like always just walk away!
He's frustrating! He's making me go angry!
I came close to him , looked into his eyes.
5awla; then if you love me stop
I grabbed his hand and placed It on my heart
5awla; if you care about It stop, you're hurting it a lot! You know I hate smoking.
He throws the cigarrate and he looks at me
3mair; I miss you
He whispered
I looked at him and I held his face , he looked so adorable.
5awla; you smell bad.
He laughed and I smiled.
5awla; don't ever do that again.
3mair; and why?
5awla; because
3mair; yes?
5awla; your wife loves you.
I shed a tear and he moves away.
3mair; will you stop talking about her?
5awla; everything revolves around her 3mair, she's a fact now, she's reality, face it!
3mair; then why did you come out here, why did you make me touch your heart and feel the love again.
5awla; because! I need you to stop! I need you to gain strength and be 3mair that I used to know and respect.
3mair; 5awool
5awla; no just listen! You'll learn to love her.
3mair; how can you say that:s?
5awla; I need to say that?
He came close to me, pushed me to the wall and whispered
3mair; say what your heart wants
5awla; I can't.
He punched the wall and that freaked me out.
I started shivering and he yelled at me
3mair; disappear NOW!
I couldn't move.
3mair; shu ttryain? Agoolch rw7i! Wla bnfjr 3laich
I started running and I met m7md again inside.
5awla; can you please go out there! He's going crazy!
I sat down on the couch with my head between my legs
What did you do 5awla?
May59ch feeh! Lw ynt7r b3d may59ch!!!!! Just stay away!
A felt someone touching me so rf3t rasi w I see 3afra
She came and sat next to me.
3afra; go apologize.
5awla; I seriously need less drama in my life.
3afra; what you said was mean. She's shocked. she didn't do anything 5awla!
5awla; but she took him away!
3afra; fate took him away!
5awla: oh no! You can't blame It on fate! It has nothing to do with fate.
3afra; just go and say sorry.
5awla; come with me?
3afra; sure!
While waking to shamma again , I told 3afra what happened outside.
3afra; 5awool promise me ull stay away!
5awla; I promised myslef. I need to be away a9ln
3afra; good girl. Just accept it ok?
5awla; ill learn how to? W b3dain I know ill always be a part of his heart.
3afra: no no , don't think about him! Stop!
I laughed and she kicked my ass and pushed me in.
Shamma looked up and had a disappointed smile
Shamma; I'm sorry , ma 89dt az3lch
5awla; no don't worry about It I'm sorry!
Shamma; so were ok?
5awla; ya sure!
Dana; come on girls! Nl3b uno? I love that game, let's be childish shwei!
3afra; I'm in!
Shamme; I'm in tooo!!!
Dana; 5awool?!!!!
5awool; why not?:)
--------
M7md; shu balak enth? 5wft elbnt w you're acting like an idiot!
3mair; shu tboon mni a7eenh haa?! Swaitu ely tboonh! Frgtoona! Shu tboon akthr?!
M7md; esm3ni 3mair! Mlait wna agolks bs ! 5ala9 wdr elsalfh ! Move on ya5i! U have a soon to be wife upstairs and ure doing this! Crying over stupid childish love!
3mair; so you think my love to her Is stupid and childish?
M7md; eskt w goom fooog , seer salem 3laiha gbl la trw7
M7md; ma b3eed kalami 3mair, btryak fl syarah!
3mair; just go away!
I kept thinking to myself, why am I doing this?
Why am I putting myself in this bad position and putting her in it too?
We don't deserve this! I don't! She doesn't!
I've been thinking about myself lately and abandoning all the people I love.
Fkrt b 3gli w 3gli ygooly " 3mair , move on. Its a crush not even close to love."
I sat for a few minutes thinking about going up or not
But then I guess I have to.
I walked inside , upstairs , to dana's room to see shamma.
But then her *5awla* laugh made me take a step back.
Am I ready for this? To see her again after what happened?
------
someone knocked on the door, we thought it was mary or 5daamat 3afoor
But its him.
3mair; shamma?
Shamma; t3al 7beebi ana hni
-------
Yadoo; moza 5li wldch b3eed 3n 5awla! Ma shfti kaif y6al3ah elyoum! Tra walla shu bygoolon elnass ! 3aib !
Moza; mdri shu aswi feeh ! Mayet 3laiaha walla y'6arbni 3shanha!
Yadoo; m7d galch t56benla youm t3rfen galbh wya 5awla.
Moza; bs ana maba 5awla !
Yadoo; 5awla a7sn 3n kl el7reem , jamal, a5la8 , tbryh , jsm , w 7taaa sha6ra mashalla 3laiha w mb '3reeba!
Moza; ana a7b shamma w umha tmoon 3lai !
Yadoo; kaifch ... 3yal 5li wldch yt7km fe mshaa3rh w mayswi shay nndm 3laih klna.
31 March 2012
O&K 11
I started distracting myself by talking with danoo about random things but she didn't get me.
Dana; 5awool shut up w goomi 5lna nslm
My heart was beating so fast
I heard his voice
The same exact voice I longed to her 1 year ago
Goose bumps were all over my body
Dana stood up
Dana; halla 3mair , twlhna 3laik
3afra stood up
3afra; el7mdllah 3l salama brooo!
And then it was me
Rf3t rasi and he was standing jdami
I looked at him with grief and sadness
My eyes got filled with tears
3mair; sh7alch 5awla
I didn't stand up , I didn't shake hands
Its was just a simple answer
5awla; b5air
He went and sat next to yadoo
He placed his arms around her and talked to her with a big smile
I don't how can he be so happy and selfish
I just hate him!
Shamma moved her place and sat next to 3mair
She placed her hands on his legs and looked at him
Bdat she whispers ashya2 fe ethnh and a kiss on the neck
I was doomed , I kept shaking , magdr :s , I can't do this!
Its hard
Seeing him become this HOT
Ensan jameel ya nass
He's not just hot
hoo jameel mashallah
Feeh jamal mb 6bee3i
Dana held my hands and looked at me
She felt that I was really sick of watching kl ha
I gave her a weak smile and assured her that I'm strong enough to look at them.
Shamma; t9dgoon banaat ! Hatha ur cousin wayd 3need -_- may3ybh shaaay walla!
Yadoo; hatha 3mair mn 9'3rh che
Who's she to be talking about him jdami :)!
Even though I was angry , I managed to smile to myself
Yes, 3mair is so stubborn
I looked down at my hands and a smile just appeared when they were talking about how he wants everything his way.
After a few seocnds , I raised my head again and he was STARING at me
But youm shfth 9ad el9oob elthani
Really 3mair?
Moza/3mair's mom; 5awla w 3afra w danoo mmkn tsa3dooni shwei
Dana: shu 5aloo
Moza; la bs aba help fl m6b5 shwei
We stood up and followed her
I felt such a relief that I left that room :)
-----
When she left , I couldn't even focus.
I need to keep looking at her
I miss her face and most importantly her smile.
She looks so innocent , I just want to hug her.
Shamma; 3mair ?
3mair: hmmm
Shamma; 5lna n6l3 br3 shwei nrms
3mair; enzen yalla
I just agreed so I can take a glimpse of her on the way outside
I opened the door and made shamma take the first step outside.
Followed her and we went to the big garden filled with beautiful flowers which we couldn't see because it was too dark.
My eyes were searching for her but they didn't find her
Shamma; 7bebi elyoum bnswi sleepover wya ur cousins
3mair; zain che tt3rfain 3laihm akthr
Shamma; bs hay 5wla a7sha mat7bni 3mair :(
Her name made my heart beat so fast
I looked at shamma not knowing what to say next
3mair; give her time
Shamma; I'm so excited , they seem nice w mashallah a7lahm dana
3mair; u think so?
Shamma; ya 5wla mb wayd 7lwa a9ln w 3afra y3ne jameela b3d
Wow, nobody dared to talk about "K" jdami ! And now she comes and says that my "K" is not even gorgeous !
3mair; bs 3ad shamma , shu tbain feehm a7eenh
I said that with a mad tone
She came close and grabbed my neck
I wouldve just pushed her but I don't want to hurt her
She's too nice wyay that I feel so mean
She looked into my eyes
Shamma; t3rf lain al7en we didn't have our first kiss
I was shocked. Usually us guyz would do that step but with me and shamma its different.
I have no feelings , I can't kiss her.
But she did! She did because she knew she had to do it , she did because she knew the me , 3mair , would never do it.
I know that shamma t7s enh our relationship is not that much loveeeeyyy but I try to make her feel secured about it.
I kissed her back.
-----
3afra; I hate her -,- 8hrttniiiiiiiiiiii b'3aait a9mha kaff -_-
Dana; 9aa7b shftu youm basth w mdri kaif , 9dg ma tst7i , enzeen mb jdaamna 3ad w jdam yadoo aham shay
3afra; t3rfeen daanoo , elyoum bnl3wzhaaa -.-
5awla; ayyh 3afoor :@ 7raam enzeen , 3shan 3mair bs nt7mlha
3afra; seeri zgii 5awool , ure supposed to be the first one to go " YES! 3afoor U GO GIRL! "
I laughed with dana :p
This girls is just too funnyy!
I kicked her ass
5awla; 5aaibh mb ass , ryooli 3wrtni
Dana; aham shay bl jlaabyh b3d 5awool tshotenha
She shaked her ass and got out of the kitchen , keeping me and danoo die out of laughter!
Dana; enty bs goolely habla wla habla hal ensanah
5awla; hahahahah
Dana; 5awool
5awla; shuu
She talked to me while preparing the wara8 3enab
Dana; how are u now? Is everything ok?
5awla; I feel ok but my heart hurts u know? he seems happy so I won't bother him
Dana; no he doesn't seem happy -_- kl shwei y6al3ch
I blushed and looked at her
5awla; walla?
Dana; yes 7beebti , he still wants you but he's stuck with her
5awla; ok? So I can't do anything , I can't hope for him to come back , I can't keep loving him knowing that he's with someone now and its official danoo
Dana; just keep in mind that he loved u no matter what!
5awla; all I need to know that I love him and I will keep loving him
3mair; loving who?
He entered with shamma holding his hands
W ana mn el9dmh g9aait eydy bl knifee
And let me tell u? I HATE BLOOD!
I started shaking and panicking!
Danoo; omg 5awool! Shu swaitii! Bseer byeblch hal dwa mal yadoo
He came so close that I could recognize it from his smell
3mair: matshoofen?
His breath all over my neck and shoulders
I was about to slap him , shu 8a9dh matshoofeen?! Why does he care a9ln!
5alwa; go away
He laughed and that made me more nervous!
5awla; ufffffff wainha dana!
3mair; enzen 5leeni ashoof?
5awla; 3maair GOOOM b3eed :( uffff
3mair; RAWEENI!
I gave him my hand and he started laughing again
I was about to take my hand away
3mair; sorry sorry
Shamma; its just a small cut 5awla!
3mair; traha daloo3a
Why is he doing this! Seriously! Yf'67ni jdamhaa
But when he touched my hand , the mad 5awla turned to the calm 5awla.
I looked at him and he looked back at me with a smile
I can't do this , w shamma jdami?
I can't have feelings for him , even though I hate that shamma creature , I have respect for myself!
I can't
I took my hands away and went to dana
5alwa; SNTAIN?
Dana; that was so cute da5l:(! '3abya u went away!
5awla; omg danoo mn el9b7 t6al3ain w madsheen u save me?
Dana; I couldn't
5awla; I almost died yal habla ! I hate u w b3daain 3aib enzeen w 7raam 7g shamma
Dana; shamma w shamma UFFF
5awla; give me that !
I took eldwa w rw7t
---
I followed her outside
She was walking so fast that I couldn't catch up
3maair; 5a woo l
She turned around
3mair; wait shwei
I ran to her and I grabbed her hand
3mair; sorry mb 8a9di a'67k 3laich bs u know its funny -,-"
5awla; no its not enzen w give me eydyy -,-"
3mair; why don't u take away ur hand
5awla; cuz ull shout and go like this " RAWEENI " it scares me
He smiled and I smiled too.
3mair: sm3t btswoon sleep-over
5awla; yaa .. With ur wife
It really hurts listening to her saying " ur wife "
3mair; yes my wife .....
She was silent for about 2 minutes
3mair; how are u
5awla; I was fine before u decided to show up
3mair; ouch?
5awla; seriously why do u have to come back! Why 3mair why
3mair; shu hal s2al 5awool , this is where I belong
5awla; I just.... like ..... I don't know !
3mair; well u seem ok
5awla; I seem ok? Are u fucking serious! I cried for months , I abandoned my family and myself, food and water didn't enter my system for weeks! What are u talking about 3mair? Enth ely u seem all happy
3mair; well I am happy
5awla; GOOD
3mair; I'm happy that I'm back.
she looked at me with confused eyes
3mair; I'm happy that ure here now.
5awla; well guess what , I seriously did moved on. I'm actually glad that shamma appeared!
She smiled and kept me speechless.
3mair; good then that's great.
5awla; yaa life is amazing!
3mair; it really is
I faked a smile
----
I lied and lied and lied.
5awla; well guess what , I seriously did moved on. I'm actually glad that shamma appeared!
I faked a BIG smile which I'm really good at!
He didn't say anything
Just silence!
3mair; good then that's great.
5awla; yaa life is amazing!
Goo 5awool! Perfect at lying !
3mair; it really is
I faked a smile AGAIN
Dana; 5awool shut up w goomi 5lna nslm
My heart was beating so fast
I heard his voice
The same exact voice I longed to her 1 year ago
Goose bumps were all over my body
Dana stood up
Dana; halla 3mair , twlhna 3laik
3afra stood up
3afra; el7mdllah 3l salama brooo!
And then it was me
Rf3t rasi and he was standing jdami
I looked at him with grief and sadness
My eyes got filled with tears
3mair; sh7alch 5awla
I didn't stand up , I didn't shake hands
Its was just a simple answer
5awla; b5air
He went and sat next to yadoo
He placed his arms around her and talked to her with a big smile
I don't how can he be so happy and selfish
I just hate him!
Shamma moved her place and sat next to 3mair
She placed her hands on his legs and looked at him
Bdat she whispers ashya2 fe ethnh and a kiss on the neck
I was doomed , I kept shaking , magdr :s , I can't do this!
Its hard
Seeing him become this HOT
Ensan jameel ya nass
He's not just hot
hoo jameel mashallah
Feeh jamal mb 6bee3i
Dana held my hands and looked at me
She felt that I was really sick of watching kl ha
I gave her a weak smile and assured her that I'm strong enough to look at them.
Shamma; t9dgoon banaat ! Hatha ur cousin wayd 3need -_- may3ybh shaaay walla!
Yadoo; hatha 3mair mn 9'3rh che
Who's she to be talking about him jdami :)!
Even though I was angry , I managed to smile to myself
Yes, 3mair is so stubborn
I looked down at my hands and a smile just appeared when they were talking about how he wants everything his way.
After a few seocnds , I raised my head again and he was STARING at me
But youm shfth 9ad el9oob elthani
Really 3mair?
Moza/3mair's mom; 5awla w 3afra w danoo mmkn tsa3dooni shwei
Dana: shu 5aloo
Moza; la bs aba help fl m6b5 shwei
We stood up and followed her
I felt such a relief that I left that room :)
-----
When she left , I couldn't even focus.
I need to keep looking at her
I miss her face and most importantly her smile.
She looks so innocent , I just want to hug her.
Shamma; 3mair ?
3mair: hmmm
Shamma; 5lna n6l3 br3 shwei nrms
3mair; enzen yalla
I just agreed so I can take a glimpse of her on the way outside
I opened the door and made shamma take the first step outside.
Followed her and we went to the big garden filled with beautiful flowers which we couldn't see because it was too dark.
My eyes were searching for her but they didn't find her
Shamma; 7bebi elyoum bnswi sleepover wya ur cousins
3mair; zain che tt3rfain 3laihm akthr
Shamma; bs hay 5wla a7sha mat7bni 3mair :(
Her name made my heart beat so fast
I looked at shamma not knowing what to say next
3mair; give her time
Shamma; I'm so excited , they seem nice w mashallah a7lahm dana
3mair; u think so?
Shamma; ya 5wla mb wayd 7lwa a9ln w 3afra y3ne jameela b3d
Wow, nobody dared to talk about "K" jdami ! And now she comes and says that my "K" is not even gorgeous !
3mair; bs 3ad shamma , shu tbain feehm a7eenh
I said that with a mad tone
She came close and grabbed my neck
I wouldve just pushed her but I don't want to hurt her
She's too nice wyay that I feel so mean
She looked into my eyes
Shamma; t3rf lain al7en we didn't have our first kiss
I was shocked. Usually us guyz would do that step but with me and shamma its different.
I have no feelings , I can't kiss her.
But she did! She did because she knew she had to do it , she did because she knew the me , 3mair , would never do it.
I know that shamma t7s enh our relationship is not that much loveeeeyyy but I try to make her feel secured about it.
I kissed her back.
-----
3afra; I hate her -,- 8hrttniiiiiiiiiiii b'3aait a9mha kaff -_-
Dana; 9aa7b shftu youm basth w mdri kaif , 9dg ma tst7i , enzeen mb jdaamna 3ad w jdam yadoo aham shay
3afra; t3rfeen daanoo , elyoum bnl3wzhaaa -.-
5awla; ayyh 3afoor :@ 7raam enzeen , 3shan 3mair bs nt7mlha
3afra; seeri zgii 5awool , ure supposed to be the first one to go " YES! 3afoor U GO GIRL! "
I laughed with dana :p
This girls is just too funnyy!
I kicked her ass
5awla; 5aaibh mb ass , ryooli 3wrtni
Dana; aham shay bl jlaabyh b3d 5awool tshotenha
She shaked her ass and got out of the kitchen , keeping me and danoo die out of laughter!
Dana; enty bs goolely habla wla habla hal ensanah
5awla; hahahahah
Dana; 5awool
5awla; shuu
She talked to me while preparing the wara8 3enab
Dana; how are u now? Is everything ok?
5awla; I feel ok but my heart hurts u know? he seems happy so I won't bother him
Dana; no he doesn't seem happy -_- kl shwei y6al3ch
I blushed and looked at her
5awla; walla?
Dana; yes 7beebti , he still wants you but he's stuck with her
5awla; ok? So I can't do anything , I can't hope for him to come back , I can't keep loving him knowing that he's with someone now and its official danoo
Dana; just keep in mind that he loved u no matter what!
5awla; all I need to know that I love him and I will keep loving him
3mair; loving who?
He entered with shamma holding his hands
W ana mn el9dmh g9aait eydy bl knifee
And let me tell u? I HATE BLOOD!
I started shaking and panicking!
Danoo; omg 5awool! Shu swaitii! Bseer byeblch hal dwa mal yadoo
He came so close that I could recognize it from his smell
3mair: matshoofen?
His breath all over my neck and shoulders
I was about to slap him , shu 8a9dh matshoofeen?! Why does he care a9ln!
5alwa; go away
He laughed and that made me more nervous!
5awla; ufffffff wainha dana!
3mair; enzen 5leeni ashoof?
5awla; 3maair GOOOM b3eed :( uffff
3mair; RAWEENI!
I gave him my hand and he started laughing again
I was about to take my hand away
3mair; sorry sorry
Shamma; its just a small cut 5awla!
3mair; traha daloo3a
Why is he doing this! Seriously! Yf'67ni jdamhaa
But when he touched my hand , the mad 5awla turned to the calm 5awla.
I looked at him and he looked back at me with a smile
I can't do this , w shamma jdami?
I can't have feelings for him , even though I hate that shamma creature , I have respect for myself!
I can't
I took my hands away and went to dana
5alwa; SNTAIN?
Dana; that was so cute da5l:(! '3abya u went away!
5awla; omg danoo mn el9b7 t6al3ain w madsheen u save me?
Dana; I couldn't
5awla; I almost died yal habla ! I hate u w b3daain 3aib enzeen w 7raam 7g shamma
Dana; shamma w shamma UFFF
5awla; give me that !
I took eldwa w rw7t
---
I followed her outside
She was walking so fast that I couldn't catch up
3maair; 5a woo l
She turned around
3mair; wait shwei
I ran to her and I grabbed her hand
3mair; sorry mb 8a9di a'67k 3laich bs u know its funny -,-"
5awla; no its not enzen w give me eydyy -,-"
3mair; why don't u take away ur hand
5awla; cuz ull shout and go like this " RAWEENI " it scares me
He smiled and I smiled too.
3mair: sm3t btswoon sleep-over
5awla; yaa .. With ur wife
It really hurts listening to her saying " ur wife "
3mair; yes my wife .....
She was silent for about 2 minutes
3mair; how are u
5awla; I was fine before u decided to show up
3mair; ouch?
5awla; seriously why do u have to come back! Why 3mair why
3mair; shu hal s2al 5awool , this is where I belong
5awla; I just.... like ..... I don't know !
3mair; well u seem ok
5awla; I seem ok? Are u fucking serious! I cried for months , I abandoned my family and myself, food and water didn't enter my system for weeks! What are u talking about 3mair? Enth ely u seem all happy
3mair; well I am happy
5awla; GOOD
3mair; I'm happy that I'm back.
she looked at me with confused eyes
3mair; I'm happy that ure here now.
5awla; well guess what , I seriously did moved on. I'm actually glad that shamma appeared!
She smiled and kept me speechless.
3mair; good then that's great.
5awla; yaa life is amazing!
3mair; it really is
I faked a smile
----
I lied and lied and lied.
5awla; well guess what , I seriously did moved on. I'm actually glad that shamma appeared!
I faked a BIG smile which I'm really good at!
He didn't say anything
Just silence!
3mair; good then that's great.
5awla; yaa life is amazing!
Goo 5awool! Perfect at lying !
3mair; it really is
I faked a smile AGAIN
25 March 2012
O&K 10
Sorry for being always late , my spring break mb now :(
Enjoy my lovely readers:*
------
When I came back , everything was so true.
Like back then in USA , I was confident that I'm moving on but when I'm back here , it seems different.
It seems scary and nerve wrecking.
Mama was crying , 7mood kept talking about how much fun we'll have cuz I'm finally back.
They talked and talked
But I didn't listen , I had two phones.
One that I didn't dare to open
All our msgs are in that phone
Her pictures
Our fights
Our make ups
Mostly everything
The phone that I had with me in London had nothing to do with 5awla.
Just saying her name makes me feel bad.
She's my cousin , ill get to see her every now and then so I have to be ready for it.
M7md; yado will be thrilled!
Moza; hayh walllah , 7lailha she misses u A LOT !
3mair; I miss her too!
I smiled and they both smiled back.
I looked at the window next to me
My heart started beating so fast
I placed my hands on my heart
It was eager to be close to hers.
----
I was sitting with 3afoor and danoo
We became friends again -.- as usual
We fight and we get back to being ok
That's us (a)
Even though I was nervous and scared, I was excited too
I just miss his face and his laugh
His innocent smile
His flirty smirks
His eyes
His smell
Just everything
But who am I kidding? he doesn't want to see me
He wants to see her.
I feel broken and mad because he forgot about me in seconds.
When he told me he loved me ! What was it , a joke?
Was he lying just to make me feel good and have an excuse?
I don't know , I really don't.
I need to talk to him to understand but absolutely not
Our talks would be cousinly ONLY!
I worked so hard on myself , to get out of my comfort zone and I'm not giving it all up for a guy that is so full of himself and selfish.
For a guy that gave up on me so fast
I don't care if his mom said so
Or my dad said so
He needs to do something if he was all over me as he said he was.
AAAHH 5awool just stop thinking about it! Stop stop stop stop stop
Yup stop!
Yadoo came in and she smiled to all of us
wgfna w srnalha 3shan enslm 3laiha w nboos rasha
Yadoo; sh7alch 3afra
3afra; b5air yadoo
Yadoo; w danoo!
Dana; I'm great (a)
But when she turned to look at me , che she got mad fj2a
Yadoo; shu labsa 5awla:s
5awla; shu:s bn6loon w 8amee9!
Yadoo; goomi goomi bdli 3n eyech kaff a7eenh
I got so scared , its the first time she talks to me che!
I was literally shaking
I see her mad at others but never at me
Never at her only 5awool
5awla; shu yado ! Mn wain ayebli thyab enshallah w b3dain yadoo balach, mb awal mrh etshoofeni che
Yadoo; bs elyoum '3air , elyoum bayoon e5wan shamma 56eebt 3mair w wayd nas so go get change
5awla; aaah -.- a'3yr 3shanha y3ne w mno gal b6l3lhm
Yadoo; incase seeri '3yri! Shoofi 3afoor w dano labseen jlaleeb
5awla; wna wain a6l3li jlaabyh
Yadoo; seeri 3ndi wayd foog
I got really mad! Like super super mad
I left the room and got upstairs to get a fucking jlabyh just to make miss shamma and her brothers happy?
I grabbed a pink jalabiya that suited my heels
I looked at my reflection in the mirror
I have to admit , I look healthy compared to what I've been through
I look pretty (a) MASHALLAH! :p
Before leaving , I sat on the bed and checked my fone.
There were many msgs and bbm's that I didn't bother opening! I was secluded from the outside world for a long time and now its the moment to get back.
I updated my DP and wrote " 5awla AlX "
Smiled to the screen and slowly got downstairs.
----
3afra; guess what yado came up with
5awla; wtf is wrong with her today?
Dana; I knw-.-"! She's so mad
5awla; enzen w b3dain! Shu tbana nswi! Ntn8b?
3afra; no no something even worse :)
5awla; omg what can be worse?
Dana; a sleepover with shamma:)
5awla; NO WAY SHUT UP!
3afra; walla she came and told us youm rw7ti t'3yreen
5awla; well I'm not staying
Dana: u have to!
5awla; I don't want to
3afra; she's forcing us 5awool! W b3dain 7ram 3aib
5awla; what do u mean 7ram 3aib? Seriously 3afoor u know how I feel about this
3afra; 7ayati 5awool walla adri bs let's do it for yadoo! She will be so mad if we go against her will
5awla; please god save me ! Can this day get any better :D?!!!!
3afra; this little shamma! I wanna squeeze her
Dana; 7raam! Maybe she's nice! Ygoolon wayd 7lwa
I sat there listening and not joining that lame convo.
They were talking about shamma and 3mair as a couple and I don't mind. I know it hurts but I'm going to here their name a lot today so I have to suck it up!
I'm so confident about myself , I know I'm better and I can find a better person. I'm not ready for realtionships after all or am I?
With all of these thoughts , a group of women came in with yadoo.
We stood up and smiled
I faked faked faked a fucking smile
They were all like so happy and super excited
I wanted to pucnh them and kick their asses!
There was this thing ! Like a tiny creature that was shining! Seriously she was shining , feeling happy more than the others.
Maybe it was her , maybe it was that shamma.
w7dh; sh5barch
w7dh; sh7alch
w7dh; elsalam 3laikm
I just nodded and smiled.
I was eager to know which one was that Beeeyatch.
There was a small group of young ladies so it was hard to know which one is S.
Yadoo; hay amnaa um shamma , hay el7lwa shammoo! Hay rbee3tha salama , w hay ro'6a bnt 3amtha :)
Ro'6a; sh7aalkm banat
Dana; el7mdllah b5aair , nwrtu
Amna; elnoor noorkm wallah
Yadoo; this is 5awla , 3afra , and dana ! My young ladies
3afra; halla :D
Shamma; ahlain :D
Her voice was just too annoying! I wanted to strangle her.
I looked at her with disgust and hatred.
I almost cried walla but I reminded myself that no one can make me feel this way anymore.
Shamma; sh7alch 5awla
Guess she felt my weird stares
5awla; zaina
I stood up and headed to grab some tissue from the table
I sat down near the telvision and ignored them. Maba any kind of conversation wyahm
I wonder where mama and 5alo moza
Yadoo; 5awla t3ali
She gave me a death stare so I had to get up and head back there
Aaah yadddo :@ ure becoming annoying and mean and selfish and and and :@ AAH!
3afra; habla?
She whispered
5awla; I hate it here
I whispered
3afra; guess I'm not the only one , look at her! She's not even pretty
5awla; talk about being ugly
We laughed and salama stared at us
I went like WHAT! But it was weird.
3afra; '3abya tf'67een
5awla; a7bch :$
She smiled and I did too.
---
Everybody was so nice and welcoming.
E5wan shamma are so respectul mashalla.
But my mind and my heart wasn't with them at all
It was worried about what was happening out there
Did shamma meet 5awla?
How does 5awla feel?
Moza; mama 3mair , yalla enroo7 3nd shamma shwei enslm 3laiha.
I nodded and smiled
Got up and headed to the door with my mom
Um 5awool followed us
It felt creepy and weird
I don't want to get in there
I don't want to see my K after what? A year
How would I feel
How would I react
This is really really hard.
Moza: yadoo , 3mair bydsh
She said that before entering.....
----
When I head 5alo moza's voice , I literally started shaking
Ma3rft shu aswi, adsh el7maam wla bs ajablh w I get over it
Walla m3rf kaif at9rf jdamh wla shu agool
Wayd shay 93b w mgdr ashoofh
I just can't , its difficult
Maba a9ee7 , maba adm3 , maba galby y3wrni
Maba a7s eny I'm back to that place.
I know from the moment that his foot will step into this room
My feelings will change
I don't just know , I am a thousand percent sure it will.
That's the effect that 3mair had on khawla.
Poor poor me :)
Everyone started putting on their shailas
I did too, I don't know why , I never do , but this time I did.
Maybe that will make me feel more comfortable around him?
Idk -,- I just did !
Andd after 2 mins , that door got unlocked and he stepped in after his mom.
Enjoy my lovely readers:*
------
When I came back , everything was so true.
Like back then in USA , I was confident that I'm moving on but when I'm back here , it seems different.
It seems scary and nerve wrecking.
Mama was crying , 7mood kept talking about how much fun we'll have cuz I'm finally back.
They talked and talked
But I didn't listen , I had two phones.
One that I didn't dare to open
All our msgs are in that phone
Her pictures
Our fights
Our make ups
Mostly everything
The phone that I had with me in London had nothing to do with 5awla.
Just saying her name makes me feel bad.
She's my cousin , ill get to see her every now and then so I have to be ready for it.
M7md; yado will be thrilled!
Moza; hayh walllah , 7lailha she misses u A LOT !
3mair; I miss her too!
I smiled and they both smiled back.
I looked at the window next to me
My heart started beating so fast
I placed my hands on my heart
It was eager to be close to hers.
----
I was sitting with 3afoor and danoo
We became friends again -.- as usual
We fight and we get back to being ok
That's us (a)
Even though I was nervous and scared, I was excited too
I just miss his face and his laugh
His innocent smile
His flirty smirks
His eyes
His smell
Just everything
But who am I kidding? he doesn't want to see me
He wants to see her.
I feel broken and mad because he forgot about me in seconds.
When he told me he loved me ! What was it , a joke?
Was he lying just to make me feel good and have an excuse?
I don't know , I really don't.
I need to talk to him to understand but absolutely not
Our talks would be cousinly ONLY!
I worked so hard on myself , to get out of my comfort zone and I'm not giving it all up for a guy that is so full of himself and selfish.
For a guy that gave up on me so fast
I don't care if his mom said so
Or my dad said so
He needs to do something if he was all over me as he said he was.
AAAHH 5awool just stop thinking about it! Stop stop stop stop stop
Yup stop!
Yadoo came in and she smiled to all of us
wgfna w srnalha 3shan enslm 3laiha w nboos rasha
Yadoo; sh7alch 3afra
3afra; b5air yadoo
Yadoo; w danoo!
Dana; I'm great (a)
But when she turned to look at me , che she got mad fj2a
Yadoo; shu labsa 5awla:s
5awla; shu:s bn6loon w 8amee9!
Yadoo; goomi goomi bdli 3n eyech kaff a7eenh
I got so scared , its the first time she talks to me che!
I was literally shaking
I see her mad at others but never at me
Never at her only 5awool
5awla; shu yado ! Mn wain ayebli thyab enshallah w b3dain yadoo balach, mb awal mrh etshoofeni che
Yadoo; bs elyoum '3air , elyoum bayoon e5wan shamma 56eebt 3mair w wayd nas so go get change
5awla; aaah -.- a'3yr 3shanha y3ne w mno gal b6l3lhm
Yadoo; incase seeri '3yri! Shoofi 3afoor w dano labseen jlaleeb
5awla; wna wain a6l3li jlaabyh
Yadoo; seeri 3ndi wayd foog
I got really mad! Like super super mad
I left the room and got upstairs to get a fucking jlabyh just to make miss shamma and her brothers happy?
I grabbed a pink jalabiya that suited my heels
I looked at my reflection in the mirror
I have to admit , I look healthy compared to what I've been through
I look pretty (a) MASHALLAH! :p
Before leaving , I sat on the bed and checked my fone.
There were many msgs and bbm's that I didn't bother opening! I was secluded from the outside world for a long time and now its the moment to get back.
I updated my DP and wrote " 5awla AlX "
Smiled to the screen and slowly got downstairs.
----
3afra; guess what yado came up with
5awla; wtf is wrong with her today?
Dana; I knw-.-"! She's so mad
5awla; enzen w b3dain! Shu tbana nswi! Ntn8b?
3afra; no no something even worse :)
5awla; omg what can be worse?
Dana; a sleepover with shamma:)
5awla; NO WAY SHUT UP!
3afra; walla she came and told us youm rw7ti t'3yreen
5awla; well I'm not staying
Dana: u have to!
5awla; I don't want to
3afra; she's forcing us 5awool! W b3dain 7ram 3aib
5awla; what do u mean 7ram 3aib? Seriously 3afoor u know how I feel about this
3afra; 7ayati 5awool walla adri bs let's do it for yadoo! She will be so mad if we go against her will
5awla; please god save me ! Can this day get any better :D?!!!!
3afra; this little shamma! I wanna squeeze her
Dana; 7raam! Maybe she's nice! Ygoolon wayd 7lwa
I sat there listening and not joining that lame convo.
They were talking about shamma and 3mair as a couple and I don't mind. I know it hurts but I'm going to here their name a lot today so I have to suck it up!
I'm so confident about myself , I know I'm better and I can find a better person. I'm not ready for realtionships after all or am I?
With all of these thoughts , a group of women came in with yadoo.
We stood up and smiled
I faked faked faked a fucking smile
They were all like so happy and super excited
I wanted to pucnh them and kick their asses!
There was this thing ! Like a tiny creature that was shining! Seriously she was shining , feeling happy more than the others.
Maybe it was her , maybe it was that shamma.
w7dh; sh5barch
w7dh; sh7alch
w7dh; elsalam 3laikm
I just nodded and smiled.
I was eager to know which one was that Beeeyatch.
There was a small group of young ladies so it was hard to know which one is S.
Yadoo; hay amnaa um shamma , hay el7lwa shammoo! Hay rbee3tha salama , w hay ro'6a bnt 3amtha :)
Ro'6a; sh7aalkm banat
Dana; el7mdllah b5aair , nwrtu
Amna; elnoor noorkm wallah
Yadoo; this is 5awla , 3afra , and dana ! My young ladies
3afra; halla :D
Shamma; ahlain :D
Her voice was just too annoying! I wanted to strangle her.
I looked at her with disgust and hatred.
I almost cried walla but I reminded myself that no one can make me feel this way anymore.
Shamma; sh7alch 5awla
Guess she felt my weird stares
5awla; zaina
I stood up and headed to grab some tissue from the table
I sat down near the telvision and ignored them. Maba any kind of conversation wyahm
I wonder where mama and 5alo moza
Yadoo; 5awla t3ali
She gave me a death stare so I had to get up and head back there
Aaah yadddo :@ ure becoming annoying and mean and selfish and and and :@ AAH!
3afra; habla?
She whispered
5awla; I hate it here
I whispered
3afra; guess I'm not the only one , look at her! She's not even pretty
5awla; talk about being ugly
We laughed and salama stared at us
I went like WHAT! But it was weird.
3afra; '3abya tf'67een
5awla; a7bch :$
She smiled and I did too.
---
Everybody was so nice and welcoming.
E5wan shamma are so respectul mashalla.
But my mind and my heart wasn't with them at all
It was worried about what was happening out there
Did shamma meet 5awla?
How does 5awla feel?
Moza; mama 3mair , yalla enroo7 3nd shamma shwei enslm 3laiha.
I nodded and smiled
Got up and headed to the door with my mom
Um 5awool followed us
It felt creepy and weird
I don't want to get in there
I don't want to see my K after what? A year
How would I feel
How would I react
This is really really hard.
Moza: yadoo , 3mair bydsh
She said that before entering.....
----
When I head 5alo moza's voice , I literally started shaking
Ma3rft shu aswi, adsh el7maam wla bs ajablh w I get over it
Walla m3rf kaif at9rf jdamh wla shu agool
Wayd shay 93b w mgdr ashoofh
I just can't , its difficult
Maba a9ee7 , maba adm3 , maba galby y3wrni
Maba a7s eny I'm back to that place.
I know from the moment that his foot will step into this room
My feelings will change
I don't just know , I am a thousand percent sure it will.
That's the effect that 3mair had on khawla.
Poor poor me :)
Everyone started putting on their shailas
I did too, I don't know why , I never do , but this time I did.
Maybe that will make me feel more comfortable around him?
Idk -,- I just did !
Andd after 2 mins , that door got unlocked and he stepped in after his mom.
19 March 2012
O&K 9
I'm now in a place where I can't stand anyone.
I'm now in a place where I can't understand anything.
I'm now in a place where everything seems useless and retarded.
5awla; I SAID QUIT IT! I don't want to hear anything! Ure dancing like crazy having the time of your lives , clueless about the things that I'm going through.
They both looked at me , scared to move or talk.
I left the room and I spent the next two hours in yadoo's room. It was going to be hard , I know that I'm going to suffer , I know that I'm going to cry and isolate myslef mn el3alm , and I surely know that this pain would take weeks or months to heal.
At the end , I'll be forced to accept the fact that he belongs to another women. I have to move on and carry on being 5awla.
The weak 5awla. The innocent 5awla. The harmless 5awla.
Ill not try to hurt him or even think about taking revenge or RUINING his marriage
That's not 5awla even though I feel like stroking that shamma
I know that I'm not that girl.
I want him to be happy and live his life.
Maybe just maybe there's someone out there who's better for me , who suits me , who would be just perfect , who would make me and my FAMILY happy.
-----
*3mair*
3 weeks in America and let me tell you its been great.
The college is perfect, the people are friendly and social.
Its my place , its where I'm supposed to be.
I talk to m7md every 2 days, he updates me on elfamily w shu msween fe dbai bs he never brings her up so I don't bother asking.
When I came here , everything changed.
My way of thinking changed , like I'm kind of married now. I can't give her hopes and keep bringing her back to a place where she will suffer.
I called shamma and sorted things out.
I have no feelings to her at all but I respect her as a person.
She's funny , she's smart , and she's understanding.
Its not like I can't stand her and I can't live with her.
We can be together in the same house , I imagine us but I never imagine myself being inlove with someone other than 5awla.
5awla is my past , my present , and I hoped that she could be my future.
5awla would always have my heart , she would always be the one to make my heart beats so fast.
My heart belongs with her , I feel so bad that I can't give it to shamma.
I wouldn't dare to , my hearts home is between 5awla's arms.
Even though tfkeeri t'3yr , I'm still having doubts of going back
Will I have the strength to face her?
-----
Its been a year now , everything came back to normal.
My sobs and nonstop cries became tears and only tears.
Not getting enough sleep became a habbit and not because I'm in pain.
I go to uni , I eat , I drink , and I smile :)
A big imrpovement I would say.
3afra is happy , m7md is happy , and my parents are definitely happy.
Talking to guys and socializing is no longer impossible.
I have colleagues and classmates who are men. Respectful men.
'3yab 3mair taught me to be a strong woman.
It taught me that I can find happiness because there are people out there who cares about me and I don't need his love to be 5awla.
He should be coming back any time this week.
I've been practicing and waiting for this moment.
I'm scared that I would collapse and cry , I'm scared that I would get back to that gloomy scary place where nothing seems important.
What should I say, should I hug him? Or should I shake his hand? Or do nothing just say hi.
It would be awkward , it would feel embrassing.
I don't want to have feelings when I see him
I don't want to feel crushed again , I need to be normal.
Akeed he got over with it , he has a rebound I don't.
He has a women who he has to take care of but no one needs to take care of me.
Its my big loss here not his.
He never said good-bye before leaving
No text no calls not even a small thing with m7md nothing.
That broke my heart but he's moving on so why should I be stuck in this misery?!
------
* Moza is 3mair's mom, I think I mentioned it bs maybe nsaitu:p *
M7md; 5aloo bteen wla shu? Tra mt25reen 3la elrayal n7n!
Moza; walla 7mood ana mtbhdla! Its too much work! The dinner that's gonna happen after his return and somebody has to grab shamma to meet yadoo and the family!
M7md; enzeen yadoo t3rf shu tswi ! Don't worry just come downstairs and let's go to the airport.
Moza; maryyy! Don't forget to give the driver the food and other things I told u to take to yadoo's
For the millionth time , 5alo moza repeated that to her maid.
I don't know why she's worrying that much! I know she miss 3mair but she doesn't have to freak out.
Shamma will be there
Yadoo knows the plan
I guess everything will go with the flow.
I turned on the engine and she came in.
Moza; walla sam7ni 7mood , mno 3ndi '3airk!
M7md; la 3adii 5aloo 7beebti bs t25rna 3la 3mair wayd w t3rfen wldch may7b ytrya!
Moza; walla twlht 3la wldi
She smiled and I smiled back.
----
(Back at 5awlas house)
I was watching a series on TV , which I enjoyed a lot.
It was my first time and I didn't even know what's it about but I enjoyed it :)
Suddenly , u hear my mom screaming like crazy!
She nearly made my heart stop beating!
Ngzt mn mkani w I looked at her surprised
5awla; WHAT!
Mama; goomi goomi mt25reeen
She was walking by me , closing the tv
Mama; skri haa ! GOOMI 5awoool matsm3een
5awla; wain agoom mama:s shu feech
Mama; we need to go yalla !
5awla; what do u mean we need to go:s
Mama; bait yadoo yalla 5awla walla bythb7ooni
5awla; what:s I'm not going !
Mama; laish 3la kaifch!
5awla; mn mta t'39beni aseer 3nd yadoo mama! Ams kna 3ndhm! W mt'6arba wya 3afra so maba :)
Mama; seerri lbsi 5awla a7snlch! 3shan 5a6r 3mair enzen
And when I heard his name , everything seemed blurry and confusing!
Mama; byrd elyoum shu feech! Ma tbain tt3rfain 3la 56eebth 5awool! Yalla mama 3shani tra 7ram 5alo moza ! Wa3deenha n7n !
5awla; mama plz I don't want to go
Mama; 5awla shu feech! Mn mta che 3need
I stood up , threw the pillow and ran to my room
What she expects me to go and meet his fiance like nothing is wrong!
I don't want to see him! Why does he have to come back and ruin everything just why?!
I cried for the first time in what 8 months?
I cursed him and his bitch
I cursed and cursed and cursed!
But I'm done
I'm done crying
I'm done cursing
I'm done feeling bad
I'm done ignoring him
I'm done feeling SHITTY
I opened my closet
Grabbed anything amazing and got dressed
Put on make up
blow dried hair
DONE!
I'm doing this for me
You're doing this for you 5awla
You're gonna smile
Be happy
Get to know his fiance
And enjoy :)
I havt to just try my best to keep my heart at home and go their with my mind.
I'm now in a place where I can't understand anything.
I'm now in a place where everything seems useless and retarded.
5awla; I SAID QUIT IT! I don't want to hear anything! Ure dancing like crazy having the time of your lives , clueless about the things that I'm going through.
They both looked at me , scared to move or talk.
I left the room and I spent the next two hours in yadoo's room. It was going to be hard , I know that I'm going to suffer , I know that I'm going to cry and isolate myslef mn el3alm , and I surely know that this pain would take weeks or months to heal.
At the end , I'll be forced to accept the fact that he belongs to another women. I have to move on and carry on being 5awla.
The weak 5awla. The innocent 5awla. The harmless 5awla.
Ill not try to hurt him or even think about taking revenge or RUINING his marriage
That's not 5awla even though I feel like stroking that shamma
I know that I'm not that girl.
I want him to be happy and live his life.
Maybe just maybe there's someone out there who's better for me , who suits me , who would be just perfect , who would make me and my FAMILY happy.
-----
*3mair*
3 weeks in America and let me tell you its been great.
The college is perfect, the people are friendly and social.
Its my place , its where I'm supposed to be.
I talk to m7md every 2 days, he updates me on elfamily w shu msween fe dbai bs he never brings her up so I don't bother asking.
When I came here , everything changed.
My way of thinking changed , like I'm kind of married now. I can't give her hopes and keep bringing her back to a place where she will suffer.
I called shamma and sorted things out.
I have no feelings to her at all but I respect her as a person.
She's funny , she's smart , and she's understanding.
Its not like I can't stand her and I can't live with her.
We can be together in the same house , I imagine us but I never imagine myself being inlove with someone other than 5awla.
5awla is my past , my present , and I hoped that she could be my future.
5awla would always have my heart , she would always be the one to make my heart beats so fast.
My heart belongs with her , I feel so bad that I can't give it to shamma.
I wouldn't dare to , my hearts home is between 5awla's arms.
Even though tfkeeri t'3yr , I'm still having doubts of going back
Will I have the strength to face her?
-----
Its been a year now , everything came back to normal.
My sobs and nonstop cries became tears and only tears.
Not getting enough sleep became a habbit and not because I'm in pain.
I go to uni , I eat , I drink , and I smile :)
A big imrpovement I would say.
3afra is happy , m7md is happy , and my parents are definitely happy.
Talking to guys and socializing is no longer impossible.
I have colleagues and classmates who are men. Respectful men.
'3yab 3mair taught me to be a strong woman.
It taught me that I can find happiness because there are people out there who cares about me and I don't need his love to be 5awla.
He should be coming back any time this week.
I've been practicing and waiting for this moment.
I'm scared that I would collapse and cry , I'm scared that I would get back to that gloomy scary place where nothing seems important.
What should I say, should I hug him? Or should I shake his hand? Or do nothing just say hi.
It would be awkward , it would feel embrassing.
I don't want to have feelings when I see him
I don't want to feel crushed again , I need to be normal.
Akeed he got over with it , he has a rebound I don't.
He has a women who he has to take care of but no one needs to take care of me.
Its my big loss here not his.
He never said good-bye before leaving
No text no calls not even a small thing with m7md nothing.
That broke my heart but he's moving on so why should I be stuck in this misery?!
------
* Moza is 3mair's mom, I think I mentioned it bs maybe nsaitu:p *
M7md; 5aloo bteen wla shu? Tra mt25reen 3la elrayal n7n!
Moza; walla 7mood ana mtbhdla! Its too much work! The dinner that's gonna happen after his return and somebody has to grab shamma to meet yadoo and the family!
M7md; enzeen yadoo t3rf shu tswi ! Don't worry just come downstairs and let's go to the airport.
Moza; maryyy! Don't forget to give the driver the food and other things I told u to take to yadoo's
For the millionth time , 5alo moza repeated that to her maid.
I don't know why she's worrying that much! I know she miss 3mair but she doesn't have to freak out.
Shamma will be there
Yadoo knows the plan
I guess everything will go with the flow.
I turned on the engine and she came in.
Moza; walla sam7ni 7mood , mno 3ndi '3airk!
M7md; la 3adii 5aloo 7beebti bs t25rna 3la 3mair wayd w t3rfen wldch may7b ytrya!
Moza; walla twlht 3la wldi
She smiled and I smiled back.
----
(Back at 5awlas house)
I was watching a series on TV , which I enjoyed a lot.
It was my first time and I didn't even know what's it about but I enjoyed it :)
Suddenly , u hear my mom screaming like crazy!
She nearly made my heart stop beating!
Ngzt mn mkani w I looked at her surprised
5awla; WHAT!
Mama; goomi goomi mt25reeen
She was walking by me , closing the tv
Mama; skri haa ! GOOMI 5awoool matsm3een
5awla; wain agoom mama:s shu feech
Mama; we need to go yalla !
5awla; what do u mean we need to go:s
Mama; bait yadoo yalla 5awla walla bythb7ooni
5awla; what:s I'm not going !
Mama; laish 3la kaifch!
5awla; mn mta t'39beni aseer 3nd yadoo mama! Ams kna 3ndhm! W mt'6arba wya 3afra so maba :)
Mama; seerri lbsi 5awla a7snlch! 3shan 5a6r 3mair enzen
And when I heard his name , everything seemed blurry and confusing!
Mama; byrd elyoum shu feech! Ma tbain tt3rfain 3la 56eebth 5awool! Yalla mama 3shani tra 7ram 5alo moza ! Wa3deenha n7n !
5awla; mama plz I don't want to go
Mama; 5awla shu feech! Mn mta che 3need
I stood up , threw the pillow and ran to my room
What she expects me to go and meet his fiance like nothing is wrong!
I don't want to see him! Why does he have to come back and ruin everything just why?!
I cried for the first time in what 8 months?
I cursed him and his bitch
I cursed and cursed and cursed!
But I'm done
I'm done crying
I'm done cursing
I'm done feeling bad
I'm done ignoring him
I'm done feeling SHITTY
I opened my closet
Grabbed anything amazing and got dressed
Put on make up
blow dried hair
DONE!
I'm doing this for me
You're doing this for you 5awla
You're gonna smile
Be happy
Get to know his fiance
And enjoy :)
I havt to just try my best to keep my heart at home and go their with my mind.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)